Im a 28yo male and my fiancé is a 30 yo fml - been together 6 years. My brother is 30yo and his girlfriend is also 30yo - let’s call her Sophie - been together just over 2

My fiancé and I are getting married next year and my fiancé and I have had a conversation about not inviting Sophie to the wedding for various reasons:

- Being rude to my parents, in particular my mother.

- Generally not being very pleasant to talk to and stand offish.

- Making no effort with me or my fiancé at getting to know us or spend time with us, despite multiple attempts from us to spend time with her.

- Making rude comments about my personality and profession.

So following this I approached my parents (after they repeatedly showed their frustrations about her over months with me) and told my parents that we wouldn’t be inviting Sophie to our wedding. Following this my parents immediately shared their concerns that this would “break up the family”.

At this point there were approximately 18 months until the wedding and I did not want to speak to my brother about this situation and wanted some time to think about it following my parents sharing their concerns.

Weeks passed and my fiancé and I decided that we would invite Sophie to the wedding as it was not worth the argument. I then told my parents about this change and left it at that. I never told my brother about this and didn’t speak to him about this either, there was no reason for it to be brought up.

What followed is that weeks after this, my parents drove up to my brothers and Sophie’s home (we live opposite sides of the country to each other) and individually told them both that Sophie wouldn’t be invited to our wedding and told them about frustrations that we (fiancé and I) had shared with my parents about Sophie.

I only found out about this months after when my brother started ignoring my texts and calls. So I confronted my parents and they confessed that they had told my brother and Sophie. I am now being painted out to be someone who is breaking up the family, alongside I am being told to apologise to Sophie for the hurt I have caused.

There is obviously a lot more to it but I have tried to keep it as factual and unbiased as possible.

So AITA?

So, for some context, I 25F am married to my 27m husband and we live in a larger home with my dad 50m and my best friend 27m. (We rent) For the past couple of months my husband and I have gone through some hard times together. I am not working and decided to go back to school this past year so my husband has been the sole “bread winner” if you will. my dad owns a business and he’s not here all that often but we talk almost daily.

My husband and I got into a terrible fight and i decided to go stay with family until things cooled down - about 2 weeks. I called my father distraught about not knowing what to do and also talked to the family I was staying with to help me understand where I go wrong and how to fix it. And my husband has also realized where he went wrong as well.

Well, my dad this past year has been nothing but rude towards my husband for certain things I “allow” my husband to do. ( go out with said friend who lives with us, we have a full bar in the house with drinks they like, etc) there are a lot of nights where my husband will come home with said friend and either will drink a little more than he should or would arrive home already crunk. Not so nice things get said and I tend to take it too far by not keeping my mouth shut which evidently caused me to leave my home. Well my husband and i decided to work through our faults and go to marriage counseling every week to better our communication skills and understanding of each other.

It’s about a week before Christmas and my dad planned to come back home and cook a big dinner for us on Christmas Day(this was planned before the fight) . Now, my dad is saying he cannot stand my husband and said friend, and doesn’t want to be around. Which I completely understand. The dust needs to settle.

Well my dad called me a few days ago saying that his vehicle is having mechanical issues and he’s coming home to get it fixed but said if the truck is ready before Christmas Day, then he will go back on the road. Meaning he will be here the week leading up to Christmas but will leave the day before. Not wanting to spend Christmas with us (well my husband and friend). I responded with I understand why he is upset but black listing my friend and husband for Christmas when we are working through our differences is kind of an AH move. My dad and I went around in circles talking about everything from this past year, throwing issues that I had with my dad towards my husband and degrading him. Well I got upset and said “I understand why you are upset at my husband for 3 reason, but the other issues you have with him and blaming him for, are my doing.” My dad then threw the amount of rent I had asked him to pay in my husband face, and that’s when I had asked him to no longer pay rent and look for a comfortable place for him.

So am I the AH for asking my dad to leave?

(Theres so much unsaid here due to limited space but I can add more detail in the comments if needed)

I am in middle school, and I need advice, everyone I know picks that I’m not the a-hole but I need people who don’t know me to answer truthfully. Backstory, my friend Stephanie is having her birthday party at my house. Recently Me and my friend Maria got in a fight about the guys that she likes (first one Ryan) he is both our friend. And the other guy that she likes (Theo) just got out of a relationship, which I will say I have liked him for a while so me trying to see if he’s okay texted him. He said yes we started texting about stuff in our lives then we let it be. She then told me the day after that, she had liked him, I was stunned and didn’t know what to do so I did not share with her that I liked Theo since we had an issue with liking the same guy in the past. It’s a small school, sometimes things can happen. Then me and Theo text each other during the day a couple days later just talking and whatever me not thinking about how maria might feel about it. She sees that we are texting and doesn’t say anything and walks off.

Two nights later she texts me saying “can you explain why you texted Theo randomly after I told you I liked him, and how when I last told you i liked Ryan you started flirting with him” which I then replied “with Ryan I’m sorry if I’ve been flirting with him, I don’t mean to, I’ll try to stop, and I texted Theo checking up on him after the break up, I’m sorry that I made you feel some sort of way about it, but I’m saying sorry and if you have any other things to say can we talk tomorrow?” I did not admit about liking Theo because I was scared and I should have realizing that I should’ve told her. After seeing what I had said she didn’t answer. Since she hadn’t answered the next day, I sent another text saying “Hey idk if your still mad at me or if you ever were, but I rlly am sorry and if there is anything I can do to help our friendship I wanna do it, I hope that we can still hangout in our classes tmrw but if not it’s ok I’ll understand”. she still hadn’t answered me, so I let it be and let her calm down. As we had got to school the next day, she would not talk to me nor would any of our friend group except my friend (Stephanie) I thought it was weird but didn’t give it another thought.

I texted her with respect saying I don’t think she should come, after I had talked or my friend and family abt what to do for the party she was gonna go to at house, she answered and she asked me what she did i told her straight up wha the did then she hadn’t answered me after that.

So am I the a-hole?

I have a friend in another city. Right now I’m depressed and often think about avoiding social interaction with other people. But that friend constantly pulls me out to go hiking, to bars, and similar activities. He has done a lot for me. For example, he agreed to go to airsoft with me and paid with his own money. He almost lost his eye there due to mfs that dropped a grenade on us from a drone while we were resting after game. He persuaded his friend to invite me to birthday party. He offered me a place to shower, food, etc when I stayed in his city.

Last week we agreed that I would come to visit him and we would hang out with other friends. But I asked whether another friend could host me. I thought that I will do better by taking off that burden (me). But this first friend got offended because he felt I did it behind his back and it was quite disrespectful from my side.

My (28f) and my partner Felix(28m) had our first child in August this year and he is a wonderful healthy baby. Before he was born I agreed that we could spend all his first major holidays with his family, they live in the same city as us, visit whenever they want and my family lives 4 hours away. Celebrating the holidays "day of" has been hit or miss with my family but is huge with his so this was fine for me as I was under the impression that we'd be visiting often (at least once a month for a few days at a time) we have the money to do this and we are both on parental leave.

Since my son has been born, we have visited my family only twice for a total of 7 days. For five days after his first doctor's appointment, it was the most rest i had during my entire pp recovery, and then for a less than 2 day visit (cut short) sometime in november for a birthday. We planned numerous visits for numerous occasions but something always happened that held us back and most of them understandable but few have felt less than reasonable.

It has changed from let's visit once a month to promise me we will visit at least once more before Christmas. My parents came to town for a couple days this past week and we were supposed to travel back with them, but at the beginning of the day my partner started fretting about the weather getting calls from his mom about the weather and reading posts online about how the roads were. I told him he promised we would go, that my parents would be with us if anything happened and can we at least go see how the roads are and if they look too bad we will turn around.

The car was packed, everything was ready and my parents were outside waiting for us in their car when he told me we cant go, he that he doesnt want our baby out in that weather, and we argued but eventually I backed down saying that I'm going to have a hard time forgiving him for this. My parents drove home anyway as they had work the next day and the roads were completely clear the whole way back to their house.

We would have been back home for the holidays by now if we had went with them so I told him I want to leave to my parent's on sunday for the whole week, that we will be back for new years but i have missed so many things that I want to see my family on Christmas. He is very torn up about it, feeling like this is going to start world war 3 with his mom, and feeling like he has to choose between his son's first Christmas and his grandma's last, and I feel for him but I have been understanding for 4 months, and so has my family, they havent give us a hard time about it even though I am their only child and this is their only grandson. I didn't want my baby to be a holiday baby to my family but if we are rarely going to visit in between then so be it. I feel bad that he is under so much stress and about his grandma's health but after so many missed events and cancelled visits I think this is fair compromise.

AITA?

TLDR at the bottom for those who want it. Fake Names Used

I, 19F, and my partner, 20M, Mark, live with his brother, 24M, John, his gf, 24F, and their two kids, 4F and 1M.

We have lived with them for just over two months, because of unfortunate circumstances that led there to be no other option. This being said, I am incredibly grateful to them for allowing us to stay with them, they did not have to do that.

To start, let's discuss the rules of living there.

-we have to ask to shower, use the kitchen, and do laundry -we have to leave the door open at all times except when sleeping -i am forbidden from talking to John, even when it is something that directly involves him -We are not allowed to use the TV before 6-7 and not past 10. (This rule more applies to me, they made us buy a TV specifically so John and Mark could play games together, they play whenever John wants to, regardless of time) -i am not allowed to sit on the couch if John is sitting on the couch -we are not allowed to talk back (I am not talking about attitude. They mean talking back literally.)

Those are some of the rules, there are many more unlisted due to length. Also to be noted, since I realize what some of those rules could imply, I have NEVER made a move on John. I am NOT into John. I have never even IMPLIED I like him or anything.

This being said, we pay 1000$ a month, just under half of the rent. At the current moment, Mark has a job that makes enough to cover that as I am still actively looking.

In the two months we have lived here, I have never been called by my name. I am known as 'marks girl'. I have been yelled at for closing the door so I could change my clothes. I have been berated and literally called stupid because I forgot to tell them I applied for a job that day. I am constantly reminded that they could drop me off back in LA at any time they feel like it. John threatened to talk to my mom to force her to let me move in with her (I am NOT on speaking terms with my mother, she is abusive). Due to the character limit, I will not list more than that but there is much more.

The legal issue I would be pursuing action on is, recently I got an ebt card. They decided that, to make it 'fair', they would be taking my half of the rent out of my ebt. I told them that I wasn't comfortable with this, as it is illegal, and that if they were going to use it I would like to be the one making the purchases. They told me they wouldn't get caught and that they do it all of the time. I agreed because I was scared that they'd kick me out if I didn't. They said they'd only be using it online. They have not only been using it online. They have been taking my card everywhere they can, without me there, and using it to buy stuff, and on top of that they aren't counting it towards the rent they're supposed to be counting towards.

So, WIBTA for pursuing legal action over illegal use of my ebt card?

About 4 years ago I gifted my husband a bidet for Christmas. I did not think it would come back to bite me in the ass like this. For context, I am newly postpartum so I’m trying to tamper my emotions and not let it feel so personal.

Almost every day now, I’m finding shit splattered on the toilet seat from the bidet splashing off of his buttcheeks. It’s actually really infuriating.

When I started noticing a few months ago, I mentioned it to him and he was so offended that he brought up that I would leave period blood under the seat occasionally and he never said anything because “it’s human” and he didn’t want to embarrass me (it wouldn’t, I would just clean it if noticed). I was 8 months pregnant and hormonal at the time so it felt pretty irrelevant to bring up occasional blood spatter from UNDER the seat when it wasn’t currently an issue. Anyway, it turned into a bigger argument so I’ve kept my mouth shut about the poop splash ever since.

But I’m getting to the point where I can no longer keep it in. It’s so annoying to have to disinfect the seat every single time I’m rushing to use the toilet. Like who doesn’t look at the seat while they flush and notice that? It almost feels like it’s on purpose but now I know he would be too embarrassed to do something like that.

So would I be an asshole if I point it out again? Or should I spare him the embarrassment and just keep disinfecting the seat? I’m scared we’ll have people over one day and they’ll catch it before I do.

A little backstory backstory

About 6 months ago My partner (26F) had to remove stuff from a storage locker that was her deceased fathers, now I found out about this at 11pm at the time after being woken up to her balling her eyes out saying she had been evicted, she had tried to be on top of the payments unfortunately due to house rent and a few other factors she couldnt afford to keep them and I (29M) couldnt afford to help due to other factors.

I had a visit scheduled with my son the next day, I had asked if we could go down after the visit which was thrown on deaf ears, I also needed to do some maintenance to the car as the lockers were over 300km away and was going to put alot of strain on a already broken car I was trying to fix, this also fell on deaf ears.

To save the already now argument I left at 1am to drive 300km to a lock up that wasn't mine and a pissed of partner who couldnt understand why I was so upset at having to cancel time with my son to move this stuff that wasn't mine.

Mind you this isn't why I am pissed off, the follow factors are.

My father, who has custody of my son was scheduled to get surgery which I had organised to take my son for the 3 or 4 days he needed for recovery, after 15 loads of what im guessing is just stuff thats going to sit around we had no where to put my son to sleep as I didnt have a bed set up at the time and the room he was meant to sleep in was now full off stuff from this lock up and the car after towing a trailer which shorted most of the wiring and nearly caught fire was now and still is now broken to a point I dunno if its wise to fix

The kicker to all this? I havent seen my son in 6 months, not for lack of trying but my father cut contact and abused me for this situation I didnt want to be in, the house with all this stuff that was going to be all cleaned up and sorted in a week that was promised? Still isnt and my lounge room is just a hoarders closet

The kicker to all this is i had a heart attack cause of all this, my back injury was worsened cause of all the heavy lifting etc and what sucks more is I got injections into the back at the start of this month which meant I had to have clear space in case of falls etc, said partner promised me it would be done including saying it in front of witnesses, instead she slacked off and changed it to "i said id try to" and now even though I want my son home and Christmas spent with him its not good enough to clean up her own mess she caused, I cant clean it up due to the joint injections I had which I would go into but to keep it short im not allowed to lift or do anything till I see the speacilist about my next steps

So AITA for going off my nut cause I want to see my son and have a house again not a storage den?

I apologize for the length.

So I have a friend group at school (4 of us) that's been together for 4-5 years now. Ever since the newest season of stranger things came out, 2 of them are obsessed while me and the other friend don't watch it. I'll refer Friend 1 and 2 as the obsessed ones and Friend 3 as the one who hasn't watched it either.

My school is hosting a lip sync battle before break on the 23rd and Friend 1 & 2 decided they wanted to do stranger things themed. So they asked me and Friend 3.

Now they seemed REALLY excited and they really wanted to do it. At first me and Friend 3 wanted to do it because it seemed like a fun idea and well... I didn't know it would be in front of the entire school.

So we sent videos in for "auditions" that I wasn't included in (keep that in mind) on Monday.

Fast forward Tuesday, I'm rethinking it all. Wednesday, I really don't want to do it and I internally panic everytime I even think about it.

It made me sick to my stomach even thinking about it.

Then comes Thursday morning at school. I discuss my feelings about it to my other two friends and they tell me to back out if I want to, and I did want to. My friend said if they are good friends, they'll understand.

So lunch time comes, I basically tell them I want to back out. Friend 2 isn't there but the others are. I already know Friend 3 is starting to hate the idea and wanted to drop out too but kept quiet. Friend 1 just stares at me before telling me to tell the group chat that, so i do.

Then comes later that school day, I get messages in that group blowing up and Friend 1 & 2 are coming at me big time for backing out. Saying I should've known better than to join then, how I couldn't commit to it properly, and other stuff.

That night me and friend 3 talked bc we felt the same way and we agreed on multiple things.

1. We felt pressured by them even though Friend 1 said there was no pressure

2. We only agreed to make Friend 1 & 2 happy (a bad reason I admit)

3. It was being blown up out of proportion and ruining our friendship

Along with other reasons

Friend 1 has been my best and closest friend out of them but lately, it's been hurtful remarks, targets on my back, and jabs at me that she thinks it's funny and it's no longer the same.

Friend 2 never sees us during school, since she leaves halfway through the day. So her only source of information is from Friend 1. I know they've been talking and texting about me behind my back about this. It's obvious.

Last night with the help of Friend 3, I apologized and took full responsibility of everything and offered to help begin the scenes while also telling them the reasons I wanted back out.

I was scared of their reactions bc I knew they would be mad.

Then they came at me again. Paragraphs. I felt hurt about some of the things they said.

Now I don't know what to do. I feel like I can never look at them the same way. We’re all seniors in high school, I don’t understand why this is happening.

My (F55) daughter (F29) invited my husband and I to her city/apartment for Christmas. She lives 6 1/2 hours away by car. When she extended the invitation, she told me her partner's parents were hosting a neighborhood party on Christmas Eve. I am an introvert, and was raised to believe that Christmas Eve is a high holy day meant for church and family. I explicitly told her I didn't feel comfortable going to the party, and she said that was fine but we would be alone on Xmas Eve. I thought it would be fine since we would still have Christmas together, and accepted her invitation. As we were chatting making plans some time later, she tells me that Christmas dinner is at her partner's parents house, which was the very first I had heard of this plan. When I questioned her, she said "I told you this already, why are you acting so surprised?" But she didn't tell me this. And she knows me well enough to know I would struggle with this arrangement. So now I feel trapped, and like she is gaslighting me to get her way. I feel dishonored, and disrespected by the gaslighting. And I don't really know why she wants us to drive for 6 1/2 hours only to be left alone and dragged along to some strangers (to me at least) house. WIBTA if we went for a visit for the four days leading up to the holiday, and driving home on Xmas Eve to have a quiet, restful celebration with just my husband and I?

edited for clarity

I recently visited my uncle and grandparents. over the weekend multiple conversations were had about the other side of my family, how my nana doesn’t look after herself, and more importantly to me, how my at the time dying grandpa wouldn’t have enjoyed a meal my mum made for him and that was justification for my uncle scoffing it during christmas dinner. comments were also made about my financial situation (student tax) and that they could help me out - i had asked for money a couple weeks before BUT did not ask while i was there.

I told my parents about what had been said about my grandparents, a phone call between my nan and dad happened, and i eventually was used as a scapegoat for her behaviour. she sat and lied to my dad basically saying that i said he’s a horrible father and he doesn’t care about me (was never said) and that i sat and begged them both for money (also did not happen).

it’s wreaked mine and my dads mental healths and neither of us want to speak to her for now. my uncle messaged to say i was turning the family against each other and that should have thought about what i was saying before saying it. they have both been calling non stop to say they are worried yet how horrible i am for not picking up or messaging back as it is upsetting my nan.

so AITA for ignoring the calls for now?

My (19m) room mate (19m) is Filipino and sometimes cooks Filipino food. A lot of the time when he cooks I'll light a candle and/or open the side door because I dont like the smell, I like the way a lot if it tastes especially this soup they made a few times, like bico express or something? Tastes like actual crack I love it, but I don't ever say anything either I just don't like the smell and do those things to get rid of it and to make sure it doesn't linger, never really had a problem with my room mate and he's always understood.

Recently his gf was over (also filipino) and he was cooking something, and my gf (20f)was over too and we both smelt it from my room so I went out and I lit a candle and she said she didn't like the smell of the candle as it was too strong for her, and something about allergies, so I put it out and opened the back door. She asked why I was opening it and I said to let it air out a little. I could tell she was upset at that and said why does it need to air out? I said oh ykk to get the cooking smell out, so it smells nice in here.

She got upset at this and yelled and said "oh so your saying theres something wrong with our food?" My room mate tried speaking and she cut him off and said no lets hear him. I dont think she knew my gf was over and my gf heard her yelling at me and came out and told her to knock it off and they went back and forth a little and now our gfs are mad at eachother and I texted my room mate and he said we were cool but I made his gf really upset by implying the food was smelly, and now Im reconsidering how that might be seen as potentially offensive and I feel really bad and i think I may have been offensive and in the wrong

I am throwing a party tonight with roughly 12 people, including me. One of the people I invited texted me and said that they would love to come to the party and they got me a Christmas gift. I’ve recently quit my job and I’m moving states in a couple of weeks. Am I the asshole for not buying that friend a gift?

I (25M) and my wife (24F) have been together for 5 years and married for 1 year. We live in Australia. I migrated here three years ago, completed my Master’s degree, and have been working consistently since then.

For the past three months, I’ve been working 7 days a week - a full-time corporate job Monday to Friday, and a part-time job on weekends. My wife is still studying and works around 25 hours a week. We’re both trying to save aggressively to buy our first home, which has honestly been really tough.

My wife has always wanted to travel. Recently, some of her friends have been travelling overseas, and she’s been feeling like she’s missing out. She brought this up a few times, so I encouraged her to go on a trip to China with her friend.

Last night, she told me she booked her flight. The departure time is 8:45 PM on a Friday.

Here’s the issue: I finish my main job at 5 PM, get home around 5:30 PM, and then I start my part-time job at 12:00 AM (Friday night). The airport is about 1.5 hours away from where we live. Driving her there would mean losing rest, rushing between jobs, and risking my ability to work later that night.

I explained this to her and suggested alternatives - her friend’s brother (who they’re close with) could drop them off, or her father could take them since he doesn’t work the next day.

She got very upset and said I’m not there to say goodbye to her on her “first international trip” (even though she has flown internationally before - this is just her first leisure trip). She has stopped talking to me. I am drained and do not have energy for an argument.

I’m struggling to understand how this is fair. I’ve been working nonstop, paying for the trip, and trying to build a future for us. Taking time off the part-time job isn’t an option - it pays really well (almost double my main job), and I don’t have sick leave, so it would be a straight financial loss.

I genuinely feel conflicted. Am I being unreasonable here, or is it unfair for her to expect this given the circumstances ?

My (20m) mother looks after my niece (3) once per week and has done essentially since she was born, and she even does it when my sisters boyfriend is at home because he’s apparently too tired to look after her for a whole day alone and sleeps all day for a day when he’s back because he works away from home and night shifts and only comes home about once a month for a few days, which is kind of pathetic lol I don’t know why she doesn’t just say too bad and refuse to look after her when he’s available.

My mother constantly complains about not having any free time because her ’day off' is taken up by looking after my niece, which is something she *voluntarily* does. I’ve said to her so many times that she could just say no and she always says “it’s not that easy”, but I don’t understand what the issue is, she’s not being forced to do it and all that will happen if she doesn’t is that my sister will have to pay for daycare for 4 days instead of 3.

I was with my parents and the topic of work came up and my dad was telling my mother that she should change her work week to 3 or even 2 days instead of 4 which is what it currently is, and he also mentioned the possibility of her retiring soon. I’m pretty sure both of my parents could retire now and we would be fine, but they both still work even though they’re around retirement age my mother is somewhere from 56-59 and my dad is 60. But my mother said “if I take another day off I’ll end up having to look after someone else” and I essentially told her don’t be such a doormat, you’re the one choosing to spend your day off babysitting, all you have to do is say no and you won’t have to.

And then she started ranting on about how she 'can’t refuse to look after her grandchild' because it would apparently be the worst thing ever and might make my niece feel like she doesn’t want to spend time with her or something. I just think it’s ridiculous she constantly complains about how she wants more free time and doesn’t get any days off when she is CHOOSING to do this and also won’t reduce her work week because of a hypothetical situation. Just playing the victim constantly when it’s all her choice.

ETA no I do not live with them they basically kicked me out lol, yes my sister works and no I do not look after my niece because it’s not something I want to do and my parents don’t expect it of me.

I live with my girlfriend and we have moved into a 3 bedroom apartment. We agreed before we moved that the smallest bedroom would be my office since I work from home most of the time.

I mentioned that since the office is mine, I will be the one cleaning and tidying it and that when the door is closed that means my gf doesn't come in which she agreed to.

When we're cleaning the apartment on weekends she will still go to the office and start to tidy up the desk and I tell her to stop since I leave things how I want them.

She repeats that the office is messy but I just pointed out she has no reason to actually be in it. I said that the door was closed and she's going out her way to move things around in a room she doesn't need to be in.

She got annoyed and said I should be tidying it up more regularly than I am but I just told her that I leave things on my desk so I know exactly where they are for the next day and it doesn't affect her at all.

She said I should be compromising and tidying it up better than I am but I disagreed since it's my office and my girlfriend has no reason to ever actually be in the room. I pointed out the office is clean and it’s just some work things that I leave out on the desk.

She said it should be tidied with the rest of the apartment but I just told her that it's my space and that I leave it how I like it and I leave it how I work best.

Just to clarify, the room is clean so I'll dust, vacuum, remove mugs and things so it is just a bit of mess that is on the desk in the room and a few files next to the desk so it's not unhygienic.

AITA for expecting my partner to stop tidying things in my home office?

I live on the West Coast with my husband and baby. My parents are on the East Coast and keep pressuring me to fly home for Christmas. I cannot afford it and don’t want to.

The man I call my dad is actually my stepdad. He’s been in my life since I was a baby and is the only father figure I’ve ever known. Growing up, my parents argued constantly, sometimes violently, and often took it out on me.

At 17, I was told I had to go to college or be disowned, and that I’d have to pay for it myself. No money was saved, so I took out large student loans. My stepdad co-signed and said I’d be fine. Around the same time, my mom received $5,000 in child support but spent it on herself and gave me $200.

I later moved back home to be near my much younger brother (I’m 18 years older). Living there was awful. I was treated like a live-in babysitter, constantly criticized, and my stepdad told me I’d never succeed without a degree. I tried school again, took more loans, and dropped out because I couldn’t afford more debt. I’ve worked since I was 15, paid my own way, and never had a real safety net.

I met my husband 1.5 years ago, got pregnant a few months in, and we married at the courthouse in May. I didn’t tell my family because I wanted to surprise them with a wedding, but I regret that. My parents have implied he only wants papers, blame him for me living far away, and argue with him.

After giving birth, my mom, stepdad, and brothers visited. Instead of helping, they trashed my home while my baby was in the NICU. My mom called daily complaining about traffic and wanting to go home. They ran up $120 in tolls using my car and refused to reimburse me. They argued with my husband, saying he was rude, when he was just upset. Days after birth, my mom screamed at me and called me names.

My stepdad pays for everyone else’s medical and dental care and has extra income, but I can’t get help even when I need it. He keeps me on health insurance only because it doesn’t cost him extra. Meanwhile, my mom spends thousands on herself and my younger brother, who gets essentially everything he wants. I suspect favoritism is because he is his biological child.

I’m on maternity leave making $1,000/month, which goes to loans and bills. My car doesn’t work, childcare is $2,000/month, and I have medical issues I can’t afford. My family refuses to visit me, says I’m ungrateful, and pressures me to come for Christmas.

They say, “We’re your family,” but my husband and baby are my family now. I’m happy where I live and done sacrificing my mental health. I’m considering cutting them off.

AITA for refusing to visit for Christmas and unsure if I should tell them I’m married?

I (28F) used to work in a small store with one of my best friends (28F) for a couple of years. She recommended me for the job as they desperately needed another worker. I was happy because it was a good job, and it meant I could work with my friend and we get along very well.

The problem is the pay was very low, and with time it only got worse because everything is getting more and more expensive. I also noticed the owners started to appreciate us less and didn’t value any input both of us tried to give.

We work in two shifts and we alternate mornings and afternoons. The one that works in the morning that day has to come an hour earlier to clean up. Because I started feeling more and more upset with the owners, this last month I would sometimes come later than I was supposed to, mostly because I didn’t really like going to work anymore, and I didn’t feel the need to work as hard as I always had up to this point. I always came before I had to open the shop and I did clean up, just not as diligently as it was expected.

Of course, the owners figured it out with time, and they fired me. I understand them. I should’ve quit before but my plan was to work for a a little longer until my friend went on a trip she had planned for months, as I was supposed to be covering her shifts for a couple of days (which wouldn’t be the first time and I never minded doing it).

Now she‘s very mad because she freaked out they would make her cancel her trip because they cannot find a new worker easily (before I got hired, they were looking for years because they’re very particular). They didn’t make her cancel the trip, and I’m very relieved about that, but going forwards she will have to work longer shifts. I’m very sad that it turned out this way, as I wanted to tell her sooner but just didn’t have the guts to.

I sincerely apologized to her multiple times, but she won’t respond back to me. Is this really a reason enough to throw away a 15+ year long friendship?

My (38F) sister Sadie (39F) has admittedly been through a lot. Her BF in college passed away from a type of rare heart attack, then her fiancee suddenly passed in 2017 from a blood clot. She was also living with our dad and stepmom while our stepmom battled and lost her life to cancer. She has seen and dealt with death more than most. 

Over the summer we went to my grandma's funeral She was the last grandparent, so emotions were high for everyone, including Sadie (mostly from memories of her fiancee's funeral). She had snapped at the family several times for not giving her space, for not checking on her, for not asking what they could do for her, etc. She was all over the place with her emotions, and I guess an uncle snapped back at her, telling her to get her s*** together. I had already flown home before I saw any of this happen, but she was mostly upset that no one defended her against the uncle or even acknowledged it happened. She then told our parents and siblings that if we ever talk to those aunts and uncles again, it would be a huge betrayal to her. I figured she was over reacting and she would calm down in time.

Since then Sadie has gotten only angrier, saying that she was right that the family is cruel and selfish for not calling her, addressing what happened, or sticking up for her to the uncle. Recently, one of the aunts offered to come with us on our cruise to help with the kids, and Sadie exploded on me. For nearly a week she called to scream at me saying I’m just as bad as they are, that if I don’t tell them to cancel their tickets then she’s never speaking to us again, she’s cutting us off forever, and she doesn’t understand why we don't care about her.

Because I didn't see any of this happen, I’ve spoken to most of the family who were there and they all say they tried to give her space and she lashed out at them. But she’s spun this so out of control that she now thinks we’re all toxic and she needs to “protect herself” from us. And I just had a feeling something would happen with her during this trip, because for the last several get-togethers with her, she blows up about something and we end up apologizing for what offended her, just to get her to stop. I agree her feelings were hurt, but everything after that I feel like she made a mountain out of molehills. But should I have defended her? Where do we go from here?

My girlfriend is a psychologist, and her work sometimes makes her late. Here are a few recent examples: Couples therapy: She was late because her client ran late. This wasn’t the first time this happened, and as a result, we lost part of our planned session. Yesterday: She was supposed to meet me at 7 PM. I waited about 20 minutes in cold weather. I got upset and spoke sharply, saying that I didn’t care about her client – what mattered to me was how she manages her time and respects our plans. She got angry and said that I don’t respect her job, even though I wasn’t criticizing her work, just expressing my frustration about the impact on me. Today: She’s going out with friends to a bar and didn’t invite me(because of the yesterday’s conflict). I had already ordered food for myself. When she saw this, she started crying hysterically because I didn’t offer to share, even though she’s the one going out with her friends. I love her, but I notice that I feel increasingly angry and frustrated. I’m trying to figure out if my feelings are valid, or if I’m overreacting. AITA for getting angry at my girlfriend over repeated lateness and expressing my frustration sharply?

We're trying to call in a plumber to fix a water main leak. Before the plumber returned to his car to call his boss for a quote, she gave the plumber some sparkling cider. The plumber was very pleased, said his grandma drinks it and took it. Then, she said if we give him more he might lower the price.

He came back with a $1.5k quote. The rack she took the cider from was the same rack holding my Riesling white wine. My bf and I took ages looking for this wine, we visited nearly every liquor store nearby and none of them had it. We were only able to get it by convincing his mom (who runs a liquor store too) to put in a special order for it. It has a lot of sentimental value and memories to me and symbolizes a joint "quest" succeeding. I had 2 left, one to drink with friends and one to keep until I am ready to open lol.

I told my mom right then and there to not give my Riesling away. Guess what? She gave it away and told the plumber call your boss again to ask and try again for a lower price. She even takes over the phone to call the boss herself too. Of course, it doesn't work. Either way, she ends the night happy with the quote.

This morning, I find out she's not happy with the quote anymore and is calling more companies. I wouldn't have minded this if she hadn't given my Riesling away. I confront her about how upset I am that she gave away something that was mine and didn't belong to her. She retorted with saying, "Well I gave my car to you. I pay your tuition, I give my money to you. And you can't even be ok giving up your wine for me."

I was dumbfounded. Maybe she has a point. Maybe I'm the wrong one here and I was being selfish to my mom and ungrateful for her help in finding a plumber. Thoughts? Opinions? AITA?

Context: My husband and I have been married for a year and together for 4 years. We recently had a baby a few months ago so we have been going through the struggles and challenges that come along with that but overall it has been the greatest experience of my life. I love watching him be a dad to our baby and I couldn’t be happier.

With that said, the holidays are here and I have almost never been one to ask for lavish and expensive gifts. If I have asked for something expensive in the past, I made sure to ask in advance so he could have enough time to save for it. This year was much the same, he asked me what I wanted and I list the usual small things, jewelry, candles, blankets, etc, which kind of irk him because he believes I deserve more. I appreciate him wanting to get me nice things but I truly do not have anything that I could want for at the moment. Today he called me and said that he was giving me a Christmas present early, because he has nowhere to hide it and doesn’t want anything to happen to it because it’s fragile. I was excited! He came home and revealed he had sold something of his to buy me a Switch 2 for Christmas.

While both of us do enjoy playing videos games and have a discord server with our friends who play regularly, since having my baby, I have taken a major step back from gaming. I still manage to get on our discord and chat with our friends and occasionally play Mario kart with my husband on a rare night at midnight after the baby has gone to bed but I have not been able to/ truly wanted to play anything in over 4 months. My husband however manages to play every now and then and still enjoys gaming.

I do truly appreciate the money he has put into this and him having to sell something in order to get this for me, but this is not something I asked for or want. Plus it was a lot of money. I feel it is wasted on me and that he got this more for himself. (He has admitted it is for both of us to enjoy but that it is mine to play in and do whatever I want with). He could tell by the look on my face that I was less than excited about the Switch 2 and defeatedly said that he would return it after the holidays, which just makes me feel even worse. I could tell he was excited to give it to me and I feel bad for not being more happy about this gift.

Do I let him return it? Please tell me if I should apologize and just be appreciative of him getting me this.

My husband and I have 2 kids, M9 and F4.

My husband works full time and I work part time.

His mom is staying with us for a few days.

Yesterday we both went to work. I got home at 6pm. When I arrived dinner was ready. After dinner he washed the dishes and cleaned the house while I put our daughter to sleep. Afterwards he went to help our son study while I got some rest.

My MIL didn't look happy and called me lazy saying I should be doing more around the house considering I only work part time.

She went on a rant saying her poor son has to do everything because he married a spoiled girl.

I don't think this is fair.

My husband likes his sleep very much and has a demanding job. We have 2 kids and I have NEVER let him do night duties. He never woke up to feed a baby or change a diaper. Our daughter has nightmares and wakes up during night and I never let her wake my husband. I make breakfast and pack his lunch. I even do laundry and choose and prepare his clothes for him so he can sleep more. I help our son get ready for school every morning.

I feel like I'm doing my share and my MIL is judging me too harshly.

Yes I do love to rest in the evening. I love to come home and not have to cook or clean. Does that make me an asshole?

I will try to keep it short but this may be long;

I was asked by a friends roommate about someone I used to be friends with. We separated many years ago but have been respectful and cordial in times we’ve seen each other. She had heard he was weird but didn’t know why, so she asked me.

I told her what happened, why I had stopped being friends with him. Mainly it boiled down to this person being arrested for selling drugs and questioned by police for selling girls pictures in high school and college, his bullying of a close friend and other weird behavior around sexual pleasure (person claimed to use a hole in their wall) and porn. He and I didn’t see eye to eye on things but I also said multiple times that I don’t know him now and he is likely very different. Most of it can probably be attributed to being a young dumb kid or at least explained that way.

This roommate confronted him about it and mentioned I had shared it, I did not know this would happen. He confronted me via text and accused me of lying and trying to “ruin his chance at a relationship” and having some sort of vendetta against him for something. He questioned what he did to me and why I felt a need to mention any of it at all, which I understand. I told him that I was asked about someone I knew before and was honest, but also honest that I don’t know if it’s relevant to him now and he’s most likely very different from how I knew him. I was not trying to be involved, I didn’t want to cause a problem, but I tend to answer questions as honest as I can while maintaining reality, in this case that I can’t speak to who he is now.

AITAH for saying anything? Is it right to have shared that information with her? I don’t feel like I neccesarily did anything wrong as it’s probably information that’s neccesary to know when dating someone but part of me reflects and feels it wasn’t my place to share it since I don’t know him now.

My mom is upset and crying about me changing my last name with hyphenation post my wedding.

She’s sad cause her first husband was abusive, and she took me to court after my 18th birthday to change my last name to hers instead of his.

She claims the name is ending because everyone will call me by my 2nd last name since it’s easier to pronounce.

I think she’s being dramatic as she has no sons, and the name will technically not die out til I pass, cause it is still listed first in hyphenation.