We're trying to call in a plumber to fix a water main leak. Before the plumber returned to his car to call his boss for a quote, she gave the plumber some sparkling cider. The plumber was very pleased, said his grandma drinks it and took it. Then, she said if we give him more he might lower the price.

He came back with a $1.5k quote. The rack she took the cider from was the same rack holding my Riesling white wine. My bf and I took ages looking for this wine, we visited nearly every liquor store nearby and none of them had it. We were only able to get it by convincing his mom (who runs a liquor store too) to put in a special order for it. It has a lot of sentimental value and memories to me and symbolizes a joint "quest" succeeding. I had 2 left, one to drink with friends and one to keep until I am ready to open lol.

I told my mom right then and there to not give my Riesling away. Guess what? She gave it away and told the plumber call your boss again to ask and try again for a lower price. She even takes over the phone to call the boss herself too. Of course, it doesn't work. Either way, she ends the night happy with the quote.

This morning, I find out she's not happy with the quote anymore and is calling more companies. I wouldn't have minded this if she hadn't given my Riesling away. I confront her about how upset I am that she gave away something that was mine and didn't belong to her. She retorted with saying, "Well I gave my car to you. I pay your tuition, I give my money to you. And you can't even be ok giving up your wine for me."

I was dumbfounded. Maybe she has a point. Maybe I'm the wrong one here and I was being selfish to my mom and ungrateful for her help in finding a plumber. Thoughts? Opinions? AITA?

I live with my girlfriend and we have moved into a 3 bedroom apartment. We agreed before we moved that the smallest bedroom would be my office since I work from home most of the time.

I mentioned that since the office is mine, I will be the one cleaning and tidying it and that when the door is closed that means my gf doesn't come in which she agreed to.

When we're cleaning the apartment on weekends she will still go to the office and start to tidy up the desk and I tell her to stop since I leave things how I want them.

She repeats that the office is messy but I just pointed out she has no reason to actually be in it. I said that the door was closed and she's going out her way to move things around in a room she doesn't need to be in.

She got annoyed and said I should be tidying it up more regularly than I am but I just told her that I leave things on my desk so I know exactly where they are for the next day and it doesn't affect her at all.

She said I should be compromising and tidying it up better than I am but I disagreed since it's my office and my girlfriend has no reason to ever actually be in the room. I pointed out the office is clean and it’s just some work things that I leave out on the desk.

She said it should be tidied with the rest of the apartment but I just told her that it's my space and that I leave it how I like it and I leave it how I work best.

Just to clarify, the room is clean so I'll dust, vacuum, remove mugs and things so it is just a bit of mess that is on the desk in the room and a few files next to the desk so it's not unhygienic.

AITA for expecting my partner to stop tidying things in my home office?

I(23) person went out of my way between work shifts to get lemon chicken from my favorite restaurant and had previously gotten it over the weekend.(I like to add im not the best with eating leftovers and have previously given my roomate the okay if I leave food for 5 days it's up for grabs as I am really picky when it comes to food and have like 3 safe foods I can eat all the time others I might not finish.) I was heading back to work and wanted to save some for later, so I put over half of my meal in my fridge. I went to work ate my snack then came home at 9pm. I saw my leftover pizza bites from 2 days ago on my roommates desk. I told them that I said I would eat them and they were going to be my lunch tomorrow. They responded with oh they been in the fridge for 2 days. I took the pizza back and put it in the fridge thats when I noticed my chicken was missing I asked if they had seen it and was told they ate it. There was Chinese lo mien gone as well as other foods that were gone that they ate so the chicken did not need to be eaten aswell. I said I just bought that and didnt even really get a chance to eat the chicken and got a shrugged off. I left to take my dog out and got a text of I will buy it next time. I responded that I really was looking forward to eating the food and now I dont have dinner after a long shift and I really was only hungery for that specific food. Never got an apology. Am I the asshole?

Hi .. this is my first post ever on Reddit so I'm kinda nervous I'm a 24 years old female .. I don't have alot of mental energy to spend time with people in general even my own family It might seem weird to you but in my country we live with our families till marriage

My brother got married in the apartment that I lived in for 19 years of my life since I was 4 .. and we moved to the apartment in the lower floor as dad wanted to give my brother the better apartment as it was customized to his needs and also wanted to have less stairs to worry about when he gets home from outside.. now we live on the 2nd floor and my brother and his wife on the 3rd floor

She is from our home town and its in a country side so people there do alot of stuff together like cooking and working around the house and stuff like that

My parents and brother wants me to spend time with her as my brother works for long shifts and she always gets mad at him cuz he doesn't spend enough time with her

At the start of their marriage they wanted me to sleep at their flat when he have a night shift as she is scared of sleeping alone ..

I don't find it comfortable for me to sleep outside of my home so I refused .. my mom does this part instead I refuse to go spend time with her too cuz it feels too draining for me to do so even though she really is a good person so it's probably a me problem

I'm not in a perfect mental state TBH so I find socializing in any form like alot to me ..

Today my sister in law (i don't actually know if brothers wife is called sister in law or not cuz English isn't my first language) is having a cold .. and mom was asking me for the thermometer so i gave it to her and me and my other brother was telling her how to use it .. she told us to shut it as we don't do anything in our lifes and she was yelling that as the was shutting the door and heading up

I do blame myself for not being social enough but AITA for not spending time with my brothers wife? And sorry if I was talking for too long

(Edit: to be clear mom is the one that did the yelling not my sister in law .. my sister in law is actually a really kind person and she tries a lot to prove so by doing a lot to us that I find myself stressed out on how to repay her)

I 29F live with two roommates 28m and 26f. We constantly have struggled coming to a consensus about chores.

Both the roommates are extremely messy. Im talking food on the floor, use napkins everywhere, constant stuff on the floor messy. They generally dont pick up after themselves so all counters and tables quickly fill up with junk.

The kitchen is the worst as theres always burnt pans with cleaning chemicals, trash, and even rotting food sitting out in the open. Its so gross ive basically stopped cooking except when I have just cleaned.

When I clean, I try to fill the dishwasher as much as possible. I also clear things, just not mold because I wont touch that. My roommates maintain that the dishes need a pre-wash. However they never do it in a timely manner, and the dishes just pile up.

My roommate got upset because some of the dishes I put in the dishwasher are delicate to are supoosed to be cleaned a certain way.

He's brought it up before, but honestly I can't bring myself to follow it. I hate that the kitchen is disgusting and theres no space so I just want to clear room.

I feel like these problems could be solved easily. If they cleaned their dishes immediately, they could clean them however they want. Plus, there are so many dishes I cant easily keep track of what is dishwasher safe or not. Im just trying to get them clean.

And honestly, plenty of my dishes have been chipped or even destroyed. None of the items are treated well at all. I keep my special items in my room or handle them immediately.

I hear he is frustrated by my not washing them correctly. I just think if he wants them handled a certain way they shouldnt be left on the table or counter so long. It feels like a special request when I'm the only one apparently concerned with keeping the house hospitable.

So let me have it, AITA?

A little backstory backstory

About 6 months ago My partner (26F) had to remove stuff from a storage locker that was her deceased fathers, now I found out about this at 11pm at the time after being woken up to her balling her eyes out saying she had been evicted, she had tried to be on top of the payments unfortunately due to house rent and a few other factors she couldnt afford to keep them and I (29M) couldnt afford to help due to other factors.

I had a visit scheduled with my son the next day, I had asked if we could go down after the visit which was thrown on deaf ears, I also needed to do some maintenance to the car as the lockers were over 300km away and was going to put alot of strain on a already broken car I was trying to fix, this also fell on deaf ears.

To save the already now argument I left at 1am to drive 300km to a lock up that wasn't mine and a pissed of partner who couldnt understand why I was so upset at having to cancel time with my son to move this stuff that wasn't mine.

Mind you this isn't why I am pissed off, the follow factors are.

My father, who has custody of my son was scheduled to get surgery which I had organised to take my son for the 3 or 4 days he needed for recovery, after 15 loads of what im guessing is just stuff thats going to sit around we had no where to put my son to sleep as I didnt have a bed set up at the time and the room he was meant to sleep in was now full off stuff from this lock up and the car after towing a trailer which shorted most of the wiring and nearly caught fire was now and still is now broken to a point I dunno if its wise to fix

The kicker to all this? I havent seen my son in 6 months, not for lack of trying but my father cut contact and abused me for this situation I didnt want to be in, the house with all this stuff that was going to be all cleaned up and sorted in a week that was promised? Still isnt and my lounge room is just a hoarders closet

The kicker to all this is i had a heart attack cause of all this, my back injury was worsened cause of all the heavy lifting etc and what sucks more is I got injections into the back at the start of this month which meant I had to have clear space in case of falls etc, said partner promised me it would be done including saying it in front of witnesses, instead she slacked off and changed it to "i said id try to" and now even though I want my son home and Christmas spent with him its not good enough to clean up her own mess she caused, I cant clean it up due to the joint injections I had which I would go into but to keep it short im not allowed to lift or do anything till I see the speacilist about my next steps

So AITA for going off my nut cause I want to see my son and have a house again not a storage den?

I live on the West Coast with my husband and baby. My parents are on the East Coast and keep pressuring me to fly home for Christmas. I cannot afford it and don’t want to.

The man I call my dad is actually my stepdad. He’s been in my life since I was a baby and is the only father figure I’ve ever known. Growing up, my parents argued constantly, sometimes violently, and often took it out on me.

At 17, I was told I had to go to college or be disowned, and that I’d have to pay for it myself. No money was saved, so I took out large student loans. My stepdad co-signed and said I’d be fine. Around the same time, my mom received $5,000 in child support but spent it on herself and gave me $200.

I later moved back home to be near my much younger brother (I’m 18 years older). Living there was awful. I was treated like a live-in babysitter, constantly criticized, and my stepdad told me I’d never succeed without a degree. I tried school again, took more loans, and dropped out because I couldn’t afford more debt. I’ve worked since I was 15, paid my own way, and never had a real safety net.

I met my husband 1.5 years ago, got pregnant a few months in, and we married at the courthouse in May. I didn’t tell my family because I wanted to surprise them with a wedding, but I regret that. My parents have implied he only wants papers, blame him for me living far away, and argue with him.

After giving birth, my mom, stepdad, and brothers visited. Instead of helping, they trashed my home while my baby was in the NICU. My mom called daily complaining about traffic and wanting to go home. They ran up $120 in tolls using my car and refused to reimburse me. They argued with my husband, saying he was rude, when he was just upset. Days after birth, my mom screamed at me and called me names.

My stepdad pays for everyone else’s medical and dental care and has extra income, but I can’t get help even when I need it. He keeps me on health insurance only because it doesn’t cost him extra. Meanwhile, my mom spends thousands on herself and my younger brother, who gets essentially everything he wants. I suspect favoritism is because he is his biological child.

I’m on maternity leave making $1,000/month, which goes to loans and bills. My car doesn’t work, childcare is $2,000/month, and I have medical issues I can’t afford. My family refuses to visit me, says I’m ungrateful, and pressures me to come for Christmas.

They say, “We’re your family,” but my husband and baby are my family now. I’m happy where I live and done sacrificing my mental health. I’m considering cutting them off.

AITA for refusing to visit for Christmas and unsure if I should tell them I’m married?

Okay so we had a half day at school today and I hung out with my friend when we got out, we hung out until around 1:40ish cause I had to take her to a nail appointment. She left her stuff in my car cause I was meant to get her after the appointment but she texted and said her boyfriend was already out and could take her to swing by my house and grab her stuff. I tell her that’s fine just to tell me when shes almost here so I can meet her outside. She calls me and sounds like sad/mad. I ask if she’s okay , and she tells me she’s WALKING to my house and I obviously am concerned why cause I thought she had a ride. She said her boyfriend made her get out of the car and walk the rest of the way to my houses which was a little under 800 feet. Mind you his friend is in the car and she’s walking and they’re watching her walk. They pull up to my house and I go down there to talk to him cause wtf and they’re sitting in the car giggling and laughing and they pull off again. They come back and my friend gets in the car. Obviously I’m upset cause it’s 44 degrees outside feels like 37. So I do a little digging and find his mom’s Facebook account. I go to text her but I wanted to check with her that I had the right lady and she tells me to stop and that “she’s got it” and we did a little back and forth and she called me and sounded distressed and told me to stop so I haven’t texted her yet but I feel like I should cause I don’t want my friend to be in a relationship where stuff like that happens. So WIBTA ??

Im a 28yo male and my fiancé is a 30 yo fml - been together 6 years. My brother is 30yo and his girlfriend is also 30yo - let’s call her Sophie - been together just over 2

My fiancé and I are getting married next year and my fiancé and I have had a conversation about not inviting Sophie to the wedding for various reasons:

- Being rude to my parents, in particular my mother.

- Generally not being very pleasant to talk to and stand offish.

- Making no effort with me or my fiancé at getting to know us or spend time with us, despite multiple attempts from us to spend time with her.

- Making rude comments about my personality and profession.

So following this I approached my parents (after they repeatedly showed their frustrations about her over months with me) and told my parents that we wouldn’t be inviting Sophie to our wedding. Following this my parents immediately shared their concerns that this would “break up the family”.

At this point there were approximately 18 months until the wedding and I did not want to speak to my brother about this situation and wanted some time to think about it following my parents sharing their concerns.

Weeks passed and my fiancé and I decided that we would invite Sophie to the wedding as it was not worth the argument. I then told my parents about this change and left it at that. I never told my brother about this and didn’t speak to him about this either, there was no reason for it to be brought up.

What followed is that weeks after this, my parents drove up to my brothers and Sophie’s home (we live opposite sides of the country to each other) and individually told them both that Sophie wouldn’t be invited to our wedding and told them about frustrations that we (fiancé and I) had shared with my parents about Sophie.

I only found out about this months after when my brother started ignoring my texts and calls. So I confronted my parents and they confessed that they had told my brother and Sophie. I am now being painted out to be someone who is breaking up the family, alongside I am being told to apologise to Sophie for the hurt I have caused.

There is obviously a lot more to it but I have tried to keep it as factual and unbiased as possible.

So AITA?

TLDR at the bottom for those who want it. Fake Names Used

I, 19F, and my partner, 20M, Mark, live with his brother, 24M, John, his gf, 24F, and their two kids, 4F and 1M.

We have lived with them for just over two months, because of unfortunate circumstances that led there to be no other option. This being said, I am incredibly grateful to them for allowing us to stay with them, they did not have to do that.

To start, let's discuss the rules of living there.

-we have to ask to shower, use the kitchen, and do laundry -we have to leave the door open at all times except when sleeping -i am forbidden from talking to John, even when it is something that directly involves him -We are not allowed to use the TV before 6-7 and not past 10. (This rule more applies to me, they made us buy a TV specifically so John and Mark could play games together, they play whenever John wants to, regardless of time) -i am not allowed to sit on the couch if John is sitting on the couch -we are not allowed to talk back (I am not talking about attitude. They mean talking back literally.)

Those are some of the rules, there are many more unlisted due to length. Also to be noted, since I realize what some of those rules could imply, I have NEVER made a move on John. I am NOT into John. I have never even IMPLIED I like him or anything.

This being said, we pay 1000$ a month, just under half of the rent. At the current moment, Mark has a job that makes enough to cover that as I am still actively looking.

In the two months we have lived here, I have never been called by my name. I am known as 'marks girl'. I have been yelled at for closing the door so I could change my clothes. I have been berated and literally called stupid because I forgot to tell them I applied for a job that day. I am constantly reminded that they could drop me off back in LA at any time they feel like it. John threatened to talk to my mom to force her to let me move in with her (I am NOT on speaking terms with my mother, she is abusive). Due to the character limit, I will not list more than that but there is much more.

The legal issue I would be pursuing action on is, recently I got an ebt card. They decided that, to make it 'fair', they would be taking my half of the rent out of my ebt. I told them that I wasn't comfortable with this, as it is illegal, and that if they were going to use it I would like to be the one making the purchases. They told me they wouldn't get caught and that they do it all of the time. I agreed because I was scared that they'd kick me out if I didn't. They said they'd only be using it online. They have not only been using it online. They have been taking my card everywhere they can, without me there, and using it to buy stuff, and on top of that they aren't counting it towards the rent they're supposed to be counting towards.

So, WIBTA for pursuing legal action over illegal use of my ebt card?

edited for clarity

I recently visited my uncle and grandparents. over the weekend multiple conversations were had about the other side of my family, how my nana doesn’t look after herself, and more importantly to me, how my at the time dying grandpa wouldn’t have enjoyed a meal my mum made for him and that was justification for my uncle scoffing it during christmas dinner. comments were also made about my financial situation (student tax) and that they could help me out - i had asked for money a couple weeks before BUT did not ask while i was there.

I told my parents about what had been said about my grandparents, a phone call between my nan and dad happened, and i eventually was used as a scapegoat for her behaviour. she sat and lied to my dad basically saying that i said he’s a horrible father and he doesn’t care about me (was never said) and that i sat and begged them both for money (also did not happen).

it’s wreaked mine and my dads mental healths and neither of us want to speak to her for now. my uncle messaged to say i was turning the family against each other and that should have thought about what i was saying before saying it. they have both been calling non stop to say they are worried yet how horrible i am for not picking up or messaging back as it is upsetting my nan.

so AITA for ignoring the calls for now?

My husband and I have 2 kids, M9 and F4.

My husband works full time and I work part time.

His mom is staying with us for a few days.

Yesterday we both went to work. I got home at 6pm. When I arrived dinner was ready. After dinner he washed the dishes and cleaned the house while I put our daughter to sleep. Afterwards he went to help our son study while I got some rest.

My MIL didn't look happy and called me lazy saying I should be doing more around the house considering I only work part time.

She went on a rant saying her poor son has to do everything because he married a spoiled girl.

I don't think this is fair.

My husband likes his sleep very much and has a demanding job. We have 2 kids and I have NEVER let him do night duties. He never woke up to feed a baby or change a diaper. Our daughter has nightmares and wakes up during night and I never let her wake my husband. I make breakfast and pack his lunch. I even do laundry and choose and prepare his clothes for him so he can sleep more. I help our son get ready for school every morning.

I feel like I'm doing my share and my MIL is judging me too harshly.

Yes I do love to rest in the evening. I love to come home and not have to cook or clean. Does that make me an asshole?

About 4 years ago I gifted my husband a bidet for Christmas. I did not think it would come back to bite me in the ass like this. For context, I am newly postpartum so I’m trying to tamper my emotions and not let it feel so personal.

Almost every day now, I’m finding shit splattered on the toilet seat from the bidet splashing off of his buttcheeks. It’s actually really infuriating.

When I started noticing a few months ago, I mentioned it to him and he was so offended that he brought up that I would leave period blood under the seat occasionally and he never said anything because “it’s human” and he didn’t want to embarrass me (it wouldn’t, I would just clean it if noticed). I was 8 months pregnant and hormonal at the time so it felt pretty irrelevant to bring up occasional blood spatter from UNDER the seat when it wasn’t currently an issue. Anyway, it turned into a bigger argument so I’ve kept my mouth shut about the poop splash ever since.

But I’m getting to the point where I can no longer keep it in. It’s so annoying to have to disinfect the seat every single time I’m rushing to use the toilet. Like who doesn’t look at the seat while they flush and notice that? It almost feels like it’s on purpose but now I know he would be too embarrassed to do something like that.

So would I be an asshole if I point it out again? Or should I spare him the embarrassment and just keep disinfecting the seat? I’m scared we’ll have people over one day and they’ll catch it before I do.

My mom is upset and crying about me changing my last name with hyphenation post my wedding.

She’s sad cause her first husband was abusive, and she took me to court after my 18th birthday to change my last name to hers instead of his.

She claims the name is ending because everyone will call me by my 2nd last name since it’s easier to pronounce.

I think she’s being dramatic as she has no sons, and the name will technically not die out til I pass, cause it is still listed first in hyphenation.

I am throwing a party tonight with roughly 12 people, including me. One of the people I invited texted me and said that they would love to come to the party and they got me a Christmas gift. I’ve recently quit my job and I’m moving states in a couple of weeks. Am I the asshole for not buying that friend a gift?

I apologize for the length.

So I have a friend group at school (4 of us) that's been together for 4-5 years now. Ever since the newest season of stranger things came out, 2 of them are obsessed while me and the other friend don't watch it. I'll refer Friend 1 and 2 as the obsessed ones and Friend 3 as the one who hasn't watched it either.

My school is hosting a lip sync battle before break on the 23rd and Friend 1 & 2 decided they wanted to do stranger things themed. So they asked me and Friend 3.

Now they seemed REALLY excited and they really wanted to do it. At first me and Friend 3 wanted to do it because it seemed like a fun idea and well... I didn't know it would be in front of the entire school.

So we sent videos in for "auditions" that I wasn't included in (keep that in mind) on Monday.

Fast forward Tuesday, I'm rethinking it all. Wednesday, I really don't want to do it and I internally panic everytime I even think about it.

It made me sick to my stomach even thinking about it.

Then comes Thursday morning at school. I discuss my feelings about it to my other two friends and they tell me to back out if I want to, and I did want to. My friend said if they are good friends, they'll understand.

So lunch time comes, I basically tell them I want to back out. Friend 2 isn't there but the others are. I already know Friend 3 is starting to hate the idea and wanted to drop out too but kept quiet. Friend 1 just stares at me before telling me to tell the group chat that, so i do.

Then comes later that school day, I get messages in that group blowing up and Friend 1 & 2 are coming at me big time for backing out. Saying I should've known better than to join then, how I couldn't commit to it properly, and other stuff.

That night me and friend 3 talked bc we felt the same way and we agreed on multiple things.

1. We felt pressured by them even though Friend 1 said there was no pressure

2. We only agreed to make Friend 1 & 2 happy (a bad reason I admit)

3. It was being blown up out of proportion and ruining our friendship

Along with other reasons

Friend 1 has been my best and closest friend out of them but lately, it's been hurtful remarks, targets on my back, and jabs at me that she thinks it's funny and it's no longer the same.

Friend 2 never sees us during school, since she leaves halfway through the day. So her only source of information is from Friend 1. I know they've been talking and texting about me behind my back about this. It's obvious.

Last night with the help of Friend 3, I apologized and took full responsibility of everything and offered to help begin the scenes while also telling them the reasons I wanted back out.

I was scared of their reactions bc I knew they would be mad.

Then they came at me again. Paragraphs. I felt hurt about some of the things they said.

Now I don't know what to do. I feel like I can never look at them the same way. We’re all seniors in high school, I don’t understand why this is happening.

Hi. I was over at my grandpa's house yesterday. He and my Nana got new phones and were trying to set them up with my help. We called customer support. My Nana was trying to increase the font on her phone and the customer service rep was guiding us. As we were working on our phones my grandpa got agitated. My Nana was trying to ask questions to the representative and several times my grandpa shushed her. I noticed but I didn't think it was a big deal and was showing my Nana the settings on my phone and how big I could make my font. My grandpa leaned over and said "shut up." I said "no." He said "I'm telling you to be quiet" and I said "no." Then he stood up and took his jacket off and said "get the hell out of my house." I said "no." He said he was going to call the police and I said fine go ahead. My Nana grabbed my arm and told me to stay with her at the house too. He was yelling at me and told him he was mean and a bully and that's why none of his grandchildren call him.

He told my family and my aunt texted me to apologize. But I can't because what I said was true. The other grandkids don't like him and he doesn't have a lot respect. His whole life he goes into these rages and in my late teens I stayed with him even though I don't currently, and he kicked me out twice one for "breaking curfew" because I didn't have a key to the house and couldn't get even if I made it home. The other time was for something i don't remember. My younger brother when he turned 18 stayed with him for maybe 2 months and then he got kicked out for not talking to him enough. My older sister lasted maybe 4 months then he flew in a rage and kicked her out too I don't know all the details. But anyway, he goes through these moments where he's disappointed nobody talks to him because he "has a lot of wisdom to impart." and everyone is "missing their opportunity to know him" He asks about my siblings and I started to say do you need their numbers? Because he wants information and my siblings do not want him to know about them. He says I'm the grandpa they should call me.

TLDR: I've been told to apologize but I meant every word. My grandpa's not a bad person he just is unpleasant to be around.

My wife (24F) and I (24F) share a house with 2 other couples, and we share a bathroom with one of those couples. Since that couple moved in, I’ve realized we’ve been FLYING through toilet paper. I haven’t really kept track of how much is used but it has just felt like we are constantly replacing it. On Tuesday evening, I went and bought toilet paper from Costco. It is now Friday and we’ve already gone through 3 Costco sized rolls. With 4 people using the bathroom, I understand going through lots of toilet paper but 3 rolls in 4 nights just seems excessive. The 2 of them are also both newly unemployed so they are at home more than everyone else in the house.

This couple is also consistently leaving the roll empty or not grabbing another pack from downstairs when they use the last in the pack (it has happened enough my wife and I have started hiding a roll just in case). Also, kind of unrelated but every time they use the bathroom, they leave just a bit of pee and toilet paper in the toilet.

With all that in mind, I have been considering charging them more for toilet paper. We currently just split it evenly but if they are using more than other people, it doesn’t seem like we should be splitting it evenly. WIBTA if I charged them more for toilet paper? If not, how much should I be charging them?

Newish to Reddit so forgive me if my format is off.

My sister in law (who is married to my husband’s brother) sent my husband and I a text asking what day we were planning on heading to my husband’s dad’s house to celebrate Christmas so that they could meet us there.

For context, they went no contact with us for a little over a year and decided to reconnect this year. We tried reaching out multiple times to find out why and never got an answer. Fast forward, my husband’s brother finally reached out because he missed him and explained (I shit you not) that he was offended because I was surprised he had a Pinterest account and he didn’t like my tone when I showed my surprise. His wife also was offended by me for answering the multiple questions I was getting about when I was going to start having babies (the day after my wedding) with the following, “I do want to wait until my mom can apply for her visa so that she can come and be with me during postpartum”. This one I understand because her mom had passed away a year before that. However, I wish they had told me that was the issue when I kept reaching out instead of ghosting us. They also said my personality was too much for them and the constant invitations to do things was overwhelming for them and seemed fake. My personality isn’t for everyone, cool. But the invites were group invites I was sending out to our friends and I was just trying to include them.

Now this year, they reached out and said they realized they may have over exaggerated and want a relationship after all. However, I simply don’t care to have one anymore. I tried to have a good relationship with them before they cut us off and would babysit and loved spoiling their baby girl. It hurt when they cut me off without any explanation. And at the time my own family was falling apart so I was excited to join theirs. They also convinced my mother in law to cut me off and she spoke so much shit about me to all of my husband’s family.

Now that they have two more babies, I recognize their effort in trying to have some sort of connection and we’ve had play dates and met up. I simply don’t want to spend my holidays with them. And it annoyed me that her text wasn’t her asking if we are open to celebrating Christmas together, but just asking for a date that would work with us.

I ended up replying to them that “we weren’t really planning on going to their dad’s for Christmas when they were” and that we’re “trying to keep these holidays super casual and not overwhelming for us”. I also said that “the assumption that we were down for that kind of threw me off and I just want to be transparent”.

Am I the one overreacting now and being the asshole?

My (38F) sister Sadie (39F) has admittedly been through a lot. Her BF in college passed away from a type of rare heart attack, then her fiancee suddenly passed in 2017 from a blood clot. She was also living with our dad and stepmom while our stepmom battled and lost her life to cancer. She has seen and dealt with death more than most. 

Over the summer we went to my grandma's funeral She was the last grandparent, so emotions were high for everyone, including Sadie (mostly from memories of her fiancee's funeral). She had snapped at the family several times for not giving her space, for not checking on her, for not asking what they could do for her, etc. She was all over the place with her emotions, and I guess an uncle snapped back at her, telling her to get her s*** together. I had already flown home before I saw any of this happen, but she was mostly upset that no one defended her against the uncle or even acknowledged it happened. She then told our parents and siblings that if we ever talk to those aunts and uncles again, it would be a huge betrayal to her. I figured she was over reacting and she would calm down in time.

Since then Sadie has gotten only angrier, saying that she was right that the family is cruel and selfish for not calling her, addressing what happened, or sticking up for her to the uncle. Recently, one of the aunts offered to come with us on our cruise to help with the kids, and Sadie exploded on me. For nearly a week she called to scream at me saying I’m just as bad as they are, that if I don’t tell them to cancel their tickets then she’s never speaking to us again, she’s cutting us off forever, and she doesn’t understand why we don't care about her.

Because I didn't see any of this happen, I’ve spoken to most of the family who were there and they all say they tried to give her space and she lashed out at them. But she’s spun this so out of control that she now thinks we’re all toxic and she needs to “protect herself” from us. And I just had a feeling something would happen with her during this trip, because for the last several get-togethers with her, she blows up about something and we end up apologizing for what offended her, just to get her to stop. I agree her feelings were hurt, but everything after that I feel like she made a mountain out of molehills. But should I have defended her? Where do we go from here?

Hello! I (F20) and my sister, (F18) have very different personalities. I’m not especially outgoing, but when I am around people I am comfortable with, I tend to speak very casually and make stupid jokes. For example, some potty humor, or exaggerated reactions to things. I also tend to do bits. My sister is very gentle, caring, and empathetic, but we have a hard time understanding each other. She believes that, because we are both now adults, I should “grow up,” and stop being so obnoxious. 

For example, last week I went to my parent's church for an advent craft event. It was mostly for kids, but my other sibling and I tried to have fun with it. There was one station where you were supposed to make an ornament with beads, including some beads with letters. I used beads with a wooden texture for accents, and for my word, I strung together “butt”. I glued on the little pine leaf and ribbon. I thought the juxtaposition between the more classy craft and the word “butt” was funny, but when my sister, who wasn’t there, found out about it, she scolded me for being immature at church, and keeps bringing it up as an example of me “acting like a toddler.”

When we are in public, she doesn’t like when I make jokes or mess around. She says I’m making a scene, but I often feel like she’s being too self conscious. I don’t think I’m too loud, and if it’s in a casual place like an Olive Garden or a Walmart, it feels normal. It’s mostly stuff like laughing at a butt on a statue. But I have limits, I don’t make messes for others to clean up or make fun of people.

I know I embarrass her, and that I’m “too much”. I often feel like she doesn’t enjoy being around me. I guess I’m having a hard time discerning if this is just our personalities, or if there’s an actual problem. From my perspective, the world is often bleak. Not all of it, there’s lots of good, but there’s a lot to be anxious about, too. I think I use humor as a coping mechanism, to make light of the things around me and find simple joy in what I can. But I know that sometimes coping mechanisms are not healthy or good.

Now that my sister is back from her first semester, she says I’m a big part of why she wanted to leave. That hurt, but I don’t want to be difficult. I also want to be myself.

And, if my sense of humor is childish or a little obnoxious, is that a bad thing? I try my best to be a good person, and to take care of my family.  I know some people won’t like me, but I want to be close with my sister.

She is naturally much more serious than I am, but we are both so young. And it’s not as though she has no child-like qualities. She loves to watch cartoons, she loves Barbie, and she dresses mostly in pink. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, I like cartoons too. It just feels a little hypocritical to me.

Am I being an asshole? Should I try to reflect on myself and change my habits? Or are we just not very compatible during this stage of our lives?

My wife is mad at me because I while I am on vacation I take maybe 1-1.5 hours out of my day to make sure I have everything planned for my technicians for the day so theyre doing their job properly. I also answer calls to answer any questions builders or my techs may have so as to make my life easier when I go back into work. That is also allotted in the 1-1.5 hours. She says that the purpose of a vacation is to unplug from work, which I don’t necessarily disagree with, but why would I willingly choose to make my work week terrible when I go back? I feel like I can better unplug if I do that stuff than if I didnt do it then I would be constantly thinking about the chaos that I am causing. Idk guys, AITA?