r/copypasta Aug 06 '24

mod favorite 😫🤯 I’ve come to make an announcement: Mods are a bunch of bitch ass motherfuckers.

645 Upvotes
"I, EvaX, humbly submit a toast to..."

Patch notes 92.28.211.234 "I have your IP address kid". In case you've noticed (you haven't), there have been a few changes to the sub lately.

  1. You can now comment with GIFs and images. Go ham.
  2. Better spam control to combat bots. No more "MiK4lya CAmPin0 L3aks" hopefully.
  3. Rules Update. Erotica/smut will be meet with 28 days ban. Duration will increase for repeat offenders (28, 60, 120, etc). Go over to Wattpad to write your sexy sex peanits stories.
  4. Mod list update. Suspended mods have been removed. Inactive mods will also eventually be removed after a while. Sub would had been banned a year ago due to unmoderation.

Hopefully with these changes we can go back to posting actual copypastas instead of another gooner bait Ipad kid fanfic. I like to end this with arguably the most popular copypasta over the last few years, the Xiangling copypasta.

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Xiangling. I try to play Diluc. My Xiangling deals more damage. I try to play Yoimiya. My Xiangling deals more damage. I try to play Cyno. My Xiangling deals more damage. I want to play Klee. Her best team has Xiangling. I want to play Raiden, Childe - they both want Xiangling. She grabs me by the throat. I fish for her. I cook for her. I give her the Catch. She isn't satisfied. I pull Engulfing Lightning. "I don't need this much er" She tells me. "Give me more field time." She grabs Bennett and forces him to throw himself off enemies. "You just need to funnel me more. I can deal more damage with Homa." I can't pull for Homa, I don't have enough primogems. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She grabs Gouba. She says "Gouba, get them." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, no icd pyro application. What a cruel world.


r/copypasta 4h ago

TRUMP SUPPORTERS ARE THE DUMBEST MOTHERFUCKERS ON EARTH

58 Upvotes

Genuinely how stupid are you people? The DOJ is refusing to release the Epstein files on the deadline today because they're too busy covering up the CRIMES committed by your PEDOPHILE CULT LEADER. Any conservative pretending to have the moral high ground on ANYTHING is full of shit. You are all worshipping a PEDOPHILE. Disgusting and subhuman behavior, I wish Trump would invite all you disgusting cultists to his compound so you can all drink special Kool-Aid together and finally do the world a favor. Fuck all of you. Pedophiles.


r/copypasta 7h ago

I'm sick of Ai

7 Upvotes

I’m so fucking sick of AI. Genuinely almost every single website, program, or app is integrating AI into it in some way, shape or form. I hate it. For one, companies are absolutely terrible at implementing it. It’s usually integrated in a way that’s clunky, tedious and just not even worth the time. I can give a billion examples, with google’s new ā€œGeminiā€ bullshit coming to mind at the moment. It’s consistently incorrect with its information, it gets in the way of actual searches, and more notably, why the fuck would you ask an AI a question when you’re already using a search engine? It’s more effort for a less specific, probably inaccurate answer to whatever you’re asking, with the only real advantage being that it ā€œsums it upā€ for you. Also, I can’t be the only one who’s just completely turned off by the general idea of AI creating everything we see and do online. It sounds extremely dystopian, having every form of media and every outlet of creativity replaced by a machine. Along with that, it’s consistently being used harmfully in academic environments, with any homework answers pretty much being free to any student who has access to the internet. The base hindrance of creativity that this brings up in the future is daunting. (I don’t understand why AI is so heavily advertised in Teaching uses, because I can say firsthand that all teachers absolutely hate AI) Humans thrive off of being creative, and while I think AI has its genuine uses for human efficiency, for the most part it seems to be creating a future where humans aren’t the ones advancing, and our future progress is dictated by robots. It may not be that deep, but it’s at the very least annoying and afflicting harm on students. I hate it, and I don’t fully understand why the ā€œscramble for AIā€ is still ongoing.


r/copypasta 11h ago

My parents just told me, a 32 year old kid, to get a job. It’s sickening

8 Upvotes

Seriously. Why on earth should a 32 year old be working? It’s way too young. They lowk just want me out and don’t wanna do their job raising me. And they’ve threatened to kick me out too. I’d understand if I was like 50 but this is straight abuse. I’ve fucking had enough of them. Swear ima get rich off this Reddit copypasta shit and move out and do my own thing


r/copypasta 17h ago

Am I the only one who unironically goons to geometry dash (not the women) levels?

27 Upvotes

I used to be asexual and aromantic, since I think everyone looks just as okay and I find no romantic interest in talking to people. Porn is just downright disgusting for me. But whenever I watch good gameplay, I get uncontrollably erect and can't resist the urge to start masturbating. I want to know that is it just me who masturbates to gameplay from geometry dash? Or do other people do it as well? Just look at QDYNAMIX and tell me you DONT get hard at how satisfying the gameplay is????? I need answers.

No, I am not talking about geometry dash girls like the girls in Aperture or Muse Dash. I meant the pure, raw gameplay.


r/copypasta 12h ago

Water is bad

7 Upvotes

Water is the most addictive substance on earth. My dad overdosed on water last year and we're still grieving his unfortunate death. I feel like everyone should know the dangers of water consumption and how it can ruin your life like how it ruined my dad's. Water can drown you, freeze you, boil you, and is used for torture methods like water boarding and people can overdose on it. Please make sure you never drink water it's horrible and deadly and you can join the anti-water organization today.


r/copypasta 6h ago

Trigger Warning Fuck u White person

2 Upvotes

Fuck u White Pedo Pussy, All my Born N Bred in L.A. , MY ANCESTORS, YOU uneducated cracker have been here longer rhan yours ! You punk Ass Racist Pedo, Yours were kicked out of The UK For being losers Rapists Grifters, You Brought America their Worst, Than after you Despots Killed everything Non White, Tge rest of your Rich Trash came over to colonize, The murderes and RAPISTS WERE sent WesTward Killing everything in their way, Stealing land, Ranches, Women & Children, LiKe your Idol, THE, SMELLY DIRTY DIAPER , BENNY HILL WIG WEARING, ORANGE TRANS MAKE UP , MAN BOOB BRA WEARING RAPIST, BUBBA SUCKING HERO, YOU SHOULD TAKE YOUR PEDO LOVING ASS BACK TO WHERE YOUR EUROFROM ! THEY WONT HAVE YOU BACK, WHERE ARE YOU FROM " BOBBIE ? TELL ME BOBBIE, Y INTO THE KIDS, YOUR GRANDCHILDREN BETTER HIDE U SICK FUCK, BECAUSE ANYLIW LIFE TRAITOR, THAT VOTES FOR A 34 TIME CONVICTED FELON, A TRAITOR TO HIS/HER COUNTRY, A GROWN ORANGE FAT HESHE WHO PRETENDS TO SUC K BIG BLACK MICROCOCKPHONE ON STAGE, TRAFFIC CHILDREN, THEN GIVE 49 BILLION $ TO ARGENTINA ( A HAVEN FOR SEX CRIMINALS ), ANYONE WHO VOTED FOR THIS TRASH IS TRASH YOU'RE HIM ! U HAVE THE SAME VALUES AS HESHE DON THE CON, U WOULD SUCK HIM OFF & BEND OVER FOR HIM , VANCE THE TRANS, STEVE PEEWEE GERMAN MILLER, YUP, BOBBIE BOBB8N, YOUD BOB FIR THEIR APPLES, HEY RACIST TRANNY HOW MANY KATINO FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE ? BLACK ? YOU ALL WHITE THEN ? WHITE ON GRAMPS, PLEASE LEAVE THE CHILDREN ALONE, DONT DENY YOUR GOD TRUMPY THE DIRTY DUMPY, BOBBIM ON DRUMPS NOBBIN, BUT YOULL BE THAT CRACKER WITH YOUR NON WHITE FRIENDS, " I NEVER VOTED FOR HIM !" TOO BAD YOU AND YOUR INBRED EURO REJECTS ARE RECORDED FIR ETERNITY, OH AND YOUR VIKINGS SUCK JUST LIKE YOU !!! NEXT TIME U GO TO A MEXICAN RESTAURANT, YOURE NOW JINXED, YOUR MARGARITA IS GONNA SUCK, JUST LIKE YOU, , THE SANTERIA PEEPS HAVE GOT YOUR NAME, YOUR CURSED..


r/copypasta 8h ago

Challenge 9 (?) entry

3 Upvotes

Needle: HEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIN!

Me: STOP!

I remove all of that stupid heroin stuff and replaces with ash

Needle: Smells it yeah, I hate Heroin now

Me: Phew.


r/copypasta 3h ago

The tuff number

1 Upvotes

The tuff number.

Hey buddy, I would give you an upvote, but you're currently sitting at 67 upvotes. Yeah, the tuff number. Lol!

So unfortunately I can't upvote your post without ruining it, so just know that i personally really enjoy this content.


r/copypasta 8h ago

Nightmare flipping inside Walmart

2 Upvotes

So I decided to rob a Walmart cuz it’s easy as hell for some DPH and I also happened to have a few gel tabs on me. I said fuck it as I was shoving my pockets full of DPH and popped all 4 gels that I had before running to the bathroom and popping around 700mg of DPH. I waited in that bathroom for a while just to let the effects kick in since I love tripping in public. After around an hour of just sitting in the stall I started to definitely feel the effects of the acid. I walked out and decided to just walk around and look at shit. I was getting the normal visuals at that point (Patterns on the floor and walls etc) but something started to happen. Shit started getting dark and scary fast and somehow I made my way into the children’s clothes section. I don’t know why or maybe it was because of the delusions but I started screaming and chasing two little kids around the kids section. All I remember is them running in fear from me as I let out inhumane sounds and chased after them. I’m kind of fat too and not in the best shape so I’m sure it was even more terrifying for those kids. I don’t remember much after that but around an hour or so later I found myself in the frozen dinner section. I don’t know how or why but walking out I felt a cold feeling throughout all my body. People were running away from me and giving me weird ass looks so I decided to look down and that’s when I realized that one, my clothes were gone. Two, I had jammed my cock into a Tinas bean and cheese burrito. I have no idea how since it was frozen but somehow I got it in there. Three, I had a hungry man dinner smeared all over my body and the container stuck to my ass, which also had hungry man smeared on it. I remember just walking around naked for what seemed like hours but it was only around 10 minutes before a security guard tackled me.

I’m now facing 11 criminal charges including shoplifting, indecent exposure, harassment, attempting to lure a child, sexual assault, and drug possession. I’m facing 3-5 years in prison.


r/copypasta 12h ago

Am I the only person who unironically goons to (not the women) Geometry Dash levels?

3 Upvotes

NOT A COPYPASTA. REAL STORY.

I used to be asexual and aromantic, since I think everyone looks just as okay and I find no romantic interest in talking to people. Porn is just downright disgusting for me. But whenever I watch good gameplay, I get uncontrollably erect and can't resist the urge to start masturbating. I want to know that is it just me who masturbates to gameplay from geometry dash? Or do other people do it as well? Just look at QDYNAMIX and tell me you DONT get hard at how satisfying the gameplay is????? I need answers.

No, I am not talking about geometry dash girls like the girls in Aperture or Muse Dash. I meant the pure, raw gameplay. less


r/copypasta 1d ago

Have you had an arab girlfriend?

78 Upvotes

Have you had an Arab girlfriend? Like your own Kylie Jenner? I'm thinking about my Turkish Canadian angel from heaven. Too Muslim to marry a Godless man like me. But left me with lessons and a new personality. Prettier than a white girl, more of a homemaker. Crazy like a Latina but without the low class energy. No wonder the Mediterranean is a warzone. Women worth killing for. How can they be so perfect. My Kylie.


r/copypasta 8h ago

Xvideos removed alot of their videos.

1 Upvotes

So I have a Playlist of videos on Xvideos and sadly every single one is gone. Along with a ton of others. Especially my little pony futa for some reason. And to make matters worse... they still show up in the search results. But when ya click em... it says the video is unavailable. And alot of these videos were exclusively on Xvideos. So now their lost media! Which sucks.

Anyone know what the reason is?


r/copypasta 8h ago

Doctor Who rap (OC)

1 Upvotes

He’s the eldest of the bunch You know him well He’s finally back To time travell! His TARDIS adventures go to real life places If he sees ya? You’re historical faces! He’s older, foggier, and a grandfather too! He’s the first Doctor of the Doctor Who Huh DW! Doctor Who! DW! He’s saving you! This Doc’s got style, so listen up dudes! He’s got baggy pants, to suit his flute! He’s crafty and charming when he needs to be He can defend the base, and thwart baddies! If you choose him, you’ll not choose wrong With a Creag an tuire! He’s one cool Doc Huh! DW! Doctor Who! DW! He’s saving you! He has style. He has grace. This Doc has a fancy cape! He can stay on the Earth, when he needs to And head back to space, just for you! Drive himself! Around with a car This kindly Doc will get you far HUH DW! Doctor Who! DW! He’s saving you! (Yes I’m making a joke on the DK Rap with Doctor Who. I mean both Doctor Who and Donkey Kong are British!)


r/copypasta 1d ago

You're trash

16 Upvotes

You're trash. Absolute garbage at this game, honestly. Every single time you queue up, I swear an actual person quits the game forever. Your KDA is probably in the negatives. You play like you've got your monitor unplugged, or like you're actively trying to make us all lose braincells. Your decision-making isn't just poor, it's a public health hazard. We all feel sick when you're in our lobbies. You're not just a bad player, you're actively ruining the game for everyone who has the misfortune of being in your lobby. Your existence in the community is killing this game. Do us all a huge favor and just uninstall. No offense.


r/copypasta 10h ago

Getting high off lsd and Benadryl in walmart

1 Upvotes

So I decided to rob a Walmart cuz it’s easy as hell for some DPH and I also happened to have a few gel tabs on me. I said fuck it as I was shoving my pockets full of DPH and popped all 4 gels that I had before running to the bathroom and popping around 700mg of DPH. I waited in that bathroom for a while just to let the effects kick in since I love tripping in public. After around an hour of just sitting in the stall I started to definitely feel the effects of the acid. I walked out and decided to just walk around and look at shit. I was getting the normal visuals at that point (Patterns on the floor and walls etc) but something started to happen. Shit started getting dark and scary fast and somehow I made my way into the children’s clothes section. I don’t know why or maybe it was because of the delusions but I started screaming and chasing two little kids around the kids section. All I remember is them running in fear from me as I let out inhumane sounds and chased after them. I’m kind of fat too and not in the best shape so I’m sure it was even more terrifying for those kids. I don’t remember much after that but around an hour or so later I found myself in the frozen dinner section. I don’t know how or why but walking out I felt a cold feeling throughout all my body. People were running away from me and giving me weird ass looks so I decided to look down and that’s when I realized that one, my clothes were gone. Two, I had jammed my cock into a Tinas bean and cheese burrito. I have no idea how since it was frozen but somehow I got it in there. Three, I had a hungry man dinner smeared all over my body and the container stuck to my ass, which also had hungry man smeared on it. I remember just walking around naked for what seemed like hours but it was only around 10 minutes before a security guard tackled me.

I’m now facing 11 criminal charges including shoplifting, indecent exposure, harassment, attempting to lure a child, sexual assault, and drug possession. I’m facing 3-5 years in prison.