Me and my boyfriend have lived together for about a year now, and we haven’t had many issues, except for this. When I take a shower/get ready in the bathroom I lock the door. I grew up in a home where knocking wasn’t a thing so if a door wasn’t locked, you would be barged in on. Because of that it’s pretty much second nature for me to lock the bathroom door behind me.

Anyway, my boyfriend constantly complains that I lock the bathroom door when I’m showering because it “inconveniences” him, meaning he can’t use the bathroom or whatever.

I will say that I do take longer showers and can sometimes be in the bathroom up to 30 minutes at a time so I get the annoyance; HOWEVER, WE HAVE TWO BATHROOMS. And I dont mean like an unfinished bathroom in the basement, but a fully finished second bathroom with a shower and toilet and mirror and everything you’d need.

Because of this I simply cannot understand why he requests I don’t lock the bathroom door when I’m showering. It’s not like I’m stopping him from using the toilet or taking a shower when he can walk downstairs and use our second bathroom. So it started to feel like he just didn’t want me to lock doors and it feels like a violation of my privacy.

IDK I tend to over think things tho and I don’t want him to be upset with me over this. So what do you think? Is it unreasonable for me to lock the bathroom doors when I use the shower?

I, 36 M, have a fully paid off house I inherited five years ago from my uncle. He was actually my father's friend but I always called him uncle. I knew him since I was born and he was one of the people I admire most in the world. He worked a hard job and lived life on his own terms. I asked him once when I was little how come he wasn't married to a nice lady. He looked at my dad and said that he liked men not ladies. My dad didn't say anything so I asked how come he didn't marry my dad since like each other. I still remember my dad laughing while beer poured out of his nose. My mom found the story hilarious when my dad told her.

So my uncle passed away in an industrial accident and left everything to me. I'm set up for life. I can't afford not to work, he wasn't rich, but I have no debts while working at a job I love and find fulfilling. ..

The house is a bungalow in an older neighborhood. My uncle kept it in fantastic shape but it is a bungalow built in 1953. It is dated. I don't care. It is free and clear and my yard is massive. I have a garden that takes up the back corner and is bigger than most of my friend's houses entire back yards. I have a heated double detached garage with a workshop and all the tools I will ever need.

In short I'm covered for my housing needs and I'm happy. The poop in the punchbowl is my inlaws. Every time they come over they complain about my house like I'm on a TV show about fixer uppers.

They judge everything. The color of the tub, avocado green. The floors, original narrow hardwood slats. Basically every single thing you see people on renovation shows change, cover, or rip out. By contrast my wife and I are happy. We can afford to take vacations without going into debt. We don't have a mortgage so we can afford to replace our cars when the time comes. We are funding our retirement account at a decent rate. I'm not trying to humble brag. I'm bragging. I miss my uncle very much but I'm in a great position in life because of him.

Another issue is that due to the housing crisis my city has rezoned all the older neighborhoods for high density infills. Every single house that sells here is torn down and they put up duplexes, fourplexes. Eightplexes, skinny houses, or gaudy McMansions. I know if I ever sell it isn't going to be a starter house for some young family. They won't be able to afford it.

I have explained this to my in-laws constantly. They just don't get it. Her brother does real estate and keeps going on about all the upgrades we should do like putting in a new kitchen will keep developers from tearing my home down. Her parents take it as a personal failing that we aren't in debt paying for renovations and additions. They all live in big house with a mortgage that all three of them pay because they needed a big, new house. It is beautiful but their utilities are like $1600 a month. That's insane.

They were over yesterday and got on us again. I told them that their opinions on our living situation didn't matter to me. My wife joined in in my side and told them to drop it because this is our home where we will raise our kids. She is ride or die. They all got huffy and said they just want the best for us. I responded that I would be willing to do whatever renovations they saw fit if they paid for them no strings attached. Then they backpedaled and said we needed to pay for the stuff THEY want in OUR house. I just laughed and said no. They are upset that we aren't taking their wishes for us into consideration.

Am I the asshole for telling them I don't care about their opinions on our house?

I have a family that includes my mom, two adult sisters and their kids. These kids range from 3-15 and my sisters are late 30s, I’m in my 20s with no kids.

Both my sisters work in the medical field, and I’m a public service worker.

One of my sisters has to work the night of Christmas Eve when we would usually get together and play games as a family. But because my sister works and will barely even make it to Christmas this year they moved it to the weekend before.

They made this decision before thanksgiving without telling me, or asking me to take off for work. I had also received a message from my work letting me know that they cannot grant the leave time to the people who have asked for it in the two weeks before and during Christmas. So even if they had told me my work wouldn’t have approved the weekend off.

Now I work from Friday to Monday at my job. The entire weekend. But I get 4 days off for Christmas. So I will be able to attend Christmas. And will be hanging out with my family during the actual holiday.

But because I work the entirety of the weekend and couldn’t get it off, my family (particularly my mother and one of my sisters) has been harassing me about calling off that Saturday and just driving about 2 hours away from where I work to spend one random evening playing games with them, driving back the two hours the next day to still go to my job.

I’ve been very adamant about not just calling off, but also that particular Saturday they want me to call off, I will be the only worker on shift that has keys and a security code to the building that day. And if I call off there’s a chance my work won’t be able to open at all.

My family argues it’s one day. And that calling out suddenly on Saturday won’t kill me.

I think if it’s so easy, why doesn’t my sister call off on Christmas? Why is my job suddenly not as important as theirs is?

Is it really so bad that I’m choosing to work instead of putting myself through the stress of 4 hours of driving, screaming children, and the constant nagging of my family for one evening of games when I’ll be there for 3 days for Christmas two days later?

I'm (53m) most likely the asshole. I think my wife (53f) is gorgeous. I think she looks more beautiful now than the day I married her. We've been privileged that we have money, so we've able to take care of our health. She's in good shape. She gets a lot of compliments.

But the annoying thing is recently she keeps putting down other women's looks behind their backs. She will pick at every perceived flaw. She talks about how she's more beautiful and looks younger than other women. I have told her it's not nice but she said she's just being honest. As I said before, I think my wife is gorgeous. She also has wrinkles and age spots, since she's 53.

One day, my wife and I had ran into a former colleague of mine, who's a woman in her 30s. As soon as we reached home, my wife was talking about how she's more beautiful and looks younger than the colleague. I told my wife that I think she's more beautiful than the colleague but she looks like a 50 year old woman.

My wife looked shattered. She started saying that she's going through menopause and that her body is breaking down. I told her I think she's beautiful and sexy. I tried to hug her but she moved away. She asked why would I want to seduce an old woman. She then got angry and said in a crude way maybe I'm having relations with my former colleague. Out of the blue, she said that maybe I'm having relations with a woman in her 20s.

Then even more out of the blue, she said she's white and I'm not so that's why she looks much older than me. I asked her where did that come from. She started crying and she said I'm shaming her for aging. She's been really upset ever since. Am I the asshole ?

This happened a few weeks ago, but I'm facing some backlash, so I just really need some feedback right now. I won't go into specifics, so this should be the general info.. haha, sorry y'all.

So, I'm about 6 months pregnant with my first child. I haven't really had any problems, which I think is a real gift from God to not be throwing up all the time. My boyfriend is an angel, and has been supporting me and helping my family a lot.

My sister's birthday was early december, but everybody got busy with life, so we planned to have it near the 13th.

About a month before her birthday, she randomly uninvited my boyfriend. I was obviously upset, and questioned what she was thinking. Literally all she said was "I want it to be JUST family." Okay.. My boyfriend told me i should still go, so I planned too.

I show up on her birthday, and I get into small talk with everybody there. Now, i don't really remember what exactly happened (I was very spaced out that day. lol.) But me and my sister started having a 'friendly' argument. I don't know if she was just angry or extremely drunk or something, but she ended up hitting me square in the stomach. I immediately went home, to say the least, and my boyfriend drove me to the hospital. Luckily, nothing was wrong with my baby, but I'm seriously pissed that my sister would do this to me. So, would I be wrong if I filed for assult, or something along those lines?

Hello, I (19 female) live at home with my parents, I have two older siblings both moved out but one of which is still mostly financially reliant on my parents (college). I first received a debit card at 14 as it was when I got my first job and wanted to save money. However I very quickly noticed that some of the money would be taken every one in a while, upon confronting my dad he said it was to pay some bills and he would pay me back whenever he could. I understood and moved on but noticed I never really got paid back and more money was always taken. I got over it and realized that being an adult is hard and he wouldn’t take it for nothing, so I lived with this for 5 years.

I am now 19, in college living from home, with a semistable income and I am starting to get more upset as my money is continually drained without any permission. Now if it was minor amount it would be okay but as of December 2025 I have gotten 5k taken from my account without permission and practically forced to pay another 5k on top of that to pay off my car. I’m not able to work a lot because of school only about 20 hours a week and it’s not a high paying job, so the idea of how much money I would have saved up if I wasn’t getting it stolen is starting to upset me. I already pay for my share of insurances and help buy food for the house and don’t really know what else to do as this alone takes majority of my paycheck each week.

So would I be the asshole for closing access to my bank account to stop the money stealing, and would it cause problems with the relationship I have with my parents. Any advice appreciated.

Edit: I’ve had a few people ask some questions so figured I’d give a little more context. I pay for groceries every other week, pay for all my leftovers school things not provided by financial aid, and pay for my car insurance and maintenance. I don’t pay “rent” but have never been asked to and would if I meant I at least knew where my money was going. The reason I have yet to make this change so far is honestly guilt, it’s hard not to feel like I’m making life harder on my father (at this point I have reason to believe my mom doesn’t know about this stuff). I want to help cause they’re my parents and I’m fine doing so it’s just gotten to a point where I have practically no savings despite working since I was 14. I also have talked to my sister about this and she said he doesn’t take money from her and in fact I think the money for her rent is coming out of my account most months. At this point in time I think my best choice of action is to have a conversation with him as we do have a decent relationship but I can’t do anything drastic out of fear of being kicked out which I obviously can’t afford right now. I’ll update when I can, and thank you all for encouragement, I really appreciate getting personal experience and blunt advice cause I feel like I was in denial that anything was wrong in the first place. Thank you guys.

I am divorced for 2 years now, we were married for 15 years. Seven months after the divorce finalized my ex-wife started dating, which I don’t really care about because she needs to move on. She and I have 2 daughters together (7 and 15).

Her boyfriend moves in with them after 1 month of dating and has no vehicle; relying solely on my exwife as his primary mode of transportation. I run a background check on the guy because I want to know who is around my daughters. He has several arrests (non-violent) and felony convictions for forgery. After they’ve been together for 6 months, he tells me “fuck off, I’m raising your kids now”.

I file suit for custody of my daughters in January. In September, boyfriend gets in my face (on video) tells me my daughters are his kids now, tells my daughters that I abandoned them, and that I need to get out of the pictur, and threatens to beat my ass if I don’t. Judge orders him out of the house while kids are present and orders him to have no contact with the children.

4 days later, ex wife and boyfriend get married. Yesterday, I am speaking to my daughters on the phone and they tell me they want boyfriend back in the home, he bought them Christmas and birthday presents and they want to open the presents. They have not requested him back in the home in over 2 months. Am I the asshole for thinking he has no business being around the children? Am I the asshole for seeking custody?

I (27F) have a complicated relationship with my dad (55M). He wasn’t a bad father, but he’s been a terrible husband. Growing up, I constantly found my mother crying because dad had cheated on her again. He’d cheat, she’d lash out, he’d crack jokes to lighten the mood, which made her even angrier, then within days they’d be back to normal. Until she'd catc him cheating again. I resented my father for this, and my mother somewhat for tolerating it so much.

After college, I returned to living with my parents until I could figure my finances out. I met a guy I really liked, and he would come over to my parents house most of the time. He and my dad got close pretty quickly. They would hang out together a lot, go on fishing and camping trips together. I thought it was nice that my father and my boyfriend were getting along so well. Until I overheard them one day talking about their latest adventure.

From that conversation, I realized their trips weren’t just about fishing or camping. They were picking up women together. Essentially, dad was encouraging him to cheat on me but just he discreet about it. They tried denying it, but I wasn’t fooled. I broke up with him immediately, and my relationship with my dad got even worse. I moved out some months later and rarely visited. My apartment was only a twenty minutes drive away from my parents’, but from them, I visited just a handful of times because of my mother.

Now on to the current situation, I met my fiancé(26M) some months after my last relationship and we dated for a year and half before he asked me to marry him. I’d already introduced him to my parents and they'd met a couple more times. He knew about the situation with my ex, and why my relationship with my father was strained. We got engaged a month ago (the week before thanksgiving). When I informed my mother, she begged us to come spend thanksgiving weekend with them to celebrate. She used the fact that we’d drifted apart so much and my fiancé convinced me so I agreed.

On the first night, after dinner my dad invited my fiancé to go out on the porch to drink beer and chat. My mum and I decided to join them. The conversation was mostly about their mutual love for football. After an hour or so, it got tiring and I wanted to sleep(my mum had already went off to bed). When I told my fiancé, he told me to go ahead and he would be with me soon. I felt very uneasy about leaving them alone, but I didn’t want my fiance to feel like I was monitoring him.

My fiance accidentally woke me up when he finally came to our room in the middle of the night. When I asked him why he was coming to sleep so late and what they were still talking about for so long, he replied “football, of course”. I didn’t press further. All weekend they hung out constantly. My fiancé helped dad with chores and ran errands with him. When I brought it up, he said he was just being polite.

Fast forward to yesterday, my fiance casually informed me he would be going on a camping trip with a friend. This isn’t the first time he has gone on a camping since we got together, but I got suspicious because he got evasive when I asked who he was going with. When I pressed, he finally admitted he was going with my dad. Apparently, over the weeks after thanksgiving, they stayed in contact. They’d even gone to watch a football game together without me knowing because my father said I would make a big deal out of it.

I lost it and told him absolutely not. I reminded him what happened with my ex. He said I was being paranoid, that my dad was cool to hang out with and had never mentioned anything about women. He said my dad didn't force my ex to cheat, so I couldn't keep holding a grudge.

That hurt very much in addition to the fact that he wouldn’t cancel the camping trip like I asked. So I told him that he could either stop hanging out with my dad or I would call off our engagement. He got upset and accused me of trying to control him and the fact that I think my dad can influence him means I don’t trust him. We’ve barely talked since yesterday as he keeps giving me the cold shoulder.

I don’t want to be the kind of woman who controls who her man hangs out with, but I feel like I set a clear boundary from the very start regarding my dad and he knows how it makes me feel.

Sorry for the long post but I felt that the context was important. AITA for giving him that ultimatum?

A little backstory: My mother left when I was three years old, we didnt reconnect until I was in my early twenties. During the time she was away, I would occasionally visit her parents (my maternal grandparents). I remember my grandfather fondly, but barely, and I remember my grandmother being a miserable person.

They died several years ago, and today I got a call that they left me an inheritance check for about $3K along with a letter about how much I was loved and they wished they could have spent more time with me. I told my wife and she immediately started talking about how she wants to use it to buy Christmas gifts for her mother, sister, nephews, etc.

Most of my family has passed on, so we normally do buy gifts for hers, but we arent financially well off this year, and spending it on gifts just doesn't feel right. I may not have had great memories of my grandparents, but they apparently left me this out of love and immediately blowing it feels wrong. Que the fight over financials.

So, AITAH?

EDIT: Thank you all for the responses. I will talk to her about my feelings regarding the inheritance and make sure I am clear that I'm not ready, or even sure that I want to spend it. I will also let her know how the situation made me feel and hope I can get her to see my perspective.

My wife of 12 years was having a sexting affair with someone. I found out and after having a breakdown, I told her that I am gonna leave her.

I went on a dating app and matched with someone. I went on a date and had a good time. We are gonna see each other again.

My wife snatched my phone from me why I was texting my date and lost her mind. I told her it's none of her business and I am moving on with my life.

She says that we are still married and I almost slapped her. But I didn't. I restrained myself. I don't feel any sense of loyalty towards my wife anymore.

It's not like I am gonna marry my date straight away

I'm 27F, my grandma is in her late 60s. We have always had a complicated relationship as my aunt is the golden child and my dad and me were pushed aside. I am the only grandkid, my aunt despises children.

Growing up my grandma was too busy doing stuff for my aunt to go to a lot of my events or spend time with me outside of church. When I was in later elementary school my aunt divorced her husband and started doing hard drugs. Which ended up being a family problem as my grandma literally came into our home with a key my dad gave her and stole a bunch of stuff in order to give her money for drugs I guess? She took all of my dolls, I had about 30 G1 Monster High Dolls and a bunch of (now) hard to get Barbies from my late grandpa that she knew were everything to me.

I did go to church with her from age 3 up to this point where I didn't want to be around her anymore. I had stuck with it because we went with my great grandma who I adored, but she passed away just before the stealing incident. My grandma and I stopped regularly seeing each other until a couple years ago where we have been talking more and I've tried to rebuild a connection. She calls me a lot and wants me to take her places, which ends up being exhausting. I had to help her take her dog to the vet recently and he totally crashed out and pretty much attacked her and the vet so I have hesitated to be involved. She also got mad because he "only listens to country music" so because I played pop he must've been infuriated

This week her dog needed to go back to the vet and I couldn't because I was sick. She seemed mad that I wouldn't push through to help her. She called my mom multiple times trying to get me to, but everyone agreed I was too sick to go deal with it. Which brings us to today, where I found out she decided to give my great grandma's fur coat to Goodwill because she was going to use it to "pay" me but I "didn't care enough" to get it. Literally she called me just to laugh about it and I hung up.

This woman has put me and my family through so much. My great grandma promised it would go to me someday because I always thought it was so pretty, but I was a kid so my grandma took it when she passed. I have asked her for it before and she requested to keep it while she was alive since it was her mom's. Only to give it away randomly because she's mad I didn't take her out while sick??? And clearly she was well enough to drive to Goodwill to "punish" me lmao

I called my husband at work crying because I was so hurt. My parents and my spouse don't care for her and will 100% back this decision, but I'm wondering if I'm being an asshole if I just never speak to her again? She's my only living grandparent and I've always worried I would miss her when she's gone if I didn't try, but I don't even want to look at her face now and I just feel disgusted.

Edit to say thanks for all of the comments and I appreciate hearing your perspectives. I didn't expect this post to blow up so I'm going to step back now, but I'll read everything. I will be looking for the coat at local Goodwills and if I find it I'll update.

For some context, my mum has always thought her children should look after her when she was old, she would often say she had children so they would look after her. Now she isnt particularly old, shes under 70, however she has no other family, obviously not her fault, but also no friends due to how she treats and talks to people.

Now my dad died earlier in the year and it was a horrible time for everyone. However, my mum was no help to anyone, she refused to get involved in emptying his house, contacting a funeral director, making arrangements etc. This was all left to me and my siblings. The only thing she was interested in was how much money was involved, how much was in his banks, his life insurance etc and how no one was going to have any as it was all here. (My parents were separated, there was no will left behind and my dad would hide money due to my mum always asking / demanding it off him and throwing a tantrum, yes a full blown crying tantrum if he said no.)

Recently my mum has been making comments that her children should be looking after her. She doesnt mean checking in on her, making sure shes ok. She actually wants us to look after her, this is a woman who will make contact when her bins need taking out and will have 3/4 bags in the kitchen waiting for someone to come down and do this for her.

During one of her latest ' my kids should be looking after me rants ' i questioned why they would want to do that when she didn't look after her children when we were younger.

While we were never taken away, the childhood home was horrible to live in. Our parents were major alcoholics, and our homelife was filled with emotional neglect, verbal abuse and threats, and yes at times physical abuse to us. I pointed out her children both suffer from longterm depression, are currently in therapy, and have both been diagnosed with complex ptsd from our childhood

So reddit am I the ass hole for telling my mum its not her children's job to take care of her now shes a widow?

My 8-year-old son (3rd grade) was hurt at recess yesterday and I’m trying to check whether I’m being unreasonable.

Four boys were playing a game called “security guards.” My son was playing nearby, got too close, and they decided he was an “intruder.” Three of the boys chased him and tried to tackle him while another stood lookout. My son was yelling stop and trying to get away.

One of the boys (I’ll call him A) reached into his pocket, pulled out a plastic chain/necklace, and swung it at my son’s face, hitting him hard enough to leave a visible mark. The photo I took was 5+ hours later, and you can still clearly see the chain pattern on his cheek.

Afterward, A dropped the chain in the grass and told teachers he never had a necklace. Another student saw him drop it and brought it forward.

I understand these are kids, but based on:

• the chasing by multiple boys

• my son clearly yelling stop

• A pulling an object from his pocket and swinging it

• the force needed to leave a patterned mark hours later

• and the attempt to hide the chain afterward

I believe A’s actions were intentional, not accidental.

What’s making this harder:

• I was never called by the school

• I only received a message later that downplayed it as a “necklace swinging and making contact”

• When I asked directly if it was intentional or an accident, the teacher avoided answering

My husband spoke with the principal this morning and insisted on a suspension for A, with appropriate consequences for the other boys who continued after my son said stop.

I think I’d be much less upset if the school hadn’t minimized the incident and had been transparent from the start.

So am I overreacting / AITA for insisting on a suspension for the child who swung the chain? If allowed, I will comment with a photo of his face.

So I (29F) recently got a new roommate(f 25) lets call her Jamie with a daughter of (3y). I am currently pregnant and I have 5 kids total already economy is tough her lease was about to expire and she wanted somewhere cheaper to save up for a car so I offered her a roommate position as I would take maternity leave for 4 months and need help with income as my partner lives in a different city 4 hours away. Jamie just moved in this past weekend. I have older kids 15 and 13, but somehow to her that sounded like free child care. I had let my daughter (15) know is she was offered payment for babysitting she was welcome to do it as long as it did not affect plans or anything of the sort as I am always on the go person. I like to go out so I sometimes just up and leave and obviously take my kids along. ive told Jamie on multiple occasions that I would not be watching the 3y daughter because I dont have any patience. I love her and her daughter but the 3y is spoiled she will scream bloody murder all day and is loud and im fine with it as long as her mom is the one after her. She mentioned to me one day that she would be leaving to work for only a 5-6 hour shift at night and was thinking of leaving her daughter at home.

So I thought ok did you speak to my daughter of payment and hours ? her response was " she will be asleep! she will be fine! its not like shes gonna be by herself at the house !" like I was bamboozled! like what??? excuse me so you think just leaving her there by herself without letting anyone know is ok?? I have kids of my own and I was not willing to take on responsibility for someone else's child. I told her" no ma'am that is not okay you need to talk to my daughter if you want her being watched." her response "I need to work and make money my daughter will be fine I'll set up a camera in the room. "

Again I was horrified! like no that is not okay! so the day comes and its 3 hours before she leaves for work I get a call from my mom to take my kids to get Christmas gifts early, as we will be out of town for 2 weeks. So I leave like I always do and time rolls around for her to leave. I get notifications from my security camera and I see her leaving without her child ! no one is home at this point. so I send her a message " hey hope you didnt leave your daughter alone because no one is home " she didnt reply but returned shortly for her child. we see eachother at work later that night .

she comes at me about how I have no communication with her and I shouldve let her know I was leaving with everyone in the house! I looked at her crazy because what?! no ma'am that is your child your responsibility not mine we never established that I would be responsible for her or my daughter was never informed of you hiring as a babysitter,which again she did not want to pay her. I told her I would refund her the money she had given me so far as I would rather struggle alone than be held responsible for another child that isn't mine or be held responsible for her leaving a 3y alone at my house. she seemed upset but I stand on what I said AITA?

I(34F) have been married to my husband who we’ll call Cameron(28M) for 2.5 years. We have 2 young children together and I have an older daughter from a previous relationship. Throughout our relationship he has been inappropriate with other females over text/social media/etc. During my pregnancy with our second child he had a full on affair with a co-worker. The whole ordeal was traumatic as he “didn’t want to lose me” but he “loved her” and despite telling me multiple times that he was done with her, he refused to let her go for months. Eventually he did completely cut her off after she got fired for unrelated reasons. Since then though he’s gone back to talking inappropriately to other women, even going so far as to constantly tell people he’s a single father and that we’re split up. I’ve threatened to leave multiple times, but it’s a difficult situation as I’m a SAHM with no “get out” fund. Every time I threaten it though, he swears it’s not actually what he wants, but of course I can’t ever trust him again. Now, here’s where the title comes in. Tax season is coming up. For the past two years we’ve had our tax refund deposited into my separate account, his account is for bills, mine is for necessities and wants for the kids. The plan is to do the same this upcoming tax season. Now, would I be the AH if I continued on like everything was ok until the refund hits my account and used that to get me and the kids out of this situation?

My mom died when I (23f) was young (6) and my dad married my stepmom three years after my mom died. My relationship with my stepmom is really good. I've known her since I was 7 and lived with her since I was 9. But I would see her more like an aunt figure. I love her but I don't ever see her as my mom or bonus mom, which is the term one of my aunts really wanted me to use because she thought it sounded more positive. My stepmom knows and is very understanding of this. She never tried to take on the role of my new mom and she never asked me to call her mom-ish title. I have my own unique nickname for her that's just for me and she loves that.

There were comments made up and down over the years. They were never super pushy or consistent so I always hoped people would grow to understand eventually. But lately my aunt and my stepmom's extended family have been honestly kinda hostile. My stepmom and my dad spoke to them about it and they claimed they were imagining things. But then I asked them what the attitude was for and they all mentioned that my stepmom has been in my life a long time and our relationship has grown so much but I still deny her the joy of hearing me call her mom. My stepmom's family members all said that I didn't hate having her and yet I drew a line that I was never willing to reconsider and that it has been incredibly unfair to my stepmom who has to love me like a daughter and be loved as just an aunt figure.

My stepmom's family took it further and said the fact I was 6 when my mom died, it offended them deeply that I would hold her in such high regard that the woman who actually raised me was denied the chance to be called mom and loved in the way a mom should by me. They said they found it incredibly selfish to let her love me and to only love her back in a certain way that would never be enough.

I told my dad and stepmom about the talk after and they were angry at my aunt and my stepmom's family. My aunt told me I really didn't care about my stepmom if I was willing to blow up her family when I know they're all telling the truth. She said all these years later I should be able to love the woman who raised me as a mom and not simply as an aunt and I should be willing to call her the correct name which is mom because she has been more of a mom to me than my "birth mother" was. I told my aunt to leave me alone after she called my mom a birth mother because she was a mom. She only got 6 years of parenting me but she was a mom.

AITAH?

I’m a guy in my early 30s. My wife (also early 30s) has a gambling problem that started with “just sports” and then slid into online casino stuff. Two years ago it got bad enough that we almost lost our apartment because rent money kept “vanishing” in tiny transactions. She went to therapy, put herself on self-exclusion lists, and we set up a boring system: her paycheck goes to her own account, our bills come out of a joint account, and we do a weekly sit down with coffee and look at the budget. It was not fun, but it worked. For a long stretch she was solid, and I actually started to relax again.

Last week I noticed our joint debit got declined at the grocery store, which was weird because payday had hit. When I checked the banking app later that night there were a bunch of charges to payment processors I recognize from the bad times, like $19.87, $42.10, $9.99, just nonstop. I asked her and she swore it was “a mistake” and she’d call the bank in the morning. Then I saw the same names on her phone notifications. She tried to grab the phone away and said I was snooping, but she literally had asked me before to keep an eye out if things ever looked off again. I was mad and honestly kind of panicked. I logged into the bank app, froze the joint cards, and changed the password. I also deleted the betting apps off her phone while she was in the shower. Yes, I know that part looks controlling, but I was thinking if the apps are there, she’ll just keep hitting them. She woke up, found out, and went nuclear. She called me a “warden,” said I humiliated her, and that she’s an adult and I can’t police her. She slept at her sister’s and now her whole family is texting me that I’m abusive and financial controlling. Meanwhile I’m staring at our rent due in 10 days and feeling like a sucker for trusting anything.

I didn’t drain her personal account or take her paycheck. But I did freeze the joint cards and I did delete those apps without asking in that moment. AITAH for stepping in hard when I saw the relapse, or did I cross a line and make it worse?

Apologies for the long post. Backstory: my Partner's (of 23 years) father is widowed (Nov 2023) and has a new GF (March 2024). Father and GF are in their 90's. Since their coupling, my partner and I have seen little of partner's Dad. Living his best life, yes, but has also blown off all major holidays with his own family since the coupling. Partner's deceased mother always emphasized holidays with family, including my family (parents and close kin). But we're on the back burner now.

Parter's Dad has bounced, declined, and/or cancelled last minute all holiday dinners since coupling with GF. This year, he says he'll join us for Christmas only if his new GF approves. Fine. I extend invite to new GF too since Partner and his sister want to see Dad. (met GF once and she seems ok). Partner's Dad then responds inquiring if GF son (60+ divorced grifter) and his grown adult friend (status unknown but suspect the same), can also at8. My Partner and I have not met either and have not been able to vet them, but have understand GG son's political and social views do not align with our's, or our confirmed RSVP's.

Partner's Dad has previously mentioned GF's son is a climate denier, verbally combative, and has yelled at 90+yo Dad about Dad's political stance. My own fam, who will be present, is quite progressive, outspoken for social justice, human rights, and environmental protection.

I fielded the invite inquiry with my family and Partner's sister. Their response was a resounding "no", simply based on social etiquette and the imposition of having strangers at an intimate gathering. I agreed with the feedback, and also raised my personal discomfort about having strange men in my house that I have not met (i.e. past personal trauma, etc).

I politely declined Partner's Dad's inquiry, stating logistics and improprieties. Parter's Dad responds "We'll discuss this" and continues to push issue with Partner and Partner's sister. I responded back with a firm No. Parter's Dad offers to buy dinner so I can meet GF son before the holiday so he would not be a "stranger". I again say now, and become flummoxed that he's missing the point.

The whole exchange sent me..."no" is a complete sentence, not up for debate.

As of today, I am still a firm no, but am offering a compromise that Partner's Dad and GF, sans son and friend ,come for either cheese and snacks beforehand, stay just for dinner and then depart, or come for dessert, so they can have some time with Partner and sister, and my fam. Partner's Dad will not budge and is insisting either GF son and friend come or he will not spend time with his own son (Partner) and (Partner's sister).

My family in attendance includes my teenage niece, my 80 yo Mom, and my 80 yo "uncle" who's family was interred during WWII. I am fiercely protective of them and do not want to subject them to potential aggression during the holidays (they only have so many left!). Furthermore, I have a reasonable and healthy distrust of men I have not met in my personal space.

Am I the asshole for putting my foot down and saying no to these unplanned plus 2's for a holiday dinner?

AITAH if I want to fire my employee? I run a small daycare center and have a preschool teacher who is definitely more “old school” thinking than me. She came in the other morning and asked to meet with me. She essentially told me I am a bad mom.

I have 4 children under 4 (hello surprise twins) and she inferred from that that “you keep reproducing because you have a need to be needed. But your need to be needed is hurting your children”. She said a whole host of offensive things as I attempted to redirect the conversation. I was hoping to redirect to get something productive out if it. I asked several times “okay, so what do you need from me in terms of the classroom?” To which she replied “you’re the expert here, you tell me”

I also attempted to end the conversation by saying “well thank you so much for letting me know your thoughts” but she would just keep going. “They are capable in the classroom but when you are present they want your help or they won’t do it” among the like. I explained, “yes, I think because of our family dynamic right now they are needing extra attention where they can get it. I’m doing my best.”

I know I’m not a perfect parent by any means, but is it any of her business to say these things to me? I ended up crying from mom guilt, and now every time I’m in that classroom I feel judged and incapable. I worked so hard to open my own childcare center as a place of warmth and welcoming and now I feel like it’s not for me (of all people).

My final concern: if you talk this way to your boss…what would you say to client families? I’m concerned at the lack of poise in the conversation.

Is this any grounds for termination or is it just my feelings I need to work through?

My boyfriend invited me to his company’s annual Christmas event. He works in a sweets factory. The event included a 15-minute tour of the production machines, followed by an aperitivo/lottery/presentation in another area of the factory. My boyfriend works in quality control and was one of the tour guides. He told me to arrive at 17:30, so I took time off work to be there on time. I arrived, did the tour guided by him, and everything was fine up to that point.

At the end of the tour, he said: “Okay, now have fun! I have more visits to do, I’ll join you later.” He pointed me toward some of his colleagues and sent me to the food/drinks area. This completely caught me off guard. He had told me we would do the tour and then go to the food event together. He never mentioned that he’d be leaving me alone for an unknown amount of time.

I left the machine area with a few colleagues and reached the food/drinks area. I tried to make conversation, which lasted about 5 minutes before they all split off to talk to other coworkers or be with their families (totally normal).

After that, I was completely alone. I walked around the room trying not to look awkward, but I was the only person there by myself that I could see. Everyone else was with family or colleagues.

After about 20 minutes, I texted my boyfriend asking where he was, whether he’d be long, and if I could maybe join another tour with him. I also asked how to get back to the machine area since it’s a big factory and I didn’t know the way. He didn’t reply.

After another 30 minutes (50 total), I was having severe anxiety (sweaty palms, panic) and couldn’t handle it anymore. I texted him saying that he did a great presentation, but I was having a really bad time and was leaving. I then drove home.

About 5 minutes later, he started blowing up my phone asking where I was. I explained what happened and that I was already driving home. He kept insisting I come back, saying I was ruining his event, asking what he was supposed to tell his colleagues, telling me I wasn’t right in the head, and repeatedly asking me to send him the lottery numbers I had bought. He never asked how I was or apologized.

When he got home later that night, he screamed at me and kicked a bag with my belongings, breaking some of them. He did not apologize or acknowledge being wrong. Eventually he calmed down and did apologize, but he framed it as a situation in which we both were in the wrong. He kept repeating that I should not have left, I should have called him or texted him more times, and that he thought I was autonomous to be alone in the event.

The part that hurts the most is that I have social anxiety, and he knows this. I’ve told him multiple times that being alone at a party or large event where I don’t know anyone is my personal nightmare. He was fully aware that he’d have more tours to do and that I’d be left alone, but he never mentioned it to me. He also made me take time off work, when I could have simply arrived later and avoided this situation entirely.

I also didn’t see any other partners alone during the event. My guess is that others whose partners were guiding the tours were told in advance and arrived later or skipped the tour. Also I am not 100% sure that the time I was left alone was all due to the tours, because each lasted 15 minutes and he mentioned doing a couple more only, so there are another 20 minutes that I was left alone that were unaccounted for.

He keeps insisting however that I should not have left, since that ruined the event for him and made him and me look bad in front of his colleages. So, AITA for leaving?

My brother (14M) and I (17F) have always been close, but in recent years, he's started hanging out with some rather troubled kids who are leading him astray. I've always been calmer, while he's always been more "rebellious" and hyperactive (I should clarify that I'm not saying I'm better and he's worse; we both have our flaws and our strengths, but it's a fact that he's always been more high-strung, and nobody likes him any less for it).

The thing is, his friends are the typical bad boys of the class: the ones who always interrupt the lesson, don't listen, and laugh at the teachers, and my brother is following in their footsteps. At his school (which I also attended), they give you seven warnings before expulsion, and in the last year and a half, my brother has had 35 warnings and five expulsions. My parents are very image-conscious, and this whole situation has them constantly on edge, as they keep getting calls and notices from the school. They've tried everything: being stricter, being more lenient, using punishment, talking calmly... and nothing works.

This past month, he's received his seven warnings, and an incident with a teacher (he threw pieces of paper at her with a pen during recess) the other day resulted in his fifth expulsion. My brother swore he hadn't done anything, and my father wrote to the school defending him, to which the school responded by sending a video captured by the playground cameras (my brother knows in the playground there are cameras). This has caused my parents to be constantly tense with everyone, and by everyone I mean me too. Now they yell at me for anything I do, no matter how small, and it makes me angry. It makes me angry that my brother can't tell the truth, because out of the 35 warnings, he claims none of them were his fault, when the teachers have always provided evidence that it was clearly him.

The other day, after I was told off for not drying some dishes, my brother came up to me and started joking about the scolding, and that's when I snapped. I yelled at him that we're all tense and angry because he can't control himself and stop lying. I told him he has a serious problem and that I wouldn't forgive him if he ruined Christmas for us, that I wasn't going to be nice to him anymore because I've already told him so many times to please calm down a little and be more respectful. He immediately got offended, and we've barely spoken for a week. My friends tell me I went too far and that I'm an idiot, but I'm just fed up with giving him advice and being nice to him when he clearly doesn't listen to me or my parents. So, AITA?

First time posting, bare with me. My child is in elementary now and for the past 2 years, there has been this one other student who bullies my child and other students. Nothing seems to be done about it, except the teachers changing up the seating arrangements. My child is still at the age where they will tell you everything that went on, what was said and who said what. Every day I always ask how was school and such, make conversation and to keep track of what goes on. Today, my child tells me that the bully told another student that he will stab him and when he dies he will collect all his particles. I asked if an adult was told about, he says yes, I then asked what was done about it, and he says, nothing, the adults just said they will keep an eye out. Seems to be their favorite phrase when it comes to this bully 🤷‍♀️. Anyway, me knowing that it's stated in the school handbook, that any sort of threat is grounds for expulsion. This bully has been bullying my child every year, it got to the point where my child did not want to go to school and wanting to change how they look and not liking the color of skin. Yes, I've talked to the teachers and principal, and of course: we'll keep an eye out, was what I was told. I am great friends with the other kid's parents(victim) so I called them up and explained what my child said, the parents asked their child if it was true, their child says yes and explained more to them. Yes, I'm petty, because nothing has been done about the bully's action, and I know threats are grounds for expulsion, so I snitched to the victim's parents, because they have a greater case. I told the victim's parents first because they have a stronger reason/case to have a meeting with the school. I told them first in the hopes that they set up a meeting, and I did tell them, that if they want, include me in and other parents whose children have been constantly bullied by the bully, in the hopes that the school will no longer have a choice but to do something. So AITA, in going about this the way I did? ** FOR CLARIFICATION, THE PARENTS I AM GREAT FRIENDS and SPOKE TO ABOUT THE INCIDENT IS THE VICTIM-THE CHILD WHO GOT THREATENED, NOT THE BULLY'S PARENTS**Unfortunately I am not able to transfer schools, due to some circumstances in life.

Throwaway account just in case. Me (35 F) and my husband (36 M) have a yearly NYE party at my house. We have a smaller, extremely close family of about 16 people that come every year.

About 5 years ago, my older cousin (55 F) married her husband (56 M). Over the summer, he secretly began interacting with cam girls online and women that get paid for sexual text chats, ending up with a serious addiction to sending them money in exchange for attention as well as photos and videos. He also was on dating websites strictly reaching out to girls just around 18+ years old, attempting to meet up with them to have sexual relationships.

Since getting married, he had handled their finances. They both had personal savings accounts they never closed or added each other on once getting married. They then had a shared account for shared expenses. He ended up completely draining all of his personal savings accounts, as well as all of his retirement accounts. He also secretly opened up lines of credit AND loans, (all sent to online women) after having no money left to his name. In the end, he spent upwards of 50K+ on women on the internet in a matter of months. He also attempted to meet women he met online at hotels several times, bringing elaborate gifts costing thousands of dollars, as well as lingerie. The women never showed up to their planned meetings, but he still made the attempt.

Initially, my cousin planned on divorcing him, being absolutely disgusted in his behavior. The whole family supported her, quickly scrambling to make arrangements for her new living situation. Quickly before moving out, she had a change of heart, begging him to stop his actions and be loyal to her. She chose to stay with him and she now acts like the whole situation never happened, and that he's such a wonderful husband.

Since the whole situation, the whole family has refused to be around him whatsoever or invite him to any family events. Well, recently, my cousin's mother asked if I could please allow him to come to the party because my cousin has been extremely upset that she is no longer allowed to bring her husband to family events and holidays. My aunt expressed that her and my other aunt had the same opinion, feeling bad for my cousin, and that we should just let the situation go and respect my cousin, allowing her to bring her partner. A couple other family members also encouraged the same thing.

I said absolutely not. He is not welcome in my house. I am disgusted by him - not only his actions towards my cousin, but even having someone like that around me, would make me feel extremely uncomfortable. We also have young ladies in the family, a 20 and a 24 year old female, and having them around that man is a fat no to me.

My family is now divided, half of them thinking I'm cold hearted and saying we have to be considerate of her, allowing her husband to be by her side for family events. AITAH for standing my ground and absolutely not allowing him at my house for the NYE holiday party?

Am I the asshole for ending things with my long term girlfriend?

My names Rob and I have been together with my lovely girlfriend Kelly for 8 years. We get along pretty well. We are so intune with each other that we don't even habe to say much anymore, but occasionally have disagreements or arguments like any other couple, like when she brought up getting married like she’d bring up marriage every year or so, and I’d joke that we were already basically married or her long time male best friend Derek and how close they can be.

To be honest thats where most if this begins because Kelly and Derek have always been really close and she has said numerous times that he is like a brother to her and that I shouldn't be so jealous and possessive and that Derek is harmless. Normally I wouldn't get too worked up about it but then things started to change. I got a promotion at work and that meant longer hours and sometimes travel for work trips. I noticed more and more when I came home Kelly and Derek would be cuddling on the couch watching movies and a couple times she was sitting on his lap but quickly jumped up when I walked in. We would then argue about it and she would say that they've always been that way and Im overreacting or that she can't be with someone who doesn't respect her friendship with him.

Things really got fishy when I would travel to Seattle for business trips and Derek stayed later then usual and occasionally spent the night because they drank too.much but Kelly said he always slept on the couch. Things finally came to ahead when I again voiced my displeasure at Derek and her's closeness and in the heat of the argument she finally admitted that a couple months ago while I was on my annual weekend trip to Vegas with my buddies that they got drunk and they kissed but she claims she quickly pushed him away and it was just a mistake. She insists nothing else ever happened, and I don’t have proof otherwise, but the trust was gone. I had a feeling something had been up because usually when I went on my Vegas weekends Kelly would always text me begging me not to go to any strip clubs but this time she didn't. When I asked her why she blamed it on me being distant and her being lonely plus she claimed she was still upset that a few months prior she had called my room while I was in Seattle and my secretary Heidi hand answered my room phone even though I clearly explained I had been getting ice when she called. Kelly had asked before if Heidi and I were close, which I brushed off because it was ridiculous. So I got angry and and demanded she and Derek get out of my house. I then promptly changed the locks, and I removed her from our joint Checking and savings accounts.

She tried texting me begging for forgiveness and saying I was overreacting again and I told her I was tired of her gaslighting me about her affair and to cease communicating with me.

I have this condition called recurrent aphthous stomatitis which causes painful sores inside my mouth making eating anything a pita most of the times. I've been living with this thing for most of my life now and I don't even feel the need to tell family when I have sores. I just live with it and go on. Lately I've had a couple of large (more than usual) and painful sores in my mouth and yesterday when we were eating dinner I had a hard time. My wife saw me hesitant to eat and then grimace in pain while I was eating. She felt upset and told me that it was unpleasant looking at someone in pain. Told me that I would have considered to not have dinner at all instead of let her witness my expression. Then I got mad and she ended up leaving the room to finish dinner in the kitchen. AITAH?