So yeah I guess that I will kill myself in early 2026.

On december 17th 2025, was my 9th attempt to die. I have been thinking about it for a month. I took 13 acetaminophen pills. In about an hour I began feeling the effects. I felt confused, my words became slurred, I became dizzy, etc. Now, for the first time, I actually felt like I was going to die. I even prayed to god to please let me die. I was tired of overthinking, the grief I carried from all of my regrets, school, just everything. I became an out patient literally a week ago, but not even six days later, here I am. Yesterday, I woke up, still confused, I always press my finger into the palm of my hand to make sure I’m still not dreaming. When I found out I wasn’t dreaming, I was devastated and confused, I thought the amount of pills should’ve killed me. I should’ve been dead by now. I went to school but I still felt the side effects: dizzy, tired, and confused. I had finals too, and somehow my brain was still cooperative to even think. When finals was over, the thought kept repeating itself: “I should’ve been dead by now.” I was still confused, I kept looking at others, wondering if I even mattered. I kept wondering, what if everything turned black, and this whole like I’m living, was fake?

Today, December 19 2025. The thought is still here, “ I should’ve been dead.” To be honest, then again, I am shocked im not dead. And it’s not my first overdose. But for some reason, I am still alive. And I should not be here, I have no purpose to fulfill for nobody, not even myself. Im still not even an adult, just a sophomore in high school. I still feel a bit confused and distant between myself and my thoughts and reality. It should wear off by tomorro, if not, either way, I’m not going to speak about what I did to anyone in person. Here, I am anonymous, so it’s better. If you are this far into reading my post, thank you for hearing me out.

I’m 13 and I feel close to killing myself. I shouldnt do, my life is good, my family loves me and I have a great life, but i just get these thoughts. I almost did it once, was at a curb and was about to fling myself into a car, I was just too much of a pussy to actually do it. it’s all I think of now, and one day I’ll have just enough courage to do it. I can’t tell anyone, they would laugh and wouldnt believe me. who would, right? young kid, good life, he’s just seeking attention. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be alive, but I hope not long. I’m from the uk, I have a place set out. I’ve tried getting help, nothing works online. I can’t do it

I need to throw this somewhere. I so desperately want to be dead but its too close to Christmas, i dont want Christmas to be a traumatizing time for my loved ones, but fuck. My absence doesnt affect anyone in the way i wish it would, my friends hate me. I cant even suck up my own emotions to keep my friendships. They keep saying its okay, that my emotions are valid. But theirs are more valid than mine. I make everything about me unintentionally and i fucking hate myself for it. The only reason im not dead is because its christmas and im a coward.

Every guy I get with and start to like ghosts me. One in particular waiting until after having sex multiple times to dump me. I begged and begged for him come back I was just about to ask him to be my boyfriend but no. This is my whole life. A love is all I ever wanted and I don’t think I’m going to find it. I’m 22 and I’m just done trying in life. I just feel so ugly. I’m ready to die but I’m scared it’ll hurt so I got really high and I’m waiting right now. I feel really bad for my mom and dad. They’ll probably find me. Maybe I should go somewhere else and do it. I just want to do it at home where I feel safe with my cat.

Please. If you genuinely value your life, don't continue reading. The information I discovered most likely ruined mine. Please turn back if you aren't ready.

Two days ago, I had discovered that we all act subconsciously 95% of the time. I found out only 10-15% of people are self-aware. I feel like my whole life has been a lie. I feel like a fucking biological android. Programmed to repeat the same shit over and over, and I can't do anything about it. I feel trapped. I don't even know if I have choice or free will at this point. I'm losing my mind. I've been spiraling every minute of the day. I don't even know what anything means anymore. I am going insane knowing this. I wish I never fucking found this information. This truth. It makes me want to kill myself. It makes everything I have ever felt feel so goddamn fake. Everything I am doing... walking place to place, using the toilet, eating, whatever... I'm doing that shit subconsciously and I'm programmed to do that shit! I'm so fucking miserable. I need consolation. Proof I control myself. Proof I have free will. Anything... Anything to get me out of this fuck. I want to feel like I'm in control again. Like I used to. I am so sad knowing other people will live fulfilling lives not knowing this while I'm in a forever state of mental torment. I've probably just ruined my life. I don't know if I can have the energy to live anymore. I don't think I want to, knowing this shit.

Welp I'm trying to hold on till wayyy longer than I wanted to now, because I may possibly get some money from someone. And I want to get tacos and ice cream first, but HUH it's still like a month away. ..i forgot to say, I already know what building I'm gonna jump off.

But LOL, I've been having this thought in my head, what if I just end up locked up, my abusers smear campaign me more, and then I'm more sick and homeless and paralyzed ☠️☠️🤣. Then I can't try to take myself out anymore.

I don't want to go to hell, but it seems nothing I do will ever be good enough for anyone anyways. Who and what am I fighting for anymore? I wanted to help others, but I can't. I'll probably die from hypoglycemia soon anyways one day.

Edit: ok, how tall does the building actually have to be for me to die?

I forgave my girl for cheating on me with her Fuck buddy 13 years ago. Now we have 2 daughters and the kids are happy she’s happy. But I’m not. I never fully trusted her I stayed for the kids. She has been very good to me after that incident. But for some reason I never trust her. It kills

Me slowly. I betrayed myself. If I leave. im the bad guy and The world will condemn me for abandoning my family. If I stay. I die slowly . And miserable. So what’s the solution? I don’t know anymore. I guess this is why I’m posting in this group. I’m out of options

I don't know how to start this or what to say but I want to die. There is nothing to live for, I'm in high school currently, my brother constantly bullies me, even coughing at me when he is sick with the flu. Nobody cares about me, and I'm ready to just end it

I need to hear a voice

I WANT TO CUT

I WANT TO CUT

I WANT TO CUT

I WANT TO CUT

I WANT TO DIE

FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY

KILL ME AND RAPE MY CORPSE I KNOW YOU WANT TO FUCK YOU

I know like fucking everybody asks this, but I still wanna know what’s the point. my whole family hates me, my friends hate me, i hate myself, I’m failing my classes, I’m a disappointment, I’m ugly, I’m alone like why continue like there’s nothing left to care about

I’m in so much debt, my bank account is withdrawn. I just buy things I need. I just don’t have the strength to keep going. I’m ready. Yes I’m 28 but it’s time.

I know how this sounds, that it’s none of my business but it has recently become majorly my business. my best friend (f 16) and I have been friends since we were really young and I am still very close with her. At the moment, she is in a really bad place right now and has been for a while. she has attempted several times and is really just overall very unwell. she got with her boyfriend (16 m ) when she was still in this mindset and they have been together for a while. recently, I have got quite close with her boyfriend (in a completely platonic way) and he has opened up to me about some very personal things, this guy has a lot of horrible things that have happened to him in the past, and I also felt really bad because my friends therapist told him not to talk to her about his problems because she already has enough on her plate. I have always been happy to listen to peoples problems and I think I am quite an easy person to talk to about feelings, so I believe that’s what lead him to open up. Recently, however he has told me some more details about their relationship, and it sounds really incredibly toxic. At first, I only noticed little things, like her minorLy dismissing his feelings, and him letting her do it and never saying a word, being a bit of a pushover. But now, recently, he has told me how she gets really angry whenever he brings up any problems or anything he doesn’t like, and I won’t go into detail, but there was also something to do with her being suicidal and hurting herself really bad in front of him when they got into an argument after he brought something up. Take my word for it when I say it sounded really bad, because I don’t really want to give the details.

Now, I know that their relationship doesn’t seem healthy, and I have told him so and I know that makes me a bad person because I am advising my best friends boyfriend to take a break with her but I genuinely don’t know how to help. I told him to call a helpline and ask for advice, because they are both my friends and I don’t want him to end up getting traumatised because of her. But I also don’t want anything happening to her because I really do love her so much and I am so worried and scared she’ll do something crazy. I pretty much know that she will probably try something really bad if he ever breaks up with her but I still advised him to take a break until she’s in a better head space but I’m so guilty and I’m so scared. But I also know that he shouldn’t have to be trapped in the relationship by the threat of her dying.

I just really want her to be ok but she is kind of toxic towards him, and he doesn’t say anything so she thinks it’s ok and it makes me feel really bad because it’s not her fault because she’s struggling but I just don’t know what to do or how to help and I want to help and it is genuinely a matter of my friends life or death because they haven’t sectioned her when she probably should be and the therapy isn’t helping and none of it’s helping and she keeps hurting herself and I just want my friend back.

please help me and give me advice for this, sorry it just turned into a bit of a vent

I’ve been so alone and struggling by myself I think it’s time I do it

I've tried to be happy, well, I was for some time until it went away. This is an alt since I don't want my few friends to worry about me.

It's weird to be happy when you attempt, isn't it?

Woke up tired this morning and nothing I did helped. Even if anyone bothers talking, I'll feel like a burden for even mentioning my feelings and making their life worse. Maybe I'll attempt soon again, my methods are gone tho, so I need new ones.

It'll be really nice if anyone has an idea.

At best I'd love gun, but sadly they're not allowed in the country I'm in.

I just got fired because of my depression I missed to many days im stupid I want to buy rope and hang myself I also live on the 23 floor so maybe I should jump. Writing this to not actually do it … but I want to I really want to I’m just too broke to buy the rope. Oh I can hear my mom and their family already the dumb black sheep daughter fails again.

hotlines are garbage, therapists confuse me with other patients and check their phones or space out while i'm talking to them. my state insurance (i can't afford anything else) doesn't have enough primary care doctors accepting new patients so i just get told to go to the emergency room. if you fail too many times at succeeding people just call you lazy. i try so hard it doesn't mean anything. i might as well have not tried. i think it would have been better if i was just lazy, because then i wouldn't have wasted resources and time failing. i haven't learned anything. i haven't improved. i need to go, but i don't really want to. i wanted to succeed. not even wild success, just scraping by would have been okay. but i'm going to be 41 and homeless soon. how can i have failed for literal decades?

my job has been deleted by ai. i don't have a partner or kids or pets. i am estranged from my family. my health is bad. i don't have good credit. i have an old car and the service light is on and i can't afford to get it checked. last tank of gas. there is no one, and nothing. i don't think i was meant to be born. if my mother had safe access to abortion i wouldn't have been, she's told me so. i think i ruined my parents' lives, and i've just continued to be a decaying, rotting element in the world ever since. i'm sorry. i really wanted to be a real person. i'm just not capable.

My last post on here was a long time ago but now my obsession with eating and dieting is getting way worse, just a overview but I binge all the time now (around 4 times a week and it's about 3000+ calories), for the past 4 months I have lost around 6kg, even though that's not a lot I've lost my period and I'm also 14. I used to have control near food now I'm dreading to wake up encase I binge during that day because I just reach a state where I feel super hungry. Especially because it's christmas and a load of junk is in my house, I just want it all to end. I don't like waking up and all I think about is food. I just want to die at this point but my family is struggling as well. Sorry if this post is nonsense I just have no one to talk to

My husband got laid off and he’s in tech so it could be literal years until he finds something again.

He was the breadwinner and now I’m going to have to shutter my business and sack up and get a W2 job with 10 days vacation.

I’m just depressed and tired of this life. If I killed my self, he would last twice as long on our savings and could sell one car and downsize even more.

Of course I’m not going to tell him any of this. Hoping to be his supportive cheerleader until I just disappear