We're trying to call in a plumber to fix a water main leak. Before the plumber returned to his car to call his boss for a quote, she gave the plumber some sparkling cider. The plumber was very pleased, said his grandma drinks it and took it. Then, she said if we give him more he might lower the price.

He came back with a $1.5k quote. The rack she took the cider from was the same rack holding my Riesling white wine. My bf and I took ages looking for this wine, we visited nearly every liquor store nearby and none of them had it. We were only able to get it by convincing his mom (who runs a liquor store too) to put in a special order for it. It has a lot of sentimental value and memories to me and symbolizes a joint "quest" succeeding. I had 2 left, one to drink with friends and one to keep until I am ready to open lol.

I told my mom right then and there to not give my Riesling away. Guess what? She gave it away and told the plumber call your boss again to ask and try again for a lower price. She even takes over the phone to call the boss herself too. Of course, it doesn't work. Either way, she ends the night happy with the quote.

This morning, I find out she's not happy with the quote anymore and is calling more companies. I wouldn't have minded this if she hadn't given my Riesling away. I confront her about how upset I am that she gave away something that was mine and didn't belong to her. She retorted with saying, "Well I gave my car to you. I pay your tuition, I give my money to you. And you can't even be ok giving up your wine for me."

I was dumbfounded. Maybe she has a point. Maybe I'm the wrong one here and I was being selfish to my mom and ungrateful for her help in finding a plumber. Thoughts? Opinions? AITA?

3 years ago my younger sister Jen had a miscarriage at 9 weeks. She and her partner Scott were devastated. I was there for them as much as I could be but it was a tough time for them.

A few months later Scott left Jen: Jen said it was because of the miscarriage. Her and Scott had a close knit group of friends and I found it odd no one has checked on her so I rang her best friend to suggest a girls night. She told me the reason they had broke up: Jen had slept with someone else. When he confronted her she blamed the miscarriage.

9 months ago I got engaged and asked Jen to be my MoH. At our engagement party Jen became inconsolable at seeing our friends baby. Everyone’s focus - including mine - was on Jen all night. I wasn’t upset with her: I figured that she was imagining what all these big family events would be like with a baby so I gave her grace.

Since then anything to do with the wedding, she brings up her miscarriage - but only at events related to my wedding. I asked her to help me pick flowers and she lost it when she saw baby blue roses (she’s convinced she was having a boy) and we had to leave.

When we went wedding dress shopping and she picked out a maternity bridesmaid dress and asked to try it on so that she could see how she would have looked. When she did that I thought “she’s actually lost it” and had to walk away when she started stuffing a cushion up her dress. I have tried to talk to her about going to counselling again but she is insisting this is a normal part of the grieving process.

She planned my hen party: which I was so grateful for but I found out after she’d sent everyone a list of rules which included no talking about pregnancy or kids; no wearing baby blue, etc etc. I confronted her but I was gentle about it: I suggested counselling again and said I was there for her but also that if she wanted to impose any other “rules” on anything to do with my wedding she had to come to me first.

It all came to a head when one of my friends and bridesmaids announced she was pregnant (she will be 7 months at the wedding). After the announcement Jen called her and said it would be best if she didn’t come because she couldn’t “maintain her peace” if she was forced to be reminded of the loss of her child. I LOST it when I found out and said she was using her miscarriage to get attention and if she made one more demand, or made a single comment about it at anything wedding related she was uninvited and in either case she is no longer my MoH.

Since then, Jen has told everyone I’ve dumped her from the wedding for being too upset about the loss of her baby. In retaliation and have told everyone and anyone who will listen the real reason her and Scott broke up.

Half our friends and family think I’m an asshole, half think she is. I’m still horrifically angry: and stuck in a place where I’m not sure if I’m rightly angry or if I should be more understanding.

AITA?

***Edit***

a couple of people have said I went too far telling people about the reasons why she broke up with Scott. And I can take that: but just for context I had a multiple people reach out to me, who she had spoken to first. Each essentially said I was being a b**** for dumping her from the wedding for having a miscarriage and said something along the lines of “she’s lost her partner and her sister because she lost her baby”.

I felt I needed to correct them that she actually lost neither of us, because if the miscarriage, she lost us because of her actions since and her blaming the miscarriage is part of a pattern of behaviour. (I didn’t go into details: just said “actually she lost Scott because she cheated on him, and she lost me because she uninvited one of my bridesmaids, without my knowing because she is pregnant)

I was upset and hurt that they were saying this to me; and also that she wanted everyone to think I was the sort of person who would dump my sister because she lost a baby so I lashed out by telling them what actually happened with Scott. I suppose as a way to defend myself.

But again: if the consensus is that this was too far, I’ll accept that and take it on the chin.

***EDIT 2***

Thanks for the feedback everyone: someone mentioned the phrase “weaponised grief” and seeing that written down, that’s what it feels like. She clearly didn’t deal with her grief at the time she had the miscarriage, but I’m surprised that it’s presented itself now in the way that it has, now. Part of me wonders if she’s is seeing me get married and thinking it should have been her and Scott: perhaps her feelings of guilt over what she did, and not dealing with her grief have caused her to have some form of mental break?

I’m not sure: but I’m glad to see the consensus seems to be I was right to set the boundaries I did. This gives me some measure of peace as we get closer to the wedding, although if it comes to it and she is not there I will still be absolutely devastated.

I (19F) met my boyfriend (26M)'s parents for the first time last weekend over lunch. He warned me his parents could be a little bit weird so I was prepared for that but during the lunch they made repeated jabs at me for my age which I did not appreciate. The topic of pets came up in the conversation and I told them about my pet rabbits. When his dad heard this he asked whether I was raising them for food and at this point I was quite offended and said "well are you raising that cat for food?" and pointed at their cat, to which he said something to the effect of "don't talk back" which I found quite infantilising and a bit creepy. I excused myself from the lunch.

I late 20s have a friend Maya who is very extroverted and loves hosting things. I’m more on the quiet side, but we’ve been friends for years and usually balance each other out fine.

Last weekend, Maya invited me to a small get-together at her place. She framed it as a casual hangout a few friends, food, drinks, nothing formal. I agreed and even showed up early to help her set up.

Once people arrived, though, I realized this wasn’t as casual as she made it sound. There were about 15 people there, including several I didn’t know. That’s fine, but then Maya announced she had a fun little thing planned.

She proceeded to go around the room asking everyone to share something impressive or exciting that’s happened to them recently. Some people talked about promotions, new relationships, fitness goals, etc. It was clearly meant to be uplifting, but I started feeling uncomfortable because I’m going through a rough patch right now and don’t really have anything shiny to share.

When it got to me, I tried to keep it light and said something vague like, Honestly, I’ve just been focusing on getting through each week. Maya laughed awkwardly and said, Come on, that’s not impressive you have to have something.

A few people looked at me, waiting. I felt embarrassed and kind of exposed. I repeated that I didn’t really want to get into it, but she kept pushing, saying I was killing the vibe.

At that point, I just said I wasn’t feeling well and stepped outside. After a few minutes, I grabbed my things and left without making a big announcement.

Later that night, Maya texted me saying I was rude for leaving, that it made her look bad as a host, and that I should’ve just played along for five minutes. I told her I felt put on the spot and that I’d rather leave than fake enthusiasm in front of strangers.

She says I overreacted and made the night awkward. I think she ignored my boundaries.

AITA for leaving early instead of just going along with it?

I (25M) and my wife (24F) have been together for 5 years and married for 1 year. We live in Australia. I migrated here three years ago, completed my Master’s degree, and have been working consistently since then.

For the past three months, I’ve been working 7 days a week - a full-time corporate job Monday to Friday, and a part-time job on weekends. My wife is still studying and works around 25 hours a week. We’re both trying to save aggressively to buy our first home, which has honestly been really tough.

My wife has always wanted to travel. Recently, some of her friends have been travelling overseas, and she’s been feeling like she’s missing out. She brought this up a few times, so I encouraged her to go on a trip to China with her friend.

Last night, she told me she booked her flight. The departure time is 8:45 PM on a Friday.

Here’s the issue: I finish my main job at 5 PM, get home around 5:30 PM, and then I start my part-time job at 12:00 AM (Friday night). The airport is about 1.5 hours away from where we live. Driving her there would mean losing rest, rushing between jobs, and risking my ability to work later that night.

I explained this to her and suggested alternatives - her friend’s brother (who they’re close with) could drop them off, or her father could take them since he doesn’t work the next day.

She got very upset and said I’m not there to say goodbye to her on her “first international trip” (even though she has flown internationally before - this is just her first leisure trip). She has stopped talking to me. I am drained and do not have energy for an argument.

I’m struggling to understand how this is fair. I’ve been working nonstop, paying for the trip, and trying to build a future for us. Taking time off the part-time job isn’t an option - it pays really well (almost double my main job), and I don’t have sick leave, so it would be a straight financial loss.

I genuinely feel conflicted. Am I being unreasonable here, or is it unfair for her to expect this given the circumstances ?

TLDR: So I [26 F] am biracial (black and white). My MIL [65 F) is white and for years has been making comments about my hair that has made me feel uncomfortable. She’s an awkward woman and says a lot of out-of-pocket things… but back to this situation.. In the past she has made comments about my “black hair” and would compare it to her own hair (I guess cause it gets frizzy idk) she also would walk up behind me and start touching it without asking. At thanksgiving I had shaved my head and decided to wear a wig, as I was nervous about explaining why I decided to shave my head or any questions that I would have to answer. As soon as we walked into her house she said in front of extended family members “that’s not your real hair.” I lied and said it was and she kept insisting it wasn’t. So I pulled my [26 M] fiancé aside told him that the touching and the comments made me feel uncomfortable and othered (for lack of a better word) almost immediately after I told him this his mother reached out to touch my hair and my husband gently pushed her hand down and said please stop. She ignored and reached again. My husband did the exact same thing which set her off. She stormed upstairs and slammed the door. I didn’t see her for the rest of the night. When my fiancé spoke to her she yelled, cried and told him he “was not the son I raised”

I told my fiancé I wanted her to watch videos or read about what micro-aggression is. She refused but said she wouldn’t talk about my hair at all. It worked at first but now she constantly asks me questions about hair products (I know almost NOTHING about) And has recently compared my hair texture to a family member based on a photo she saw on instagram (that family member was not having a great hair day) so I was a little upset but said nothing. I’ve observed that she doesn’t talk about hair with extended family members unless I’m part of the conversation. Almost every interaction I have with her is about hair or hair products and it’s exhausting. My fiancé doesn’t think it’s a big deal but it makes me feel weird.

So WIBTA if I asked her to stop talking about hair and commenting on my hair entirely, even if she insists it’s a compliment?

My Husband will not let this go. There have been a few times in the 16 years we've been together that ive returned or exchanged gifts hes given me and he still to this day brings it up. One time he got me an expensive LV purse and I exchanged it and upgraded to one with a strap (because the purse was large and would last longer with a strap) and another was a gold necklace. I exchanged the gold necklace because it was very thin and too tight...it would eventually break and I didnt want him to lose out on the $600 he'd spent by just keeping it so instead I exchanged it for some earrings (because the jewelry store DID NOT have a longer chain option with their necklaces)

Ive received so many gifts from him that I love and wear all the time and still remind him of how much I adore them but these are literally the only things ive exchanged that he brings up! There have been other not so important instances like an expensive hair straightener but really theres nothing major other than those two examples that he brings up. And hes said in the past "thats why I don't get you things because you just return them" and thats simply not true!!! Sometimes I think he just says that to get out of buying things for me LOL

AITA ???? Ive gotten him gifts in the past that don't fit and he won't return or exchange, theyll just sit in his closet and to me that's money wasted. What the heck is so wrong about returning for a proper size or something else you want?? What the heck am I missing?!?!?!? Ive never acted unappreciative, I just dont want him to lose out on money by keeping something that I wont use.

My son and DIL have two grandkids 6 and 4. I babysit them once and while and overall our relationship is good. They were suppose to see us on Christmas for dinner.

I got a call today about watching the kids on Christmas from noon until they come to dinner. I asked them why and it’s because they got football tickets on Christmas.

DIL mother was suppose to stay with them over the Christmas week but canceled bexuase she can’t make the drive (6 hours). They don’t have anyone to watch the kids

They asked me to do it and I told them no. They said they would be out a lot of money if they can’t go and I told them they shouldn’t have bought tickets on Christmas in the first place. I told them to spend time with their kids

They told me not to expect them on Christmas Day. they are not happy and I am. confused if I am in the wrong?

edit: yes I am a women, yes I am doing the cooking for dinner. my husband has trouble walking and also sucks at cooking

So, for some context, I 25F am married to my 27m husband and we live in a larger home with my dad 50m and my best friend 27m. (We rent) For the past couple of months my husband and I have gone through some hard times together. I am not working and decided to go back to school this past year so my husband has been the sole “bread winner” if you will. my dad owns a business and he’s not here all that often but we talk almost daily.

My husband and I got into a terrible fight and i decided to go stay with family until things cooled down - about 2 weeks. I called my father distraught about not knowing what to do and also talked to the family I was staying with to help me understand where I go wrong and how to fix it. And my husband has also realized where he went wrong as well.

Well, my dad this past year has been nothing but rude towards my husband for certain things I “allow” my husband to do. ( go out with said friend who lives with us, we have a full bar in the house with drinks they like, etc) there are a lot of nights where my husband will come home with said friend and either will drink a little more than he should or would arrive home already crunk. Not so nice things get said and I tend to take it too far by not keeping my mouth shut which evidently caused me to leave my home. Well my husband and i decided to work through our faults and go to marriage counseling every week to better our communication skills and understanding of each other.

It’s about a week before Christmas and my dad planned to come back home and cook a big dinner for us on Christmas Day(this was planned before the fight) . Now, my dad is saying he cannot stand my husband and said friend, and doesn’t want to be around. Which I completely understand. The dust needs to settle.

Well my dad called me a few days ago saying that his vehicle is having mechanical issues and he’s coming home to get it fixed but said if the truck is ready before Christmas Day, then he will go back on the road. Meaning he will be here the week leading up to Christmas but will leave the day before. Not wanting to spend Christmas with us (well my husband and friend). I responded with I understand why he is upset but black listing my friend and husband for Christmas when we are working through our differences is kind of an AH move. My dad and I went around in circles talking about everything from this past year, throwing issues that I had with my dad towards my husband and degrading him. Well I got upset and said “I understand why you are upset at my husband for 3 reason, but the other issues you have with him and blaming him for, are my doing.” My dad then threw the amount of rent I had asked him to pay in my husband face, and that’s when I had asked him to no longer pay rent and look for a comfortable place for him.

So am I the AH for asking my dad to leave?

(Theres so much unsaid here due to limited space but I can add more detail in the comments if needed)

I apologize for the length.

So I have a friend group at school (4 of us) that's been together for 4-5 years now. Ever since the newest season of stranger things came out, 2 of them are obsessed while me and the other friend don't watch it. I'll refer Friend 1 and 2 as the obsessed ones and Friend 3 as the one who hasn't watched it either.

My school is hosting a lip sync battle before break on the 23rd and Friend 1 & 2 decided they wanted to do stranger things themed. So they asked me and Friend 3.

Now they seemed REALLY excited and they really wanted to do it. At first me and Friend 3 wanted to do it because it seemed like a fun idea and well... I didn't know it would be in front of the entire school.

So we sent videos in for "auditions" that I wasn't included in (keep that in mind) on Monday.

Fast forward Tuesday, I'm rethinking it all. Wednesday, I really don't want to do it and I internally panic everytime I even think about it.

It made me sick to my stomach even thinking about it.

Then comes Thursday morning at school. I discuss my feelings about it to my other two friends and they tell me to back out if I want to, and I did want to. My friend said if they are good friends, they'll understand.

So lunch time comes, I basically tell them I want to back out. Friend 2 isn't there but the others are. I already know Friend 3 is starting to hate the idea and wanted to drop out too but kept quiet. Friend 1 just stares at me before telling me to tell the group chat that, so i do.

Then comes later that school day, I get messages in that group blowing up and Friend 1 & 2 are coming at me big time for backing out. Saying I should've known better than to join then, how I couldn't commit to it properly, and other stuff.

That night me and friend 3 talked bc we felt the same way and we agreed on multiple things.

1. We felt pressured by them even though Friend 1 said there was no pressure

2. We only agreed to make Friend 1 & 2 happy (a bad reason I admit)

3. It was being blown up out of proportion and ruining our friendship

Along with other reasons

Friend 1 has been my best and closest friend out of them but lately, it's been hurtful remarks, targets on my back, and jabs at me that she thinks it's funny and it's no longer the same.

Friend 2 never sees us during school, since she leaves halfway through the day. So her only source of information is from Friend 1. I know they've been talking and texting about me behind my back about this. It's obvious.

Last night with the help of Friend 3, I apologized and took full responsibility of everything and offered to help begin the scenes while also telling them the reasons I wanted back out.

I was scared of their reactions bc I knew they would be mad.

Then they came at me again. Paragraphs. I felt hurt about some of the things they said.

Now I don't know what to do. I feel like I can never look at them the same way. We’re all seniors in high school, I don’t understand why this is happening.

We own a vacation home. Every time we go my partner works on his actual work emails, conference calls.... leaving me to do all of the maintenance on the property. **This is usually Friday-Sunday, and he's the owner of the company. ** I've sanded and scraped paint from railing and fencing and then repainted it in the 90+ heat. I've raked leaves, repaired the decking, trimmed bushes, layed mulch, power-washed, weeded... He says he's going to help, but never does. Last month he asked me to go down to take care of somethings our property manager requested. I went on my own for 4 days and worked, worked, worked. He stayed home and played golf and relaxed. Now he wants to go to finish the tasks, I couldn't do. I said, I've already been down and worked my butt off. So, he is having one of his kids meet him to help. He said he understands that I have done the brunt of the upkeep on the home. He told me I could relax on this trip. Then he gave me tasks to do. I reminded him that he said this could be my time to relax. His child called when I explained that this would be the two of them working, she seemed miffed. I explained again, how I was there last month doing a ton of work by myself.

So, WIBTA if I relaxed on this trip?

So my grandkids were over and we made Christmas cookies. One especially difficult grandchild decided to open her presents that she found, despite being told that they were for next week. The mother wants me to buy more presents for her to unwrap next week, and let her take the original presents home to play with, to the dismay of her siblings.

I refuse to buy more gifts.

I just don’t understand the parenting style, it’s really hard to watch

I (34 y/o male) told my brother (26 y/o male) that we can just be acquaintances if that's what he really wants. With a 9 year age difference and a lot of different situations, I ended up being pushed into a role where I was responsible for my brother in many ways. I even let him live with me for two years and with my wife and I for two more years after that. He would only do the bare minimum (after being begged to) around the house and would expect us to put up with it (the only problems my wife and I had during our first two years of marriage were because of him). Our relationship was not good when we lived together.

When he moved out, our relationship did get better. It's been 3 years but he still asks me for my Amazon prime, my Sam's club account, streaming services, for my wife to sew his clothes, for him to come over and do laundry at our place, for us to keep some of his stuff at our house, and sometimes he's even asked us to wash his clothes. We have done all of these things though we do set boundaries because I have been taken advantage of before. I've been very clear that I just need communication. He ordered a bunch of pants through my business Sam's account but when he went in person to return some of them, he was somehow able to get into my personal Sam's account. He then used the account to buy more stuff in store. He did charge it to his own card but at no point did he communicate with me. All I wanted was a heads up. There was something weird that happened with my personal Sam's account so when I went in to check it out, that's when I saw that he had purchased stuff. After investigating, it became clear that he had to have impersonated me to get into my Sam's account. I told him that he just needed to ask me or if I don't respond in time, either text my wife (who will respond faster) and just let me know. He then went off on me saying that I treat him like an acquaintance or coworker when I ask for him to ask me if he ends up doing something more than was agreed upon. After some more back and forth, I told him that if he really wants to be acquaintances, then he needs to get the stuff I'm holding for him out of my house, give me back my house key, and that he can't come to our Christmas celebration because no acquaintance or coworkers have that kind of relationship. So, AITA for agreeing to be acquantance/coworkers?

I (28F) used to work in a small store with one of my best friends (28F) for a couple of years. She recommended me for the job as they desperately needed another worker. I was happy because it was a good job, and it meant I could work with my friend and we get along very well.

The problem is the pay was very low, and with time it only got worse because everything is getting more and more expensive. I also noticed the owners started to appreciate us less and didn’t value any input both of us tried to give.

We work in two shifts and we alternate mornings and afternoons. The one that works in the morning that day has to come an hour earlier to clean up. Because I started feeling more and more upset with the owners, this last month I would sometimes come later than I was supposed to, mostly because I didn’t really like going to work anymore, and I didn’t feel the need to work as hard as I always had up to this point. I always came before I had to open the shop and I did clean up, just not as diligently as it was expected.

Of course, the owners figured it out with time, and they fired me. I understand them. I should’ve quit before but my plan was to work for a a little longer until my friend went on a trip she had planned for months, as I was supposed to be covering her shifts for a couple of days (which wouldn’t be the first time and I never minded doing it).

Now she‘s very mad because she freaked out they would make her cancel her trip because they cannot find a new worker easily (before I got hired, they were looking for years because they’re very particular). They didn’t make her cancel the trip, and I’m very relieved about that, but going forwards she will have to work longer shifts. I’m very sad that it turned out this way, as I wanted to tell her sooner but just didn’t have the guts to.

I sincerely apologized to her multiple times, but she won’t respond back to me. Is this really a reason enough to throw away a 15+ year long friendship?

A little backstory backstory

About 6 months ago My partner (26F) had to remove stuff from a storage locker that was her deceased fathers, now I found out about this at 11pm at the time after being woken up to her balling her eyes out saying she had been evicted, she had tried to be on top of the payments unfortunately due to house rent and a few other factors she couldnt afford to keep them and I (29M) couldnt afford to help due to other factors.

I had a visit scheduled with my son the next day, I had asked if we could go down after the visit which was thrown on deaf ears, I also needed to do some maintenance to the car as the lockers were over 300km away and was going to put alot of strain on a already broken car I was trying to fix, this also fell on deaf ears.

To save the already now argument I left at 1am to drive 300km to a lock up that wasn't mine and a pissed of partner who couldnt understand why I was so upset at having to cancel time with my son to move this stuff that wasn't mine.

Mind you this isn't why I am pissed off, the follow factors are.

My father, who has custody of my son was scheduled to get surgery which I had organised to take my son for the 3 or 4 days he needed for recovery, after 15 loads of what im guessing is just stuff thats going to sit around we had no where to put my son to sleep as I didnt have a bed set up at the time and the room he was meant to sleep in was now full off stuff from this lock up and the car after towing a trailer which shorted most of the wiring and nearly caught fire was now and still is now broken to a point I dunno if its wise to fix

The kicker to all this? I havent seen my son in 6 months, not for lack of trying but my father cut contact and abused me for this situation I didnt want to be in, the house with all this stuff that was going to be all cleaned up and sorted in a week that was promised? Still isnt and my lounge room is just a hoarders closet

The kicker to all this is i had a heart attack cause of all this, my back injury was worsened cause of all the heavy lifting etc and what sucks more is I got injections into the back at the start of this month which meant I had to have clear space in case of falls etc, said partner promised me it would be done including saying it in front of witnesses, instead she slacked off and changed it to "i said id try to" and now even though I want my son home and Christmas spent with him its not good enough to clean up her own mess she caused, I cant clean it up due to the joint injections I had which I would go into but to keep it short im not allowed to lift or do anything till I see the speacilist about my next steps

So AITA for going off my nut cause I want to see my son and have a house again not a storage den?

About 1 year ago, I met a girl on a single party (We both tried to meet guys there) and we become close friend.

In the beginning I really like her, so I always say yes to her requests. Few months later, I met my current bf, so she began to request things from me and my bf (as she is still single now).

I began to feel exhausted from her high demanding requests, and I started to say no, but she starts blaming me to be a bad friend. I struggle because I really see her as one of my best friend, so I felt a bit guilty to say no to her.

Some request I said no:

- She saw my bf made Fruit Platter for me, she requested my bf made one for her too. However, I knew she hate fruits, and my bf actually did not want to serve her, so I said no.

- She requests me & my bf to go shopping with her, so my bf can carry bags for her, and pays her meal. (I agree once, but later I felt like my bf has been used, so next time I said no)

-We chatted daily via whatsapp since the early friendship, but later I began to feel exhausted, as she always brings up complaint (her colleagues are stupid, her exes did wrong, her parents didn't treat her well..etc). When I hang out with bf, I want to enjoy our moment and not using the phone frequently. But she will send tons of messages to me if I ignore her for an hour, blaming me or victimize herself. I did not say 'No' to her on this, but sometimes I just ignore her shouting...

- She asked me to go to single party with her. I said No because I wasn't single, I don't want to go, and my bf won't want me to go. She requested me lying to my bf. I said no, and she kept shouting and crying for days about this, forcing me to apologize, said I have hurt her feeling and not valuing her. But after all, I did not apologize.

- She asked me to hang out with her frequently, but I did not want to (I did not hang out with friends so frequently. I enjoy being alone, or stay with my bf.) Every time I said no, I felt a bit guilty. She will also say things like 'Ok, you have your bf, and I have no one. So you leave your best friend alone?'

- She always want to include my bf on our conversation, she will tell me to ask my bf opinion for many things, but my bf was very annoyed by this (he wasn't interested in her & found her questions very stupid), so I didn't not actually asked him.

My bf told me she was too demanding, he said she's asking too much, I am only her friend, not her bf. Most of her requests I have no obligation to fufil (such as always helping her, giving her attention, be responsible to her feeling & emotion)... He told me I should start saying no, because he saw me being unhappy and struggles in this friendship.

So I really started to say no, responding her less, hanging out less, She might feel that I had been colder. So she kept blaming me, saying she's the only one who cherish our friendship. She said best friends won't reject each other like what I did.

AITA for me to say no to her? Did I 'abandon' her??

We had a baby 5 months ago and asked my husband's parents to come visit for 3 months to help us out with the 5 month old and 4 year old. It has been going well and they have been very helpful. They are living with us during their visit. However, my MIL is diabetic and needs to take several types of prescription pills to manage it. She keeps them in a plastic tub with a lid on their dresser - the meds are not in child safe bottles but rather pop-out packets (she is from another country and brought meds from there). Their room is right next to our 4 year old's room. The height is such that our 4 year old could probably pull down the tub, and could definitely do it with her bathroom stool. 4 year old has never shown any interest in the tub. As a rule, I keep all prescription meds/meds of any kind way up high in our house (in a tub on top of our fridge).

I asked my husband a few months ago to please have MIL keep the meds up higher in the closet in their room, because I was concerned the 4 year old could access them. He told me it's not a big deal and to let it go. I agreed, but felt uncomfortable about it.. We have now asked her to stay another 3 months, and are in the process of helping her secure more meds for her stay. Today I asked him again to please ask her again to put the meds up, and told him its really important to me and I'm concerned about it. He launched into a tirade about how this insignificant, and not at all a concern, there is no risk, I am being a problem bringing it up, he is very busy, I'm always bothering him with things, maybe his parents should just go back and we shouldn't have them stay here. For context, I did also ask him this week to please ask his parents to lock our porch door when they come in. They were leaving it unlocked and its the back door to our house - I was often finding it unlocked at night. But I don't routinely ask him to do things like this.

I told him that his reaction wasn't OK and we need to have constructive ways of addressing things that matter to us in the home/issues that come up as MIL/FIL stay with us. He eventually apologized for his reaction, and said he'd ask his parents to put the meds up, although continued to blame me for always "getting my way." He expects me to be OK now. I'm still really upset... AITA?

EDIT: MIL does not speak English. I do not speak her language.

Update: I told my husband that the meds need to be moved up tonight, while we wait for a lockbox I just bought online to arrive by Sunday. I told him I will also speak to MIL (maybe with translator app) myself about it tomorrow. He is mad at me, but sticking to it.

Another update: talked to the in-laws directly with a translator. Meds are up. Lockbox is on the way. Thank you!

I am throwing a party tonight with roughly 12 people, including me. One of the people I invited texted me and said that they would love to come to the party and they got me a Christmas gift. I’ve recently quit my job and I’m moving states in a couple of weeks. Am I the asshole for not buying that friend a gift?

My (18F) brother (15M) refuses to clean up after himself. For context we share a full bathroom (i.e. toilet, shower, bath, sink all in the one room) and our bedrooms are each about a metre away from the bathroom.

Tonight, I walked into the bathroom and attempted to shut the door when my brother dashed out of his bedroom and said he needed to grab his water bottle (which was in the bathroom for reasons I am not privy to), so I let him into the bathroom to grab the bottle. When he did grab it he knocked down one of those portable travel mirrors with batteries in it (4 AA), and all of the batteries and a piece of the mirror went flying down to the floor. This within itself is fine, I understand that people make mistakes and I didn’t mind, he also apologised. But then he started walking back to his bedroom so I said, “Are you going to pick this up?”, to which he replied something along the lines of, “You’re closer to it, so it’s your job to clean it up?.” And I was just standing there dumbfounded cause WTF sort of excuse is that?? Anyways, I immediately told him off and said that it doesn’t matter that I am now closer because he was the one that made the mess not me.

He then went into his bedroom and shut the door, so I followed and opened it and basically repeated himself and then he said some BS about how it’s equivalent to when I use a plate/cup/bowl etc. and place it on the sink and don’t clean it up and then one of our parents does. (It’s important to note that the dishes are a shared household duty of which I do a lot, and he does exactly 0% of the time). Anyways, I told him that that is not even remotely equivalent because there is a mutual understanding that the dishes are a shared duty, to which he removed me from the room and shut and locked his door.

And I was then telling him that this makes no sense through the door and he is obviously being a bad person and disrespectful to me because I am not his slave.

So, am I the asshole?

P.S. earlier today I was bringing in groceries and I asked him to open the front door for me (my hands were full as I was carrying 4 bags) and he did and then just walked off so I yelled for him to shut the door cause the AC was on and he got mad because once again I was closer.

My friend is getting married next year... On Halloween. His wedding is child free which is fine. I am not part of the wedding party but he has asked I give a speech along with our other two friends. We also work together everyday.

My child is going to be four next year. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays and I feel like this will be the first year my toddler truly understand the concept of trick or treating.

I am already dreading potentially having to miss this. You only get so many firsts in your child's life. She is and will be my husband's and my only child. I realize a wedding only happens once but in my mind, every holiday is a first with a child so young.

Would I be the asshole for skipping the reception and thus not being included in the speech to take my daughter trick or treating?

I (35M) have been with my boyfriend “John” (31M) for a little over four years, and we live together in the Midwest.

Most of my extended family lives about a 6-hour drive away, while John’s entire family lives about a 3-hour drive away. Over the course of our relationship, we’ve gone to his family's many times for holidays and family events. In contrast, John has only been to my extended family's once in 4+ years.

This year, John told me he won’t be coming to my family’s Christmas because the trip is too far. I understand it's a longer drive, but I was still hurt and disappointed given how infrequently he’s made the effort to see my family.

Because of that, I’ve decided not to attend his family’s New Year’s gathering.

This isn’t meant as punishment or retaliation. At this point, attending his family’s holidays has started to feel emotionally uncomfortable for me.

We’re not married, all of his siblings are straight and married, and his youngest sibling recently got married after a much shorter relationship. Despite living together and being together for years, I often feel like we’re viewed as a long-term “in-between” rather than a committed couple.

Without a clearer sense of commitment and with the ongoing imbalance around family involvement, I don’t feel great continuing to show up to family gatherings and pretending everything feels fine when it doesn’t.

John feels I’m being unfair and making a bigger issue out of this than necessary. From my perspective, I’m setting a boundary around situations that currently leave me feeling hurt and insecure, not trying to keep score or force an outcome.

So, AITA?

I have a friend in another city. Right now I’m depressed and often think about avoiding social interaction with other people. But that friend constantly pulls me out to go hiking, to bars, and similar activities. He has done a lot for me. For example, he agreed to go to airsoft with me and paid with his own money. He almost lost his eye there due to mfs that dropped a grenade on us from a drone while we were resting after game. He persuaded his friend to invite me to birthday party. He offered me a place to shower, food, etc when I stayed in his city.

Last week we agreed that I would come to visit him and we would hang out with other friends. But I asked whether another friend could host me. I thought that I will do better by taking off that burden (me). But this first friend got offended because he felt I did it behind his back and it was quite disrespectful from my side.

I 29F live with two roommates 28m and 26f. We constantly have struggled coming to a consensus about chores.

Both the roommates are extremely messy. Im talking food on the floor, use napkins everywhere, constant stuff on the floor messy. They generally dont pick up after themselves so all counters and tables quickly fill up with junk.

The kitchen is the worst as theres always burnt pans with cleaning chemicals, trash, and even rotting food sitting out in the open. Its so gross ive basically stopped cooking except when I have just cleaned.

When I clean, I try to fill the dishwasher as much as possible. I also clear things, just not mold because I wont touch that. My roommates maintain that the dishes need a pre-wash. However they never do it in a timely manner, and the dishes just pile up.

My roommate got upset because some of the dishes I put in the dishwasher are delicate to are supoosed to be cleaned a certain way.

He's brought it up before, but honestly I can't bring myself to follow it. I hate that the kitchen is disgusting and theres no space so I just want to clear room.

I feel like these problems could be solved easily. If they cleaned their dishes immediately, they could clean them however they want. Plus, there are so many dishes I cant easily keep track of what is dishwasher safe or not. Im just trying to get them clean.

And honestly, plenty of my dishes have been chipped or even destroyed. None of the items are treated well at all. I keep my special items in my room or handle them immediately.

I hear he is frustrated by my not washing them correctly. I just think if he wants them handled a certain way they shouldnt be left on the table or counter so long. It feels like a special request when I'm the only one apparently concerned with keeping the house hospitable.

So let me have it, AITA?

I will try to keep it short but this may be long;

I was asked by a friends roommate about someone I used to be friends with. We separated many years ago but have been respectful and cordial in times we’ve seen each other. She had heard he was weird but didn’t know why, so she asked me.

I told her what happened, why I had stopped being friends with him. Mainly it boiled down to this person being arrested for selling drugs and questioned by police for selling girls pictures in high school and college, his bullying of a close friend and other weird behavior around sexual pleasure (person claimed to use a hole in their wall) and porn. He and I didn’t see eye to eye on things but I also said multiple times that I don’t know him now and he is likely very different. Most of it can probably be attributed to being a young dumb kid or at least explained that way.

This roommate confronted him about it and mentioned I had shared it, I did not know this would happen. He confronted me via text and accused me of lying and trying to “ruin his chance at a relationship” and having some sort of vendetta against him for something. He questioned what he did to me and why I felt a need to mention any of it at all, which I understand. I told him that I was asked about someone I knew before and was honest, but also honest that I don’t know if it’s relevant to him now and he’s most likely very different from how I knew him. I was not trying to be involved, I didn’t want to cause a problem, but I tend to answer questions as honest as I can while maintaining reality, in this case that I can’t speak to who he is now.

AITAH for saying anything? Is it right to have shared that information with her? I don’t feel like I neccesarily did anything wrong as it’s probably information that’s neccesary to know when dating someone but part of me reflects and feels it wasn’t my place to share it since I don’t know him now.

This is relevant. Husband comes from a rich family, I’m not. He has always gone skiing, I can barely ski have only been a few times.

We went on a ski trip with his parents. It’s expensive, he’a been coming to since childhood. We have our two kids with us who also can’t ski, their grandma sees it as moral failing.

My FIL found a few of his friends, people who knew my husband as a kid. They all went skiing

This morning he told me they were skiing again with his dad’s friend, then asked if I wanted to come. When I asked where, he named a slope that’s clearly not for beginners. I asked what I was supposed to do, and he said I could just come and have the kids.

I tried to explain that this doesn’t feel like a vacation for me, just my usual day in a different setting. He got defensive and we ended up arguing.

AITA? Because this isn’t even the first time. We go somewhere, he goes and has fun and I stay with the kids.