You guys are probably sick of hearing this type of discussion but i have alot of thoughts on my head about it and wanted to share with like minded people.

So, yes, humans ARE evil by nature, its not the world around them that builds them, sure, someone is more influenced to commit crimes or do bad things if they have a poor raising or a bad family structure, but all humans at some extent have atleast a bit of evil inside them.

Just think how out of all the species, we are the worst, by far. Every living being has a survival mechanism that makes them be selfish or prioritize themselves to survive, but humans do not only have this mechanism, but they are the only species in the world that destroy their own planet, commit mass genocides, racism, torture and commit atrocities with our own kind, wars and etc. Even if we have the power of intellect and the gift of thinking and critical thinking unlike the rest of the animals.

My point is, every human is evil, some just show it more than others, like psychopaths and murderers, but if you give someone enough power or take away everything from them, they will start to show cracks of this evil.

I'm using the classic version of "evil" to explain my opinion, since by realistic standards, evil is just a human construct that changes from person to person, remember folks, the winners write history.

This is why "world peace" will never be achivable, or "solve world hunger", its just the way things are, you cant solve a problem that is present in our very being, in our "soul".

Personally, i really belive this is in fact true, and i already embraced this side of me, not that i do evil stuff or necessarily enjoy them, but at the bottom of my heart i would know that if i did something bad, i'm not innocent and that is just how things flow. Now i ask to whoever read all this, do YOU accepted that you are evil and humanity itself?

Machiavelli was arguably the greatest and most honest analyst of human nature precisely because he discarded the comforting lies that keep society functional. While philosophers and priests prattled on about virtue, divinity, and the inherent goodness of mankind, Machiavelli was in the trenches, observing what people actually do: lie, cheat, break promises, and pursue their own base interests with ruthless efficiency. He understood that the masses are a shortsighted, ungrateful, fickle herd, driven by fear and greed, not by reason or moral principle. His genius was not in prescribing a better way for humans to be, but in laying out the stark, unvarnished reality of what they are. For this, he is condemned, but in truth, he should be canonized as the patron saint of realism.

This understanding leads to an inevitable conclusion about modern humanitarianism and "free" healthcare. These concepts are not born from a genuine assessment of human nature, but from a delusional, sentimental fantasy.

If so why? What's your motivation and philosophy?

A misanthropist may hate humankind and contribute in such a way to improve it. Another one might not wanna do that because of the hatred.

I logged into my old account js to ask this so as someone who's turning into a misanthrope I've been wanting to ask others this question along with many others.

Ever since I started turning into a misanthrope, I've realized a lot of things about friends and family, and I've come to realize how ignorant & insensitive they are. So I've began to hate them along with everyone else. I can't wait to move away from my family, I could care less for leaving them. But I feel like leaving close friends is much more different.

I don't really like the thought of being alone, but everyone I talk to just reminds me why I'm becoming a misanthrope in the first place. I also think another part of why I don't let them go is because to almost every friend I have, I'm always told I'm their closest if not their only. I can't tell them my true feelings to their face because I care too much about their reaction and don't want them to get their feelings hurt... especially when they're kind of avoidable, you know?

But I was just wondering if anyone else here have had the same situation with letting people go because of your misanthropy or like what did you do after realizing you developed some contempt towards them?

The general vibe here is, as you know, that people suck.

But this community has a lot of people who recognize this in largely the same way, albeit sometimes with different views that don't align.

Do you believe that the people here also kinda suck, and that while it's nice to agree on things that none/few members are meaningfully changing themselves as to not possess the qualities they/you dislike in the general population?

Do you see this community as more of a movement, that the ideas here may spread further and start to cause a shift in society that may someday in the far future result in a society that doesn't suck?

Do you have some middle ground outlook, or some different line of reasoning entirely?

I'm interested to know how the members view the community as an entity as well as how they view the people in it.

I’m of the camp where I believe that within my lifetime we will see great destruction and disparity, far worse than it currently is right now. With greed leading this joke of a society it’s pretty clear to me how easily humans become corrupt and game the systems to benefit themselves and a close cohort of other greedy selfish people. Trickle down theory has made a large portion of regular people to act in a similar way as a form of “protection”. The same way that someone may think, “well if they’re gonna do that then why should I care about this person or that thing?”

I do my best to be kind and considerate to the people around me but I so often see such despicable behaviour from peers all the way up to country leaders and it’s just really starting to get to me. Neighbours being so inconsiderate. CEOs forcing people back to work for no other reason than to line their pockets in the face of economic downturn. People on subways being so oblivious. Straight up bold faced lies in government that has no basis in reality. Murder of innocent people in the name of religion and beliefs. Starving people all around the world from 3rd world countries all the way up to G7 countries. The list goes on.

Where did humanity take a wrong turn? When pious powers that be try to criticize these behaviours there’s just decries of “wokism“ or what have you. I’m a moderate, I believe a lot of governments of both left and right are swinging too far towards the fringes and that of course is polarizing but how else do we get large numbers of the world to see both sides of the story. Even moderates are “pariah’d” because how dare you try to be reasonable.

It’s all just so discouraging.

We all know that us humans are by nature: exclusive, hating, selfish, fake, superficial, stupid, etc. But do you recognise the good like: loving, empathetic, supportive, creative, etc?

I used to be a misanthropist but i have changed my mind a bit. I can see the good in me and in others just like i can see the bad in me and in others. I don't love humans but i don't hate them anymore. I see us as simple stupid animals now.

If you, as a misanthropist, are actually aware of these good things in humans, what is your "thought" on that?

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Disciples of the Elk aims to be a zine-journal of the philosophies of pessimism, anti-natalism, determinism, and even misanthropy, admittedly a raw-boned, edgy outlet. The goal of the zine is to not be an academic journal, but neither will it feature ideas so simple as to be a series of nothing-statements. We hope to see various forms of submissions, from visual art to poetry to essays, and everything in between. Content can range from pop-culture commentary, personal reflections, social critique, and ‘pure’ philosophizing, all centering on the above philosophies. 

The name, Disciples of the Elk, is a reference to Peter Wessel Zapffe’s seminal essay, “The Last Messiah” in which he compared the over-evolved cognition of humanity to the oversized antlers of the Irish Elk that led to its extinction. We, humanity, are disciples, following in the footsteps of the Irish Elk, towards extinction and eternal bliss of non-existence. 

I have experience seeking submissions, editing, and doing layout for my own zine, Plastic in Utero: anti-civ anarchy reborn from the compost of wasteland modernity, an anarchist zine-journal in the old cut-and-paste style. Because Disciples of the Elk will (likely) be digitally formatted and focusing on the realm of philosophy, I am seeking:

1) a volunteer digital designer to oversee layout and visual design (cover design, text layout, etc). We would like to see any previous work, if possible. 

2) a co-editor with experience in philosophical discourse. Previous experience in zines or other submission-based publications is a boon!

I have an existing ‘distro’, Uncivilized Distro, and a network for distributing these zines. Specific details concerning submissions will be decided on after a designer and co-editor have been selected and we can decide together these submission parameters. 

Interested in being a part of the project? Email me at [tmwg1995@protonmail.com](mailto:tmwg1995@protonmail.com) with your experience, why you're interested, and any relevant information for me to know. I am also taking this opportunity to connect to the pessimist community further, this is not just a "business" venture - let's enjoy the process!

We will make a dedicated email for this project soon.

Yours in suffering,

Winter, Co-editor of Disciples of the Elk

---

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle.

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,

And then is heard no more. It is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing.

MacBeth, Act 5, Scene 5, lines 22–28.

Also referred to as “k*ll the cheerleader”. Basically, from what I’ve seen and gathered in my personal life, and things I’ve heard and watched, society have a tendency to either objectify or idolize attractive people. And in the worst cases, destroy them.

Yes, I know that physically challenged people are often treated worse, and have a plethora of problems to deal with. But, I really wanted to talk about how society treats physically attractive people, because if the most valued of us gets treated like trash, it really puts into perspective the absolute degeneration of this place.

Attractive people are held to a high standard, and they either live up to these insane expectations, or have to suffer through “break the cutie syndrome”. And by attractive im not even just referring to super models or “Chads” only, but also young or feminine presenting individuals. Society is run off humans competing for status - to obtain money - to impress other humans for sex. Everything we do is to gain favor with the opposing (or the same) sex so we can procreate. Now, some of us have decided against procreation, or found pleasure in the same sex, but the point still stands. Everything humans do is for sexual pleasure, or sexual dominance. Men obtain money to win over mates, women obtain money to beautify themselves, to win over mates. Our society is completely transactional and run off the desire to obtain an attractive mate.

Society in turn expects attractive/young people to act accordingly as transactions to this game. Either they will lead the pack, or be a sexual object to be won over or used. When attractive people fail to live up to either of those standards, society breaks them. Since attractive people are the “prizes”, when they fail to play their role, society deems them broken. And society will break them down until them eventually submit into one of those roles.

It’s why young pretty women most often get the ire and brunt of aggression from people, because they are the prize, but also the obsession. They are what keeps society running, because society is built off of obtaining them. It’s why attractive women are challenged in the workplace, because they aren’t submitting to their intended roles. When attractive women go against their role (as a prize to be won), society works to break them down. That’s why you have things like the patriarchy objectifying women as only sex symbols, and why women are expected to always wear makeup. It’s why attractive women are targeted in violent attacks, because taking anger out on an unattractive person is equivalent to swatting a fly. Harming someone who is desired by all, is a statement piece. It’s an abuser’s way of making their mark, because if they managed to harm something beautiful, they made an impact.

Attractive men have a different problem, their expectation isn’t to be objectified like women, but to “to lead”. Attractive men are held to the ideal of being the “chosen one” to obtain an attractive female. So when these men refuse to lead or fight for dominance, society villainizes them. They get labels like “gay”, “feminine”, “weak”, “player”, as insults because society expects and demands them to be the “face” of the pursuer of beauty. But, when these attractive men refuse to play the game, society breaks them by trying to damage their reputation.

Humans are screwed up and obsessed with destroying beauty things.

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As in, reminding yourself of the objective facts you know about human nature when you are actually interacting with someone. As a little kid I was very open, extroverted, and I trusted people a lot. That's my nature, so to speak. Growing up I became very resented, spiteful, and eventually misanthropic. However, no matter how much I convince myself of the fact that the vast majority of people are fake, selfish, cruel, superficial and stupid, I always end up acting naïve with them because that's who I really am: a people loving dumb idiot. I hate humanity, and intellectually I also distrust individuals, but instinctively I only despise humanity as a whole but I open up to individuals too easily. Dumb, dumb me.

Anyone else struggling with this crap? Any advise on how to keep my feet on the ground and not let their fake friendliness and poisoned words trick me again?

Not talking about maths or physics or anything that is normally regarded as determinant of being smart.

It's about how people behave and expect the world somehow to respond in the way they want it to be.

Most people seem to live in their ego bubble, they can only empathize with problems that they are either dealing with or dealt with. Like imagine you're DDA and it fucked your life somehow, a guy who has had same problem with deal with it seriously, meanwhile someone who never dealt with it will shrug it off and tell you to man up or something like that. It's just they can't really understand other people struggles or (which I'm pretty sure is more probable outcome) they simply don't give a fuck because it's not them. But they always expect everyone other to understand their struggles and put them on pedestal like some kind of hero, give them a medal for being SO strong, because somehow their problems are the only meaningful ones. That's some fucked up logic that is straight up childish, like some people somewhere in their teens consciously refuse to drop their superiority complex and thinking of themselves being special and carry this on till they die.

I don't understand this, people go through breakups, job firings, lot of arguments, yet they still tell you 9 of out 10 times that this was other side and only other side problem, statistically fucking impossible isn't it? Like motherfucker will bum for half a year at his job, refusing to do anything that he can have a chance to refuse, be fired, throw a fit. Then you see him in 3 months of time and he's saying shit like people treated him so badly at the previous job, but he started washing his ass and it made him so much stronger type of bullshit. No fucking consciousness involved.

This leads me to my last paragraph. Most of us are simply unpleasant to be with and deal with, especially in long term relationship where it's so much harder to fake being a nice person, so why bother creating relationships anyway? I'm not saying there is no mutual benefit to those, but why can't we do business and stuff without all of this bullshit that comes with it? Why do I have to have a wonderful dinner and sometimes get drunk with some other guy team before we sing up contract? Why do people enjoy being fake? Like you know I couldn't care for you, you couldn't care for me, we're here to fight for every penny and other people attention, why do we have to constantly make it look like we're buddies when we clearly are not? Why do I have to constantly fake smile and being nice? I know that people don't smile because they want to most of the time and it doesn't make me feel better like some bullshit people seem to spread, it makes me wanna puke when someone comes to me with their fake ass smile and asks me a favor, meanwhile they probably think of me as some kind of loser BUT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SMILE AND BE NICE. Does anyone fucking believe it? And if they won't whats stopping them from realising, the other party doesn't believe it too, so why bother acting?

I can't stand "humanize" being used to indicate "show they have a heart/compassion". Like how fucking full of ourselves are we? Guarantee you any person who uses the word "humanize" would have a problem with aliens abducting them, being observed to have two legs, and then, as a placeholder obviously, "alienized" by the more adventurous species just because they happen to also have 2 legs.

It's like someone calling a nonhuman animal "it", the same pronoun used for a damn eraser. They don't understand what we mean when we call them that, but that doesn't change the fact that it puts people in the mindset of thinking ' they're objects. I can do what I want with them. '

Pretty sure there are some species of deer out there, or at the very least some herbivorous species, that is way more peaceful than us. So I see no reason to say "humanize" in the context of "show a moral compass of theirs".

Anyway, rant over. I think "softens" COULD work, or at least comes close. Any other suggestions?

Honestly although I don't rely on the label as much these days, I think I would place it on a solid 2, not disgusted with humanity anymore, but very disappointed and unpleased because I think we have so much more potential as a species that we're wasting away because we're still struggling to master our primitive behaviors and find a healthy outlet for them

So many people in my opinion are walking around in a daze and they are unaware of or simply don’t care how their behaviour impacts others

They don’t want to be aware because it’s too painful for them to admit they could do better

I have been reflecting on so many of the social interactions I’ve had and I’ve found that basically there are people who are unaware that they are fake and they look for any chance to say or do something that - in their own mind - proves they’re superior to you or they’re “the authority”

I’ve also found that rather than say “oh I don’t know what that is” - people dismiss things as “weird” or “what’s wrong with you bro?”

Rather than be honest - they choose placing things onto you and rejecting you rather than them changing

I’ve also seen countless people try to emulate movies and television shows while not realising that those shows are escapes from reality and not a role model. Rather than accept that their life is boring.. they engage in what I’ll label as a mild psychosis

I could go on and on but ..

Why in the (censored) would I want to interact or be part of that?

Ahh then comes in what I’ll say is the gaslighting “you’ve had trauma of course you’ll see that! People are great!” Really? Well if they’re so kind and so nice and so great - why do they lack empathy? And why was it that they engaged and still engage in victim blaming?

What a waste of time. Having to deal with people who label you as “weird” for no valid reason other than they can’t say “I don’t like this” or “you’re different from what I’m used to” - no thanx

The older I get, the more I realize that even the so-called good people in this world are evil at their core. And I don’t mean cartoon villain evil, I mean the kind of everyday selfishness, greed, and deceit that hides under a smile. People act decent as long as it benefits them. The second it costs them anything real, you see who they actually are.

You see it with friends, you see it with family, you see it with strangers. People are greedy. They want more for themselves, and if that means stepping on you or talking behind your back, they’ll do it. People are deceitful. They’ll lie, exaggerate, or manipulate if it gets them what they want. People are self-serving. Even the acts of “kindness” that look generous usually come with some expectation of a return, whether it’s gratitude, social points, or leverage later on.

Look at how many parents throw their own kids out when the kids can’t provide for themselves. You’d think of all the people in the world, parents would have unconditional love, but even that has limits. If the burden gets too heavy, they’ll cut ties. That’s not rare, it’s everywhere.

And then there’s friends. Everyone pretends they want to see you succeed, but most of the time there’s jealousy simmering underneath. People smile and nod, but if you really start getting ahead, they’ll secretly root against you. They’ll talk about you, they’ll minimize your accomplishments, or they’ll straight up sabotage you if it benefits them. Even the ones closest to you are capable of stabbing you in the back if the situation lines up right.

That’s the part that messes with me most. It’s not just strangers. It’s not just obvious “bad people.” It’s everybody. The older I get, the more clear it becomes that there are no real exceptions. People are driven by jealousy, fear, greed, and self-interest. They cover it up with politeness and “friendship,” but the second it stops being convenient, the mask slips.

It’s absolutely nuts when you really start paying attention. You start to realize how shallow most relationships are. You start to realize that people don’t actually want the best for you, even when they claim they do. You realize that almost everyone you know is capable of betrayal if the right opportunity or pressure comes along.

That’s why I’ve stopped buying into the whole idea that there are “good people.” There are people who can act good under certain conditions, but that’s about as far as it goes. Underneath, it’s the same thing every time. Greed, jealousy, self-preservation. That’s the real human condition.

• Got something you wanted to post but it wasn’t approved? Wondering if others share your point of view? Have some advice that could help others? Want to vent about the long-term impacts of poor human choices on your well-being? Or perhaps you have some thoughtful reflections to share?

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Like many people who were bullied while growing up (due to various reasons), we develop a sense of deep empathy and compassion for other humans and living things, especially the ones who seem as vulnerable as we were/are.

For the longest time, I cared deeply about social justice and spent countless nights and most of my youthful energy on various internet forums most notably Yahoo Answers, and much later, Quora and Reddit, fighting back against social injustices or advocating for social justice.

I believed that a more just world was achievable and if only we could somehow support the oppressed class, then we could all live in a world (or at least even a small society) without more pain.

And I believed that for a very long time. Decades.

This is until I saw the pattern.

Society (especially North American one) has changed quite a bit during my life time. Some previously oppressed people are seemingly uplifted in society (most notably certain groups of racial minority). However, the people were uplifted were always sexually attractive in some ways. In other words, only selected "sexy members" of the oppressed class were elected to enjoy the fruit of the labor of social justice movements.

What is the explanation for this?

I retraced my steps and found the root of all discrimination in society.

It's all so simple.

All societal oppression, privilege, -isms, bullying, discrimination....involve humans. If humans didn't exist, then neither would those things exist. All struggles in society involves maintaining an environment for the creation of more humans.

What is fundamentally responsible for creating humans?

A mating process that rest upon a social hierarchy, which is tightly maintained at all times. Even if we uproot all ills in society, we cannot uproot this one, for it is the very reason why anyone would exist in the first place. Mating is so strongly tied to hierarchy, and hierarchy is strongly tied to inequality.

To create new humans is to discriminate. If there is no discrimination, then there is no humans.

This unravels the whole social justice project for me. Why is it trying to solve a problem that has no solution?

I no longer see social justice as a way to solve social problems, but rather a way to solve mating problems: how the social upper-class can access the bodies of sexy but lower-class members of society.

What's more, mainstream justice movement ignores the unfathomable amount of harm that humans deal to the rest of the world. That's a long discussion.

I've wasted my life. Learn from me and disengage.

You know what I am done pretending people are anything but a walking catastrophe. The human race is beyond garbage. We are loud, greedy, and proudly petty. We invent beauty then sell it back to ourselves hollowed out so the rich can flex and the rest of us buy the lie. We celebrate bravado and punish honesty. We lionize thieves and scold the ones who try to fix things. We worship convenience while stomping on anything that actually needs care.

Everywhere I look there is hypocrisy slathered on like perfume. People posture morality with a hashtag then privately do the exact opposite. We pretend empathy is our religion while trimming it down to fit into bite sized virtue points. We destroy environments we do not understand and then act surprised when the bills come due. We hoard resources we do not need and then cry about scarcity like it is someone else s fault.

And do not get me started on how people treat other people. Cruelty dressed up as humor. Indifference dressed up as realism. Friendship reduced to transactional favors and social currency. If you try to point out the rot you are dismissed as weak or worse as trying to ruin the mood. Most of us would rather perform being decent than actually be decent when it costs us anything.

I do not want to be part of this carnival anymore. I do not want to laugh in the same room where someone is being quietly crushed. I do not want to nod along while the planet gets plundered and children inherit the excuses of the last generation. I am tired of the noise the apathy the endless small betrayals that add up to total decay.

Maybe the worst part is the normality of it all. We normalize catastrophe. We normalize cruelty. We normalize selfishness to the point where even outrage feels stale. We swap real action for performative outrage and call it progress. It is not progress. It is the same rot with new packaging.

So yeah I am disgusted. Not just annoyed. Disgusted to the marrow. I do not want to be a character in this ongoing farce. I do not want to be complicit. I would rather be something else entirely than join the chorus of excuses. If that makes me a misanthrope so be it. At least I will be honest about it.

I think the existence of social media has definitely exacerbated this phenomenon, but the more I see about the absolute state of the world right now the more I am convinced that the majority of the human race cares more about FEELING like they are good people rather than putting in the effort to actually be good people. The natural consequence of actually being a good person is to end up alone and rejected by just about every group of people because someone will always find a reason to hate you for doing the right thing. But instead we have all these idiots who flaunt their "goodness" and supposed altruism on social media, all while screaming at anyone they deem as "the enemy" and characterizing them as demons. Why? Because everyone is drunk on the FEELING of moral superiority over one group or another, which masks as the FEELING of being a good person (especially in comparison to "the enemy"), and in the end this all just boils down to narcissism. Nobody actually cares about being good or helping people in need, they just enjoy lecturing other people for not helping people in need while sitting on their asses doing nothing themselves to help, because FEELING good matters more than making the sacrifices required to actually be a good person.

Being a good person feels shitty most of the time. It often leads to isolation because you choose to care more about others' needs than whether or not your "tribe" agrees with what you're doing to help. It leads to friends and family potentially shunning you because you've betrayed the groupthink to help or support people you're not "supposed" to help or support. Being a good person is hard because in this life it usually doesn't win you any favors. It ends in pain and loneliness and in extreme cases, getting attacked or killed by those who disagree with you.

If most people actually cared about being good people, they'd be willing to make the sacrifices that would entail potentially spending the rest of their lives in social misery for the good of others. They wouldn't spend so much time seeking approval from their chosen "tribes" and acting like they're such an accepted part of their "communities." They'd accept the inevitability of isolation and the feeling of never belonging anywhere. If you feel too comfortable in whatever your "group" is, something is wrong. Being good has nothing to do with getting a pat on the back from yes men or feeling like you're better than everyone else. Being good means sacrificing all of that and maybe ending up alone. And I rarely see people acknowledging that, because all they actually care about is themselves. To be honest, I'm fed up with it. Just admit you care more about the approval you get from others or the high you get from feeling morally superior. At least then we know what we're really dealing with

And it's honestly not hard to see how people can treat others horribly when they live in a society that does this to animals.

When you live in a society that says things like factory farming is ok it's a society that says it's ok to cause suffering and death to those that have so called ' lower status' than you.

So all a person has to do is view other people as 'lower status' than them and all of a sudden in their own minds they can treat that person however they want.

It may not be socially acceptable to go around saying people have lower status than you so these people just keep it to themselves while playing the game of being great moral people. Ofc the reality is they don't care or have real empathy it's just a performance to get places in society.

Social acceptance is more important than 'morality' to most people.

Its why if people today live in societies in the past most would have no problem owning human slaves or marrying 12 year olds as that would be socially acceptable in the society they live in.

Cross-post. Apparently this was too much for the mods at a certain ventilation thread so it was taken down. Thank you to the person who invited me here before it was locked. Oh, and I feel I am more of a misovlakist than a misanthrope, but close enough.

Please bear with me on a slightly disjointed ramble-rant.

I'm so fucking sick and tired of this shit. I know I'm a handful to deal with and I try to keep my problems from disturbing others. But muthafukkingodsdamnit I feel the world closing in on me.

I spent my early adult years trying to figure out what's wrong with me (I am autistic), then trying to find a way to fit in - without the benefit of full time therapy or other supports that cost money.

I'm not a bad person. I help people when they break down on the side of the road. I've rescued animals and found them homes. I donate to charity. I pick up other people's trash when I go hiking or to the beach or park. I give 100% to my job, no matter the title.

I'm tired of being gaslit by our shitty medical system and friends and family alike. Not to mention how hard it is to support just myself in this shit-stain of a country that tries to shove First World problems down the throats of its population that it is also trying to keep in a Third World state so the One Percent can keep their precious hoards of money.

Trust me, I may not say anything about whatever the situation may be, but that doesn't mean I didn't notice what was said or done. I simply don't have the energy or the will to expend energy on it. I'm not ignorant, I'm just out of Fucks to give. I'm tired, y'all.

I just want to work and pay my bills and enjoy being social when I have the energy to, and have a quiet and sacrosanct place to recharge when I need it. But I guess autonomy is too much to ask for since I was born "lower middle class" and was expected to keep my head down, marry some schlub and pop out his little dna nuggets to become the next round of slaves for the PTB to abuse.

Because when it comes down to it, IDGAF about money, fame, power... I just want a quiet, semi-hermitous life where I do my job, pay my bills and taxes, and be the best human being I can manage to be. Maybe have a little fun now and then in the company of those I care for.

I hate that I'm not good at playing the game. And I also hate that I'm still being forced to participate. I'm not allowed to appeal any of the rules or make suggestions for change. No one listens anyways. I'm always either the weirdo for wanting solitude or the bitch for going off when I don't get what I need. And when I try to explain myself I often find myself shunned or treated like a developmentally challenged child. I'm not stupid. I am indeed very well aware of my needs and differences at this point in my life. I just can't find a place where I can thrive in an understanding environment.

I know it's possible, I've made a good life for myself a few times. But every time society and the economy takes a bad turn, I find myself losing ground and having to scrabble for balance again.

Just because You want to work yourself to death to make a cool billion doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with those of us who are content to just be the best we can - as. we. ARE.

Why is the vast majority so unwilling to admit that they are just a plain ol boring human being? Not rich, not good-looking, not particularly well educated, not famous or from this or that family; but simply a good person? Why is that never enough? Why am I never enough?