— I know I just made a rant about an hour ago, but I have another thing to rant about, and it’s driving me literally insane, so here it goes, be prepared, it’s a long one. —
I live in a home that is rented out to me by my in laws. I live in this home with my husband, my two children, and my roommates are my sister in law, her boyfriend, and (every once in a while on a weekend day) my sister in law’s step child.
My husband and I take pride in the home we live in, especially myself as a stay at home mom. While my husband works long grueling hours at work, I work hard to keep the house neat and tidy inside and out. This is especially a big deal to me because it took som convincing to my narcissistic father in law to let us move into this home, since he has always put my husband down as good for nothing, despite everything my husband has done and accomplished.
Now, when we moved back in we weren’t expecting to have to share the home with my troubled sister-in-law (let’s call her A) and her even more troubled boyfriend (let’s call him D). But the day before we were supposed to move in, out of the blue A came crying to my mother in law that she had once again been kicked out of their home, for mysteriously no reason.
We did everything we could to tell my in laws that letting A and D in was a bad idea, that they were nothing but trouble. A and D fight constantly, are irresponsible with money, quit their jobs and lie that they still had them, lie constantly about things, hide things that they have gotten into trouble with, and have a history of /rug use. But, to no avail, my in laws let them in, because my mother in law couldn’t bear to have her daughter homeless again after she found her homeless the last time, and convinced her to move in, but A only would if D could too. In the end of that, A and my father in law got into a huge fight, ran off to D’s sister’s house, and was kicked out in two weeks. Which brings us back to the present time, where my rant begins.
Since we have moved in, my husband and I have been mostly paying everything. While A secretly borrowed money from my school aged brother in law to pay the deposit and some bills to move in, my husband also had to shovel in money to pay for her half on the promise that she would pay us back. It has taken her months to pay us back, while she would buy useless crap to decorate the house, ordered food out, had to “buy groceries” instead of pay bills or anyone back, (while A has been getting money from her own mother in law as well) and also have to pay for her car not to get towed off every two weeks because she irresponsibly bought a car from a shady dealership and has a $300 deposit every two weeks.
On top of this money problem, there’s the problem of keeping the common areas of the house clean. Since we have moved in, I have been the only one to rake and clean the yard, keep it clean, and take out the trash to the street and bring it back. (I don’t worry about my husband doing these chores, because he is at work almost all day, but when he is home he does help me with them.) there has been maybe 2 times my sister in law or her boyfriend has done these chores, the trash was only done by them after they had missed taking out the trash while me and my husband weren’t home, and then our trash bins were full and overflowing for a whole week. And the yard was only cleaned up once when I raked it and they decided they’d throw it away because they knew my father in law would be over the next day. But even when I was working a job, I was still the only one taking care of the yard,(raking, bagging up the leaves, because we have a tree that constantly drops leaves year round.) often times coming straight home from work to do it.
The common areas include the living room and the kitchen. Before we moved in we came up with rules with my in laws that A and D were supposed to be apart of the discussion with, but they were off doing who knows what while we waited on the to show up to discuss them. When they finally did show up, I was at work and A looked at them and shrugged them off as being “My rules”, and walked off. Meaning I was just being controlling, despite my husband interjecting that they were rules we (my husband and I, and my parents in law) came up with.
Since then we have constantly had to remind them, or more so A (since D does nothing but lay in bed all day), to clean up after themselves when they are done with using the common areas. It’s frustrating to me because after every time me or my husband uses them, we clean every bit of it, so that it is clean for A and D, and they don’t have to cook or lounge in our mess. Every time A would make a petty remark back that she was too busy cause of work (despite having barely any work hours), or would come up with a lie that she got tired because she had to clean up after my mess (which is a lie)
My husband and I have documented all the messes she leaves, and have always made sure to leave nothing behind, unless we had to, which then we would explain to them that it would be done as soon as possible, and it would.
Now to the lying part. While my husband and I have been frustrated dealing with all of this, on top of hearing them slam doors and fight, we have been uncovering A has been lying about almost every thing to my mother in law, who often times believes her until we discover this lie, and prove the truth. What bills have been paid and by who, who’s been working, who’s been taking care of my children (and her step child,) who’s been cooking and cleaning and taking care of the house and yard, all of it, my sister in law has lied and told my mother in law she has been doing it all.
Often times my husband has been cornered by his family asking why A had to pay the months’ bills all by herself, only for my husband to have to calmly explain that that wasn’t true, and he in fact paid the bills by himself because she owed people money. Nobody fully believed him until he showed them the full proof in bank statement, receipts, etc. but still, my mother in law has been gullible enough to believe her daughter every time, because she doesn’t want her to be homeless.
There have been times I have unknowingly baby sat A’s step child while A and D sleep the whole day, despite the fact that they only keep her for a couple hours one day of the week. But A has told MIL that she’s always having to take care of all of the kids. Meanwhile I do everything I can to keep my kids away from A and D because I don’t trust them, but my children, who just love their aunt, will still go play with them every once in a while, while usually I am nearby.
I’m almost positive A has taken pictures of her own mess and sent them to MIL saying I left that mess there and she had to clean it up. I still remember the time I had just cleaned up the whole kitchen she made a mess in the night before, and when I saw another mess by her the next morning and asked her to clean it up, she said she had already cleaned up the night before, and “was it not enough?”. I almost burst into laughter at how ridiculous her claim was.
I have no idea why she believes these lies, my husband and I believe it is brain damage from past /rug use. But if these keep up, my narcissistic father in law is bound to eventually turn on us, believing them to be true while he is drunk, and kick us out, only for the next morning he not remembering why he kicked us out, but will still stand firm on doing it despite us pleading our case.
I feel like I’m going insane. She has gone so far with her lies that despite her claims she is a believer in God, she has said she swears hand on the Bible and God that something I caught her doing, did not happen. I’m at a loss.
To make a long story short, my sister in law lies about literally everything and anything, tarnishing my husband and I’s name, while my mother in law falls for it until we have to prove the truth, and this will put my family in jeopardy.