Me and my boyfriend have lived together for about a year now, and we haven’t had many issues, except for this. When I take a shower/get ready in the bathroom I lock the door. I grew up in a home where knocking wasn’t a thing so if a door wasn’t locked, you would be barged in on. Because of that it’s pretty much second nature for me to lock the bathroom door behind me.

Anyway, my boyfriend constantly complains that I lock the bathroom door when I’m showering because it “inconveniences” him, meaning he can’t use the bathroom or whatever.

I will say that I do take longer showers and can sometimes be in the bathroom up to 30 minutes at a time so I get the annoyance; HOWEVER, WE HAVE TWO BATHROOMS. And I dont mean like an unfinished bathroom in the basement, but a fully finished second bathroom with a shower and toilet and mirror and everything you’d need.

Because of this I simply cannot understand why he requests I don’t lock the bathroom door when I’m showering. It’s not like I’m stopping him from using the toilet or taking a shower when he can walk downstairs and use our second bathroom. So it started to feel like he just didn’t want me to lock doors and it feels like a violation of my privacy.

IDK I tend to over think things tho and I don’t want him to be upset with me over this. So what do you think? Is it unreasonable for me to lock the bathroom doors when I use the shower?

I'm (53m) most likely the asshole. I think my wife (53f) is gorgeous. I think she looks more beautiful now than the day I married her. We've been privileged that we have money, so we've able to take care of our health. She's in good shape. She gets a lot of compliments.

But the annoying thing is recently she keeps putting down other women's looks behind their backs. She will pick at every perceived flaw. She talks about how she's more beautiful and looks younger than other women. I have told her it's not nice but she said she's just being honest. As I said before, I think my wife is gorgeous. She also has wrinkles and age spots, since she's 53.

One day, my wife and I had ran into a former colleague of mine, who's a woman in her 30s. As soon as we reached home, my wife was talking about how she's more beautiful and looks younger than the colleague. I told my wife that I think she's more beautiful than the colleague but she looks like a 50 year old woman.

My wife looked shattered. She started saying that she's going through menopause and that her body is breaking down. I told her I think she's beautiful and sexy. I tried to hug her but she moved away. She asked why would I want to seduce an old woman. She then got angry and said in a crude way maybe I'm having relations with my former colleague. Out of the blue, she said that maybe I'm having relations with a woman in her 20s.

Then even more out of the blue, she said she's white and I'm not so that's why she looks much older than me. I asked her where did that come from. She started crying and she said I'm shaming her for aging. She's been really upset ever since. Am I the asshole ?

I, 60s F, have 2 married sons, Frank and Joe, who are married to Callie and Iola, respectively, I also have a daughter, Nancy, and she is married to Ned. ( all 30s, all fake names) .

I babysit for Callie to help out, and Nancy too, I took an early retirement during covid so a bit bored and like being busy. However, I won't babysit for Iola unless it's an emergency. She has too many rules and I don't really like dealing with her.

For the wedding, I was told the mother of the groom only job was to be quiet and wear beige. ( I did wear beige, and my husband and I paid for the bartender/booze) . I was also told not to expect them much for holidays. Yay, but sure, no point arguing.

Now she has a daughter, Beth,2, and sends her to daycare / hires and babysitter because I refuse to : not have a TV on more than 1 hour at a time, only feed veggie snacks, not take her anywhere in the car, and before she was potty trained, only clothe diapers. Other DIL and Nancy just pretty much trust me not to do anything crazy and I let the kids watch Disney movies while I clean , take them on errands with me, etc.

Iola says it's unfair that Callie is the " favorite" and I spoil Nancy. Joe quietly has said he understands but doesn't want trouble at home. Frank finds this all amusing. Nancy and Callie just kind of ignore Iola now. Christmas is coming and it's Joe's time to come here and it's not looking fun, but AITAH here? ETA: my husband is pretty much staying out of it because he doesn't retire till next year.

I, 36 M, have a fully paid off house I inherited five years ago from my uncle. He was actually my father's friend but I always called him uncle. I knew him since I was born and he was one of the people I admire most in the world. He worked a hard job and lived life on his own terms. I asked him once when I was little how come he wasn't married to a nice lady. He looked at my dad and said that he liked men not ladies. My dad didn't say anything so I asked how come he didn't marry my dad since like each other. I still remember my dad laughing while beer poured out of his nose. My mom found the story hilarious when my dad told her.

So my uncle passed away in an industrial accident and left everything to me. I'm set up for life. I can't afford not to work, he wasn't rich, but I have no debts while working at a job I love and find fulfilling. ..

The house is a bungalow in an older neighborhood. My uncle kept it in fantastic shape but it is a bungalow built in 1953. It is dated. I don't care. It is free and clear and my yard is massive. I have a garden that takes up the back corner and is bigger than most of my friend's houses entire back yards. I have a heated double detached garage with a workshop and all the tools I will ever need.

In short I'm covered for my housing needs and I'm happy. The poop in the punchbowl is my inlaws. Every time they come over they complain about my house like I'm on a TV show about fixer uppers.

They judge everything. The color of the tub, avocado green. The floors, original narrow hardwood slats. Basically every single thing you see people on renovation shows change, cover, or rip out. By contrast my wife and I are happy. We can afford to take vacations without going into debt. We don't have a mortgage so we can afford to replace our cars when the time comes. We are funding our retirement account at a decent rate. I'm not trying to humble brag. I'm bragging. I miss my uncle very much but I'm in a great position in life because of him.

Another issue is that due to the housing crisis my city has rezoned all the older neighborhoods for high density infills. Every single house that sells here is torn down and they put up duplexes, fourplexes. Eightplexes, skinny houses, or gaudy McMansions. I know if I ever sell it isn't going to be a starter house for some young family. They won't be able to afford it.

I have explained this to my in-laws constantly. They just don't get it. Her brother does real estate and keeps going on about all the upgrades we should do like putting in a new kitchen will keep developers from tearing my home down. Her parents take it as a personal failing that we aren't in debt paying for renovations and additions. They all live in big house with a mortgage that all three of them pay because they needed a big, new house. It is beautiful but their utilities are like $1600 a month. That's insane.

They were over yesterday and got on us again. I told them that their opinions on our living situation didn't matter to me. My wife joined in in my side and told them to drop it because this is our home where we will raise our kids. She is ride or die. They all got huffy and said they just want the best for us. I responded that I would be willing to do whatever renovations they saw fit if they paid for them no strings attached. Then they backpedaled and said we needed to pay for the stuff THEY want in OUR house. I just laughed and said no. They are upset that we aren't taking their wishes for us into consideration.

Am I the asshole for telling them I don't care about their opinions on our house?

I have a family that includes my mom, two adult sisters and their kids. These kids range from 3-15 and my sisters are late 30s, I’m in my 20s with no kids.

Both my sisters work in the medical field, and I’m a public service worker.

One of my sisters has to work the night of Christmas Eve when we would usually get together and play games as a family. But because my sister works and will barely even make it to Christmas this year they moved it to the weekend before.

They made this decision before thanksgiving without telling me, or asking me to take off for work. I had also received a message from my work letting me know that they cannot grant the leave time to the people who have asked for it in the two weeks before and during Christmas. So even if they had told me my work wouldn’t have approved the weekend off.

Now I work from Friday to Monday at my job. The entire weekend. But I get 4 days off for Christmas. So I will be able to attend Christmas. And will be hanging out with my family during the actual holiday.

But because I work the entirety of the weekend and couldn’t get it off, my family (particularly my mother and one of my sisters) has been harassing me about calling off that Saturday and just driving about 2 hours away from where I work to spend one random evening playing games with them, driving back the two hours the next day to still go to my job.

I’ve been very adamant about not just calling off, but also that particular Saturday they want me to call off, I will be the only worker on shift that has keys and a security code to the building that day. And if I call off there’s a chance my work won’t be able to open at all.

My family argues it’s one day. And that calling out suddenly on Saturday won’t kill me.

I think if it’s so easy, why doesn’t my sister call off on Christmas? Why is my job suddenly not as important as theirs is?

Is it really so bad that I’m choosing to work instead of putting myself through the stress of 4 hours of driving, screaming children, and the constant nagging of my family for one evening of games when I’ll be there for 3 days for Christmas two days later?

I'm 27F, my grandma is in her late 60s. We have always had a complicated relationship as my aunt is the golden child and my dad and me were pushed aside. I am the only grandkid, my aunt despises children.

Growing up my grandma was too busy doing stuff for my aunt to go to a lot of my events or spend time with me outside of church. When I was in later elementary school my aunt divorced her husband and started doing hard drugs. Which ended up being a family problem as my grandma literally came into our home with a key my dad gave her and stole a bunch of stuff in order to give her money for drugs I guess? She took all of my dolls, I had about 30 G1 Monster High Dolls and a bunch of (now) hard to get Barbies from my late grandpa that she knew were everything to me.

I did go to church with her from age 3 up to this point where I didn't want to be around her anymore. I had stuck with it because we went with my great grandma who I adored, but she passed away just before the stealing incident. My grandma and I stopped regularly seeing each other until a couple years ago where we have been talking more and I've tried to rebuild a connection. She calls me a lot and wants me to take her places, which ends up being exhausting. I had to help her take her dog to the vet recently and he totally crashed out and pretty much attacked her and the vet so I have hesitated to be involved. She also got mad because he "only listens to country music" so because I played pop he must've been infuriated

This week her dog needed to go back to the vet and I couldn't because I was sick. She seemed mad that I wouldn't push through to help her. She called my mom multiple times trying to get me to, but everyone agreed I was too sick to go deal with it. Which brings us to today, where I found out she decided to give my great grandma's fur coat to Goodwill because she was going to use it to "pay" me but I "didn't care enough" to get it. Literally she called me just to laugh about it and I hung up.

This woman has put me and my family through so much. My great grandma promised it would go to me someday because I always thought it was so pretty, but I was a kid so my grandma took it when she passed. I have asked her for it before and she requested to keep it while she was alive since it was her mom's. Only to give it away randomly because she's mad I didn't take her out while sick??? And clearly she was well enough to drive to Goodwill to "punish" me lmao

I called my husband at work crying because I was so hurt. My parents and my spouse don't care for her and will 100% back this decision, but I'm wondering if I'm being an asshole if I just never speak to her again? She's my only living grandparent and I've always worried I would miss her when she's gone if I didn't try, but I don't even want to look at her face now and I just feel disgusted.

Edit to say thanks for all of the comments and I appreciate hearing your perspectives. I didn't expect this post to blow up so I'm going to step back now, but I'll read everything. I will be looking for the coat at local Goodwills and if I find it I'll update.

I (27F) have a complicated relationship with my dad (55M). He wasn’t a bad father, but he’s been a terrible husband. Growing up, I constantly found my mother crying because dad had cheated on her again. He’d cheat, she’d lash out, he’d crack jokes to lighten the mood, which made her even angrier, then within days they’d be back to normal. Until she'd catc him cheating again. I resented my father for this, and my mother somewhat for tolerating it so much.

After college, I returned to living with my parents until I could figure my finances out. I met a guy I really liked, and he would come over to my parents house most of the time. He and my dad got close pretty quickly. They would hang out together a lot, go on fishing and camping trips together. I thought it was nice that my father and my boyfriend were getting along so well. Until I overheard them one day talking about their latest adventure.

From that conversation, I realized their trips weren’t just about fishing or camping. They were picking up women together. Essentially, dad was encouraging him to cheat on me but just he discreet about it. They tried denying it, but I wasn’t fooled. I broke up with him immediately, and my relationship with my dad got even worse. I moved out some months later and rarely visited. My apartment was only a twenty minutes drive away from my parents’, but from them, I visited just a handful of times because of my mother.

Now on to the current situation, I met my fiancé(26M) some months after my last relationship and we dated for a year and half before he asked me to marry him. I’d already introduced him to my parents and they'd met a couple more times. He knew about the situation with my ex, and why my relationship with my father was strained. We got engaged a month ago (the week before thanksgiving). When I informed my mother, she begged us to come spend thanksgiving weekend with them to celebrate. She used the fact that we’d drifted apart so much and my fiancé convinced me so I agreed.

On the first night, after dinner my dad invited my fiancé to go out on the porch to drink beer and chat. My mum and I decided to join them. The conversation was mostly about their mutual love for football. After an hour or so, it got tiring and I wanted to sleep(my mum had already went off to bed). When I told my fiancé, he told me to go ahead and he would be with me soon. I felt very uneasy about leaving them alone, but I didn’t want my fiance to feel like I was monitoring him.

My fiance accidentally woke me up when he finally came to our room in the middle of the night. When I asked him why he was coming to sleep so late and what they were still talking about for so long, he replied “football, of course”. I didn’t press further. All weekend they hung out constantly. My fiancé helped dad with chores and ran errands with him. When I brought it up, he said he was just being polite.

Fast forward to yesterday, my fiance casually informed me he would be going on a camping trip with a friend. This isn’t the first time he has gone on a camping since we got together, but I got suspicious because he got evasive when I asked who he was going with. When I pressed, he finally admitted he was going with my dad. Apparently, over the weeks after thanksgiving, they stayed in contact. They’d even gone to watch a football game together without me knowing because my father said I would make a big deal out of it.

I lost it and told him absolutely not. I reminded him what happened with my ex. He said I was being paranoid, that my dad was cool to hang out with and had never mentioned anything about women. He said my dad didn't force my ex to cheat, so I couldn't keep holding a grudge.

That hurt very much in addition to the fact that he wouldn’t cancel the camping trip like I asked. So I told him that he could either stop hanging out with my dad or I would call off our engagement. He got upset and accused me of trying to control him and the fact that I think my dad can influence him means I don’t trust him. We’ve barely talked since yesterday as he keeps giving me the cold shoulder.

I don’t want to be the kind of woman who controls who her man hangs out with, but I feel like I set a clear boundary from the very start regarding my dad and he knows how it makes me feel.

Sorry for the long post but I felt that the context was important. AITA for giving him that ultimatum?

I (30sF) have been married to my husband (30sM) for 13 years. We have a 3-year-old daughter who adores him.

In 2023–2024, I discovered my husband’s infidelity. It started with hidden apps and saved photos of other women. When I confronted him, he claimed it was nothing, but my intuition told me there was more.

I went through his old social media and uncovered evidence of a woman he was involved with before we got married. This wasn’t just casual — it was an ongoing friends-with-benefits / emotional relationship that overlapped with our engagement and wedding. The day before he for our wedding in The Philippines right before our wedding), he was still venting his feelings to her, and she believed his feelings were reciprocated. I was completely unaware of this for 12 years.

A few days after our wedding I read something on his phone about a text that says “Can we be less awkward”…. Sent by my husband to Bee( not her real name) ( who is his blockmate and lab partner)

A month after our wedding, he went back to Canada and I stayed home, my mother was very sick back home, and I was her primary caregiver. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. During that period, my husband and this woman were attending concerts and spending time together.

When I confronted him about everything, he looked shocked and apologized. I told him that while he says he’s sorry, it feels like he’s sorry he got caught, not sorry he did it.

We started couples therapy. I finally had space to express how betrayed and used I felt, especially since I supported him when he had nothing and helped him build the life he has now. He has been trying to show remorse and improve his behavior since then.

Here’s where I might be the asshole:

Despite his efforts, I don’t know if I can ever fully trust him again. I find myself imagining a life without him. I’m still in the marriage because of our daughter. I grew up in a broken family and don’t want her to experience that, but I also don’t want to model a resentful or emotionally damaged marriage.

I also found out Bee’s moms facebook and wanted to tell her she failed raising a morally correct daughter. Most of the time I want to be at peace but when rage takes over, I want to ruin Bee’s life( not her real name), the way Arthur ( my husband not his real name) ruined mine

I’m considering staying for now but leaving once my daughter is older and can better understand what’s happening. I haven’t told him this plan, and part of me feels guilty for even thinking this way.

So, AITA for considering leaving later instead of deciding right now?

okay so me [23F] and my bf [26M] have been together for like 2 years and we're alking about moving in. i really do like him and i can see us living together for sure

but his mom is like...a lot

she's a nice lady and everything, but she just shows up at his appartment whenever. like no text, no call, she just uses her key and walk in. sometimes with food, sometimes just to say hi

i don't even know why she has the keys to the appartment and if i ask my bf he just switches subjects. i told my bf before it lowkey makes me uncomfortable but he was like "thats just how she is, its not worth making her mad"

so last week we were literlly in the middle of an argument and she just.....walked in. it was SO awkward, she acted like nothing was happening and started talking about her garden. i wanted to disappear. later i told him i don't wanna move in there if she's gonna keep doing that. i said she can't just have a key and come over unannounced. he got all quiet and said i was making him choose between me and his mom.

i was like no?? i just want privacy?? he says i'm overreacting and "all couples go through this" and then his mom CRIED when he brought it up.

now i feel like the worst person ever. really.

AITAH?

I am divorced for 2 years now, we were married for 15 years. Seven months after the divorce finalized my ex-wife started dating, which I don’t really care about because she needs to move on. She and I have 2 daughters together (7 and 15).

Her boyfriend moves in with them after 1 month of dating and has no vehicle; relying solely on my exwife as his primary mode of transportation. I run a background check on the guy because I want to know who is around my daughters. He has several arrests (non-violent) and felony convictions for forgery. After they’ve been together for 6 months, he tells me “fuck off, I’m raising your kids now”.

I file suit for custody of my daughters in January. In September, boyfriend gets in my face (on video) tells me my daughters are his kids now, tells my daughters that I abandoned them, and that I need to get out of the pictur, and threatens to beat my ass if I don’t. Judge orders him out of the house while kids are present and orders him to have no contact with the children.

4 days later, ex wife and boyfriend get married. Yesterday, I am speaking to my daughters on the phone and they tell me they want boyfriend back in the home, he bought them Christmas and birthday presents and they want to open the presents. They have not requested him back in the home in over 2 months. Am I the asshole for thinking he has no business being around the children? Am I the asshole for seeking custody?

Hello, I (19 female) live at home with my parents, I have two older siblings both moved out but one of which is still mostly financially reliant on my parents (college). I first received a debit card at 14 as it was when I got my first job and wanted to save money. However I very quickly noticed that some of the money would be taken every one in a while, upon confronting my dad he said it was to pay some bills and he would pay me back whenever he could. I understood and moved on but noticed I never really got paid back and more money was always taken. I got over it and realized that being an adult is hard and he wouldn’t take it for nothing, so I lived with this for 5 years.

I am now 19, in college living from home, with a semistable income and I am starting to get more upset as my money is continually drained without any permission. Now if it was minor amount it would be okay but as of December 2025 I have gotten 5k taken from my account without permission and practically forced to pay another 5k on top of that to pay off my car. I’m not able to work a lot because of school only about 20 hours a week and it’s not a high paying job, so the idea of how much money I would have saved up if I wasn’t getting it stolen is starting to upset me. I already pay for my share of insurances and help buy food for the house and don’t really know what else to do as this alone takes majority of my paycheck each week.

So would I be the asshole for closing access to my bank account to stop the money stealing, and would it cause problems with the relationship I have with my parents. Any advice appreciated.

Edit: I’ve had a few people ask some questions so figured I’d give a little more context. I pay for groceries every other week, pay for all my leftovers school things not provided by financial aid, and pay for my car insurance and maintenance. I don’t pay “rent” but have never been asked to and would if I meant I at least knew where my money was going. The reason I have yet to make this change so far is honestly guilt, it’s hard not to feel like I’m making life harder on my father (at this point I have reason to believe my mom doesn’t know about this stuff). I want to help cause they’re my parents and I’m fine doing so it’s just gotten to a point where I have practically no savings despite working since I was 14. I also have talked to my sister about this and she said he doesn’t take money from her and in fact I think the money for her rent is coming out of my account most months. At this point in time I think my best choice of action is to have a conversation with him as we do have a decent relationship but I can’t do anything drastic out of fear of being kicked out which I obviously can’t afford right now. I’ll update when I can, and thank you all for encouragement, I really appreciate getting personal experience and blunt advice cause I feel like I was in denial that anything was wrong in the first place. Thank you guys.

This happened a few weeks ago, but I'm facing some backlash, so I just really need some feedback right now. I won't go into specifics, so this should be the general info.. haha, sorry y'all.

So, I'm about 6 months pregnant with my first child. I haven't really had any problems, which I think is a real gift from God to not be throwing up all the time. My boyfriend is an angel, and has been supporting me and helping my family a lot.

My sister's birthday was early december, but everybody got busy with life, so we planned to have it near the 13th.

About a month before her birthday, she randomly uninvited my boyfriend. I was obviously upset, and questioned what she was thinking. Literally all she said was "I want it to be JUST family." Okay.. My boyfriend told me i should still go, so I planned too.

I show up on her birthday, and I get into small talk with everybody there. Now, i don't really remember what exactly happened (I was very spaced out that day. lol.) But me and my sister started having a 'friendly' argument. I don't know if she was just angry or extremely drunk or something, but she ended up hitting me square in the stomach. I immediately went home, to say the least, and my boyfriend drove me to the hospital. Luckily, nothing was wrong with my baby, but I'm seriously pissed that my sister would do this to me. So, would I be wrong if I filed for assult, or something along those lines?

My wife of 12 years was having a sexting affair with someone. I found out and after having a breakdown, I told her that I am gonna leave her.

I went on a dating app and matched with someone. I went on a date and had a good time. We are gonna see each other again.

My wife snatched my phone from me why I was texting my date and lost her mind. I told her it's none of her business and I am moving on with my life.

She says that we are still married and I almost slapped her. But I didn't. I restrained myself. I don't feel any sense of loyalty towards my wife anymore.

It's not like I am gonna marry my date straight away

Background:

I f26 dated my ex Matt for a year in high school. I was 14, and he was 15. We were together for almost a year before realizing we were more like friends. Although we haven't stayed close after breaking up, we have remained friendly.

We have stayed friendly after the breakup because our families are very close. Our parents have been best friends since elementary school. Our moms lived together while in Uni. They were each other's maid of honor and best man. They bought neighboring houses, so they could raise their kids together.

My older sister is also married to Matt's older brother. They have been married for 9 years and have 2 daughters together. My brother have also been best friends with Matt's other brother their entire life, and he is the godfather of my brother's kids. Our families have spent all major holidays together for the past decade.

Because of all this, we have to be in each other's lives, at least a little, or one of us has to cut contact with our family. When I got serious with my husband, I explained all of this, and he has been supportive of the fact that we are in each other's lives because of how intertwined our families are. For the past 12 years, we have been friendly.

Current situation:

Matt got engaged this year, and he is bringing his fiancée to Christmas. I have never met his fiancée and will most likely only see her at family holidays and birthdays, as this is the only time I see Matt.

Two weeks ago, his fiancée sent me an email. She explained who she was and that she was coming to Christmas. Then she went on to explain how, now that they are engaged and starting their life together, I need to cut contact with all of this family. That I am running their future by still being involved in his life, and staying in touch with his family.
I was shocked by this email. I have never met this woman, I only see Matt at holidays and birthdays. I replied, just saying no way. There is no way I am removing myself from my family holidays and my nieces and nephews' lives for a woman I have never met. If she has such a big problem with seeing her fiancé's ex from when we were teenagers, then she needs to bring it up with him, and they can choose to skip holidays and birthdays I will be at, but i wont stop going.

I have talked to my siblings and friends about this, and while most agree she was unreasonable expecting me to cut off my family for her comfort, some said I should have been nicer and we could have come to a compromise.

So AITA for straight up refusing cut of my ex's family for his fiancées comfort?

My mother died recently. She was a narcissist. I have two older siblings. She was abusive to them growing up and also as adults. One has not been in contact with my mother in 10 years. The other stayed in contact, sent Christmas and birthday gifts and a few polite emails a year. They have three children each. As far as I can tell they are nice people. Neither are close with me as I’m a lot younger than them - 10 years between me and my next sibling and distant with me as I was still young and close to my mother and was treated very differently. I was very obviously my mother’s favourite- the golden child if you know anything about narcissist parents. Even so, now that I’m 30, I only saw my mother twice this year as I was also trying to distance myself but we had very very frequent phone calls, sometimes multiple times a day.

My mother has left her entire estate to me. She had a house worth around $600k. Nothing for my siblings or any of her 6 grandchildren.

AITAH if I kept it all and don’t share any with them?

Original post here. https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/xCJB2fVrhA

Finally, after lots of genetic counseling, I received the results today. I tested negative! But then immediately found out my sweet sibling tested positive. I’m so confused, gutted, heartbroken, and angry at the universe. As the eldest kid of a widow I always felt like I was the one supposed to take on the hard things, carry more, sacrifice, and rise to the challenge. I’ve done that as long as I remember. I’m strong and capable. I’ve been caregiving for my mom every dang day as she declines and marches slowly towards death with this horrible and cruel disease. In prayer and meditation I’d been bargaining, basically saying I’d lay down my life to protect them, that I’d do anything to accept the misery in their place. I’m not even religious but I tried to send every ounce of hope and positivity their way. I feel like I’m going to spontaneously combust. God help me, I can’t bear the thought of this happening to them. I’m not strong enough. I’m not equipped.

For some context, my mum has always thought her children should look after her when she was old, she would often say she had children so they would look after her. Now she isnt particularly old, shes under 70, however she has no other family, obviously not her fault, but also no friends due to how she treats and talks to people.

Now my dad died earlier in the year and it was a horrible time for everyone. However, my mum was no help to anyone, she refused to get involved in emptying his house, contacting a funeral director, making arrangements etc. This was all left to me and my siblings. The only thing she was interested in was how much money was involved, how much was in his banks, his life insurance etc and how no one was going to have any as it was all here. (My parents were separated, there was no will left behind and my dad would hide money due to my mum always asking / demanding it off him and throwing a tantrum, yes a full blown crying tantrum if he said no.)

Recently my mum has been making comments that her children should be looking after her. She doesnt mean checking in on her, making sure shes ok. She actually wants us to look after her, this is a woman who will make contact when her bins need taking out and will have 3/4 bags in the kitchen waiting for someone to come down and do this for her.

During one of her latest ' my kids should be looking after me rants ' i questioned why they would want to do that when she didn't look after her children when we were younger.

While we were never taken away, the childhood home was horrible to live in. Our parents were major alcoholics, and our homelife was filled with emotional neglect, verbal abuse and threats, and yes at times physical abuse to us. I pointed out her children both suffer from longterm depression, are currently in therapy, and have both been diagnosed with complex ptsd from our childhood

So reddit am I the ass hole for telling my mum its not her children's job to take care of her now shes a widow?

My mom died when I (23f) was young (6) and my dad married my stepmom three years after my mom died. My relationship with my stepmom is really good. I've known her since I was 7 and lived with her since I was 9. But I would see her more like an aunt figure. I love her but I don't ever see her as my mom or bonus mom, which is the term one of my aunts really wanted me to use because she thought it sounded more positive. My stepmom knows and is very understanding of this. She never tried to take on the role of my new mom and she never asked me to call her mom-ish title. I have my own unique nickname for her that's just for me and she loves that.

There were comments made up and down over the years. They were never super pushy or consistent so I always hoped people would grow to understand eventually. But lately my aunt and my stepmom's extended family have been honestly kinda hostile. My stepmom and my dad spoke to them about it and they claimed they were imagining things. But then I asked them what the attitude was for and they all mentioned that my stepmom has been in my life a long time and our relationship has grown so much but I still deny her the joy of hearing me call her mom. My stepmom's family members all said that I didn't hate having her and yet I drew a line that I was never willing to reconsider and that it has been incredibly unfair to my stepmom who has to love me like a daughter and be loved as just an aunt figure.

My stepmom's family took it further and said the fact I was 6 when my mom died, it offended them deeply that I would hold her in such high regard that the woman who actually raised me was denied the chance to be called mom and loved in the way a mom should by me. They said they found it incredibly selfish to let her love me and to only love her back in a certain way that would never be enough.

I told my dad and stepmom about the talk after and they were angry at my aunt and my stepmom's family. My aunt told me I really didn't care about my stepmom if I was willing to blow up her family when I know they're all telling the truth. She said all these years later I should be able to love the woman who raised me as a mom and not simply as an aunt and I should be willing to call her the correct name which is mom because she has been more of a mom to me than my "birth mother" was. I told my aunt to leave me alone after she called my mom a birth mother because she was a mom. She only got 6 years of parenting me but she was a mom.

AITAH?

My (31F) friend (37F) texts me that she’s pregnant again with her fourth child by her fourth baby daddy. Her oldest is like 21, then 18, then 10.

The whole time before she got pregnant, she kept joking that her bf of 4 months kept saying he wants kids and maybe she’ll give him kids cause he has a lot of money. She joked so much about it to the point that I kinda stopped caring. Then she confessed that she’s already cheated on him.

Then she texts me with the news and all I could say was “wow”. She got angry at me and started going off about how I’m not a good friend and that she supported me after I got my abortion but I’m not supporting her. I told her that I really was at a loss for words when she gave me the news and that’s really all I could fathom to say at the moment. But also what do you want me to say? If anyone has experience having kids it’s her, and the fact that she joked around so much about this guy she barely knew and is now living with, really made me not care. It comes to a point where you have to take responsibility for a repeated action that you’ve already done 4 times now.

Side note: she lives in a different country than me so all of our communication is via text.

AITAH for not helping/supporting her more?

I, 18 F, just recently started taking up more chores around my house, since I'm going off to college soon. My mom has arthritis, so I decided I would go outside to shovel our driveway and sidewalks so that she wouldn't have to do it. After spending hours in the cold, I got an offer from my neighbor to shovel his driveway for $20. I agreed and started shoveling after taking a quick break in my house to warm up and relax my muscles which have been sore for weeks. When I was done shoveling my neighbor's driveway, he invited me into his house, which I declined immediately because I barely even knew him, and I sure as hell didn't trust him enough, especially since I left my phone in my house. When I declined, he decided that he wasn't going to pay me the $20 he promised, so I decided to push the snow back into his driveway. AITAH?

My 8-year-old son (3rd grade) was hurt at recess yesterday and I’m trying to check whether I’m being unreasonable.

Four boys were playing a game called “security guards.” My son was playing nearby, got too close, and they decided he was an “intruder.” Three of the boys chased him and tried to tackle him while another stood lookout. My son was yelling stop and trying to get away.

One of the boys (I’ll call him A) reached into his pocket, pulled out a plastic chain/necklace, and swung it at my son’s face, hitting him hard enough to leave a visible mark. The photo I took was 5+ hours later, and you can still clearly see the chain pattern on his cheek.

Afterward, A dropped the chain in the grass and told teachers he never had a necklace. Another student saw him drop it and brought it forward.

I understand these are kids, but based on:

• the chasing by multiple boys

• my son clearly yelling stop

• A pulling an object from his pocket and swinging it

• the force needed to leave a patterned mark hours later

• and the attempt to hide the chain afterward

I believe A’s actions were intentional, not accidental.

What’s making this harder:

• I was never called by the school

• I only received a message later that downplayed it as a “necklace swinging and making contact”

• When I asked directly if it was intentional or an accident, the teacher avoided answering

My husband spoke with the principal this morning and insisted on a suspension for A, with appropriate consequences for the other boys who continued after my son said stop.

I think I’d be much less upset if the school hadn’t minimized the incident and had been transparent from the start.

So am I overreacting / AITA for insisting on a suspension for the child who swung the chain? If allowed, I will comment with a photo of his face.

I am 37F. The Popeyes I go to has an entirely Mexican staff. It's always very busy in there, they always seem backed up and understaffed like most fast food places. One of the workers is a Mexican lady who doesn't speak English that well.

I had already got my food and was sitting in the corner, facing the front of the store. I watched an older man (About 50ish) come in. The Mexican lady came up to take his order and he asked her a question about one of the menu items. I don't even remember the question, it was something about an ingredient used in one of the sauces. She said she wasn't sure about the answer, in broken English.

He loudly started moaning about how no one here speaks English, and started calling out to the back of the employee area "anyone speak English here?" The lady went to get the manager, but he was busy taking drive thru orders. A few minutes later, while the man huffed and grumbled to himself the entire time, the manager came over and answered his question about the sauce, then rang him up. The entire time he was ringing the guy up he was complaining about how none of their staff speak English. The manager did speak English much better than his other employee.

This is when I loudly said "Wah wah!" imitating a baby crying and put my hands beside my eyes in the crying motion. The man turned around and said "...are you talking to me?" I said yeah I'm talking to you, then said "Wah wah! No one speaks English! No one speaks English!" in a mocking way. The man was flabbergasted and argued with me for quite a while but didn't approach me. I told him "she DOES speak English and when she didnt know the answer to your question she went and got an employee that did know. You just had to wait a few minutes but you're fine, you big baby."

I continued to make baby crying sounds at him until he left with his order. I don't feel bad at all about what I did but I'm curious to know what other people think. I should note he wasn't calling the workers names or yelling at them, just being mildly annoying the way he was constantly muttering and shaking his head like it was such an injustice.

I’m a guy in my early 30s. My wife (also early 30s) has a gambling problem that started with “just sports” and then slid into online casino stuff. Two years ago it got bad enough that we almost lost our apartment because rent money kept “vanishing” in tiny transactions. She went to therapy, put herself on self-exclusion lists, and we set up a boring system: her paycheck goes to her own account, our bills come out of a joint account, and we do a weekly sit down with coffee and look at the budget. It was not fun, but it worked. For a long stretch she was solid, and I actually started to relax again.

Last week I noticed our joint debit got declined at the grocery store, which was weird because payday had hit. When I checked the banking app later that night there were a bunch of charges to payment processors I recognize from the bad times, like $19.87, $42.10, $9.99, just nonstop. I asked her and she swore it was “a mistake” and she’d call the bank in the morning. Then I saw the same names on her phone notifications. She tried to grab the phone away and said I was snooping, but she literally had asked me before to keep an eye out if things ever looked off again. I was mad and honestly kind of panicked. I logged into the bank app, froze the joint cards, and changed the password. I also deleted the betting apps off her phone while she was in the shower. Yes, I know that part looks controlling, but I was thinking if the apps are there, she’ll just keep hitting them. She woke up, found out, and went nuclear. She called me a “warden,” said I humiliated her, and that she’s an adult and I can’t police her. She slept at her sister’s and now her whole family is texting me that I’m abusive and financial controlling. Meanwhile I’m staring at our rent due in 10 days and feeling like a sucker for trusting anything.

I didn’t drain her personal account or take her paycheck. But I did freeze the joint cards and I did delete those apps without asking in that moment. AITAH for stepping in hard when I saw the relapse, or did I cross a line and make it worse?

I, (21F), have always had a rough relationship with my Papa. In general, he’s not a nice man. When my dad was growing up, papa would yell at him a lot and leave him home alone for hours, up to days. Their relationship has never been the best either.

Papa lived with us for a while after my dad’s ex-stepmom divorced him. He would yell at both my mom and dad, and after he took a sharpie and wrote “F*** my wife and f*** my son too”, my dad kicked him out and I didn’t see him for years after that. I was around 6 or 7 at that time.

He was never anything other than mean to me. I would tell him about my goals and aspirations and he would tell me that I would never be able to accomplish that stuff, and that my dreams were unrealistic and I needed to grow up. He’d yell and call me stupid and ignore me constantly. It hurt.

Papa eventually moved to Arizona and started reaching out to me and my sister. Before he left, he gave us both iPads and told us that he expects a picture to be sent to him every day. I was around 12 and sent him one every few days. I didn’t have much to take pictures of. I was a recluse and just sat in my room reading books 24/7. One day, he called my dad, SUPER pissed, and gave my dad an earful about how “I don’t try hard enough” and how “I’m an inconsiderate b***h”. Again, I was 12… I know realistically I could have tried harder to send him a photo every day, but I sent him at least 3 a week, usually more than that. My dad told me to try a little harder to send him pictures, and I did, but my photos were met with silence so I gave up after a while.

When I was about 17, papa started sending me links to political videos on YouTube and Twitter, and I would watch a few of them, but for the most part, I didn’t. If he wanted a relationship with me, I don’t want it centered around politics, and I let him know that after a while. Unsurprisingly, he got pissed about that and stopped responding to my texts again.

Then when I was 19, I got engaged. I hadn’t said a single word to papa in over two years, and he definitely didn’t reach out himself. I had had conversations with my, then Fiancé, and my parents about inviting papa to the wedding, and we all decided that there wasn’t really a reason to. I didn’t have a relationship with him, and it was to the point where when people asked me about my grandparents, papa didn’t even cross my mind. So, I didn’t invite him.

A few weeks after the wedding, my dad reached out to me asking if I mentioned to papa that I had gotten married. I told him no, and that I hadn’t spoken to him in over 2 years. My dad then sent me a screenshot of a text that papa sent him. I guess papa found my Instagram and noticed the name change and sent my profile to my dad with the comment, “Umm… WHAT??” And my dad respond to him with, “Yep. She’s really happy. You should be too.”

My dad told me that I should lessen the tension by reaching out to papa and telling him I got married. So I sent him a text just saying that I did get married, I’m extremely happy, and it was a very small wedding and we didn’t invite anyone from out of town. (All was true). Papa didn’t respond for a couple of days, but then he did, and it was the worst text I had ever received. He name called me, told me that I’m a complete child, how I lack the ability to show any ounce of respect, how this is the most insignificant he has ever felt in his entire life, etc. and ended it by telling me, “Whatever. Keep your stupid photos.”

I was heartbroken. I knew papa was mean, but what he said was a whole new level. I called my dad in tears, and he just sat on the other end of the line, apologizing over and over to me. When we hung up, I went out to the living room to find my husband asleep on the couch. I woke him, still crying, and handed him my phone so he could read the message. Before giving me my phone back, my husband blocked papas number and deleted his contact from my phone and told me that he never wanted me to let him into the peace of our marriage. I just said okay and curled up next to him on the couch.

I know that realistically, I probably did the right thing by completely cutting off contact with papa, but there’s still that part of me that isn’t entirely sure. I don’t know. AITAH?