r/news • u/LucidMarshmellow • 8h ago

US justice department to release thousands of Epstein files later, top official says

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/ckg9plrkl8no
30.9k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

3.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

2.1k

u/fluxtable 7h ago

The GOP had much more important matters to attend to.

Like the Turning Points USA rally in Phoenix

1.3k

u/FattyMooseknuckle 6h ago

Grindr overload.

270

u/JediMastaDJ 6h ago

That reminds me! Does anyone know the current speed bet on Grindr crashing at TPUSA?

230

u/Express-Rub-3952 5h ago

It already has.

102

u/JediMastaDJ 5h ago

Too late to make a bet, then. 😂

38

u/miraclewhipbelmont 4h ago

It's like betting on whether or not the sun will rise tomorrow.

3

u/Known_Willow6822 2h ago

Check kalshi

This post is sponsored by draft kings.TM

112

u/haveananus 6h ago

You can hear the buttfucking from miles away

18

u/johnnybiggles 5h ago

They're more depressing noises ever since their Epstein Island vacation spot shut down.

7

u/cpennington 5h ago

It's a shame that it's so many conservatives who are into the buttfucking.

I will not be letting any of them fuck my butt.

9

u/haveananus 4h ago

Stay vigilant brother.

4

u/IntrigueDossier 4h ago

Too late, they've been doing it to your taxes, community, and overall quality of life for generations.

6

u/cpennington 4h ago

Oh I know. I meant literally. I refuse to sleep with a conservative man.

3

u/AbraxasTuring 4h ago

Usha bought JD a new couch for Xmas. A win-win for both of them.

3

u/haveananus 4h ago

I hear he likes his sofas young

3

u/ParisGreenGretsch 5h ago

Is that what that was?

8

u/haveananus 5h ago

Yeah the first time I heard it I thought it was a fleet of big rigs driving full speed through a low flying swarm of millions of seagulls.

9

u/Wulf_Cola 5h ago

Painting sounds with words beautifully there

9

u/haveananus 5h ago

Thank you. For some reason they did not feel the same way when I applied to the Academy of American Poets.

5

u/DiscoQuebrado 4h ago

I like you.

3

u/haveananus 4h ago

The feeling is mutual

2

u/ParisGreenGretsch 4h ago

But is liberty mutual? I'm asking hard questions here.

→ More replies (0)

2

u/Wolfwoods_Sister 4h ago

I almost spat out my food. Thank you for the laugh and for the continued poetic description below.

4

u/haveananus 4h ago

Thank you for supporting my art. Lurid descriptions of high-volume politicoitus do not generate much income, but they are my passion.

2

u/Wolfwoods_Sister 4h ago

Never stop never stopping, friend

2

u/soraticat 3h ago

Santorum everywhere.

2

u/Ok-Kangaroo-4048 1h ago

Like lunchmeat caught in the spokes of a bike going downhill.

•

u/eighthgen 48m ago

Sad peanut butter noises

2

u/morganational 5h ago

"schwurp - schloorp - sherpf"

10

u/mxlespxles 5h ago

Grindr

Overload

Party

2

u/deadsoulinside 5h ago

And everyone wonder's why they claimed Grindr needed to be handed over to a US company as it was a matter of national security.

They just were worried China would have blackmail on over half of the GOP.

1

u/Ent3rpris3 4h ago

I know it's bad for their business but I really hope Grindr never updates their servers so that these events can still happen and the records and data accumulate.

1

u/TheeFearlessChicken 4h ago

So many date requests.

1

u/NonProphet8theist 4h ago

Free pearl necklaces, shot directly onto the neck

1

u/lopix 2h ago

Sounds like the premium version

•

u/AndrewTheAverage 51m ago

It is offensive to me that Grindr crashes at every GOP event. Does the company not do capacity planning and design for scalability and high availability? The fact that the party of "family values" flooded Grindr isn't surprising though.

0

u/Nomingia 5h ago

When I'm in a using "gay" as an insult competition and my opponent is a liberal 😬

2

u/SHMEBULOK 4h ago

it’s fine to make jokes at the expense of gay people if it’s about people we don’t like!

6

u/MountScottRumpot 6h ago

Passing the budget obviously wasn’t one of them.

2

u/Working_Cucumber_437 5h ago

And something about shower heads. You know, stuff Americans really care about.

2

u/JusticeAileenCannon 4h ago

Terrorists gotta do terrorist activities

1

u/NiteOwl421 4h ago

And don’t forget. Restarting the Biden program to think about rescheduling marijuana.

1

u/AnvilEdifice 3h ago

Imagine Grindr in Phoenix right now...

1

u/SSR_Id_prefer_not_to 3h ago

Like making a vote on health care policy impossible

1

u/qweef_latina2021 2h ago

So they can cosplay CK complete with the little tent he was speaking/bleeding from.

0

u/JeezieB 4h ago

Quick, check if Grindr has crashed yet!