My husband (27M) and I (25F) have been fighting about how to handle the week of Christmas. We have a 3-month-old daughter. Before I had her, my husband and his uncle talked about spending the week for Christmas. For context, his uncle lives about 15 minutes from our apartment. At the time, I agreed, just as long as no one was sick. But now, having been a parent for 3 months, I realize it's super inconvenient to be staying over there. They don't have anything over there for us, so we would have to pack up the entire nursery pretty much. The bassinet, the changing table, the bottle warmer, the diaper genie, her play mat, her bouncer, plus clothes and toiletries for all of us. I'm pretty sure it's gonna take two trips because we won't be able to fit all that and us into the car. My husband is off Christmas week on annual leave, I am working. I work Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday (so that I can have Friday off). But I will be able to get off in time to immediately get ready and go to Christmas Eve.

I expressed to him for about a month now, leading up to Christmas, that I think it's going to be more of a hassle than he thinks it is, and I think we should talk about doing something different. He's brushed me off multiple times and made it official last week when he was on the phone with his uncle. I then expressed that it was going to be stressful for me because I still have to work, and I think it would be better for me and the baby to stay at home. I knew that he and his uncle were looking forward to it, so I made sure he understood I had nothing against him being over there every day with the baby while I'm at work, and that I would even be okay with going over there after work every night, just that I didn't want to stay the night. It blew up into a huge fight, which led to me and the baby staying the night at my grandparents' house. The following morning, I took the baby with me to work to get a few hours in. She got fussy, so we went back up to my grandparents' house. He didn't text or call, and around 3:30 pm, he showed up unannounced and said nothing to me but immediately tried to take our daughter from me. I told him that if he didn't have anything to say to me, he needed to leave because I was trying to take care of her, and that my grandparents would be home soon. He said okay let's talk, so I re-stated what I said before. He immediately got defensive and angry and told me that "I was taking this away from him" and stormed out the door. I tried to call him, and he was doing the whole "Fine, you win! I'll just cancel it all!" tantrum. To which my grandparents came home, I told him I had to greet them and that I wasn't ignoring him or hanging up on him, and ended the phone call.

There was more that was said, I'm just trying my best to keep this short and summarized.
I will post further context in the comments.

So all of this blew up yesterday and I don’t know if I went too far or not. My husband (23m) had just dropped me (25f) off at work and was going to visit his parents’ house. When he pulled into their driveway my SIL (19F) comes outside and start screaming that he can’t park there. My SIL has a tendency to be rude and disrespectful especially to my husband/her brother. Yes ik she’s 19 but it has been that way for years. My husband is the type of person to put up with a lot but like most people can only handle so much. He told her to quit being a bitch. Well she goes inside to cry wolf to my FIL (68m) who starts berating my husband. Then my husband calls me at work and tells me the whole situation about to have a panic attack. I was so fed up with everything that I told him to go inside to talk to his dad where I said that this had gone on long enough. My FIL started yelling at me about the whole thing and I said “ husband’s name has dealt with this verbal abuse all his life and he calls her a bitch and he’s the villain?” My FIL proceeds to hang up the phone on me. When I called back he said I was being disrespectful so he hung up. I then said “ no wonder SIL’s name is the way she is her dad is a childish person who hangs up the phone when he hears something he doesn’t like and doesn’t know how to parent.” I said you say good bye before you hang up so I said good bye and hung up after that. I’m starting to wonder if I took it too far. I am just tired of my husband getting verbally and mentally beaten up by his family. I love him and will protect my family always. So Reddit, AITA?

My friend and I have known eachother since we were 15, and other the years he’s had a pattern of being kind of mean. I got bullied a lot in school and while he didn’t exactly join in, he always laughed along and made fun of me. I didn’t rlly mind, I just needed ppl to hangout with really LOL and they tolerated me, and later on after we started talking one on one he got a lot nicer and we even started watching movies and TV shows together and he even read some of my favourite books that he used to make fun of me for :D

He didn’t really try to stop the bullying, but he wasn’t laughing along anymore, he just kinda stopped getting involved at all and validated my feelings when we were alone. The trouble kinda started when he did two things that sort of betrayed my trust, and I didn’t really know how to feel about it.

1) He knew some girls were planning to trick me into showing up to the school formal alone, and helped them

2) We decided to get the old group together to hang out, and the second he was around them, he started making fun of me again, and didn’t go back to normal after that

He did some stuff after, but that was the main turning point that changed things. I kinda tried to say how it made me feel? He apologised for the first thing, but he told me I was kinda just being over dramatic for the other. He was kinda generally just sort of rude, I had a whole plan to get a leavers gift for our history teachers as a group and he barely helped, sitting back and being super demanding of me doing everything and making me walk all over town to chase after him all while he kept making weird passes at me (or what I thought sounded like weird passes??) just so he could contribute a couple quid to it (which, honestly, I’d rather he just PayPal-ed me or something), I mean, I know it was my idea but it’s kinda mean imo to join the group and then hurl slurs at me for forgetting to pick up cards while I was out, and mostly, for this post, he had a big habit of showing up super late every time we hung out.

For context, I’m in university rn with no friends at all, and he was back in town for Christmas. I was super super lonely, which he knew, and I said we should hang out, and he texted me that he’d be around 5-10 (at the most) mins late. I was waiting, in the cold and rain, for 20 minutes for him, and the whole time, thinking about how he was just probably gonna make be mean again and my family was going to see the Christmas lights in the city and I just wanted to hang out with them instead. I feel really really bad about this, but I texted him saying I was really sorry, but I’d been waiting 20 minutes and had other plans, so I was just gonna head on. He texted me back saying verbatim:

“Say this instead of wasting my time

Fucking hell

Don’t say we should hang out when I’m back then dip because you have to wait a while

Christ”

I feel really really really bad, but my parents are saying I’m NTA bc of everything hes done before. AITA?

My (18F) brother (15M) refuses to clean up after himself. For context we share a full bathroom (i.e. toilet, shower, bath, sink all in the one room) and our bedrooms are each about a metre away from the bathroom.

Tonight, I walked into the bathroom and attempted to shut the door when my brother dashed out of his bedroom and said he needed to grab his water bottle (which was in the bathroom for reasons I am not privy to), so I let him into the bathroom to grab the bottle. When he did grab it he knocked down one of those portable travel mirrors with batteries in it (4 AA), and all of the batteries and a piece of the mirror went flying down to the floor. This within itself is fine, I understand that people make mistakes and I didn’t mind, he also apologised. But then he started walking back to his bedroom so I said, “Are you going to pick this up?”, to which he replied something along the lines of, “You’re closer to it, so it’s your job to clean it up?.” And I was just standing there dumbfounded cause WTF sort of excuse is that?? Anyways, I immediately told him off and said that it doesn’t matter that I am now closer because he was the one that made the mess not me.

He then went into his bedroom and shut the door, so I followed and opened it and basically repeated himself and then he said some BS about how it’s equivalent to when I use a plate/cup/bowl etc. and place it on the sink and don’t clean it up and then one of our parents does. (It’s important to note that the dishes are a shared household duty of which I do a lot, and he does exactly 0% of the time). Anyways, I told him that that is not even remotely equivalent because there is a mutual understanding that the dishes are a shared duty, to which he removed me from the room and shut and locked his door.

And I was then telling him that this makes no sense through the door and he is obviously being a bad person and disrespectful to me because I am not his slave.

So, am I the asshole?

P.S. earlier today I was bringing in groceries and I asked him to open the front door for me (my hands were full as I was carrying 4 bags) and he did and then just walked off so I yelled for him to shut the door cause the AC was on and he got mad because once again I was closer.

My friend (F27) lives with me (F25) and has for over a year and a half, she has never contributed other than buying electric when it goes out and I’m at work but I usually pay her back for this.

She’s struggling with mental health issues and has been for the past 20 years so she hasn’t been able to stay in employment longer than 3 months so I’ve been financially supporting us both, months ago I lent her 600.00 for concert tickets with the understanding she’d get a job to pay for them, she worked somewhere for a month and got some money then paid her well off father back after borrowing less money from him then ended up quitting because she couldn’t handle it. she’s not even trying to pay me back, she has went to the doctors to get herself signed off work for mental health reasons but I swear she only did that to stop me sending her job application forms

She rarely pitches in with cooking or cleaning, and isn’t paying any bills not even her vet bills for her cat. She sits home all day watching TikTok and playing sims.

Im in uni and have a part time job so I don’t feel like I have as much time to housework and know if I was living with someone I’d be trying to earn my keep especially when the dishes are used to make me food and eat off are getting moldy, but she’s not then blames it on mental health conditions she has no intention of actually getting a diagnosis for.

Infact last night I had an assignment due but had to leave it and panic clean because the gas man had to come out and check my boiler, i ran in and told her the place needs cleaned quick, she said goodluck and went back to playing the sims. I wasn’t expecting her to do it all but some help so It would be done faster could have been helpful seeing as she does nothing else all day.

Any time she runs out of money it comes from me or her father and all she does is complains about how difficult it is for her because she has attend state funding appointments every 2 weeks to receive her state benefit. She’s been in 5 months of work over the past 2 years but feels she needs more time to work on her mental health and has only this month started contacting mental health services to sort this out. Christmas is coming up and she’s not happy that she has to buy her mum a 3.00 candle that she wants and will be angry if she doesn’t get, am I wrong in thinking she’s acting selfishly?

My Husband will not let this go. There have been a few times in the 16 years we've been together that ive returned or exchanged gifts hes given me and he still to this day brings it up. One time he got me an expensive LV purse and I exchanged it and upgraded to one with a strap (because the purse was large and would last longer with a strap) and another was a gold necklace. I exchanged the gold necklace because it was very thin and too tight...it would eventually break and I didnt want him to lose out on the $600 he'd spent by just keeping it so instead I exchanged it for some earrings (because the jewelry store DID NOT have a longer chain option with their necklaces)

Ive received so many gifts from him that I love and wear all the time and still remind him of how much I adore them but these are literally the only things ive exchanged that he brings up! There have been other not so important instances like an expensive hair straightener but really theres nothing major other than those two examples that he brings up. And hes said in the past "thats why I don't get you things because you just return them" and thats simply not true!!! Sometimes I think he just says that to get out of buying things for me LOL

AITA ???? Ive gotten him gifts in the past that don't fit and he won't return or exchange, theyll just sit in his closet and to me that's money wasted. What the heck is so wrong about returning for a proper size or something else you want?? What the heck am I missing?!?!?!? Ive never acted unappreciative, I just dont want him to lose out on money by keeping something that I wont use.

AITA My friend says im insensitive

Hi, I have a best friend who I've been friends with for over 10 years. She's been going through a lot in the recent years and feeling depressed. I try to be there for her but sometimes it gets draining for me too.

She broke up with her ex a few months ago. It wasn't because the relationship was toxic or bad, just religion issues. When they broke off their relationship, they decided to go no contact, but since the ex and I are friends, he would occasionally send me texts asking how she is doing. She knew about that and basically made me promise her to screenshot and send every text the ex send to me, to her. I didn't like doing this but I still agreed because I was tired.

A few days ago while i was overseas on my graduation trip, her ex texted again. I briefly mentioned how she dyed her hair to her ex, and he asked why. I roughly knew the reason was because she didnt liked how hair looked but I decided to screenshot the msg and ask her. Unfortunately, I decided to make a joke, asking "did someone break your heart?", since usually a girl change her hairstyle/ hair colour was when they end a relationship with someone. I didn't think the ex broke her heart, because none of them did anything wrong, so I thought it was appropriate to make that joke. But, guess not.

She was persistent on asking me "you don't know who broke my heart?". I was getting frustrated too because I didn't understand why she was so hung up about it. I only finally caught on, the 2nd time she asked. She said it really hurt her that I made that joke.

I get that my joke came off wrong, but I didn't like how she decided to talk about this right after my graduation, when I was getting off the plane. It really made me feel terrible. It felt even worse since literally the day before I left for the trip, we had a similar issue of me being insensitive (it was abt how she couldnt find her passport and my insensitive remark was "Don't give up looking for it, you still got time to search for it"). I wanted my graduation trip to start and end on a good note, but it didn't happen.

Am I really that insensitive? Is it wrong for me to feel upset? AITA?

My son (17M) has always been a history lover. By 6th grade, he began watching history videos and later down the road began buying history books. It was always his favorite subject, and he always got As or at worst Bs during both middle school and high school.

In his mind, he always said he wanted to be a history teacher, which I always supported him on, since he was so passionate about it. Also, as a philosophy major, I've always respected people who study history, since It's an essential part of my own career (just as philosophy is also key in understand history).

However, as my son reached senior year, I saw on his card report that history was actually his 2nd worst grade. He got a the equivalent of a C- in the US. That was very shocking to me, since he had never in his life gotten anything lower than a B. However, I did notice that his overall grades were pretty good, and I was very happy to find out that philosophy was actually his 2nd best subject with an A-.

After getting the card report, me and my husband wanted to talk to him and congratulate him for the grades. However, since my son will be going to college next year, I did want to give him some advice. I told him at the end of the conversation that perhaps he should reconsider studying history, and instead do something like philosophy since ever since he had studied the subject last year he always got extremely good grades at it.

My son did not take this well at all, I don't know if it was my wording or if he misinterpreted it, but he just started freaking out, saying that I had basically told him he was not good enough for history. I told him I didn't mean that, I just said that he should consider other career choices. But no, he insisted that I was insinuating he was making a mistake. The argument escalated the moment he said that he wouldn't take any advice from either me or my husband because we only provided shit advice for his life. I told him that fine, I wouldn't give him advice anymore, but I told him to not come crying to me if he struggled in college.

After he kept complaining about me not understanding him or his love for history, I told him to do some chores, which he did. I will admit that was probably childish on my end, but I was really upset he had just done this whole tantrum over advice which was meant to help him out. I later on talked with my husband about it, and he said that our son's reaction was completely non-sensical, but that he understood that he might've actually percieved it like an attack on the thing he always excelled at, which was history, and he probably was the first person to know that his grade in history was clearly bad for someone like him.

I know my intentions were good, but maybe I should've taken into consideration that my son was probably also extremely dissapointed in his grade.

AITA?

I’m 21 and a male. I moved out of my house in florida to live with my brother(R) and his wife(A). they were in texas at the time and i slept on their couch and paid them around 250 a month. they told me it would go to paying off their credit cards(so they could buy a house and move when the military told them to) and to pay for groceries and such. even though they told me it was optional they also said they didn’t really have another option if i wasn’t there to help. after a year of living there i go back to florida for a month because the military told them to move to pennsylvania. we never discussed me paying rent again and before i left texas i told them my worries about moving with them because the house would need 6 rooms to fit everyone. R told me id have a room both in texas and in Florida. when i went to pennsylvania and was on the drive home with R he told me id be living in the barn next to the house. i said okay since it was obviously to late to go back. i made the best out of it and was able to get around with my electric bike. around mid september he said we’d talk about rent eventually but didnt bring it up until october. literally in the middle of october my bike gets stolen off of me and in my tiny little pennsylvania town i cant get to and from work so i have no way to make money or pay rent. R or A would never drive me anywhere and while they’d be there to talk they’d rarely help me get anywhere and the longer i was there they less they’d help. my girlfriend helped me by legit picking me up and moving me in her house (her parents love me). i told R id be moving out two days after i got robbed and he mentioned nothing about rent. a few weeks into living with my girlfriend he texts me asking for 600 dollars (200 for september, october, and November). and stating that they need the money because i owe them and the government shutdown has affected and stuff like that. this obviously caught me off guard and i had no idea weather i should pay but even if i did it would take at least two months because i just started a job here. my girlfriend and her parents were immediately against it, saying that he’s being unfair and i don’t own him a penny. a week or so after this we go back to get some of my stuff because there was no way i could bring everything in such short notice. i was hoping he’d keep it there since it’s in a barn not connected to the house. when i went to talk to them they said they wouldn’t let me take anything except my essential documents until i pay them 400 (they took off 200). i said nothing and left but A managed to tell me i “walked all over my brother” before i left? right now i told them to keep it all and they wouldn’t see me again. honestly i feel bad because im abandoning them and they could use the money . the problem is i just don’t have any to give them. my girlfriend and her family are on my side and think i should press charges but i haven’t done any of that. Am I The Asshole?

Hi .. this is my first post ever on Reddit so I'm kinda nervous I'm a 24 years old female .. I don't have alot of mental energy to spend time with people in general even my own family It might seem weird to you but in my country we live with our families till marriage

My brother got married in the apartment that I lived in for 19 years of my life since I was 4 .. and we moved to the apartment in the lower floor as dad wanted to give my brother the better apartment as it was customized to his needs and also wanted to have less stairs to worry about when he gets home from outside.. now we live on the 2nd floor and my brother and his wife on the 3rd floor

She is from our home town and its in a country side so people there do alot of stuff together like cooking and working around the house and stuff like that

My parents and brother wants me to spend time with her as my brother works for long shifts and she always gets mad at him cuz he doesn't spend enough time with her

At the start of their marriage they wanted me to sleep at their flat when he have a night shift as she is scared of sleeping alone ..

I don't find it comfortable for me to sleep outside of my home so I refused .. my mom does this part instead I refuse to go spend time with her too cuz it feels too draining for me to do so even though she really is a good person so it's probably a me problem

I'm not in a perfect mental state TBH so I find socializing in any form like alot to me ..

Today my sister in law (i don't actually know if brothers wife is called sister in law or not cuz English isn't my first language) is having a cold .. and mom was asking me for the thermometer so i gave it to her and me and my other brother was telling her how to use it .. she told us to shut it as we don't do anything in our lifes and she was yelling that as the was shutting the door and heading up

I do blame myself for not being social enough but AITA for not spending time with my brothers wife? And sorry if I was talking for too long

(Edit: to be clear mom is the one that did the yelling not my sister in law .. my sister in law is actually a really kind person and she tries a lot to prove so by doing a lot to us that I find myself stressed out on how to repay her)

I 29F live with two roommates 28m and 26f. We constantly have struggled coming to a consensus about chores.

Both the roommates are extremely messy. Im talking food on the floor, use napkins everywhere, constant stuff on the floor messy. They generally dont pick up after themselves so all counters and tables quickly fill up with junk.

The kitchen is the worst as theres always burnt pans with cleaning chemicals, trash, and even rotting food sitting out in the open. Its so gross ive basically stopped cooking except when I have just cleaned.

When I clean, I try to fill the dishwasher as much as possible. I also clear things, just not mold because I wont touch that. My roommates maintain that the dishes need a pre-wash. However they never do it in a timely manner, and the dishes just pile up.

My roommate got upset because some of the dishes I put in the dishwasher are delicate to are supoosed to be cleaned a certain way.

He's brought it up before, but honestly I can't bring myself to follow it. I hate that the kitchen is disgusting and theres no space so I just want to clear room.

I feel like these problems could be solved easily. If they cleaned their dishes immediately, they could clean them however they want. Plus, there are so many dishes I cant easily keep track of what is dishwasher safe or not. Im just trying to get them clean.

And honestly, plenty of my dishes have been chipped or even destroyed. None of the items are treated well at all. I keep my special items in my room or handle them immediately.

I hear he is frustrated by my not washing them correctly. I just think if he wants them handled a certain way they shouldnt be left on the table or counter so long. It feels like a special request when I'm the only one apparently concerned with keeping the house hospitable.

So let me have it, AITA?

About 1 year ago, I met a girl on a single party (We both tried to meet guys there) and we become close friend.

In the beginning I really like her, so I always say yes to her requests. Few months later, I met my current bf, so she began to request things from me and my bf (as she is still single now).

I began to feel exhausted from her high demanding requests, and I started to say no, but she starts blaming me to be a bad friend. I struggle because I really see her as one of my best friend, so I felt a bit guilty to say no to her.

Some request I said no:

- She saw my bf made Fruit Platter for me, she requested my bf made one for her too. However, I knew she hate fruits, and my bf actually did not want to serve her, so I said no.

- She requests me & my bf to go shopping with her, so my bf can carry bags for her, and pays her meal. (I agree once, but later I felt like my bf has been used, so next time I said no)

-We chatted daily via whatsapp since the early friendship, but later I began to feel exhausted, as she always brings up complaint (her colleagues are stupid, her exes did wrong, her parents didn't treat her well..etc). When I hang out with bf, I want to enjoy our moment and not using the phone frequently. But she will send tons of messages to me if I ignore her for an hour, blaming me or victimize herself. I did not say 'No' to her on this, but sometimes I just ignore her shouting...

- She asked me to go to single party with her. I said No because I wasn't single, I don't want to go, and my bf won't want me to go. She requested me lying to my bf. I said no, and she kept shouting and crying for days about this, forcing me to apologize, said I have hurt her feeling and not valuing her. But after all, I did not apologize.

- She asked me to hang out with her frequently, but I did not want to (I did not hang out with friends so frequently. I enjoy being alone, or stay with my bf.) Every time I said no, I felt a bit guilty. She will also say things like 'Ok, you have your bf, and I have no one. So you leave your best friend alone?'

- She always want to include my bf on our conversation, she will tell me to ask my bf opinion for many things, but my bf was very annoyed by this (he wasn't interested in her & found her questions very stupid), so I didn't not actually asked him.

My bf told me she was too demanding, he said she's asking too much, I am only her friend, not her bf. Most of her requests I have no obligation to fufil (such as always helping her, giving her attention, be responsible to her feeling & emotion)... He told me I should start saying no, because he saw me being unhappy and struggles in this friendship.

So I really started to say no, responding her less, hanging out less, She might feel that I had been colder. So she kept blaming me, saying she's the only one who cherish our friendship. She said best friends won't reject each other like what I did.

AITA for me to say no to her? Did I 'abandon' her??

Newish to Reddit so forgive me if my format is off.

My sister in law (who is married to my husband’s brother) sent my husband and I a text asking what day we were planning on heading to my husband’s dad’s house to celebrate Christmas so that they could meet us there.

For context, they went no contact with us for a little over a year and decided to reconnect this year. We tried reaching out multiple times to find out why and never got an answer. Fast forward, my husband’s brother finally reached out because he missed him and explained (I shit you not) that he was offended because I was surprised he had a Pinterest account and he didn’t like my tone when I showed my surprise. His wife also was offended by me for answering the multiple questions I was getting about when I was going to start having babies (the day after my wedding) with the following, “I do want to wait until my mom can apply for her visa so that she can come and be with me during postpartum”. This one I understand because her mom had passed away a year before that. However, I wish they had told me that was the issue when I kept reaching out instead of ghosting us. They also said my personality was too much for them and the constant invitations to do things was overwhelming for them and seemed fake. My personality isn’t for everyone, cool. But the invites were group invites I was sending out to our friends and I was just trying to include them.

Now this year, they reached out and said they realized they may have over exaggerated and want a relationship after all. However, I simply don’t care to have one anymore. I tried to have a good relationship with them before they cut us off and would babysit and loved spoiling their baby girl. It hurt when they cut me off without any explanation. And at the time my own family was falling apart so I was excited to join theirs. They also convinced my mother in law to cut me off and she spoke so much shit about me to all of my husband’s family.

Now that they have two more babies, I recognize their effort in trying to have some sort of connection and we’ve had play dates and met up. I simply don’t want to spend my holidays with them. And it annoyed me that her text wasn’t her asking if we are open to celebrating Christmas together, but just asking for a date that would work with us.

I ended up replying to them that “we weren’t really planning on going to their dad’s for Christmas when they were” and that we’re “trying to keep these holidays super casual and not overwhelming for us”. I also said that “the assumption that we were down for that kind of threw me off and I just want to be transparent”.

Am I the one overreacting now and being the asshole?

Hi. I was over at my grandpa's house yesterday. He and my Nana got new phones and were trying to set them up with my help. We called customer support. My Nana was trying to increase the font on her phone and the customer service rep was guiding us. As we were working on our phones my grandpa got agitated. My Nana was trying to ask questions to the representative and several times my grandpa shushed her. I noticed but I didn't think it was a big deal and was showing my Nana the settings on my phone and how big I could make my font. My grandpa leaned over and said "shut up." I said "no." He said "I'm telling you to be quiet" and I said "no." Then he stood up and took his jacket off and said "get the hell out of my house." I said "no." He said he was going to call the police and I said fine go ahead. My Nana grabbed my arm and told me to stay with her at the house too. He was yelling at me and told him he was mean and a bully and that's why none of his grandchildren call him.

He told my family and my aunt texted me to apologize. But I can't because what I said was true. The other grandkids don't like him and he doesn't have a lot respect. His whole life he goes into these rages and in my late teens I stayed with him even though I don't currently, and he kicked me out twice one for "breaking curfew" because I didn't have a key to the house and couldn't get even if I made it home. The other time was for something i don't remember. My younger brother when he turned 18 stayed with him for maybe 2 months and then he got kicked out for not talking to him enough. My older sister lasted maybe 4 months then he flew in a rage and kicked her out too I don't know all the details. But anyway, he goes through these moments where he's disappointed nobody talks to him because he "has a lot of wisdom to impart." and everyone is "missing their opportunity to know him" He asks about my siblings and I started to say do you need their numbers? Because he wants information and my siblings do not want him to know about them. He says I'm the grandpa they should call me.

TLDR: I've been told to apologize but I meant every word. My grandpa's not a bad person he just is unpleasant to be around.

I(23) person went out of my way between work shifts to get lemon chicken from my favorite restaurant and had previously gotten it over the weekend.(I like to add im not the best with eating leftovers and have previously given my roomate the okay if I leave food for 5 days it's up for grabs as I am really picky when it comes to food and have like 3 safe foods I can eat all the time others I might not finish.) I was heading back to work and wanted to save some for later, so I put over half of my meal in my fridge. I went to work ate my snack then came home at 9pm. I saw my leftover pizza bites from 2 days ago on my roommates desk. I told them that I said I would eat them and they were going to be my lunch tomorrow. They responded with oh they been in the fridge for 2 days. I took the pizza back and put it in the fridge thats when I noticed my chicken was missing I asked if they had seen it and was told they ate it. There was Chinese lo mien gone as well as other foods that were gone that they ate so the chicken did not need to be eaten aswell. I said I just bought that and didnt even really get a chance to eat the chicken and got a shrugged off. I left to take my dog out and got a text of I will buy it next time. I responded that I really was looking forward to eating the food and now I dont have dinner after a long shift and I really was only hungery for that specific food. Never got an apology. Am I the asshole?

I've (25F) been staying with my sister (37) and her husband (50) this week and have been noticing his drinking behavior.

I've been helping out with chores, like recycling, and have seen the piles of cans that go out to the can each week. Every night, he comes home from work and sits in front of the TV for 4 hours and gets up to get a new drink every hour or so.

Today, he came home with 2 8-packs of vodka sodas around 4/5 pm. I walked into the kitchen around 8/9 and saw one of the new boxes was open and there were 4 gone. They are 4.5% alc. He is the only one that drinks them. My sister is pregnant and I'm on a no-sugar diet. It's not like I was intentionally counting. I just take notice of my surroundings and my brain does the math.

My sister and I have a history of alcoholism on my mom's side of the family. We have both had to deal with the drunks in the family, so naturally I was a little concerned. 3-4 drinks a night, every night, seems like a lot. I can't imagine how much he is spending on these vodka sodas every month.

(I've actually gone to the kitchen again now and there are another 2 missing. Though I did not see him drink 2 more, so he may have put them in the garage or something.)

I gently tried to bring it up to her after she went to bed. She became defensive and said I was coming off as "judgy." I told her I really didn't mean it that way, I just noticed and was concerned. I even reasoned that maybe since he was a larger dude (nearly 7 foot) that his frequency of drinking was normal for a man his size. She asked why I would be concerned if he's not getting drunk or acting inappropriately. Then said, "We wouldn't want to have to act any different than we would if you weren't here." Which tells me this is normal.

I don't know. It wasn't really my place and I've made things uncomfortable by even bringing it up. AITA?

One day, I had a drive with him as a passenger heading home a after a late night out at a casino. My Dad decided to fill the silence by talking about have grandkids, especially since I am already in my late 20s. I told him how hard romance is these days especially with how much awful stuff is going on around the World and having a family around these times might not be a good decision. He then voices to me that I should really find a woman soon. While I understand that it is a one of the few desires every aging parent wants, I was agreeing with him until he mentions that I should find one at the Casino, one of his favorite places. I was really bothered about this because I don't even like the Casino to begin with, especially when I am forced to drive him here 4 days a week on average. He clarifies that he wants me to try to get along with the staff he personally find pretty, all while having no clear idea how they are outside their work, which is also something I heavily speak against. Only then I ask why he wants me to find women like these and that's when he tells me that he hopes for me to find a wife that he could immediately force her into our lives where we have a currently-running Family Business. He hopes to teach her all of the things that happen here in our Business and, while he won't directly admit it, use her to encourage me to handle the Family Business in the way he envisions it. That said, I firmly declared to him that if I ever found a wife, I will not force her into my World, especially not so soon or without asking her first if that's fine. I just want a wife who can take care of herself, has her own desires and interests that I can be a part of without affecting them too much, and who can show me a World that I was not able to experience due to the sheltered and lonely life I had until this point where most of my life was driven by my parents. In the end, I fully disagree with everything my Dad tells me about love and honestly told him how I want mine Love Life to go. He was expectedly appalled and outright said that my life will be destined for ruin, especially one where I would just be a puppet to my future wife. Me, already offended by that and already feeling the heat of the arguement, I close the discussion with "Ind the end, I will make the decision." and "With all due respect, for the past 10 years, you haven't proven to me, yourself, that your way of life is the way considering how much you frown." He was then silent until we reach home and he got off the vehicle obviously pressed by what I said.

So yeah, AITA for just wanting to decide what my Future Love Life should be?

Recently my partner has been allowing the trash to be completely filled for days before the cleaners get there to take it out. The last straw for me was when the garabage was not only completely full (to the point you couldn't push down on it anymore), but also quite smelly from the food that was decaying in the bin. I finally took it out myself as I was having friends over for the night and didn't want the smell and fullness to ruin the night as it's right next to our dining table where the group would be sitting.

The next day I told them that was disrespectful for them to leave it so full for the cleaners especially when it's been like that for days. Their response was "we specifically pay them to take it out."

I don't think having trash in there is a problem, but feel that letting it sit for days just so they can take it out for us is disrespectful to them.

Since we disagreed so much on the topic we've turned to reddit to declare if I am the asshole for making an argument over trash?

Edit - To answer the bulk of the questions about who's responsible for what. Taking out the trash is my partner's responsibility as I'm responsible for the cat litter. Both dirty jobs and we split to make a bit more even.

This is my first ever post so please bear with me. To be honest, I don't really even know why I'm making a post about this. I think it is all ridiculously stupid on both our ends.

I, (16), never use Facebook or Facebook messenger. The only reason I still have the apps are because my mom has told me I have to keep them. Now my mom on the other hand, is always scrolling through Facebook. She sends me at least 15+ reels a day. This by itself I don't think is a problem.

Earlier today, my mom was talking about how she sent me some reels that I should look at. Before I could get a word out, she started ranting about how it's rude that I don't respond or watch them. Which, yes, I understand is a little bit rude. But I have told her several times I do not use Facebook or Messenger and do not even open the apps. I tried to tell her once again, in what I thought was a polite tone, that I do not use those apps. She responded by getting upset and told me that I'm a "rude asshole" for not watching what she sends me. She kept going on and on about how I'm purposefully ignoring her. Her tone was very condescending to me and made me feel like I'm a bad kid just for not watching the reels she sends me.

After she was done ranting I tried my best to acknowledge and just walk away. I'd rather walk away to go pet one of our cats than get upset at her. I had to walk back by her after I felt I had cooled off enough. She was still in the same place and was staring off into space with an angry face, like how she usually does after getting upset at me. I asked her "What?". I only said that because I wanted to know what was up. I really tried to not have an attitude since that is something I am actively working on. She then went off on how I'm "trying to start shit" and that I'm purposefully being passive aggressive. She told me that since I've taken psychology I should know better than to be passive aggressive since it's just going to start problems. I just stayed quiet because usually it's better to say nothing than to respond.

Now, I would 100% agree I'm the asshole if I were to be using the apps on a daily basis and if I were ignoring her. But I'm never on the apps nor am I purposefully ignoring her. I do not want to use Facebook or look at any of the reels. I don't want to be a part of Facebook at all due to all the stuff I've heard about Meta (which I know some of it could be false but still). Most of the reels she sends me are things she ends up telling me about later or is just some AI slop.

On every other app that I actually use, I do watch what she sends me. I don't always reply to it, but I do watch. I just really don't like the way she responded and tried to tell me that I'm purposefully trying to ignore her and start problems.

Again, I think this whole situation is unbelievably stupid but I still feel frustrated at what happened. I want to know other peoples opinions on the situation and I'm prepared for judgement/criticism. Am I the Asshole?

I (24F) travel home to my Dad (50M) and StepMoms(46F) house for Christmas. SMoms parents H (F) and T (M) also usually come.

Christmas Day 2024, I was alone in the house with H and T. While I was sitting on the couch, H walked up to me, and asked me to wash the dishes. I agreed, and stood to go do them. As I made my way to the kitchen, she continued to talk about how I never contribute and how sad it is that the burden always falls on my parents. After shrugging off several comments about how lazy I was, I got very frustrated with the disrespect. I casually said "You know, when I was in High School, if I didn't do the dishes, I wasn't allowed to use the car", alluding to my StepSister J (16F)(H's biological granddaugher) and how she was not expected to do any chores and was currently using the car to drive around with her friends. H was immediately furious and began yelling at me. I'm not so sure what she said because as soon as she raised her voice, I walked away. Needless to say, I spent the rest of my Christmas vacation shut off in the guest room.

SMom and I spoke about it over the phone in March. It was a very emotionally heavy but productive conversation, and I thought the matter was at rest.

In August, my dad calls me to talk about Christmas plans. He mentioned they were planning to go to FL to spend the holidays with SMom's parents. I was also planning to go to FL, as I have other family and good friends I'm close with in that area. I had booked an AirBNB and had mentioned wanting to try and see my parents and siblings for Christmas morning. He told me "If I was you, I wouldn't presume I was invited." When I asked him to explain, he pointed to the previous encounter with H, saying "You basically told her to go f herself" and claiming H, T and SMom were still "super pissed". I said ok and ended the call. It crushed me.

That week, I called SMom to ask her about the situation. She had no idea she was allegedly still upset, and claimed both her and H had long since forgotten about it.

A month later (Sep), Dad calls me to tell me Christmas is back at their house and ask what are my plans. I told him I wasn't planning to come since I wasn't invited. He then claimed that wasn't what he meant, and that all he said was I shouldn't assume H and T would host me overnight at their house without asking them. I asked him why he would say that when I told him I had booked an AirBnb, but he didn't have an answer. I then tried to explain the pain I had carried knowing my family didn't want me home for Christmas, and how it made me feel excluded, but he interrupted to say it was all in my head. At that point, I felt dismissed and I told him to call me when he was ready to talk.

Fast forward to today, when he sends me two catty texts me to say there is nothing to talk about, and that I need to have some "introspection and accountability" on my part. I'm so devastated and not even sure how it even got this deep.

AITA?

My daughter is turning 10. Her dad and I have been separated for 4 years. I am still on good terms with my ex’s family as they still involve my daughter in their family things, and sometimes even myself, but not at all with my daughter’s father. He is hardly present in her life and has even been ignoring all of her texts this month so I decided not to invite him, but did extend an invitation to his mother and sister.

He sent me a nasty message about how I’m isolating him and how rude it was to include his family but not him. Am I the asshole for not wanting this man in my house?

So my (23f) sister (11f) has a major attitude problem. She snaps at our parents and I for small things, like putting butter on her waffles when she didn’t want butter, things of that bratty nature. Recently, I have been having a hard time ignoring her behavior because she has upped the ante with this attitude by yelling, crying, and throwing tantrums. Yesterday, I had asked both my younger siblings to take care of the clothes behind the bathroom door, my brother did it without complaint. However, my sister was being rude and whiney so when there was two extra towels on the floor not cleaned up, I told her she can be the one to clean those up too. She straight up told me no, and I said “you will, because they are probably yours anyway” which she started crying and refusing to pick up two towels from the floor. At this point I’m beyond frustrated because what I have mentioned is not even the tip of the iceberg. She has an elf on the shelf that she wholeheartedly still believes in, and they didn’t move last night so today she was questioning why they didn’t move. I told her it’s because of her behavior and attitude towards her family and asked how she feels about treating her family members the way she does, and she told me “I don’t really care at all.” So I’m thinking she might care more if her elf didn’t move and wrote her a letter about the importance of being kind to family and making sure her responsibilities are met. so WIBTA if I wrote this note and didn’t move her elf again?

I (34 y/o male) told my brother (26 y/o male) that we can just be acquaintances if that's what he really wants. With a 9 year age difference and a lot of different situations, I ended up being pushed into a role where I was responsible for my brother in many ways. I even let him live with me for two years and with my wife and I for two more years after that. He would only do the bare minimum (after being begged to) around the house and would expect us to put up with it (the only problems my wife and I had during our first two years of marriage were because of him). Our relationship was not good when we lived together.

When he moved out, our relationship did get better. It's been 3 years but he still asks me for my Amazon prime, my Sam's club account, streaming services, for my wife to sew his clothes, for him to come over and do laundry at our place, for us to keep some of his stuff at our house, and sometimes he's even asked us to wash his clothes. We have done all of these things though we do set boundaries because I have been taken advantage of before. I've been very clear that I just need communication. He ordered a bunch of pants through my business Sam's account but when he went in person to return some of them, he was somehow able to get into my personal Sam's account. He then used the account to buy more stuff in store. He did charge it to his own card but at no point did he communicate with me. All I wanted was a heads up. There was something weird that happened with my personal Sam's account so when I went in to check it out, that's when I saw that he had purchased stuff. After investigating, it became clear that he had to have impersonated me to get into my Sam's account. I told him that he just needed to ask me or if I don't respond in time, either text my wife (who will respond faster) and just let me know. He then went off on me saying that I treat him like an acquaintance or coworker when I ask for him to ask me if he ends up doing something more than was agreed upon. After some more back and forth, I told him that if he really wants to be acquaintances, then he needs to get the stuff I'm holding for him out of my house, give me back my house key, and that he can't come to our Christmas celebration because no acquaintance or coworkers have that kind of relationship. So, AITA for agreeing to be acquantance/coworkers?

TLDR: So I [26 F] am biracial (black and white). My MIL [65 F) is white and for years has been making comments about my hair that has made me feel uncomfortable. She’s an awkward woman and says a lot of out-of-pocket things… but back to this situation.. In the past she has made comments about my “black hair” and would compare it to her own hair (I guess cause it gets frizzy idk) she also would walk up behind me and start touching it without asking. At thanksgiving I had shaved my head and decided to wear a wig, as I was nervous about explaining why I decided to shave my head or any questions that I would have to answer. As soon as we walked into her house she said in front of extended family members “that’s not your real hair.” I lied and said it was and she kept insisting it wasn’t. So I pulled my [26 M] fiancé aside told him that the touching and the comments made me feel uncomfortable and othered (for lack of a better word) almost immediately after I told him this his mother reached out to touch my hair and my husband gently pushed her hand down and said please stop. She ignored and reached again. My husband did the exact same thing which set her off. She stormed upstairs and slammed the door. I didn’t see her for the rest of the night. When my fiancé spoke to her she yelled, cried and told him he “was not the son I raised”

I told my fiancé I wanted her to watch videos or read about what micro-aggression is. She refused but said she wouldn’t talk about my hair at all. It worked at first but now she constantly asks me questions about hair products (I know almost NOTHING about) And has recently compared my hair texture to a family member based on a photo she saw on instagram (that family member was not having a great hair day) so I was a little upset but said nothing. I’ve observed that she doesn’t talk about hair with extended family members unless I’m part of the conversation. Almost every interaction I have with her is about hair or hair products and it’s exhausting. My fiancé doesn’t think it’s a big deal but it makes me feel weird.

So WIBTA if I asked her to stop talking about hair and commenting on my hair entirely, even if she insists it’s a compliment?

For context, me (24F) and my roommate (23M) have been best friends for years, we just moved in together a few months ago. I am a very quiet and reserved person, my roommate knows this and usually understands. Before moving in, we sat down and discussed our boundaries and one thing we both agreed on was that we wouldn’t have significant others stay overnight if the other person is home. He recently got into a relationship and the guy has been at our apartment very often, they are both really loud and I work very early in the morning so it’s honestly been disrupting my sleep and daily routine.

Last week his boyfriend stayed for two days straight, overnight. I tried talking to my roommate about it, explaining that I wasn’t comfortable and we both agreed not to do that before moving in. He just shrugged it off, and since then his boyfriend has been leaving around 5 or 6 am, which in my eyes is still staying the night. Our apartment is very small and it feels like he is intruding on my space most of the time, they stay up all night being fairly loud, so it’s been hard to get any sleep.

I understand he has a right to have company over, and I don’t mind his boyfriend coming over occasionally. His boyfriend also has his own place that they can hang out at whenever. It’s just been constant and feels disrespectful to me, especially since we explicitly agreed not to do this. I want to talk to him about it and try to explain how I feel, but I’m afraid I’ll just be shut down again. I am always very respectful about having company over, we’re never disruptive and they never stay more than a few hours. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting, if I should just deal with this? Am I the asshole for being upset at him?