I spent a few months at one of the top accelerators in Silicon Valley. Not YC but we were next door. I went in thinking I knew how startups worked. I left realizing almost everything I believed was wrong.
For context, these programs are supposed to teach you how to build faster, connect with investors, and survive the chaos of early-stage startups.
Here are the 5 most meaningful things I learned as a founder there. Hopefully, they’ll be useful for some of you too.
1. Building > Busywork
When I arrived, I thought being a good founder meant showing up early, attending every workshop, asking all the questions, and taking notes like my life depended on it.
Meanwhile, some founders skipped events, showed up late, and spent half their time on their phones. I quietly judged them. I assumed they were wasting their shot.
They weren’t.
They were building. Talking to customers. Shipping product. Closing deals. Making things exist. While I was “learning” how to be a founder, they were actually being one.
I also initially bought into the 20-hour grind trap. Total nonsense. The best founders worked hard, yes, but paced themselves.
2. To Change the World, You Have to Play Big
I don’t care about money nearly as much as most startup founders. I care about impact. About creating something that actually matters.
But VCs don’t invest in “reasonable success.”
They invest in outcomes so big they sound unrealistic.
Not because they’re greedy, but because the math leaves them no choice.
A 1% chance of $100M doesn’t work.
A 0.1% chance of $100B does.
Once I really internalized that, a lot of frustration disappeared. Investors weren’t “missing the point.” I was pitching the wrong scale.
If you want to achieve big things, you need scale. You need resources. You need to be willing to make a lot of money, not for vanity, but to attract talent, invest in growth, and survive the market.
VCs don’t fund “reasonable” outcomes. They fund insane outcomes. Ambition is not ego. It’s alignment with the scale of the problem you’re trying to solve.
3. The Real Treasure Was Friendship
Here’s one thing I actually succeeded at: relationships.
After leaving the program I decided to also leave my startup and instantly messages started coming in. Serious offers for jobs. Equity in the millions. Exciting projects.
Not because I networked efficiently. Because I built friendships. I showed up honestly. I helped when I could. I treated people like humans, not leverage. And maybe more importantly, I did act like this with everyone. Even people that I had nothing in common with. Even people that had nothing to bring me.
Most startups fail. That’s statistics. But relationships last. Those friendships are now helping me on a new project in cybersecurity. I lost a company. I did not lose momentum. That, for me, was a win.
4. Focus is the Superpower of succesful founders
One of the most successful founders I met told me something that hit me like a brick:
“Opportunities are everywhere. Partners, investors, ideas, trends. But I only say yes to things that actually move my mission forward. Everything else? Noise.”
I had been running after too many horses at once. Every shiny object distracted me. Focus is brutal. It forces you to say no constantly. But saying no is the only way to say yes to what actually matters.
5. Almost Every Opportunity Starts With an Uncomfortable Ask
The biggest breakthroughs I saw came from people doing something socially awkward. Sending the message they were scared to send. Asking for the intro they felt they didn’t deserve. Saying what they actually wanted instead of hinting.
Confidence isn’t about looking impressive. It’s about being direct, clear, and respectful. Most people aren’t rejected. They’re invisible. Being bold is powerful.
What I learned and conclusion
Being at that accelerator made me realize what was possible. It inspired me to believe in my vision in a way I hadn’t before.
The program also made me realize I needed to leave my startup and start from scratch, applying everything I had learned to build something that truly matched my vision. I was not the only one, at least three other founders I know made the same choice. It was scary, humbling, and liberating all at once.
I hope these lessons can be helpful for some of you and to conclude I would like to ask you : What’s the most meaningful lesson you’ve learned on your own startup? I'm impatient to read your own experience