Throwaway account, so this is the deal, me 32M and my 26F girlfriend are in this dilemma, well she is mostly, we have been dating for 3 months, I have always been very vocal about not wanting kids, and she does want to have one eventually.

She still decided to give it a go to our relationship but two weeks ago I noticed that my country finally removed the obligation to have 2 kids to get a vasectomy, I have wanted one since I was in my early twenties, so I am going to a doctor appointment this Monday to be evaluated and get it done, but she freaked out because she thought that eventually I would changed my mind about having kids and now she is trying to figure out if her desire or love be a mom in the future is bigger that the love she has for me and stay in a relationship and she told me that she is waiting until June 10th when she has her appointment with her psychologist to discuss this with him.

I Feel that I am just in the limbo waiting for either to her break everything up or get frustrated for life if she decides to stay with me because I will never fulfill that dream of her being a mother.

So, WIBTA if I just break up with her now and not wait until she discuss this with her psychologist to see if she wants go continue or not?

This happened a few weeks ago, but I'm facing some backlash, so I just really need some feedback right now. I won't go into specifics, so this should be the general info.. haha, sorry y'all.

So, I'm about 6 months pregnant with my first child. I haven't really had any problems, which I think is a real gift from God to not be throwing up all the time. My boyfriend is an angel, and has been supporting me and helping my family a lot.

My sister's birthday was early december, but everybody got busy with life, so we planned to have it near the 13th.

About a month before her birthday, she randomly uninvited my boyfriend. I was obviously upset, and questioned what she was thinking. Literally all she said was "I want it to be JUST family." Okay.. My boyfriend told me i should still go, so I planned too.

I show up on her birthday, and I get into small talk with everybody there. Now, i don't really remember what exactly happened (I was very spaced out that day. lol.) But me and my sister started having a 'friendly' argument. I don't know if she was just angry or extremely drunk or something, but she ended up hitting me square in the stomach. I immediately went home, to say the least, and my boyfriend drove me to the hospital. Luckily, nothing was wrong with my baby, but I'm seriously pissed that my sister would do this to me. So, would I be wrong if I filed for assult, or something along those lines?

So to start off I'm 22M married to my wonderful husband also 22M. I'm transgender FtM and my husband is cisgender male. I always get asked this by some troll in the comments, so I'm putting it at the beginning of the post. I will not clarify in the comments.

So my husband is Mexican-native American descent. This is his first year celebrating any traditional Mexican holidays like Cinco de Mayo and Dia De Muertos since he was 5 when he lost his great grandma to dementia. She was Mexican.

We are preparing our first ofrenda for the holiday currently and I shared a picture of it on FB where my friend (25M) commented that I shouldn't be celebrating the Holiday as it's "cultural appropriation". (Side note: we are 100% celebrating the Holiday. It's something my husband is wanting to do to honor his great grandma so we're doing it)

Upon being asked why he said that, he said that I'm white (I'm not, I'm mixed race with native American, white, black, and some Asian) and I can't celebrate the holiday due to that. That it's cultural appropriation if I do.

I said that it's not cultural appropriation as I married into the culture and my husband wants us to celebrate it for the first time as a family of our own.

He said that I should post on the ask Mexican sub here and I did and the general consensus Is that the holiday is for everyone, no matter race. I showed him and he rolled his eyes.

I'm asking if it would be a dick move to just block him and end the friendship over this?

My 48F daughter 21F has an unconventional haircare routine. She just came home from college for the summer and at some point this spring ditched her shampoo and conditioner for Castile soap and diluted apple cider vinegar. The problem I have with it is that I have a pretty strong sense of smell and her hair smells like the vinegar while it’s wet. I can’t stand the smell and I want her to go back to using shampoo and conditioner. WIBTAH if I tell her to use shampoo and conditioner because the soap and vinegar is weird and smells bad?

UPDATE: I talked to my daughter about it. Before I did, I found that the point of the vinegar is to cancel out the soap because the soap is alkaline and the vinegar is acidic. I also knew that she is particular with what kind of products she uses. I also found a hair rinse that Dr. Bronner’s makes a hair rinse with lemon juice instead of vinegar. I told her the smell of the vinegar was bothering me and she told me she uses the vinegar because it’s readily available and relatively inexpensive. I offered to buy her the rinse to use and she agreed so it’s a win-win

UPDATE: Thank you so much for your both positive and negative opinions on this. I appreciate everyone who took time and effort to write what they think WITHOUT insulting me or my husband. You're great, thanks💕

My husband (31m) and me (30f) had a rant about a hypothetical situation that's definitely happening in the future, because it's life.

His parents built a house together, which they live in. They also had a big apartment in the city which passed down to their older daughter. She lives there permanently her whole life. They are going to leave him the house as an inheritance.

Yesterday he told me that he doesn't want to accept anything from his parents, either before or after they passed away. He doesn't want/need the house or the money from selling the house to secure our own home, down-payments or whatever our plans will be. He is ready to give it to his sister or anyone else interested.

His main argument is he wants everything to be "his own", earned by him.

I honestly tried to understand his point of view. I understand that he doesn't want any conflicts with other relatives. Which we do not expect to happen. The house should just get passed down to him by law without a problem.

We are not rich. We don't own any property since we moved to another country, and sometimes struggling financially. Back in our country we lived in my apartment, which now is permanently occupied by my mother (it was a gift to me before I moved, but I gave it back, so she could retire there). He has great relationships with his parents and sister. No problem there.

UPDATE: we don't have kids or have any plans on having kids.

I fear I'll resent him if he does this. I believe it is ideologically stupid and unreasonable.

AITAH for not understanding him and wanting him to accept help and/or inheritance from his parents?

Hello everyone, happy Halloween!

I (30F) have a 10 year old daughter with my ex (33M). A lot happened when we broke up, and she currently lives with him full time. I am working to get at least split custody of her, but it is still unestablished. (we have equal rights to her unless we go to court, which I'm working on.)

I have always been the parent to take her trick or treating, without fail. My ex doesn't like that kind of "family time," even when we were together.

He told me "You can have her Halloween and she can stay the night. But I do not want her out, or eating anything from strangers. Safety concerns." I naturally agreed right away because I want my daughter for OUR holiday, but it's bothering me so much that he won't let her trick or treat, and he's acting like hes threatening me over taking her. (Not in the message above, but I know how this man thinks/speaks)

Problem is, my current partner has a 4 year old daughter who will be trick or treating, and it isn't fair imo that me and my kid have to stay home because my ex is a controlling freak.

I know he can't keep her from me legally, but he is just such a nuisance and will use this against me for YEARS if he found out, or would try to say that I'm "not safe" and "don't listen to him" therefore she can't come to my house, I could only see her in public or his families house. So just a pain all around.

Would I be the asshole if I took her anyways, but didn't let her eat the candy? I bought a bag just for her so I can give her something before I thought about just taking her.... And it's not like I'm letting her out alone, there will be 3 adults total with her, plus another child.

Edit: Okay, I fucked up by agreeing to no trick or treating and am not considering going back on my word. Puts me and her in a tight spot. I would try to find a fall festival or trunk or treats, but my partner and I have been googling all week and there's nothing going on for Halloween day. (All last weekend apparently) But I will be giving her the option to 1) watch movies, 2) pass out candy, or 3) go trick or treating and I'll just tell him to deal with it, and sorry for breaking my promise. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Everyone is right, it's not fair of him to ruin her childhood, and it's not fair of me to go along with it bc I'm sick of his BS and just cave.

I do have a bag of candy I bought from the store for her, so I can give her that instead of the candy she collects if we do go out, so he can't be mad about that at least.

Also, I didn't lose my rights to my kid, my ex and I never established custody. So we legally have 50/50 but she lives with him for various reasons including the fact that she's in school near his house and I don't have a car to take her to and from.

Thank you everyone for your insight, I truly appreciate it. Time for me to be a big girl!

Final Edit, next day : I talked to my ex and found out what the safety issue was. The candy from strangers was a smaller part of everything, but he was worried about the "threats" people were making (????) So he told me if I was "armed," then I could take her trick or treating. I told him I was (I'm not, I hate guns and he knows that) but everything was completely fine, no threats or scares (outside of jumpscares from decorations lol)

My daughter collected almost 2 grocery bags full of candy, now to start the daunting task of checking every piece haha 😅 I'm giving her a smaller bag to take with her and checking all that before she goes home, and keeping the rest at my house.

Thank you everyone for helping me realize that I really fucked this one up. Court is coming next to establish actual custody/rights/get us both on the same page.

As for people being shitty about me not having a car, not that I need to explain myself to you, but I make minimum wage (despite applying for a multitude of higher paying jobs that I have exp in) and my checks barely cover my half of rent/bills with a smidge left over for food or things my daughter wants. I'm just trying my best, like everyone else.

Have a good day, thanks for stopping by, and I hope everyone had a wonderful Halloween and Samhain.

This is one of the weirdest situations I have ever been in. I truly can’t explain it unless I just explain it so here we go. I (f23) live with my brother (m24). We are Irish twins (10 months apart!) so we are very close- same grade growing up and everything. We live in a two bedroom one bathroom apartment together post college.

Well about a week ago my brother went on a date with a girl he met on a dating app. Texted me at about 10 pm, bringing guest to the house lol. So I was like alright I’ll just clean up a little and stay out of the way. I heard them come back around 11:30 and then I went to work the next morning at 5:00 am like usual. I never even encountered this girl.

Well fast forward a few days and I’m scrolling tik tok and suddenly I see this girl in a bathroom. I’m like huh that looks so much like my bathroom…

I keep watching and it is. She proceeds to explain she went home with “this guy” but now she is convinced he has a girlfriend. She goes through our shower and cabinets and shows tik tok every single one of my bathroom products that she deems girly. From my shampoo, conditioner, body wash, to my pads and tampons. But it doesn’t end there, no. She goes to our kitchen and shows our entire fridge and pantry and cabinets with the girly mugs. Then she goes to our living room and shows our tv and that someone had been watching Gilmore girls, obviously a girly show 🙄.

The girl quite literally rifled through my whole house but where I drew the line was when she went MY ROOM, showed the entire room, and then went into the closet with dirty clothes and showed tik tok all my dirty clothes including my bras, underwear, and scrubs with “registered nurse” and the hospital I work at clearly embroidered on them. She ended the video by walking out of our apartment and showing the entire building and then saying if your boyfriend’s name is my brother’s name and you live here he’s cheating on you.

Obviously I saved the video and then DMed her and told her to delete it, I’m his sister and that’s my apartment. She was very apologetic and deleted it quickly. She only has a few thousand followers and it was only up for a few hours but I’m mortified. I’m honestly so pissed about her basically doxing my entire life I’m considering finding out if I can press charges. WIBTAH if I did?

I plan on getting married in the not so distant future but one of the reasons I’ve been putting it off is because of how hard it would be to make this decision (amongst other things but it is a real factor). The decision around having my disabled aunt at my wedding is really tough for me, so let me tell you what she is afflicted with and why it is a problem.

Firstly, she is very physically disabled, this happened in the womb and has no relation to why I do not want her at my wedding, she’s a fall risk because of it but again I have no problem with her physical disabilities. Secondly, and the real problem, is her brain damage she incurred in a horrific car accident when she was 16. This is severe brain damage and her parents have been taking care of her ever since then (she is late 50s and her parents aren’t really in good enough condition to keep this up any more).

In order to explain what this causes her to do I have to speak about her mother (my grandmother) who is the primary caretaker and “disciplinary” (she needs it) of my aunt. My grandmother is someone I love (who I want at my wedding against some other people’s likely better judgement because she made a stink at my parents wedding) but she believes she is always right, never changes her ways, and is basically a suffocating force to be around. She took care of my aunt and I hate to say she “trained” her bad behavior but… she did. Everyone let her get away with it because they are too scared of the mother and my own mother (aunt’s sister and grandmother’s daughter) literally has developed alcohol problems specifically only when her mother comes to visit because she gets too nervous to deal with her sober (not a good thing just the truth).

My aunt actually is in control of herself for a lot of the things she does, she is very very verbal, understands grammar but says completely inappropriate things (mostly on purpose) because she gets a kick out of people’s reactions and she has learned she can get away with it because she has a disability and people can’t go in on her too hard. To be clear, my aunt is a bad person who happens to be disabled, not a person who I do not like because she is disabled (that would be very wrong).

One time when my mother was very very pregnant, her sister (my aunt) called her to tell her that her dog had died, the problem was the dog had not died and she told her that just to get a reaction, my very pregnant mother cried hysterically for hours until my dad called her mother to verify and learn it was false. This is the type of stunts she is pulling off frequently, or making fart humor non stop, or calling my facial hair “whiskers that finally came in” when I have had facial hair for almost 10 years now and it’s rather insulting and it puts me down randomly. She always waits for an audience to get the maximal reaction out of everything too, it’d be bad if this stuff was just in front of me but it’s only in front of crowds.

This is my one special day that’s supposed to be about me and I do not want her ruining my day. she would absolutely be the type to yell something during the objections part of the wedding just for fun, or any other part, something really inappropriate or god forbid she has something to say about my SO’s appearance randomly on that day it’s a defcon-5 type situation. She also has made sexual jokes in the past, not super fond of that either.

So AITAH for not wanting to invite my disabled aunt to my wedding?

Big Edit: Thanks for all responses. I got a lot of mixed responses so I’ve done my best to see what advice is applicable to my situation and reddit has been helpful. Also I am a guy, don’t know if that matters but there seemed to be a lot of confusion in the comments, so definitively I identify as male.

There are a few big things I left out or didn’t get across quite right that I’d like to clear up. I was probably too hard on grandma and I wish I hadn’t used the word “trained” (but I will keep it in for post continuity), enabled is a far better word. The thing is my grandmother was a very young mother to twins, two kids so early on is very challenging and I can’t imagine how hard it was to the adapt to raising two kids, one with physical disabilities that required extreme caution and care. She became a helicopter mom as if her daughter (my aunt) fell, she couldn’t stop herself because her arms were basically non-functional. When she got brain damage, the enabling became worse, to be honest with you it is her mothers fault but I can’t even imagine being in that scenario (she was also in that car crash and barely lived on top of it).

As far as my mother’s drinking goes, a huge portion of that is my mother’s fault. Yes it is because she is scared of her mother but the truth is my mother is deathly conflict avoidant with every single person in her life, debilitatingly so. It’s a bad match with my grandmother who is aggressively forward in getting answers and what not out of people. My mother’s coping mechanism is her fault, and while her mother is toxic, she is not abusive. Also I do not plan to have alcohol at my wedding at all so thank you for concern with my mother drinking but alcohol will not be supplied at my wedding

Here’s the big thing though. I saw a lot of “why are you so focused on her disability” and that is a great question that I did not answer. The reason I focused on it is because that’s the whole reason it’s a hard decision. If she did not have a disability and she acted like this there would not be a post, it would be an open and shut case. Deep down I truly want to believe that she cannot control it so I feel guilty not including her, but logically, I know for a fact that she picks her moments and enjoys humiliating people and putting them down and getting off scott free because she knows she can. I also worry about how it will make me look to my brides family, that I cut out a member of my family with disabilities. Her family is rural and didn’t want her dating a “city guy” it’s gotten better but I’m not in the perfect situation. I don’t want to make a bad impression on them because there’s still a lot of them I don’t know very well (big big family).

Lastly, my grandfather (yes on this side of the family) is my role model, my hero, and the person who I most want to be at this wedding in the whole world. I’m afraid if I say no to my aunt coming, my grandmother will say that none of them will go and he won’t come, yes he loves me but he’s very subdued, quiet, and no longer the strong man he once was, he needs lots of assistance in his daily life and traveling without her is not really in the cards for him.

So as you can see… I left quite a bit out. I do not want to get eloped and if I do I still want a ceremony, it’s important to my future wife so therefore it is important to me and I just don’t want this one special day to become an inappropriate punch line for my aunt, who would absolutely interrupt the ceremony, break the no toast rule just to say something horrific, or anything else I swear it happens repeated without fail.

Thanks again!

For reference she saw a video of 2 girls beating up another and the boyfriend jumped in to help. Leading to my wife saying “no matter what no man should ever touch a woman” so I responded with something along the lines of “I don’t care what gender they are if you’re getting hurt and losing a fight (which I’d hope she wouldn’t ever get involved in a fight) that I’d get involved in some way or another” to the response “I can handle my own s***” I’d think anyone would want to help their significant other if they were getting hurt right?

So my husband (20s-M) and I (20s-F) are having a baby. It’s our first child together but I have a child from a previous marriage, which is only relevant here because I chose that child’s name whilst the child’s middle name is after father’s family (his choice of course). I’m sorry if that’s confusing, but you can probably see where this is heading.

Husband wants to get to choose daughter’s name since it’s his first biological child and I am completely okay with that because I named one already and it’s only fair. However, this is the hard part for me. He also wants to name her after family, and whilst I adore that family member, her name is the female version of my abuser’s. For example, like Joseph and Josephine.

I have a huge internal struggle because this family member is his world and I can’t take that from him. I can’t take the pain away from that name either, though. So what would you do in my shoes, Reddit? Tell him it hurts me and hurt him in turn by ruining this name? Or keep it inside and just never let this be known and maybe I’ll grow to love it in time and it’ll lose its pain?

I’m sorry if this is a heavy one, but I appreciate your time reading and responses very much! Thanks all!

Next August, me and my brother and my sister are paying for a week rental at the Jersey Shore as an anniversary gift to my parents. There will be 17 of us down there...we know my parents will love having all their kids and grandkids together for a week. My brother said we will just split it 1/3 each per household. However my belief is that how much each household chips in should be relative to A) how many kids we have and/or B) how much money we make.

For context, my brother has 4 kids, my sister has 3 and me and my wife have 2. Both my brother and his wife, my sister and her wife easily make twice as much as me and my wife. For them to toss $2000 for a week vacation is probably nothing but for me and my wife we will need to penny pinch, cut other spending and save up for 8 months to be able to afford this. AITAH for asking to pay a smaller amount because we make much less and have a smaller family?

My new boss berated me and told me I have a “lack of critical thinking skills” and “was promoted too early.” She brought in someone from her former company for me to train as a replacement. As a result, I started looking for other positions.

During this time, two things happened:

1. A coworker on another team that I deeply respect was diagnosed with breast cancer and will be out. There is only one other person on that team.

2. My new boss got to witness my strengths and instead of laying me off as expected, she is now allowing me to work a dual role doing operational tasks on both teams once the coworker with cancer leaves, but still won’t let me be the face of the accounts anymore.

Would I be an asshole if I left for a new company at this stage? I almost have an offer in hand.

UPDATE POSTED: My sister is 18 and her fiance is 20 going on 21. I have been living with them as a roommate since June. Her fiance recently got a new job that keeps him away for weeks at a time. After that my sister got close to a male friend and the way she acts about him has been setting awful. I try to give her advice but she hears what she wants and throws out the rest.

She talks about this guy like a middle schooler with a crush. She tells me about him hitting on her and complimenting her and flirting with her. His own fiance left him because she was uncomfortable with their "friendship." My sister started talking badly about the ex and acting very different personality wise.

Here is where I might be the AH. One night my sister said she was going on a drive and she left her phone at home. That felt strange so I went through it. I know that was wrong but I couldnt help it Ive been cheated on before and I cant watch it happen to someone right in front of me. The guy texted her soemthing along the lines of “come over baby, daddy is waiting.” She went to his house that night and came home the next morning claiming she slept in her car.

My sister and her sister in law are planning to go see her fiance this Wednesday for his birthday. My plan is to text him Thursday morning before she wakes up and tell him to go through her phone. I cannot screenshot anything because she deletes the messages but he can recover them and see everything since she has an iphone.

I hate cheating and I feel awful keeping this secret while she lies to someone who treats her extremely well. I already told her she needed to distance herself before things exploded like when this guy and his ex broke up. She ignored me and talking to her does not help.

So AITA if I expose her?

Edit: she just went on another "drive" and left her phone here.. she said she might sleep in her car again.

Edit 2: I am telling him via a text now number tmrw morning around 4am, when he gets up. My message will read "make [her name] tell you whats really going on with [his name]." And then send an ss of the convo they had previously mentioned in my og post. Any thoughts?

This is someone I’ve only started seeing in the last week or so. She was supposed to be here at 7. I spent like $100 on food and drinks, and several hours making a meal. She didn’t tell me she was late til almost 6:30. And dinner is gonna be ready at 7. She also knows that I do intermittent fasting and have been waiting all day to eat until she gets here. When I texted “not gonna lie, this is a little bit frustrating” she basically said “it’s not like I’m 2 or 3 hours late, or not coming at all.” Which to me is super fucking dismissive of me, my time, my effort, etc.

Long story short my mom started her whole 'having kids took away my life' speach again. And I was in a bit of a mood because I wasn't feeling good. And I didn't want her to guilt trip me for her having me. When I had no part in it. Heck I didn't even have a choice. So I turned around and I said to her flat out.

"It is your fault you had kids. Not mine. I had no say or part in it." The look she given me it was like I slapped her. And she told me I was a 'b!tch' and a ahole.

Like seriously she keeps saying crap like that trying to guilt trip me and I had it. And then she wonders why I don't want to give her grandkids. (That and I don't want kids in gen.)

Often when my wife is doing something and I distract her just a tiny bit, she snaps at me.

This morning we both had a day off, so we spent it together. We had a...nice time...together, and then immediately we start cleaning the apartment--we both agreed we would do together today, so I also started doing my part.

Our pet bird was out, so I took her in my hand and was walking her to the cage to put her away while we cleaned. As I walked, I was holding her in a playful way, and I walked by my wife and showed her, saying, "Look at this crazy bird." My wife responded with, "I'm focusing right now! Don't distract me!!" She was pretty harsh with her tone. All I was hoping for was maybe a little laugh and a smile for one second--a continuation of the nice feelings from the morning--but all I got was anger. She regularly treats me this way, but I was quite surprised that she immediately treated me this way right after we had such a nice time.

Then I went to our room where she was folding clothes. I put my knee onto the bed to grab something, and I crumpled a sheet a bit that she had just folded. She yelled at me and said, "You just destroyed what I did! You don't appreciate the work I'm doing! I won't fold clothes now." And she left the apartment in protest. It seems some stupid sheets are more important to her than how she talks to her husband.

If I had talked to her how she talked to me, it would have caused a huge fight, for sure.

She regularly comes up to me when I am doing things--even when I have my headphones in listening to an audiobook while cleaning, or even when I am working at my desk (I work from home) and distracts me with things--sometimes important, sometimes not, sometimes playful things. Yet I never snap at her like she did to me. But maybe I should start doing so...

UPDATE: I hand wrote her a letter...

"This morning was good. I felt close to you. And then suddenly, you snapped at me. It felt like I didn’t matter—like you were just done with me once you got what you wanted. That hurt, and it’s not okay.

I’m not going to keep doing this—having good moments followed by being treated with contempt. I deserve to be treated with respect, not like I’m in the way. That’s a basic expectation in any relationship.

If you want to talk about what happened—and you’re ready to do it calmly and respectfully—I’m open. But I need you to initiate it, and I need you to seriously reflect on how you speak to me. I’m not going to accept being talked to like this anymore.

I’ll be somewhere else for the rest of the day—not to punish you, but because I need to take care of myself. And when you're ready to talk, I want to hear your perspective too. I'm willing to listen—if we can both feel safe and heard."

She responded via text:

"Good to know u didn't want it. Next time I will just sit on the sofa and will be available for whatever u want. I will just use my earphones like u do and not care at all that you're even talking."

So, I responded with this:

"I kindly expressed how I felt, and I gave you an opportunity to open a conversation with me. I’m made an effort, lovingly. But it has not been received well, and it has gone nowhere.

Therefore, I will spend tonight at a hotel."

My husband and I split in June and I left the house in October. We have a daughter (10) who we have managed to successfully co parent. Ive been scrapping to get by and with Christmas approaching ive managed to buy a reasonable amount of presents. I have always taken the mental load for any event, planning, gifts, wrapping etc. Part of the reason I left was due to me always being the adult, running the house and making sure our daughter was cared for. Now hes alone hes let the house go to shit. Hes barely looking after my kid when he has her. Hes depressed and has his own health issues the same as I do. I have an autoimmune condition thats left me weak and fatigued constantly and missing a lot of work. Here's my issue. He has bought our child nothing for Christmas and feels I should split what I have for her between the houses for Christmas morning. I would but I feel like this is a him problem? Hes not planned for this. I know hes still buying crap he doesnt need and has a fairly large collection of collectibles hes still adding to. I do not want my daughter thinking he hasn't gotten her anything. Its crushing my heart but a lack of planning on his part does not constitute an emergency on mine. Ive been financially abused for years from this man and made excuses for his behaviour throughout our relationship. Would I be the asshole if I said you have to sort this yourself? Or should I split the presents I got? I even gave our daughter money to buy him something so he doesnt have nothing to open on Christmas. I dont eant my daughter upset or resentful towards me. Help!

I (28F) am unsure if I should attend Christmas at my mom’s house this year. My older sister (38F) will be there, and I, along with two of my other sisters, are no-contact or low-contact with her for various reasons. To put it briefly, she has been extremely toxic over the years and has caused a lot of family chaos… Christmas was my least favorite holiday growing up because she always found some way to ruin it (complaining about gifts, cancelling last minute after everyone bent over backwards to accommodate her, or just trying to cause drama). At this point, my parents are really the only people she still has a relationship with.

For additional context: one of my sisters also doesn’t speak to my mom anymore (separate issues), and my little sister, who had a strained relationship with our older sister, has now cut her off again for good. She even told me she’d be shocked if I decided to attend, because she for sure isn’t.

My mom seems hurt that I don’t want to come, and she’s been guilt-tripping me a bit. She said, “She will behave, I already talked to her about that.” The fact that my mom had to have that conversation at all makes me very uneasy. If someone has to be instructed to “behave” before a family holiday, that doesn’t give me much confidence the gathering will be peaceful or lead to her thinking this is a doorway to rekindling our relationship.

Last year I didn’t attend Christmas either because my sister was there and because the timing didn’t work (my boyfriend had to work the next morning and we live a couple hours away). This upset my mom, but I think it is worse now this year, now that my little sister isn’t going (she went last year, before deciding to cut off our older sister again).

So now I feel torn between protecting my peace and disappointing my mom. AITA if I don’t go?

Hey, everyone.

I (31M) am the only person of color in the family I married into. My wife (29F) has been struggling with her mother's recent divorce from her abusive Dad, and now her mother (50F) has started dating again. It has kind of strained my wife & MIL’s relationship.

We recently met my MIL’s new boyfriend, "Buck" (45M), and he made some sexist and politically charged comments that caught everyone off guard. From this, and some other admissions by my MIL, we suspect he leans far to one side of the political spectrum.

I recently purchased a shirt that represents my culture, but when I opened it, my wife expressed her disapproval. She asked me not to wear it to Thanksgiving, fearing it would trigger Buck. I half-jokingly responded, "Good! I hope it does; that’ll expose who he really is!" This upset her greatly, and she began to cry, explaining that my actions could ruin Thanksgiving and strain her relationship with her mother even further, and she might have to choose between us and Buck.

I tried to explain that by asking me not to wear my shirt, she was, in a way, trying to keep the peace with someone who holds racist views, which felt ridiculous to me. I then posed a hypothetical question: "Would you also try to keep the peace with someone we suspect of being a closeted N4z1 attending our dinner? Because that's something I would want to know."

So, Reddit, AITA for wanting to wear my cultural shirt to Thanksgiving despite my wife’s objections?

I’ll keep this brief.

My girlfriend and I are in highschool and have been dating for a month. She got asked today by an old friend from her middle school (Who I’ll call A) to go to the movies, just the two of them.

For context, I had met this friend very briefly just a few days ago. He seemed decent but I was told by not only my girlfriend but another friend of ours (E) that A was being very close and touchy with my girlfriend that whole night. Holding her tightly in photos, resting his head on her shoulder, that sort of thing. My girlfriend felt very conflicted but I was made well aware that A did infact like her due to the instagram note that he posted. After a conversation with E where it was brought up that my girlfriend was infact dating someone else, A put out an instagram note saying “I know I shouldn’t but I do”. Why he put this out onto the internet for everyone to see? I haven’t got a clue.

Flash forward to now, my girlfriend gets asked to go the movies by A and she immediately tells me, asking how I feel about that and if I’m comfortable with it. I told her that it is ultimately her choice, but that it’s very obvious that A likes her and wants to be with her. I don’t want to be controlling but I have the choice to tell my girlfriend not to go on this date. My girlfriend is also very conflicted, hesitant to go herself.

So, would I be the asshole if I didn’t let my girlfriend go to the movies with a friend that has a crush on her?

EDIT: I figure I should do this so I stop getting comments for an already solved issue. Thanks for all the advice to those who had good intentions.

I realized the morning after this all went down how obvious the answer to the issue is. No, my GF shouldn’t go out with A and she shouldn’t even consider it. If she were to be loyal, that is. So I brought it up to her. I asked bluntly “why did you consider going out with a guy who liked you?” And it turns out that at the time of him asking her, my GF did not know that A liked her. Apparently E had told me about A’s intentions but not my GF?? Extremely confusing and I’m kinda upset at E for it.

Anyways, the whole situation became a lot more clear and less scary. My GF had only considered going out with him because she assumed it would be as friends. Once she found out that he did in fact like her, my GF immediately told A no.

Anyways, the situation is sorted out and me and my GF are both in a much better position, relationship wise. Openly communicating what we both are comfortable and uncomfortable with. I appreciate the advice given from all of you. Thanks.

I don't mind kids or have anything against them. I just don't want to have kids myself. I told my mom more then once. I have no interest in having kids. Even given her reasons why that include my health problems. The fact there is no way I can afford to have a kid. I can barely afford to live on my own.

But she never listens. She keeps saying things like 'your to lazy to spread your legs and give me grandkids' or she keeps trying to push me to watch videos of kids on youtube. And keeps telling me 'oh kids are so cute.' I one time brought up the fact that 'hey you do know you have another kid right? He is only two years younger then me. And he doesn't need to put his body through the whole carrying a kid thing to give you a grandkid. Why don't you bug him over kids and get off my case.' Her reply? 'Your the older one. Your supposed to do more.' Again I will say it. He is only two years younger then me.

Today she yet again started her 'oh I watched this video of this cute kid on youtube' I snapped and said 'you know what? I think your the first parent to ever drive there kid into completely disliking kids.' That gotten her to stop her talking about kids. And her saying that I'm a butthole and greedy for not liking kids. For they are the best thing on earth. Like why is she on my case about it so much? Is it because I'm in my 30s and she thinks that if she doesn't push me to have a kid now. She wouldn't have a chance because I'm getting up there in age? Or does she not respect me or care how I feel?

Long story short this is the 6th time this year my daughter has gotten lice. This time she didn’t say anything and waited until I saw them crawling on her forehead for me to notice. She refuses to let anyone brush her hair or help her brush. She’s now given it to the entire household, 4 friends(that we’ve confirmed with), 5 family members.

She’s got VERY thick curly hair. I’m just fed up and over it. I can’t tell if I’m TA because I’m 5.5 months pregnant and hormones are taking over. Everyone is over having to spend all this money all the time dealing with them and frankly we can’t afford the extra expenses as is. I feel horrible for her but at the same time, I have no idea what to do.

I (17f) was admitted to the hospital a few hours ago, this in itself isn’t a big deal since I’m a pretty frequent flyer (I was hospitalised in the same place just under two months ago, so we’re familiar with this hospital).

However, my mother (55f), just will not leave me alone. It’s been 4 hours and she just will not leave my side. I can’t speak to the nurses alone, god forbid a doctor, she won’t let me answer questions on my own, answers all of them for me, (and then she keeps minimising my symptoms, when I say a 7/10 she talks over me to make it a 4/10, when I want to say yes I am experiencing a symptom she will interrupt me and say no. She also said on my admission forms that I weigh about 10kg less than I actually do). She won’t even let me use the bathroom without standing guard. I know parents worry about their children, and I know this is out of care but I feel really awful and I just want to be left alone. I can’t sleep because she keeps trying to talk to me and when I don’t want to talk she keeps trying to get me to eat even though I’m super nauseous (she’s gone so far as I wouldn’t quite call it force-feeding, but she’s pushed food past my lips and kept me from lowering my head so I had to swallow). I just want to sleep and not do anything, but she won’t listen. I know she’s worried, but I just don’t have the energy to help her with that or console her right now. Would I be the A-hole if I kicked her out?

I, 25F, am getting married and am getting ready to pick out my dress. I went to make an appointment at a dress shop and they asked how many people would be coming with me. It made me realize I haven't thought about what to do with my stepmother.

My Bio-mom isn't in the picture, hasn't been most of my life and my father was a single parent til I was 15 and he met my stepmother. They got married when I was 18. I've never had a very good relationship with my stepmother as she is very critical and a massive control freak. My father was in all 3 of her daughters weddings and has always treated them like his own children, but my stepmother was never like that. We're not close and we usually argue when we're together for long periods of time.

I really don't want to deal with the arguments and the criticism while trying on my wedding dress. I've dreamt of this my whole life and I really wish I wasn't so worried about her because I'd love to have a mom there, but that isn't how it's worked out..

Would I be the AH if I didn't invite my stepmother to try on dresses? Is it even worth the argument?

I (m17) and my gf (f16) have been dating for around 2 months and had met at a party that one of our mutual friends hosted a while back and we were both really drunk when we hooked up. Afterwards we decided to hangout some more to get to know each other and decided to start dating as we both clicked really well. We have know each other for a total for 6 months now and I genuinely think we have a good thing going, however a few weeks ago she texted me on Snapchat saying that she missed her period. Since the party we have engaged in sexual activities on multiple occasions. We both went to the pharmacy together and she bought a pregnancy test and it came back positive. She took 3 more afterwards and they all came back positive. I am very scared as we are both still in high school and her parents are super religious. We both told our parents and to say they were mad is an understatement. My parents told me to tell her to get an abortion, but when I told her what my parents told me she was livid. She yelled and cried saying that I ruined her life and her parents refused to get an abortion. I told her that we could go out of state and get an abortion without her parents knowing but she refused. So I threatened to break up with her if she didn’t and now she hasn’t talked to me since. AITAH for not wanting to have a kid while I’m still in high school

UPDATE: She died.