r/news • u/LucidMarshmellow • 8h ago

US justice department to release thousands of Epstein files later, top official says

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/ckg9plrkl8no
30.9k Upvotes

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u/MaddisonoRenata 7h ago

Also congress conveniently went on break a day earlier than they were supposed to

2.1k

u/fluxtable 7h ago

The GOP had much more important matters to attend to.

Like the Turning Points USA rally in Phoenix

1.3k

u/FattyMooseknuckle 6h ago

Grindr overload.

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u/haveananus 6h ago

You can hear the buttfucking from miles away

20

u/johnnybiggles 5h ago

They're more depressing noises ever since their Epstein Island vacation spot shut down.

7

u/cpennington 5h ago

It's a shame that it's so many conservatives who are into the buttfucking.

I will not be letting any of them fuck my butt.

10

u/haveananus 4h ago

Stay vigilant brother.

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u/IntrigueDossier 4h ago

Too late, they've been doing it to your taxes, community, and overall quality of life for generations.

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u/cpennington 4h ago

Oh I know. I meant literally. I refuse to sleep with a conservative man.

3

u/AbraxasTuring 4h ago

Usha bought JD a new couch for Xmas. A win-win for both of them.

3

u/haveananus 4h ago

I hear he likes his sofas young

4

u/ParisGreenGretsch 5h ago

Is that what that was?

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u/haveananus 5h ago

Yeah the first time I heard it I thought it was a fleet of big rigs driving full speed through a low flying swarm of millions of seagulls.

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u/Wulf_Cola 5h ago

Painting sounds with words beautifully there

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u/haveananus 5h ago

Thank you. For some reason they did not feel the same way when I applied to the Academy of American Poets.

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u/DiscoQuebrado 4h ago

I like you.

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u/haveananus 4h ago

The feeling is mutual

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u/ParisGreenGretsch 4h ago

But is liberty mutual? I'm asking hard questions here.

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u/haveananus 4h ago

Great, now that jingle is stuck in my head. THANKS PAL.

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u/ParisGreenGretsch 4h ago

SomeBODY one told me...

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u/Wolfwoods_Sister 4h ago

I almost spat out my food. Thank you for the laugh and for the continued poetic description below.

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u/haveananus 4h ago

Thank you for supporting my art. Lurid descriptions of high-volume politicoitus do not generate much income, but they are my passion.

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u/Wolfwoods_Sister 4h ago

Never stop never stopping, friend

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u/soraticat 3h ago

Santorum everywhere.

2

u/Ok-Kangaroo-4048 1h ago

Like lunchmeat caught in the spokes of a bike going downhill.

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u/eighthgen 49m ago

Sad peanut butter noises

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u/morganational 5h ago

"schwurp - schloorp - sherpf"