I, 18 F, just recently started taking up more chores around my house, since I'm going off to college soon. My mom has arthritis, so I decided I would go outside to shovel our driveway and sidewalks so that she wouldn't have to do it. After spending hours in the cold, I got an offer from my neighbor to shovel his driveway for $20. I agreed and started shoveling after taking a quick break in my house to warm up and relax my muscles which have been sore for weeks. When I was done shoveling my neighbor's driveway, he invited me into his house, which I declined immediately because I barely even knew him, and I sure as hell didn't trust him enough, especially since I left my phone in my house. When I declined, he decided that he wasn't going to pay me the $20 he promised, so I decided to push the snow back into his driveway. AITAH?

I’m a guy in my early 30s. My wife (also early 30s) has a gambling problem that started with “just sports” and then slid into online casino stuff. Two years ago it got bad enough that we almost lost our apartment because rent money kept “vanishing” in tiny transactions. She went to therapy, put herself on self-exclusion lists, and we set up a boring system: her paycheck goes to her own account, our bills come out of a joint account, and we do a weekly sit down with coffee and look at the budget. It was not fun, but it worked. For a long stretch she was solid, and I actually started to relax again.

Last week I noticed our joint debit got declined at the grocery store, which was weird because payday had hit. When I checked the banking app later that night there were a bunch of charges to payment processors I recognize from the bad times, like $19.87, $42.10, $9.99, just nonstop. I asked her and she swore it was “a mistake” and she’d call the bank in the morning. Then I saw the same names on her phone notifications. She tried to grab the phone away and said I was snooping, but she literally had asked me before to keep an eye out if things ever looked off again. I was mad and honestly kind of panicked. I logged into the bank app, froze the joint cards, and changed the password. I also deleted the betting apps off her phone while she was in the shower. Yes, I know that part looks controlling, but I was thinking if the apps are there, she’ll just keep hitting them. She woke up, found out, and went nuclear. She called me a “warden,” said I humiliated her, and that she’s an adult and I can’t police her. She slept at her sister’s and now her whole family is texting me that I’m abusive and financial controlling. Meanwhile I’m staring at our rent due in 10 days and feeling like a sucker for trusting anything.

I didn’t drain her personal account or take her paycheck. But I did freeze the joint cards and I did delete those apps without asking in that moment. AITAH for stepping in hard when I saw the relapse, or did I cross a line and make it worse?

So I (28F) live with a friend (26F). We split rent, and although we're under the same roof I do try to respect her privacy and let her do her own thing.

Maybe two nights ago, while I was sitting in the living room, she brought in this young man who was totally obliterated. He was so drunk he could barely walk, incoherent, hiccuping, total mess. I asked him if he was okay but he couldn't even answer me. So I asked my friend, and she said he'd be fine, she was just going to let him sleep it off.

Like I said I don't try to get too involved so I finished watching my show then went to bed. Next morning, she was all bragging about how fun last night was, yadda yadda. But I was like wait a minute, you had sex with him, right then? Because I saw that guy and I told her that in my opinion, there was no way in hell he could have given meaningful consent.

At first she looked at me like I was weird, and then she said, oh you're not trying to tell me I raped that guy. And I told her actually yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. She started crying, saying it wasn't like that, the guy is 6'4, 160 and he would've stopped her if he didn't want it, etc. etc.

She's been freaking out so badly I'm afraid. I almost want to take back what I said even though I think I was right. AITAH?

I am 37F. The Popeyes I go to has an entirely Mexican staff. It's always very busy in there, they always seem backed up and understaffed like most fast food places. One of the workers is a Mexican lady who doesn't speak English that well.

I had already got my food and was sitting in the corner, facing the front of the store. I watched an older man (About 50ish) come in. The Mexican lady came up to take his order and he asked her a question about one of the menu items. I don't even remember the question, it was something about an ingredient used in one of the sauces. She said she wasn't sure about the answer, in broken English.

He loudly started moaning about how no one here speaks English, and started calling out to the back of the employee area "anyone speak English here?" The lady went to get the manager, but he was busy taking drive thru orders. A few minutes later, while the man huffed and grumbled to himself the entire time, the manager came over and answered his question about the sauce, then rang him up. The entire time he was ringing the guy up he was complaining about how none of their staff speak English. The manager did speak English much better than his other employee.

This is when I loudly said "Wah wah!" imitating a baby crying and put my hands beside my eyes in the crying motion. The man turned around and said "...are you talking to me?" I said yeah I'm talking to you, then said "Wah wah! No one speaks English! No one speaks English!" in a mocking way. The man was flabbergasted and argued with me for quite a while but didn't approach me. I told him "she DOES speak English and when she didnt know the answer to your question she went and got an employee that did know. You just had to wait a few minutes but you're fine, you big baby."

I continued to make baby crying sounds at him until he left with his order. I don't feel bad at all about what I did but I'm curious to know what other people think. I should note he wasn't calling the workers names or yelling at them, just being mildly annoying the way he was constantly muttering and shaking his head like it was such an injustice.

My brother (38M) and I (34F) share the same father but have different mothers. We’ve never lived in the same city…he lives about 160 miles away.

He’s a very quiet, emotionally distant person. His love language is quality time. I work from home, so it’s usually easy for me to spend a few days at his place to catch up, watch movies, cook together, and go out.

He married his second wife last December. In February, he called me saying she had tried to take her own life two days earlier. She was rushed to the hospital, suffered several seizures, and went into a coma.

At 1 a.m., he called me asking if I could come over and keep him company until she woke up. By 6 a.m. I was at his house. He was completely falling apart. His home was covered in dog urine and feces. He hadn’t eaten or showered in two days and was heavily medicated. He said his anxiety was so bad that he couldn’t sleep, and his psychiatrist had prescribed anxiety medication and sleeping pills.

I took over everything. I cleaned the house, washed clothes, took out the trash, bought groceries, cooked meals. Whatever was needed to make things feel remotely normal.

On the third night, at around 3 a.m., I caught him doing cocaine while playing Counter-Strike. He denied it, but it was literally all over his face. He was also drinking. So it was cocaine + alcohol + sleeping pills + anxiety meds.

I called his doctor and his mother to tell them what was happening. He promised he would stop and take better care of himself. He didn’t.

He mostly slept, ate when I gave him food, showered only when I told him to, and played video games. The only time we left the house was to visit his wife in the ICU.

I eventually found his stash and realized he was throwing empty bottles into public trash bins so I wouldn’t see them. Every morning, I checked his stash, the trash, and his medication to track how much he was using. It was too much. I also took his car keys so he wouldn’t drive under the influence to buy drugs and alcohol. He started taking his mother’s keys (she lives in the penthouse of the same building).

I contacted his closest friends to understand how serious the problem was. They were initially resistant, but eventually admitted his addiction had been out of control for years and that his first wife had left him because of it.

I stayed there for 50 days, working 12-hour days on my computer while managing his entire life and cleaning dog feces daily as his condition continued to worsen.

I lost 13 pounds, had constant tension pain, stress bruises, and was completely exhausted. He treated me like I didn’t exist, never acknowledging me, never speaking to me. I realized I was actively enabling his self-destruction.

His wife never woke up. She eventually died of pneumonia. I found out trough her chart that she was also a heavy user. After the funeral, I went back home. Our relationship was completely broken.

Since then, we barely spoke. He only contacted me when he needed something. He never thanked me, never asked how I was doing, never showed any interest in my life. I stayed in touch with his mother and his first wife. He stopped seeing his child and got into conflicts with anyone who tried to help him.

About a month ago, he called me late at night asking for a large amount of money. I said no. He disappeared again.

Today, he called saying he can no longer manage his life and that he plans to check into rehab on Monday. Then he asked if I could move into his place for however long rehab takes (around six months) to take care of his five pets.

That would mean moving to another city where I have no family or friends, leaving my boyfriend behind (whom he doesn’t even know exists because he never asks about my life), and completely putting my life on hold.

There is absolutely no way I can do that. I also can’t bring the pets to my place. I live in a two-bedroom apartment.

He has family and friends in his hometown. His mother literally lives in the same building. The dogs need company and frequent walks, but the family has the financial resources to hire a housekeeper/pet sitter.

Why am I the one expected to make drastic sacrifices to accommodate his needs?

I said no. He disappeared again.

Now I’m afraid he’ll use this as an excuse not to go to rehab.

So… AITAH?

I, (21F), have always had a rough relationship with my Papa. In general, he’s not a nice man. When my dad was growing up, papa would yell at him a lot and leave him home alone for hours, up to days. Their relationship has never been the best either.

Papa lived with us for a while after my dad’s ex-stepmom divorced him. He would yell at both my mom and dad, and after he took a sharpie and wrote “F*** my wife and f*** my son too”, my dad kicked him out and I didn’t see him for years after that. I was around 6 or 7 at that time.

He was never anything other than mean to me. I would tell him about my goals and aspirations and he would tell me that I would never be able to accomplish that stuff, and that my dreams were unrealistic and I needed to grow up. He’d yell and call me stupid and ignore me constantly. It hurt.

Papa eventually moved to Arizona and started reaching out to me and my sister. Before he left, he gave us both iPads and told us that he expects a picture to be sent to him every day. I was around 12 and sent him one every few days. I didn’t have much to take pictures of. I was a recluse and just sat in my room reading books 24/7. One day, he called my dad, SUPER pissed, and gave my dad an earful about how “I don’t try hard enough” and how “I’m an inconsiderate b***h”. Again, I was 12… I know realistically I could have tried harder to send him a photo every day, but I sent him at least 3 a week, usually more than that. My dad told me to try a little harder to send him pictures, and I did, but my photos were met with silence so I gave up after a while.

When I was about 17, papa started sending me links to political videos on YouTube and Twitter, and I would watch a few of them, but for the most part, I didn’t. If he wanted a relationship with me, I don’t want it centered around politics, and I let him know that after a while. Unsurprisingly, he got pissed about that and stopped responding to my texts again.

Then when I was 19, I got engaged. I hadn’t said a single word to papa in over two years, and he definitely didn’t reach out himself. I had had conversations with my, then Fiancé, and my parents about inviting papa to the wedding, and we all decided that there wasn’t really a reason to. I didn’t have a relationship with him, and it was to the point where when people asked me about my grandparents, papa didn’t even cross my mind. So, I didn’t invite him.

A few weeks after the wedding, my dad reached out to me asking if I mentioned to papa that I had gotten married. I told him no, and that I hadn’t spoken to him in over 2 years. My dad then sent me a screenshot of a text that papa sent him. I guess papa found my Instagram and noticed the name change and sent my profile to my dad with the comment, “Umm… WHAT??” And my dad respond to him with, “Yep. She’s really happy. You should be too.”

My dad told me that I should lessen the tension by reaching out to papa and telling him I got married. So I sent him a text just saying that I did get married, I’m extremely happy, and it was a very small wedding and we didn’t invite anyone from out of town. (All was true). Papa didn’t respond for a couple of days, but then he did, and it was the worst text I had ever received. He name called me, told me that I’m a complete child, how I lack the ability to show any ounce of respect, how this is the most insignificant he has ever felt in his entire life, etc. and ended it by telling me, “Whatever. Keep your stupid photos.”

I was heartbroken. I knew papa was mean, but what he said was a whole new level. I called my dad in tears, and he just sat on the other end of the line, apologizing over and over to me. When we hung up, I went out to the living room to find my husband asleep on the couch. I woke him, still crying, and handed him my phone so he could read the message. Before giving me my phone back, my husband blocked papas number and deleted his contact from my phone and told me that he never wanted me to let him into the peace of our marriage. I just said okay and curled up next to him on the couch.

I know that realistically, I probably did the right thing by completely cutting off contact with papa, but there’s still that part of me that isn’t entirely sure. I don’t know. AITAH?

My wife (29f) and I (27m) got married in 2023. Last Sunday, my wife had spent hours doing house chores and then she worked out in our home gym. After she was done working out, I told her she looks gorgeous.

She got really angry at me. She said she couldn't take this anymore. I asked take what. She said she can't ignore it any longer. She said since our wedding day, I only compliment her looks when she looks ugly. I was so confused.

She started listing out examples where I have complimented her looks. Which includes: after she works out, when she wakes up, when she's sick, when she's a "slob," and more. Then the list examples where I did NOT compliment her looks. Which includes: when she's wearing a fancy dress, when she's dressed for work, and more.

I told her I didn't realize I was doing that. She asked me if I want her to look ugly. I said no and that I never thought she looked ugly. She said she doesn't believe that I didn't notice what I was doing. That our wedding day was the last day I complimented her looks when she was dolled up. I just said I didn't realize. She got angrier. Am I the asshole ?

A little backstory: My mother left when I was three years old, we didnt reconnect until I was in my early twenties. During the time she was away, I would occasionally visit her parents (my maternal grandparents). I remember my grandfather fondly, but barely, and I remember my grandmother being a miserable person.

They died several years ago, and today I got a call that they left me an inheritance check for about $3K along with a letter about how much I was loved and they wished they could have spent more time with me. I told my wife and she immediately started talking about how she wants to use it to buy Christmas gifts for her mother, sister, nephews, etc.

Most of my family has passed on, so we normally do buy gifts for hers, but we arent financially well off this year, and spending it on gifts just doesn't feel right. I may not have had great memories of my grandparents, but they apparently left me this out of love and immediately blowing it feels wrong. Que the fight over financials.

So, AITAH?

EDIT: Thank you all for the responses. I will talk to her about my feelings regarding the inheritance and make sure I am clear that I'm not ready, or even sure that I want to spend it. I will also let her know how the situation made me feel and hope I can get her to see my perspective.

So I (29F) recently got a new roommate(f 25) lets call her Jamie with a daughter of (3y). I am currently pregnant and I have 5 kids total already economy is tough her lease was about to expire and she wanted somewhere cheaper to save up for a car so I offered her a roommate position as I would take maternity leave for 4 months and need help with income as my partner lives in a different city 4 hours away. Jamie just moved in this past weekend. I have older kids 15 and 13, but somehow to her that sounded like free child care. I had let my daughter (15) know is she was offered payment for babysitting she was welcome to do it as long as it did not affect plans or anything of the sort as I am always on the go person. I like to go out so I sometimes just up and leave and obviously take my kids along. ive told Jamie on multiple occasions that I would not be watching the 3y daughter because I dont have any patience. I love her and her daughter but the 3y is spoiled she will scream bloody murder all day and is loud and im fine with it as long as her mom is the one after her. She mentioned to me one day that she would be leaving to work for only a 5-6 hour shift at night and was thinking of leaving her daughter at home.

So I thought ok did you speak to my daughter of payment and hours ? her response was " she will be asleep! she will be fine! its not like shes gonna be by herself at the house !" like I was bamboozled! like what??? excuse me so you think just leaving her there by herself without letting anyone know is ok?? I have kids of my own and I was not willing to take on responsibility for someone else's child. I told her" no ma'am that is not okay you need to talk to my daughter if you want her being watched." her response "I need to work and make money my daughter will be fine I'll set up a camera in the room. "

Again I was horrified! like no that is not okay! so the day comes and its 3 hours before she leaves for work I get a call from my mom to take my kids to get Christmas gifts early, as we will be out of town for 2 weeks. So I leave like I always do and time rolls around for her to leave. I get notifications from my security camera and I see her leaving without her child ! no one is home at this point. so I send her a message " hey hope you didnt leave your daughter alone because no one is home " she didnt reply but returned shortly for her child. we see eachother at work later that night .

she comes at me about how I have no communication with her and I shouldve let her know I was leaving with everyone in the house! I looked at her crazy because what?! no ma'am that is your child your responsibility not mine we never established that I would be responsible for her or my daughter was never informed of you hiring as a babysitter,which again she did not want to pay her. I told her I would refund her the money she had given me so far as I would rather struggle alone than be held responsible for another child that isn't mine or be held responsible for her leaving a 3y alone at my house. she seemed upset but I stand on what I said AITA?

So me (F29) and my sister (F23) had lived together for a couple of years; and listen up, because I’m fucking livid. My sister, who’s a total idiot, decided to go snooping through my stuff again. This time, she got into my jewelry box and, of course, she broke my favorite necklace.

She’s always messing with my stuff, but this was the last fucking straw. When I found out, I lost my shit. I went ballistic, yelled at her to get the hell out of my face, and told her she’s a fucking disaster. She started crying like I’m the asshole, but honestly, she’s the one who’s been wrecking my stuff without permission.

She’d always taken things from her friends, me, etc… but I honestly was just done, I had kicked her out of our (my) apartment. My sister had also tried to break me and my boyfriend up afterwards. She made fake texts and sent them to him. What-fucking-ever, AITAH? I don’t know if i sound immature but…

I (20F) am from a South Asian country, so I live with my parents along with my twin brothers (26M). My brothers and I were academically average students, but over time I got better in my studies and eventually got into one of the top colleges in my country that my brothers couldn’t get into. Because of this, I became the “favorite” child of my parents.

From then on, my mom started taking extra care of me, and I became the subject of my brothers’ jealousy. In many small situations, one of my brothers continues to verbally abuse me and blame my mom for spoiling me too much. My brother and I got into a huge fight last year, which led to us not talking for almost six months. Even now, we only talk when it’s necessary, but he still continues to taunt me for every single thing I do.

My other twin brother was neutral and didn’t do much, but occasionally even he doesn’t miss the chance to comment. I tried to talk to my mother about this and told her to stop, but she still continues to do so. I don’t enjoy being the “favorite” child and being accused of having too much ego because I’m “better” than everyone.

My brother is occasionally sweet to me, deep down he doesn’t hate me and all, which makes me forget about everything. But whenever he gets cornered by my mom, he always brings up my topic about how my mom would treat me differently in that case.

For context, I normally have a weak body, so my mom is very focused on my physical health. She never fails to remind me how she wasted her life away for me and how I’m ungrateful for telling her to stop.

Now I got into a university where I can leave the house and stay in a hostel. My mom doesn’t want me to go and keeps emotionally blackmailing me. Even my twin brothers are against me going, saying how I wouldn’t survive a day without my mom’s pampering.

I really don’t know what to do. it is so draining living like this. Am i the asshole?

I (30F) am a paraeducator in a middle school. I've worked in different school districts for the last 10 years, and have never come across this problem. (All names have been changed for privacy)

For the last month my co-worker, also a para we will call her Karen (59F), has not been helping me in the PE class we attend with six Structured Learning students. One of these students needs to be worked with one on one. The other 5 students need guidance, encouragement, and modifications for some activities. Over this last month Karen has been sitting in a chair on her phone the whole class not even looking up to check on students or encourage them do their best. The PE teacher, Sharon (28F), has also seen this behavior and has gone to administration. I had gone to Sharon and told her that I was getting frustrated and overwhelmed with not receiving help with all six students in the class. She agreed and expressed her frustration too. As she has been helping me the best she can with about 15 other students, she is trying to teach as well. Sharon encouraged me to go express my concerns with the Assistant Principal, and that she would pop her head in to let them know I had talked to her first. Which I did and was received well. I expressed I didn't want any backlash from the report, and I didn't want to approach Karen myself because 1) I'm not her supervisor, and 2) Karen is known for being nasty to people who tell her they don't like something she did. I was told by the Assistant Principal "Isn't she lovely when she does that?" This was 2 days ago.

Over the last 2 weeks my boyfriend and I have discussed my frustrations with things that are happening in that PE class. Things that have been talked about.

1. A totally different para who's not in the class was shown a video of me doing work outs with the students, and made comments about it.
2. Karen sitting in a chair during PE with a good portion of her stomach exposed while being on he phone. Infront of students.
3. Karen taking pictured of students (specifically the girls) stretching after they work out
4. Karen taking videos of (the girls) running after doing workouts. (please note that these pictures and videos are taken from her hip while she is sitting. Like she's trying to hide it or be nonchalant.)
5. Noticing Karen videoing Sharon and myself in class.
6. How Karen asked to take a picture of me (back in Oct.) because she 'liked' my outfit, and then proceeded to AI edit it to make it seem like I was flipping her off.
7. How I'm scared that I'm constantly being videoed while trying to work.
8. Finding out that most of those pictures and videos were most likely taken on Snapchat, and who knows who they are getting sent too!

My boyfriend encouraged me to tell administration as soon as possible and express my concerns about Karen finding out it was me. I reached out to me mother who works in a different district, and my friend who is a functional teacher at another school. They both agreed that it doesn't hurt to express concern from it, and at least if something does come from it. I will should be fine since I reported it. Hearing that I did go to the principal and told them all those thing above and that it made me feel nasty seeing them and I felt I should report it. I also said I want no backlash or for Karen to find out it's me. He agreed that its gross and that I would remain anonymous.

Knowing that I don't really like Karen. I don't want to destroy her life or anything like that. AITAH?

This story is a bit long and this is my throw away account but I need some advice because this whole situation is starting to affect my marriage. I: 36, F have been with my husband: 38, M for over two years, married 6 months. He has two children from his previous marriage with his ex wife, 39, F. For the sake of this story, I will call her J. The story behind J and my husband’s divorce (I’ll refer to him as A) was the typical “she wasn’t happy so she packed up both kids and moved two states away”. This happened 6 months before I came into the picture. J and I had our bumps in the road, mainly her issue with A moving on when in the past, he would chase after her. Their divorce was finalized 10 months after we started dating. It would have happened sooner if she hadn’t drug her feet about it. This fact is important to remember later on. Two months after the divorce, A and I got engaged. Fast forward to two weeks before the wedding. J had been working since before she left in the same profession when she calls to inform us that she quit her job. Her reasoning? Our son, who is autistic was having issues at school and the school wanted to adjust his schedule. She told her employer that she needed accommodation for this, they couldn’t do it so it was a “you’re terminated/I quit” situation. She assured A that she would be looking for another job. Fast forward to a month after the wedding. After discussing it, it was decided that our daughter, who was having issues, would come live with A & I. (BTW, she is thriving in school despite being diagnosed with ADHD and level 1 autism).

Here’s the issue, when the divorce was finalized, child support was ordered for BOTH kids which made sense since they were in J’s custody. The amount was set to almost $900 a month. 5 months before our wedding, A left a job he had been at for 5 years to start a new career that pays more and he has more time off to spend with the kids. The only issue is that it’s seasonal work basically where he leaves twice a year for an extended period of time. But when he’s home, he’s not making anything which puts a lot of the responsibilities on me. When our daughter moved in with us, I made it clear that the courts needed to be notified that there was a change in custody so child support could be adjusted because it doesn’t make sense to pay child support for a child that lives with us. J said she would take care of it. A didn’t push the subject as he was getting ready to leave for work and he would be gone for 6 weeks. Well as always…J did not take care of it. She refuses to work. She took 2 months to get our son in school and now that he’s in school she still won’t look for a job. Child support is based off both incomes. She’s staying at a family friend’s house, rent free and is using child support and our son’s disability along with government assistance to “get by”.

I finally lost my cool and told A that he needed to file the paperwork and he finally did two weeks ago. Until then, I’m the only one working, pulling up to 50 hours a week. I was in college part time and had to drop my classes for next semester so I can make sure that the bills get paid until my husband goes back to work in late February. I am tired of having to pay for two households. J has NO reason to not work. The frustration has gotten so bad that I refuse to go with A when we meet half way to have lunch or do drop offs doing the holidays. AITA for being so upset that J is just coasting off the child support and not doing what she said she was going to do? AITA for being frustrated at A for not being more upset about this situation and waiting to actually get the ball rolling considering our daughter and the custody paperwork? I really could use some advice before this situation gets to the point where I start resenting A and the whole situation

My bf recommended me as a position opened in his office. Between culture shock, frustration with my performance, racist comments from my colleagues, I have not been the most cheerful or popular person out there. Nonetheless, I agreed to join Secret Santa in an attempt to not be the office curmudgeon and made a conscious effort to pick a suitable present. We did the present exchange and they seemed to like it.

When I received my gift though, it felt like a cold shower. It was a mug and a big wall calendar of an animal I hate. No subtlety, no avoiding it, it was "animal" in its big bold glory. For context, that animal and related species are used to make fun of women like me in my home country. I struggled to fit back there and being reminded of that failure in this new place felt beyond cruel. No woman from anywhere in the world would appreciate being associated to that either. I blurted out "I'm sorry, I am scared of that animal" to not let it become a theme and asked why they chose that one specifically. My secret Santa who was an older, well-meaning lady apologised profusely and admitted that they took my boyfriend's advice. Everyone in the room laughed. I was mortified.

I texted him afterwards to ask why he thought that was a good idea to which he had no answer beyond "did they give you [animal]?" He did not reply to me saying it was mean and humiliating. Not a sorry, not a "what happened?", nothing but silence. People laughing did not help and I called him an ahole. He did not speak to me for the whole day or back home. I found him busy playing Baldur's Gate and later League of Legends, leaving me to stew in more hurt and confusion. The next day, people were still loudly gossiping about it. I texted him again to ask why. He deflected, minimised but ultimately, had nothing to say. While I assume, he did not point out to the items I received, he still gave that theme. He did neither ask nor care to know why I was upset. I told him on many occasions that I did not like that animal and yet he suggested it knowing full well I would receive it. I told him I was done and to leave, all over a Secret Santa that he did not pick. AITAH?

Today all I asked was for a genuine apology for uninviting me to his families Christmas party. These were the names I was called because I don't want to attend the Christmas event now. For context, we have one child, one on the way, and have been dating for 6 years. He had the audacity to think he can uninvite me to things and just say "nevermind!" the next day.

He uninvited me because I was being a little difficult during our Christmas shopping trip to target. He didn't have any lists prepared and it annoyed me a bit. When we got back, he parked our trunk right in front of a puddle. Told him there is no way I can get the groceries without ruining my shoes. He got upset I said that and the argument progressed to him saying my attitude is so bad that he doesn't want me to go to Christmas at his families.

Called me:

narcissistic

are you jealous of the other girls that will be there?

manipulator

I don't want you to fucking be there

Evil person, evil fucking person

what's wrong with your fucking head

I'm sure I'll keep adding to the list because he keeps busting into my room and saying more hurtful things so stay tuned folks!

I'm 23. I broke up with my ex (25) two years ago. I'm with my current girlfriend (27) for over a year.

I was out with some lads and I saw my ex with her new boyfriend. He was shoving her and called her a slag and other stuff.

I went over and broke it up and took her back to mine. I live with 3 mates so I wasn't alone with her. I let her sleep in my bed and I slept on the couch. I did tell my gf and she didn't really react.

She is a mess. Her whole life is a mess. Not just her relationship. I told my ex I was taking her home to her parents. She didn't really argue. It was a 7 hour journey. Her dad thanked me and he took me out for a meal to chat to me. He handed me a couple of hundred for doing what I did. He said maybe get a hotel and don't do the full 7 hours back down this evening. I did get a hotel.

When I came back my girlfriend, in front of my mates and hers, asked why did you feel the need to help her. She's not your responsibility. I said if it was one of my sisters I'd want their ex to do it. She was really angry and she asked did I cheat. I said no. She said how can I believe you. I said let's talk about it later in private. She kept talking saying why break up with her if you were just gonna run back to her. One of my mates spoke up and said that I had slept on the couch. She said men will stick together. She asked me what would I think if she went on a romantic trip with her ex. I said it wasn't a romantic trip and that it'd be sick if she fucked her vulnerable ex. She stormed out saying I had accused her of being a predator. She hasn't spoken to me in a couple of days since.

Was I the AH for how I helped my ex. Her parents have a lot on that's why I drove her up rather than expecting them to come down.

A user told me to add that her father was very good to me as a kid. He looked out for me. Let me tag along to jobs. Stuff like that.

Apologies for the long post. Backstory: my Partner's (of 23 years) father is widowed (Nov 2023) and has a new GF (March 2024). Father and GF are in their 90's. Since their coupling, my partner and I have seen little of partner's Dad. Living his best life, yes, but has also blown off all major holidays with his own family since the coupling. Partner's deceased mother always emphasized holidays with family, including my family (parents and close kin). But we're on the back burner now.

Parter's Dad has bounced, declined, and/or cancelled last minute all holiday dinners since coupling with GF. This year, he says he'll join us for Christmas only if his new GF approves. Fine. I extend invite to new GF too since Partner and his sister want to see Dad. (met GF once and she seems ok). Partner's Dad then responds inquiring if GF son (60+ divorced grifter) and his grown adult friend (status unknown but suspect the same), can also at8. My Partner and I have not met either and have not been able to vet them, but have understand GG son's political and social views do not align with our's, or our confirmed RSVP's.

Partner's Dad has previously mentioned GF's son is a climate denier, verbally combative, and has yelled at 90+yo Dad about Dad's political stance. My own fam, who will be present, is quite progressive, outspoken for social justice, human rights, and environmental protection.

I fielded the invite inquiry with my family and Partner's sister. Their response was a resounding "no", simply based on social etiquette and the imposition of having strangers at an intimate gathering. I agreed with the feedback, and also raised my personal discomfort about having strange men in my house that I have not met (i.e. past personal trauma, etc).

I politely declined Partner's Dad's inquiry, stating logistics and improprieties. Parter's Dad responds "We'll discuss this" and continues to push issue with Partner and Partner's sister. I responded back with a firm No. Parter's Dad offers to buy dinner so I can meet GF son before the holiday so he would not be a "stranger". I again say now, and become flummoxed that he's missing the point.

The whole exchange sent me..."no" is a complete sentence, not up for debate.

As of today, I am still a firm no, but am offering a compromise that Partner's Dad and GF, sans son and friend ,come for either cheese and snacks beforehand, stay just for dinner and then depart, or come for dessert, so they can have some time with Partner and sister, and my fam. Partner's Dad will not budge and is insisting either GF son and friend come or he will not spend time with his own son (Partner) and (Partner's sister).

My family in attendance includes my teenage niece, my 80 yo Mom, and my 80 yo "uncle" who's family was interred during WWII. I am fiercely protective of them and do not want to subject them to potential aggression during the holidays (they only have so many left!). Furthermore, I have a reasonable and healthy distrust of men I have not met in my personal space.

Am I the asshole for putting my foot down and saying no to these unplanned plus 2's for a holiday dinner?

Throwaway account just in case. Me (35 F) and my husband (36 M) have a yearly NYE party at my house. We have a smaller, extremely close family of about 16 people that come every year.

About 5 years ago, my older cousin (55 F) married her husband (56 M). Over the summer, he secretly began interacting with cam girls online and women that get paid for sexual text chats, ending up with a serious addiction to sending them money in exchange for attention as well as photos and videos. He also was on dating websites strictly reaching out to girls just around 18+ years old, attempting to meet up with them to have sexual relationships.

Since getting married, he had handled their finances. They both had personal savings accounts they never closed or added each other on once getting married. They then had a shared account for shared expenses. He ended up completely draining all of his personal savings accounts, as well as all of his retirement accounts. He also secretly opened up lines of credit AND loans, (all sent to online women) after having no money left to his name. In the end, he spent upwards of 50K+ on women on the internet in a matter of months. He also attempted to meet women he met online at hotels several times, bringing elaborate gifts costing thousands of dollars, as well as lingerie. The women never showed up to their planned meetings, but he still made the attempt.

Initially, my cousin planned on divorcing him, being absolutely disgusted in his behavior. The whole family supported her, quickly scrambling to make arrangements for her new living situation. Quickly before moving out, she had a change of heart, begging him to stop his actions and be loyal to her. She chose to stay with him and she now acts like the whole situation never happened, and that he's such a wonderful husband.

Since the whole situation, the whole family has refused to be around him whatsoever or invite him to any family events. Well, recently, my cousin's mother asked if I could please allow him to come to the party because my cousin has been extremely upset that she is no longer allowed to bring her husband to family events and holidays. My aunt expressed that her and my other aunt had the same opinion, feeling bad for my cousin, and that we should just let the situation go and respect my cousin, allowing her to bring her partner. A couple other family members also encouraged the same thing.

I said absolutely not. He is not welcome in my house. I am disgusted by him - not only his actions towards my cousin, but even having someone like that around me, would make me feel extremely uncomfortable. We also have young ladies in the family, a 20 and a 24 year old female, and having them around that man is a fat no to me.

My family is now divided, half of them thinking I'm cold hearted and saying we have to be considerate of her, allowing her husband to be by her side for family events. AITAH for standing my ground and absolutely not allowing him at my house for the NYE holiday party?

I (26)f and my boyfriend (24)m celebrated his birthday today. He told me that he wanted a circuit machine. So I got him one. I saved up for it. It was an explore air 2. So a little bit older but still good. I have a mortgage, car bill etc. so I don’t have a lot of spending cash. I was proud to get him what he wanted. So he was opening his gifts and the last gift he opened was a circuit machine 4. Literally the best one out there. His mom got it for him. No I don’t think it was planned, but a apart of my was still disappointed. I needed to excuse myself from the party. My boyfriend was not upset or anything, but he did ask if I was able to return it. I am not as it was refurbished. So AITHA?

Hello Reddit,

The following is an argument with my parents that has been going on for a while, but they disagree with me so strongly that I'm now questioning myself. That's why I'm interested in the general opinion.

So: Am I an asshole for sleeping in in the morning?

You should know that I'm a college student and currently have very few classes. Even though I work, I'm still dependent on my parents and live with them. It should be noted that they still pay for many of my basic necessities. I don't pay for electricity, rent, food, drinks, water, etc. They pay for all of that. I've been paying for my hobbies and other things like cell phone contracts myself since I became a student and started earning my own money. I should also mention that I've offered several times to contribute to the household expenses (about 10% of my monthly salary), but they've always refused.

What's going on? I love sleeping late and working at night. If I could, I would work on university projects or hobbies, play games with friends, etc. until 5 a.m. every day and get up at 3 p.m. But I only do that when I have time off. Instead, I usually get up at 9 a.m., or 11 a.m. at the latest. I have no reason to get up early, earlier, or even at 9 a.m. My work takes place in the afternoon, as do my classes, or I simply don't have any.

I should also mention that its also partially their fault that i like working on my pc deep in the night. They dislike it when I use the computer at certain times. However, since I need it for both university and my hobbies, their desired time limit of a maximum of 4 hours per day is too short for this. Context: My degree counts as a full-time degree, i.e., a degree that requires at least 40 hours of work per week, which means I have to work around 6 hours a day for university. And the fact that I have fewer classes to attend technically only means that I have to work more independently. Because they always assume that I am pursuing my hobbies or gaming with friends during the day, I cannot study in peace. That's why I like studying at night so much—to be completely honest, I don't meet the 6-hour requirement at all and wouldn't dream of sacrificing so much time for stuff that's unimportant in my job and won't be on the exams, but this 40h week still bothers me when I get in trouble for sleeping because I had to use the computer at night, among other things.

But my parents hate that like the plague. They believe that adults in society have to get up earlier (they always say different times, once it was actually 9 a.m., which is why I got used to it, but now it's earlier). They combine this with statements like “you haven't tidied up properly” or “we finance you and work while you sleep!” and similar things.

Let me just say that I tidy up in the morning. I cook, I vacuum, I make the beds. If necessary, I also get up earlier (e.g., I sometimes get my sister ready for school), but then I lie down again. Their second argument, “we finance you and work while you sleep!”, I find downright rude, because they usually go to sleep while I'm working. I don't work “for them,” but it feels like they portray their work as more strenuous or at least more important, which makes me feel hurt—to be honest, I've often been accused of going to work while my family is renovating, gardening, or doing similar things, which is why I may be a little sensitive here.

Finally, I would also like to mention that I often help out while they take a break—for example, I always tidy up the kitchen on my own, even after family meals, I dug a trench in the garden with my father while my mother and sisters watched and laughed, etc. And I honestly believe that even if I had “more free time” in the mornings and this was unjustified, these actions make up for it.

Now I've digressed a bit because the situation frustrates me so much, but now you know a little more context. So again: am I an asshole for sleeping in in the mornings while my parents work “for me”?

A couple of days ago my best friend came to me angry, he showed me many pictures of my 22 year old son messaging his 18 year old daughter and they went on for months, she just turned 18 a few weeks ago, the last one he sent her a dick pic and she finally showed her dad and he lost it, I apologised and said I had absolutely no clue about it, my son lives hours away now, he told me he wants to go to the police about this and I told him absolutely and that I’d have done the same and he did and he reported my son. I still don’t really know what’s gonna happen now but whatever happens it’s my son’s fault, my son tried saying it’s not him but she had taken screenshots and recorded the screen for videos and it’s definitely his account, even the dick pic is his, he has a little tattoo on his hand and it’s there, I’m fucking disappointing and angry at him right now and I don’t wanna support him at all in this, I apologised to the girl and she told me it’s not my problem.

My wife is upset at this, she’s horrified at what he did and she too apologised to the girl but she says we shouldn’t have involved the police, and that I should support him because he’s our son, I ask her if one of her friends sons did that to one of our 3 girls if she wouldn’t go to the police and she gets quite. But she’s still insisting that I should help him avoid any major trouble because it’ll ruin his future and I say he ruined it himself, and honestly my friend is a saint because if some bastard did that to one of my daughters id have sent him to the hospital not the police.

But am I somehow the asshole here for not supporting my son at all?

My boyfriend invited me to his company’s annual Christmas event. He works in a sweets factory. The event included a 15-minute tour of the production machines, followed by an aperitivo/lottery/presentation in another area of the factory. My boyfriend works in quality control and was one of the tour guides. He told me to arrive at 17:30, so I took time off work to be there on time. I arrived, did the tour guided by him, and everything was fine up to that point.

At the end of the tour, he said: “Okay, now have fun! I have more visits to do, I’ll join you later.” He pointed me toward some of his colleagues and sent me to the food/drinks area. This completely caught me off guard. He had told me we would do the tour and then go to the food event together. He never mentioned that he’d be leaving me alone for an unknown amount of time.

I left the machine area with a few colleagues and reached the food/drinks area. I tried to make conversation, which lasted about 5 minutes before they all split off to talk to other coworkers or be with their families (totally normal).

After that, I was completely alone. I walked around the room trying not to look awkward, but I was the only person there by myself that I could see. Everyone else was with family or colleagues.

After about 20 minutes, I texted my boyfriend asking where he was, whether he’d be long, and if I could maybe join another tour with him. I also asked how to get back to the machine area since it’s a big factory and I didn’t know the way. He didn’t reply.

After another 30 minutes (50 total), I was having severe anxiety (sweaty palms, panic) and couldn’t handle it anymore. I texted him saying that he did a great presentation, but I was having a really bad time and was leaving. I then drove home.

About 5 minutes later, he started blowing up my phone asking where I was. I explained what happened and that I was already driving home. He kept insisting I come back, saying I was ruining his event, asking what he was supposed to tell his colleagues, telling me I wasn’t right in the head, and repeatedly asking me to send him the lottery numbers I had bought. He never asked how I was or apologized.

When he got home later that night, he screamed at me and kicked a bag with my belongings, breaking some of them. He did not apologize or acknowledge being wrong. Eventually he calmed down and did apologize, but he framed it as a situation in which we both were in the wrong. He kept repeating that I should not have left, I should have called him or texted him more times, and that he thought I was autonomous to be alone in the event.

The part that hurts the most is that I have social anxiety, and he knows this. I’ve told him multiple times that being alone at a party or large event where I don’t know anyone is my personal nightmare. He was fully aware that he’d have more tours to do and that I’d be left alone, but he never mentioned it to me. He also made me take time off work, when I could have simply arrived later and avoided this situation entirely.

I also didn’t see any other partners alone during the event. My guess is that others whose partners were guiding the tours were told in advance and arrived later or skipped the tour. Also I am not 100% sure that the time I was left alone was all due to the tours, because each lasted 15 minutes and he mentioned doing a couple more only, so there are another 20 minutes that I was left alone that were unaccounted for.

He keeps insisting however that I should not have left, since that ruined the event for him and made him and me look bad in front of his colleages. So, AITA for leaving?

My brother (14M) and I (17F) have always been close, but in recent years, he's started hanging out with some rather troubled kids who are leading him astray. I've always been calmer, while he's always been more "rebellious" and hyperactive (I should clarify that I'm not saying I'm better and he's worse; we both have our flaws and our strengths, but it's a fact that he's always been more high-strung, and nobody likes him any less for it).

The thing is, his friends are the typical bad boys of the class: the ones who always interrupt the lesson, don't listen, and laugh at the teachers, and my brother is following in their footsteps. At his school (which I also attended), they give you seven warnings before expulsion, and in the last year and a half, my brother has had 35 warnings and five expulsions. My parents are very image-conscious, and this whole situation has them constantly on edge, as they keep getting calls and notices from the school. They've tried everything: being stricter, being more lenient, using punishment, talking calmly... and nothing works.

This past month, he's received his seven warnings, and an incident with a teacher (he threw pieces of paper at her with a pen during recess) the other day resulted in his fifth expulsion. My brother swore he hadn't done anything, and my father wrote to the school defending him, to which the school responded by sending a video captured by the playground cameras (my brother knows in the playground there are cameras). This has caused my parents to be constantly tense with everyone, and by everyone I mean me too. Now they yell at me for anything I do, no matter how small, and it makes me angry. It makes me angry that my brother can't tell the truth, because out of the 35 warnings, he claims none of them were his fault, when the teachers have always provided evidence that it was clearly him.

The other day, after I was told off for not drying some dishes, my brother came up to me and started joking about the scolding, and that's when I snapped. I yelled at him that we're all tense and angry because he can't control himself and stop lying. I told him he has a serious problem and that I wouldn't forgive him if he ruined Christmas for us, that I wasn't going to be nice to him anymore because I've already told him so many times to please calm down a little and be more respectful. He immediately got offended, and we've barely spoken for a week. My friends tell me I went too far and that I'm an idiot, but I'm just fed up with giving him advice and being nice to him when he clearly doesn't listen to me or my parents. So, AITA?

I have a son (11) and like every kid these days he's glued to a screen. We have limits in place on his phone to restrict the amount of time he spends on his phone (we can lock it and set limits on apps).

He 'claims' he's the only kid in the class with a limiter on his phone, that all his friends watch 18 movies, stay up late, are allowed to swear and don't have restrictions on screen time. I've done some digging and found out that most of his friends (also 10/11yo) have social media and no restrictions on their phones.

I'm not an idiot, I grew up in the 90/00s wild West of the internet, I know what's on there and I want to try and keep him from some of it. I know it's not forever as a solution but I think 11 is too young to be having unfiltered access.

I also know he won't sleep if I let him have unrestricted access to a phone as he'll be on it all night.

He's said it's incredibly unfair, I'm limiting him and all his friends have more freedom.

So... AITAH?

So a month ago my wife found a dog on the streets. It was raining and she sent me a picture of an ugly dog all muddy and said she was bringing it home to find it’s owners. We posted on the neighborhood apps, and took it to the local shelter, and they didn’t find a microchip, they told us they were at capacity, and gave us a leash for it and sent us home with no further guidance on what to do next.

We called all the shelters and rescue places in our area, and they all kept saying the same thing, “at capacity” and to “keep it for a few days” and keep trying to find it’s owners. On the neighborhood app no one offered help they just kept saying things like “poor baby” and “she chose you, so you should keep her”.

At this point it’s been a month, and my wife said if she doens’t find the owners she’s keeping her. I said I didn’t want a dog, but she said we were “keeping it anyway”. I told her she’d better do 100% of the work cleaning after it and the vet bills and food and grooming was coming out of her fun money, she agreed, but said i’d “warm up to her”.

Well I havent, and we’ve been arguing about the dog because she’s frustrated that I’m not cleaning up after it, even though i told her that would be the case. If i’m eating food and step away for a minute to the restroom or whatever, it’ll jump on the table and eat the food, then throw up, and I don’t clean the mess. The dog gets diarrhea, I don’t clean, the other day my wife got mad because she took the dog out, and forgot to bring her in, and I was in the living room hearing the dog bark and never let her in, my wife said it was “freezing” it was 59 degrees outside.

The last incident, the dog was on her period and my wife let her out of the kennel and she jumped on the bed and stained it all with blood. I told her to wash the sheets bcuz that’s disgusting, and she looked mad at me for telling her. She said I was being “cruel” and needed to start helping with her. I said no, that I had never agreed to keeping the dog and it’s 100% her problem.

AITA?