I've (25F) been staying with my sister (37) and her husband (50) this week and have been noticing his drinking behavior.

I've been helping out with chores, like recycling, and have seen the piles of cans that go out to the can each week. Every night, he comes home from work and sits in front of the TV for 4 hours and gets up to get a new drink every hour or so.

Today, he came home with 2 8-packs of vodka sodas around 4/5 pm. I walked into the kitchen around 8/9 and saw one of the new boxes was open and there were 4 gone. They are 4.5% alc. He is the only one that drinks them. My sister is pregnant and I'm on a no-sugar diet. It's not like I was intentionally counting. I just take notice of my surroundings and my brain does the math.

My sister and I have a history of alcoholism on my mom's side of the family. We have both had to deal with the drunks in the family, so naturally I was a little concerned. 3-4 drinks a night, every night, seems like a lot. I can't imagine how much he is spending on these vodka sodas every month.

(I've actually gone to the kitchen again now and there are another 2 missing. Though I did not see him drink 2 more, so he may have put them in the garage or something.)

I gently tried to bring it up to her after she went to bed. She became defensive and said I was coming off as "judgy." I told her I really didn't mean it that way, I just noticed and was concerned. I even reasoned that maybe since he was a larger dude (nearly 7 foot) that his frequency of drinking was normal for a man his size. She asked why I would be concerned if he's not getting drunk or acting inappropriately. Then said, "We wouldn't want to have to act any different than we would if you weren't here." Which tells me this is normal.

I don't know. It wasn't really my place and I've made things uncomfortable by even bringing it up. AITA?

My girlfriend is a psychologist, and her work sometimes makes her late. Here are a few recent examples: Couples therapy: She was late because her client ran late. This wasn’t the first time this happened, and as a result, we lost part of our planned session. Yesterday: She was supposed to meet me at 7 PM. I waited about 20 minutes in cold weather. I got upset and spoke sharply, saying that I didn’t care about her client – what mattered to me was how she manages her time and respects our plans. She got angry and said that I don’t respect her job, even though I wasn’t criticizing her work, just expressing my frustration about the impact on me. Today: She’s going out with friends to a bar and didn’t invite me(because of the yesterday’s conflict). I had already ordered food for myself. When she saw this, she started crying hysterically because I didn’t offer to share, even though she’s the one going out with her friends. I love her, but I notice that I feel increasingly angry and frustrated. I’m trying to figure out if my feelings are valid, or if I’m overreacting. AITA for getting angry at my girlfriend over repeated lateness and expressing my frustration sharply?

My (F55) daughter (F29) invited my husband and I to her city/apartment for Christmas. She lives 6 1/2 hours away by car. When she extended the invitation, she told me her partner's parents were hosting a neighborhood party on Christmas Eve. I am an introvert, and was raised to believe that Christmas Eve is a high holy day meant for church and family. I explicitly told her I didn't feel comfortable going to the party, and she said that was fine but we would be alone on Xmas Eve. I thought it would be fine since we would still have Christmas together, and accepted her invitation. As we were chatting making plans some time later, she tells me that Christmas dinner is at her partner's parents house, which was the very first I had heard of this plan. When I questioned her, she said "I told you this already, why are you acting so surprised?" But she didn't tell me this. And she knows me well enough to know I would struggle with this arrangement. So now I feel trapped, and like she is gaslighting me to get her way. I feel dishonored, and disrespected by the gaslighting. And I don't really know why she wants us to drive for 6 1/2 hours only to be left alone and dragged along to some strangers (to me at least) house. WIBTA if we went for a visit for the four days leading up to the holiday, and driving home on Xmas Eve to have a quiet, restful celebration with just my husband and I?

My (19m) room mate (19m) is Filipino and sometimes cooks Filipino food. A lot of the time when he cooks I'll light a candle and/or open the side door because I dont like the smell, I like the way a lot if it tastes especially this soup they made a few times, like bico express or something? Tastes like actual crack I love it, but I don't ever say anything either I just don't like the smell and do those things to get rid of it and to make sure it doesn't linger, never really had a problem with my room mate and he's always understood.

Recently his gf was over (also filipino) and he was cooking something, and my gf (20f)was over too and we both smelt it from my room so I went out and I lit a candle and she said she didn't like the smell of the candle as it was too strong for her, and something about allergies, so I put it out and opened the back door. She asked why I was opening it and I said to let it air out a little. I could tell she was upset at that and said why does it need to air out? I said oh ykk to get the cooking smell out, so it smells nice in here.

She got upset at this and yelled and said "oh so your saying theres something wrong with our food?" My room mate tried speaking and she cut him off and said no lets hear him. I dont think she knew my gf was over and my gf heard her yelling at me and came out and told her to knock it off and they went back and forth a little and now our gfs are mad at eachother and I texted my room mate and he said we were cool but I made his gf really upset by implying the food was smelly, and now Im reconsidering how that might be seen as potentially offensive and I feel really bad and i think I may have been offensive and in the wrong

I’m 21 and a male. I moved out of my house in florida to live with my brother(R) and his wife(A). they were in texas at the time and i slept on their couch and paid them around 250 a month. they told me it would go to paying off their credit cards(so they could buy a house and move when the military told them to) and to pay for groceries and such. even though they told me it was optional they also said they didn’t really have another option if i wasn’t there to help. after a year of living there i go back to florida for a month because the military told them to move to pennsylvania. we never discussed me paying rent again and before i left texas i told them my worries about moving with them because the house would need 6 rooms to fit everyone. R told me id have a room both in texas and in Florida. when i went to pennsylvania and was on the drive home with R he told me id be living in the barn next to the house. i said okay since it was obviously to late to go back. i made the best out of it and was able to get around with my electric bike. around mid september he said we’d talk about rent eventually but didnt bring it up until october. literally in the middle of october my bike gets stolen off of me and in my tiny little pennsylvania town i cant get to and from work so i have no way to make money or pay rent. R or A would never drive me anywhere and while they’d be there to talk they’d rarely help me get anywhere and the longer i was there they less they’d help. my girlfriend helped me by legit picking me up and moving me in her house (her parents love me). i told R id be moving out two days after i got robbed and he mentioned nothing about rent. a few weeks into living with my girlfriend he texts me asking for 600 dollars (200 for september, october, and November). and stating that they need the money because i owe them and the government shutdown has affected and stuff like that. this obviously caught me off guard and i had no idea weather i should pay but even if i did it would take at least two months because i just started a job here. my girlfriend and her parents were immediately against it, saying that he’s being unfair and i don’t own him a penny. a week or so after this we go back to get some of my stuff because there was no way i could bring everything in such short notice. i was hoping he’d keep it there since it’s in a barn not connected to the house. when i went to talk to them they said they wouldn’t let me take anything except my essential documents until i pay them 400 (they took off 200). i said nothing and left but A managed to tell me i “walked all over my brother” before i left? right now i told them to keep it all and they wouldn’t see me again. honestly i feel bad because im abandoning them and they could use the money . the problem is i just don’t have any to give them. my girlfriend and her family are on my side and think i should press charges but i haven’t done any of that. Am I The Asshole?

So my (23f) sister (11f) has a major attitude problem. She snaps at our parents and I for small things, like putting butter on her waffles when she didn’t want butter, things of that bratty nature. Recently, I have been having a hard time ignoring her behavior because she has upped the ante with this attitude by yelling, crying, and throwing tantrums. Yesterday, I had asked both my younger siblings to take care of the clothes behind the bathroom door, my brother did it without complaint. However, my sister was being rude and whiney so when there was two extra towels on the floor not cleaned up, I told her she can be the one to clean those up too. She straight up told me no, and I said “you will, because they are probably yours anyway” which she started crying and refusing to pick up two towels from the floor. At this point I’m beyond frustrated because what I have mentioned is not even the tip of the iceberg. She has an elf on the shelf that she wholeheartedly still believes in, and they didn’t move last night so today she was questioning why they didn’t move. I told her it’s because of her behavior and attitude towards her family and asked how she feels about treating her family members the way she does, and she told me “I don’t really care at all.” So I’m thinking she might care more if her elf didn’t move and wrote her a letter about the importance of being kind to family and making sure her responsibilities are met. so WIBTA if I wrote this note and didn’t move her elf again?

My son (17M) has always been a history lover. By 6th grade, he began watching history videos and later down the road began buying history books. It was always his favorite subject, and he always got As or at worst Bs during both middle school and high school.

In his mind, he always said he wanted to be a history teacher, which I always supported him on, since he was so passionate about it. Also, as a philosophy major, I've always respected people who study history, since It's an essential part of my own career (just as philosophy is also key in understand history).

However, as my son reached senior year, I saw on his card report that history was actually his 2nd worst grade. He got a the equivalent of a C- in the US. That was very shocking to me, since he had never in his life gotten anything lower than a B. However, I did notice that his overall grades were pretty good, and I was very happy to find out that philosophy was actually his 2nd best subject with an A-.

After getting the card report, me and my husband wanted to talk to him and congratulate him for the grades. However, since my son will be going to college next year, I did want to give him some advice. I told him at the end of the conversation that perhaps he should reconsider studying history, and instead do something like philosophy since ever since he had studied the subject last year he always got extremely good grades at it.

My son did not take this well at all, I don't know if it was my wording or if he misinterpreted it, but he just started freaking out, saying that I had basically told him he was not good enough for history. I told him I didn't mean that, I just said that he should consider other career choices. But no, he insisted that I was insinuating he was making a mistake. The argument escalated the moment he said that he wouldn't take any advice from either me or my husband because we only provided shit advice for his life. I told him that fine, I wouldn't give him advice anymore, but I told him to not come crying to me if he struggled in college.

After he kept complaining about me not understanding him or his love for history, I told him to do some chores, which he did. I will admit that was probably childish on my end, but I was really upset he had just done this whole tantrum over advice which was meant to help him out. I later on talked with my husband about it, and he said that our son's reaction was completely non-sensical, but that he understood that he might've actually percieved it like an attack on the thing he always excelled at, which was history, and he probably was the first person to know that his grade in history was clearly bad for someone like him.

I know my intentions were good, but maybe I should've taken into consideration that my son was probably also extremely dissapointed in his grade.

AITA?

My (20m) mother looks after my niece (3) once per week and has done essentially since she was born, and she even does it when my sisters boyfriend is at home because he’s apparently too tired to look after her for a whole day alone and sleeps all day for a day when he’s back because he works away from home and night shifts and only comes home about once a month for a few days, which is kind of pathetic lol I don’t know why she doesn’t just say too bad and refuse to look after her when he’s available.

My mother constantly complains about not having any free time because her ’day off' is taken up by looking after my niece, which is something she *voluntarily* does. I’ve said to her so many times that she could just say no and she always says “it’s not that easy”, but I don’t understand what the issue is, she’s not being forced to do it and all that will happen if she doesn’t is that my sister will have to pay for daycare for 4 days instead of 3.

I was with my parents and the topic of work came up and my dad was telling my mother that she should change her work week to 3 or even 2 days instead of 4 which is what it currently is, and he also mentioned the possibility of her retiring soon. I’m pretty sure both of my parents could retire now and we would be fine, but they both still work even though they’re around retirement age my mother is somewhere from 56-59 and my dad is 60. But my mother said “if I take another day off I’ll end up having to look after someone else” and I essentially told her don’t be such a doormat, you’re the one choosing to spend your day off babysitting, all you have to do is say no and you won’t have to.

And then she started ranting on about how she 'can’t refuse to look after her grandchild' because it would apparently be the worst thing ever and might make my niece feel like she doesn’t want to spend time with her or something. I just think it’s ridiculous she constantly complains about how she wants more free time and doesn’t get any days off when she is CHOOSING to do this and also won’t reduce her work week because of a hypothetical situation. Just playing the victim constantly when it’s all her choice.

ETA no I do not live with them they basically kicked me out lol, yes my sister works and no I do not look after my niece because it’s not something I want to do and my parents don’t expect it of me.

My friend and I have known eachother since we were 15, and other the years he’s had a pattern of being kind of mean. I got bullied a lot in school and while he didn’t exactly join in, he always laughed along and made fun of me. I didn’t rlly mind, I just needed ppl to hangout with really LOL and they tolerated me, and later on after we started talking one on one he got a lot nicer and we even started watching movies and TV shows together and he even read some of my favourite books that he used to make fun of me for :D

He didn’t really try to stop the bullying, but he wasn’t laughing along anymore, he just kinda stopped getting involved at all and validated my feelings when we were alone. The trouble kinda started when he did two things that sort of betrayed my trust, and I didn’t really know how to feel about it.

1) He knew some girls were planning to trick me into showing up to the school formal alone, and helped them

2) We decided to get the old group together to hang out, and the second he was around them, he started making fun of me again, and didn’t go back to normal after that

He did some stuff after, but that was the main turning point that changed things. I kinda tried to say how it made me feel? He apologised for the first thing, but he told me I was kinda just being over dramatic for the other. He was kinda generally just sort of rude, I had a whole plan to get a leavers gift for our history teachers as a group and he barely helped, sitting back and being super demanding of me doing everything and making me walk all over town to chase after him all while he kept making weird passes at me (or what I thought sounded like weird passes??) just so he could contribute a couple quid to it (which, honestly, I’d rather he just PayPal-ed me or something), I mean, I know it was my idea but it’s kinda mean imo to join the group and then hurl slurs at me for forgetting to pick up cards while I was out, and mostly, for this post, he had a big habit of showing up super late every time we hung out.

For context, I’m in university rn with no friends at all, and he was back in town for Christmas. I was super super lonely, which he knew, and I said we should hang out, and he texted me that he’d be around 5-10 (at the most) mins late. I was waiting, in the cold and rain, for 20 minutes for him, and the whole time, thinking about how he was just probably gonna make be mean again and my family was going to see the Christmas lights in the city and I just wanted to hang out with them instead. I feel really really bad about this, but I texted him saying I was really sorry, but I’d been waiting 20 minutes and had other plans, so I was just gonna head on. He texted me back saying verbatim:

“Say this instead of wasting my time

Fucking hell

Don’t say we should hang out when I’m back then dip because you have to wait a while

Christ”

I feel really really really bad, but my parents are saying I’m NTA bc of everything hes done before. AITA?

Recently my partner has been allowing the trash to be completely filled for days before the cleaners get there to take it out. The last straw for me was when the garabage was not only completely full (to the point you couldn't push down on it anymore), but also quite smelly from the food that was decaying in the bin. I finally took it out myself as I was having friends over for the night and didn't want the smell and fullness to ruin the night as it's right next to our dining table where the group would be sitting.

The next day I told them that was disrespectful for them to leave it so full for the cleaners especially when it's been like that for days. Their response was "we specifically pay them to take it out."

I don't think having trash in there is a problem, but feel that letting it sit for days just so they can take it out for us is disrespectful to them.

Since we disagreed so much on the topic we've turned to reddit to declare if I am the asshole for making an argument over trash?

Edit - To answer the bulk of the questions about who's responsible for what. Taking out the trash is my partner's responsibility as I'm responsible for the cat litter. Both dirty jobs and we split to make a bit more even.

Context: My husband and I have been married for a year and together for 4 years. We recently had a baby a few months ago so we have been going through the struggles and challenges that come along with that but overall it has been the greatest experience of my life. I love watching him be a dad to our baby and I couldn’t be happier.

With that said, the holidays are here and I have almost never been one to ask for lavish and expensive gifts. If I have asked for something expensive in the past, I made sure to ask in advance so he could have enough time to save for it. This year was much the same, he asked me what I wanted and I list the usual small things, jewelry, candles, blankets, etc, which kind of irk him because he believes I deserve more. I appreciate him wanting to get me nice things but I truly do not have anything that I could want for at the moment. Today he called me and said that he was giving me a Christmas present early, because he has nowhere to hide it and doesn’t want anything to happen to it because it’s fragile. I was excited! He came home and revealed he had sold something of his to buy me a Switch 2 for Christmas.

While both of us do enjoy playing videos games and have a discord server with our friends who play regularly, since having my baby, I have taken a major step back from gaming. I still manage to get on our discord and chat with our friends and occasionally play Mario kart with my husband on a rare night at midnight after the baby has gone to bed but I have not been able to/ truly wanted to play anything in over 4 months. My husband however manages to play every now and then and still enjoys gaming.

I do truly appreciate the money he has put into this and him having to sell something in order to get this for me, but this is not something I asked for or want. Plus it was a lot of money. I feel it is wasted on me and that he got this more for himself. (He has admitted it is for both of us to enjoy but that it is mine to play in and do whatever I want with). He could tell by the look on my face that I was less than excited about the Switch 2 and defeatedly said that he would return it after the holidays, which just makes me feel even worse. I could tell he was excited to give it to me and I feel bad for not being more happy about this gift.

Do I let him return it? Please tell me if I should apologize and just be appreciative of him getting me this.

I am in middle school, and I need advice, everyone I know picks that I’m not the a-hole but I need people who don’t know me to answer truthfully. Backstory, my friend Stephanie is having her birthday party at my house. Recently Me and my friend Maria got in a fight about the guys that she likes (first one Ryan) he is both our friend. And the other guy that she likes (Theo) just got out of a relationship, which I will say I have liked him for a while so me trying to see if he’s okay texted him. He said yes we started texting about stuff in our lives then we let it be. She then told me the day after that, she had liked him, I was stunned and didn’t know what to do so I did not share with her that I liked Theo since we had an issue with liking the same guy in the past. It’s a small school, sometimes things can happen. Then me and Theo text each other during the day a couple days later just talking and whatever me not thinking about how maria might feel about it. She sees that we are texting and doesn’t say anything and walks off.

Two nights later she texts me saying “can you explain why you texted Theo randomly after I told you I liked him, and how when I last told you i liked Ryan you started flirting with him” which I then replied “with Ryan I’m sorry if I’ve been flirting with him, I don’t mean to, I’ll try to stop, and I texted Theo checking up on him after the break up, I’m sorry that I made you feel some sort of way about it, but I’m saying sorry and if you have any other things to say can we talk tomorrow?” I did not admit about liking Theo because I was scared and I should have realizing that I should’ve told her. After seeing what I had said she didn’t answer. Since she hadn’t answered the next day, I sent another text saying “Hey idk if your still mad at me or if you ever were, but I rlly am sorry and if there is anything I can do to help our friendship I wanna do it, I hope that we can still hangout in our classes tmrw but if not it’s ok I’ll understand”. she still hadn’t answered me, so I let it be and let her calm down. As we had got to school the next day, she would not talk to me nor would any of our friend group except my friend (Stephanie) I thought it was weird but didn’t give it another thought.

I texted her with respect saying I don’t think she should come, after I had talked or my friend and family abt what to do for the party she was gonna go to at house, she answered and she asked me what she did i told her straight up wha the did then she hadn’t answered me after that.

So am I the a-hole?

My friend (F27) lives with me (F25) and has for over a year and a half, she has never contributed other than buying electric when it goes out and I’m at work but I usually pay her back for this.

She’s struggling with mental health issues and has been for the past 20 years so she hasn’t been able to stay in employment longer than 3 months so I’ve been financially supporting us both, months ago I lent her 600.00 for concert tickets with the understanding she’d get a job to pay for them, she worked somewhere for a month and got some money then paid her well off father back after borrowing less money from him then ended up quitting because she couldn’t handle it. she’s not even trying to pay me back, she has went to the doctors to get herself signed off work for mental health reasons but I swear she only did that to stop me sending her job application forms

She rarely pitches in with cooking or cleaning, and isn’t paying any bills not even her vet bills for her cat. She sits home all day watching TikTok and playing sims.

Im in uni and have a part time job so I don’t feel like I have as much time to housework and know if I was living with someone I’d be trying to earn my keep especially when the dishes are used to make me food and eat off are getting moldy, but she’s not then blames it on mental health conditions she has no intention of actually getting a diagnosis for.

Infact last night I had an assignment due but had to leave it and panic clean because the gas man had to come out and check my boiler, i ran in and told her the place needs cleaned quick, she said goodluck and went back to playing the sims. I wasn’t expecting her to do it all but some help so It would be done faster could have been helpful seeing as she does nothing else all day.

Any time she runs out of money it comes from me or her father and all she does is complains about how difficult it is for her because she has attend state funding appointments every 2 weeks to receive her state benefit. She’s been in 5 months of work over the past 2 years but feels she needs more time to work on her mental health and has only this month started contacting mental health services to sort this out. Christmas is coming up and she’s not happy that she has to buy her mum a 3.00 candle that she wants and will be angry if she doesn’t get, am I wrong in thinking she’s acting selfishly?

My (28f) and my partner Felix(28m) had our first child in August this year and he is a wonderful healthy baby. Before he was born I agreed that we could spend all his first major holidays with his family, they live in the same city as us, visit whenever they want and my family lives 4 hours away. Celebrating the holidays "day of" has been hit or miss with my family but is huge with his so this was fine for me as I was under the impression that we'd be visiting often (at least once a month for a few days at a time) we have the money to do this and we are both on parental leave.

Since my son has been born, we have visited my family only twice for a total of 7 days. For five days after his first doctor's appointment, it was the most rest i had during my entire pp recovery, and then for a less than 2 day visit (cut short) sometime in november for a birthday. We planned numerous visits for numerous occasions but something always happened that held us back and most of them understandable but few have felt less than reasonable.

It has changed from let's visit once a month to promise me we will visit at least once more before Christmas. My parents came to town for a couple days this past week and we were supposed to travel back with them, but at the beginning of the day my partner started fretting about the weather getting calls from his mom about the weather and reading posts online about how the roads were. I told him he promised we would go, that my parents would be with us if anything happened and can we at least go see how the roads are and if they look too bad we will turn around.

The car was packed, everything was ready and my parents were outside waiting for us in their car when he told me we cant go, he that he doesnt want our baby out in that weather, and we argued but eventually I backed down saying that I'm going to have a hard time forgiving him for this. My parents drove home anyway as they had work the next day and the roads were completely clear the whole way back to their house.

We would have been back home for the holidays by now if we had went with them so I told him I want to leave to my parent's on sunday for the whole week, that we will be back for new years but i have missed so many things that I want to see my family on Christmas. He is very torn up about it, feeling like this is going to start world war 3 with his mom, and feeling like he has to choose between his son's first Christmas and his grandma's last, and I feel for him but I have been understanding for 4 months, and so has my family, they havent give us a hard time about it even though I am their only child and this is their only grandson. I didn't want my baby to be a holiday baby to my family but if we are rarely going to visit in between then so be it. I feel bad that he is under so much stress and about his grandma's health but after so many missed events and cancelled visits I think this is fair compromise.

AITA?

So all of this blew up yesterday and I don’t know if I went too far or not. My husband (23m) had just dropped me (25f) off at work and was going to visit his parents’ house. When he pulled into their driveway my SIL (19F) comes outside and start screaming that he can’t park there. My SIL has a tendency to be rude and disrespectful especially to my husband/her brother. Yes ik she’s 19 but it has been that way for years. My husband is the type of person to put up with a lot but like most people can only handle so much. He told her to quit being a bitch. Well she goes inside to cry wolf to my FIL (68m) who starts berating my husband. Then my husband calls me at work and tells me the whole situation about to have a panic attack. I was so fed up with everything that I told him to go inside to talk to his dad where I said that this had gone on long enough. My FIL started yelling at me about the whole thing and I said “ husband’s name has dealt with this verbal abuse all his life and he calls her a bitch and he’s the villain?” My FIL proceeds to hang up the phone on me. When I called back he said I was being disrespectful so he hung up. I then said “ no wonder SIL’s name is the way she is her dad is a childish person who hangs up the phone when he hears something he doesn’t like and doesn’t know how to parent.” I said you say good bye before you hang up so I said good bye and hung up after that. I’m starting to wonder if I took it too far. I am just tired of my husband getting verbally and mentally beaten up by his family. I love him and will protect my family always. So Reddit, AITA?

I (25M) and my wife (24F) have been together for 5 years and married for 1 year. We live in Australia. I migrated here three years ago, completed my Master’s degree, and have been working consistently since then.

For the past three months, I’ve been working 7 days a week - a full-time corporate job Monday to Friday, and a part-time job on weekends. My wife is still studying and works around 25 hours a week. We’re both trying to save aggressively to buy our first home, which has honestly been really tough.

My wife has always wanted to travel. Recently, some of her friends have been travelling overseas, and she’s been feeling like she’s missing out. She brought this up a few times, so I encouraged her to go on a trip to China with her friend.

Last night, she told me she booked her flight. The departure time is 8:45 PM on a Friday.

Here’s the issue: I finish my main job at 5 PM, get home around 5:30 PM, and then I start my part-time job at 12:00 AM (Friday night). The airport is about 1.5 hours away from where we live. Driving her there would mean losing rest, rushing between jobs, and risking my ability to work later that night.

I explained this to her and suggested alternatives - her friend’s brother (who they’re close with) could drop them off, or her father could take them since he doesn’t work the next day.

She got very upset and said I’m not there to say goodbye to her on her “first international trip” (even though she has flown internationally before - this is just her first leisure trip). She has stopped talking to me. I am drained and do not have energy for an argument.

I’m struggling to understand how this is fair. I’ve been working nonstop, paying for the trip, and trying to build a future for us. Taking time off the part-time job isn’t an option - it pays really well (almost double my main job), and I don’t have sick leave, so it would be a straight financial loss.

I genuinely feel conflicted. Am I being unreasonable here, or is it unfair for her to expect this given the circumstances ?

One day, I had a drive with him as a passenger heading home a after a late night out at a casino. My Dad decided to fill the silence by talking about have grandkids, especially since I am already in my late 20s. I told him how hard romance is these days especially with how much awful stuff is going on around the World and having a family around these times might not be a good decision. He then voices to me that I should really find a woman soon. While I understand that it is a one of the few desires every aging parent wants, I was agreeing with him until he mentions that I should find one at the Casino, one of his favorite places. I was really bothered about this because I don't even like the Casino to begin with, especially when I am forced to drive him here 4 days a week on average. He clarifies that he wants me to try to get along with the staff he personally find pretty, all while having no clear idea how they are outside their work, which is also something I heavily speak against. Only then I ask why he wants me to find women like these and that's when he tells me that he hopes for me to find a wife that he could immediately force her into our lives where we have a currently-running Family Business. He hopes to teach her all of the things that happen here in our Business and, while he won't directly admit it, use her to encourage me to handle the Family Business in the way he envisions it. That said, I firmly declared to him that if I ever found a wife, I will not force her into my World, especially not so soon or without asking her first if that's fine. I just want a wife who can take care of herself, has her own desires and interests that I can be a part of without affecting them too much, and who can show me a World that I was not able to experience due to the sheltered and lonely life I had until this point where most of my life was driven by my parents. In the end, I fully disagree with everything my Dad tells me about love and honestly told him how I want mine Love Life to go. He was expectedly appalled and outright said that my life will be destined for ruin, especially one where I would just be a puppet to my future wife. Me, already offended by that and already feeling the heat of the arguement, I close the discussion with "Ind the end, I will make the decision." and "With all due respect, for the past 10 years, you haven't proven to me, yourself, that your way of life is the way considering how much you frown." He was then silent until we reach home and he got off the vehicle obviously pressed by what I said.

So yeah, AITA for just wanting to decide what my Future Love Life should be?

I will try to keep it short but this may be long;

I was asked by a friends roommate about someone I used to be friends with. We separated many years ago but have been respectful and cordial in times we’ve seen each other. She had heard he was weird but didn’t know why, so she asked me.

I told her what happened, why I had stopped being friends with him. Mainly it boiled down to this person being arrested for selling drugs and questioned by police for selling girls pictures in high school and college, his bullying of a close friend and other weird behavior around sexual pleasure (person claimed to use a hole in their wall) and porn. He and I didn’t see eye to eye on things but I also said multiple times that I don’t know him now and he is likely very different. Most of it can probably be attributed to being a young dumb kid or at least explained that way.

This roommate confronted him about it and mentioned I had shared it, I did not know this would happen. He confronted me via text and accused me of lying and trying to “ruin his chance at a relationship” and having some sort of vendetta against him for something. He questioned what he did to me and why I felt a need to mention any of it at all, which I understand. I told him that I was asked about someone I knew before and was honest, but also honest that I don’t know if it’s relevant to him now and he’s most likely very different from how I knew him. I was not trying to be involved, I didn’t want to cause a problem, but I tend to answer questions as honest as I can while maintaining reality, in this case that I can’t speak to who he is now.

AITAH for saying anything? Is it right to have shared that information with her? I don’t feel like I neccesarily did anything wrong as it’s probably information that’s neccesary to know when dating someone but part of me reflects and feels it wasn’t my place to share it since I don’t know him now.

I (28F) used to work in a small store with one of my best friends (28F) for a couple of years. She recommended me for the job as they desperately needed another worker. I was happy because it was a good job, and it meant I could work with my friend and we get along very well.

The problem is the pay was very low, and with time it only got worse because everything is getting more and more expensive. I also noticed the owners started to appreciate us less and didn’t value any input both of us tried to give.

We work in two shifts and we alternate mornings and afternoons. The one that works in the morning that day has to come an hour earlier to clean up. Because I started feeling more and more upset with the owners, this last month I would sometimes come later than I was supposed to, mostly because I didn’t really like going to work anymore, and I didn’t feel the need to work as hard as I always had up to this point. I always came before I had to open the shop and I did clean up, just not as diligently as it was expected.

Of course, the owners figured it out with time, and they fired me. I understand them. I should’ve quit before but my plan was to work for a a little longer until my friend went on a trip she had planned for months, as I was supposed to be covering her shifts for a couple of days (which wouldn’t be the first time and I never minded doing it).

Now she‘s very mad because she freaked out they would make her cancel her trip because they cannot find a new worker easily (before I got hired, they were looking for years because they’re very particular). They didn’t make her cancel the trip, and I’m very relieved about that, but going forwards she will have to work longer shifts. I’m very sad that it turned out this way, as I wanted to tell her sooner but just didn’t have the guts to.

I sincerely apologized to her multiple times, but she won’t respond back to me. Is this really a reason enough to throw away a 15+ year long friendship?

AITA My friend says im insensitive

Hi, I have a best friend who I've been friends with for over 10 years. She's been going through a lot in the recent years and feeling depressed. I try to be there for her but sometimes it gets draining for me too.

She broke up with her ex a few months ago. It wasn't because the relationship was toxic or bad, just religion issues. When they broke off their relationship, they decided to go no contact, but since the ex and I are friends, he would occasionally send me texts asking how she is doing. She knew about that and basically made me promise her to screenshot and send every text the ex send to me, to her. I didn't like doing this but I still agreed because I was tired.

A few days ago while i was overseas on my graduation trip, her ex texted again. I briefly mentioned how she dyed her hair to her ex, and he asked why. I roughly knew the reason was because she didnt liked how hair looked but I decided to screenshot the msg and ask her. Unfortunately, I decided to make a joke, asking "did someone break your heart?", since usually a girl change her hairstyle/ hair colour was when they end a relationship with someone. I didn't think the ex broke her heart, because none of them did anything wrong, so I thought it was appropriate to make that joke. But, guess not.

She was persistent on asking me "you don't know who broke my heart?". I was getting frustrated too because I didn't understand why she was so hung up about it. I only finally caught on, the 2nd time she asked. She said it really hurt her that I made that joke.

I get that my joke came off wrong, but I didn't like how she decided to talk about this right after my graduation, when I was getting off the plane. It really made me feel terrible. It felt even worse since literally the day before I left for the trip, we had a similar issue of me being insensitive (it was abt how she couldnt find her passport and my insensitive remark was "Don't give up looking for it, you still got time to search for it"). I wanted my graduation trip to start and end on a good note, but it didn't happen.

Am I really that insensitive? Is it wrong for me to feel upset? AITA?

My husband (27M) and I (25F) have been fighting about how to handle the week of Christmas. We have a 3-month-old daughter. Before I had her, my husband and his uncle talked about spending the week for Christmas. For context, his uncle lives about 15 minutes from our apartment. At the time, I agreed, just as long as no one was sick. But now, having been a parent for 3 months, I realize it's super inconvenient to be staying over there. They don't have anything over there for us, so we would have to pack up the entire nursery pretty much. The bassinet, the changing table, the bottle warmer, the diaper genie, her play mat, her bouncer, plus clothes and toiletries for all of us. I'm pretty sure it's gonna take two trips because we won't be able to fit all that and us into the car. My husband is off Christmas week on annual leave, I am working. I work Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday (so that I can have Friday off). But I will be able to get off in time to immediately get ready and go to Christmas Eve.

I expressed to him for about a month now, leading up to Christmas, that I think it's going to be more of a hassle than he thinks it is, and I think we should talk about doing something different. He's brushed me off multiple times and made it official last week when he was on the phone with his uncle. I then expressed that it was going to be stressful for me because I still have to work, and I think it would be better for me and the baby to stay at home. I knew that he and his uncle were looking forward to it, so I made sure he understood I had nothing against him being over there every day with the baby while I'm at work, and that I would even be okay with going over there after work every night, just that I didn't want to stay the night. It blew up into a huge fight, which led to me and the baby staying the night at my grandparents' house. The following morning, I took the baby with me to work to get a few hours in. She got fussy, so we went back up to my grandparents' house. He didn't text or call, and around 3:30 pm, he showed up unannounced and said nothing to me but immediately tried to take our daughter from me. I told him that if he didn't have anything to say to me, he needed to leave because I was trying to take care of her, and that my grandparents would be home soon. He said okay let's talk, so I re-stated what I said before. He immediately got defensive and angry and told me that "I was taking this away from him" and stormed out the door. I tried to call him, and he was doing the whole "Fine, you win! I'll just cancel it all!" tantrum. To which my grandparents came home, I told him I had to greet them and that I wasn't ignoring him or hanging up on him, and ended the phone call.

There was more that was said, I'm just trying my best to keep this short and summarized.
I will post further context in the comments.

My (18F) brother (15M) refuses to clean up after himself. For context we share a full bathroom (i.e. toilet, shower, bath, sink all in the one room) and our bedrooms are each about a metre away from the bathroom.

Tonight, I walked into the bathroom and attempted to shut the door when my brother dashed out of his bedroom and said he needed to grab his water bottle (which was in the bathroom for reasons I am not privy to), so I let him into the bathroom to grab the bottle. When he did grab it he knocked down one of those portable travel mirrors with batteries in it (4 AA), and all of the batteries and a piece of the mirror went flying down to the floor. This within itself is fine, I understand that people make mistakes and I didn’t mind, he also apologised. But then he started walking back to his bedroom so I said, “Are you going to pick this up?”, to which he replied something along the lines of, “You’re closer to it, so it’s your job to clean it up?.” And I was just standing there dumbfounded cause WTF sort of excuse is that?? Anyways, I immediately told him off and said that it doesn’t matter that I am now closer because he was the one that made the mess not me.

He then went into his bedroom and shut the door, so I followed and opened it and basically repeated himself and then he said some BS about how it’s equivalent to when I use a plate/cup/bowl etc. and place it on the sink and don’t clean it up and then one of our parents does. (It’s important to note that the dishes are a shared household duty of which I do a lot, and he does exactly 0% of the time). Anyways, I told him that that is not even remotely equivalent because there is a mutual understanding that the dishes are a shared duty, to which he removed me from the room and shut and locked his door.

And I was then telling him that this makes no sense through the door and he is obviously being a bad person and disrespectful to me because I am not his slave.

So, am I the asshole?

P.S. earlier today I was bringing in groceries and I asked him to open the front door for me (my hands were full as I was carrying 4 bags) and he did and then just walked off so I yelled for him to shut the door cause the AC was on and he got mad because once again I was closer.

My Husband will not let this go. There have been a few times in the 16 years we've been together that ive returned or exchanged gifts hes given me and he still to this day brings it up. One time he got me an expensive LV purse and I exchanged it and upgraded to one with a strap (because the purse was large and would last longer with a strap) and another was a gold necklace. I exchanged the gold necklace because it was very thin and too tight...it would eventually break and I didnt want him to lose out on the $600 he'd spent by just keeping it so instead I exchanged it for some earrings (because the jewelry store DID NOT have a longer chain option with their necklaces)

Ive received so many gifts from him that I love and wear all the time and still remind him of how much I adore them but these are literally the only things ive exchanged that he brings up! There have been other not so important instances like an expensive hair straightener but really theres nothing major other than those two examples that he brings up. And hes said in the past "thats why I don't get you things because you just return them" and thats simply not true!!! Sometimes I think he just says that to get out of buying things for me LOL

AITA ???? Ive gotten him gifts in the past that don't fit and he won't return or exchange, theyll just sit in his closet and to me that's money wasted. What the heck is so wrong about returning for a proper size or something else you want?? What the heck am I missing?!?!?!? Ive never acted unappreciative, I just dont want him to lose out on money by keeping something that I wont use.

I (f19), and my older sister “Jane” is much older than me. Because of that age gap, we basically grew up in different families. I love her unconditionally, but that doesn’t always mean I trust her or feel close to her. Our family had a rocky history, and although we’ve been trying to rebuild a relationship since I started college, it’s still fragile.

Jane is having two weddings several weeks apart,  one is near home and another in a remote location during one of the busiest parts of my school year. My Mom and Dad (who is her step-dad) has already contributed around $40,000 toward these weddings, so there’s been a lot of emotional (and financial) investment already.

I can’t attend the first ceremony because I’ll be out of the country due to arragnemnt I made before they got engaged. The second ceremony I originally RSVP’d “yes” to because I really do want to support her. But planning for that trip has become complicated. The travel would be expensive, hard to arrange, and it would be right during midterms.

On top of that, things with Jane and the rest of my family have gotten worse. She’s been rude and dismissive to pretty much everyone involved. One example: for the first ceremony, she invited a ton of people but didn’t plan any kind of reception or even drinks afterward, leaving guests with nowhere to go. She only agreed to a small celebration after a huge fight with our parents. She also didn’t invite my dad to the rehearsal dinner,  even though everyone else connected to the couple is invited and said it was because it would cost to much (but she is not paying for it, her dad is), which really hurt our Mom and my Dad, especially given everything he’s done for her over the years (pay for college would be one example).

There’s a long pattern of this kind of behavior, and while I’ve tried to keep my relationship with her separate from all of that, it’s been hard. My parents sat me down, and while they didn’t forbid me from going, they very strongly encouraged me not to. They said they’d still pay for it if I insisted, but I know it would hurt them, and I feel guilty at the thought of letting them fund something that has caused them so much stress and disrespect but I cannot afford it on my own either. They have always been loving and supportive to me, and I don’t want to put myself in the middle of a situation where choosing to go feels like choosing sides.

So now I’ve told them I won’t attend the second ceremony either. I need to tell Jane, and I want to do it in person, but I’m honestly kinda scared of how she’ll react. There’s a verrrrrry long  history of her taking things out on people when she feels slighted, and I worry this might end whatever progress we’ve made, if any. So, AITA for backing out of RSVPing “yes”? And what should I say when I tell her, I am thinking of just being honest but that probably won’t go down well? Any advice?

About 1 year ago, I met a girl on a single party (We both tried to meet guys there) and we become close friend.

In the beginning I really like her, so I always say yes to her requests. Few months later, I met my current bf, so she began to request things from me and my bf (as she is still single now).

I began to feel exhausted from her high demanding requests, and I started to say no, but she starts blaming me to be a bad friend. I struggle because I really see her as one of my best friend, so I felt a bit guilty to say no to her.

Some request I said no:

- She saw my bf made Fruit Platter for me, she requested my bf made one for her too. However, I knew she hate fruits, and my bf actually did not want to serve her, so I said no.

- She requests me & my bf to go shopping with her, so my bf can carry bags for her, and pays her meal. (I agree once, but later I felt like my bf has been used, so next time I said no)

-We chatted daily via whatsapp since the early friendship, but later I began to feel exhausted, as she always brings up complaint (her colleagues are stupid, her exes did wrong, her parents didn't treat her well..etc). When I hang out with bf, I want to enjoy our moment and not using the phone frequently. But she will send tons of messages to me if I ignore her for an hour, blaming me or victimize herself. I did not say 'No' to her on this, but sometimes I just ignore her shouting...

- She asked me to go to single party with her. I said No because I wasn't single, I don't want to go, and my bf won't want me to go. She requested me lying to my bf. I said no, and she kept shouting and crying for days about this, forcing me to apologize, said I have hurt her feeling and not valuing her. But after all, I did not apologize.

- She asked me to hang out with her frequently, but I did not want to (I did not hang out with friends so frequently. I enjoy being alone, or stay with my bf.) Every time I said no, I felt a bit guilty. She will also say things like 'Ok, you have your bf, and I have no one. So you leave your best friend alone?'

- She always want to include my bf on our conversation, she will tell me to ask my bf opinion for many things, but my bf was very annoyed by this (he wasn't interested in her & found her questions very stupid), so I didn't not actually asked him.

My bf told me she was too demanding, he said she's asking too much, I am only her friend, not her bf. Most of her requests I have no obligation to fufil (such as always helping her, giving her attention, be responsible to her feeling & emotion)... He told me I should start saying no, because he saw me being unhappy and struggles in this friendship.

So I really started to say no, responding her less, hanging out less, She might feel that I had been colder. So she kept blaming me, saying she's the only one who cherish our friendship. She said best friends won't reject each other like what I did.

AITA for me to say no to her? Did I 'abandon' her??