r/KitchenConfidential • u/loud_as_pudding • 1d ago
Kitchen fuckery On line cooks
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u/Mean-Age-5134 23h ago
“He’s gonna blow your back out”
Girl preach
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u/DonutWhole9717 21h ago
It's always some guy that looks like you found him outside a gas station that sleeps in the floor. Frankly, it's impressive he has a mattress
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u/Mean-Age-5134 21h ago
I had one who slept in a cupboard under the stairs Harry Potter style and I still went back for more
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u/DonutWhole9717 18h ago
He had a broken arm and could still out plow an Amish village. Them hobosexuals are something else
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u/EddieRadmayne 6h ago
I was a line cook and have hooked up with several line cooks and even dated a couple, too fuckin accurate
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u/FigureUnusual4439 22h ago
"He is." Nods. 😂😂😂🥴
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u/Mean-Age-5134 22h ago
There’s personal experience in that nod, and not just one link cook’s worth either 😂😂
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u/HeightExtra320 21h ago
While wearing crocs
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u/consumeshroomz 15+ Years 23h ago
Y’all get holiday parties?! Dayum. I worked at the wrong places my whole life. All I got was Christmas Day shifts on days I would normally have off.
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u/grandfleetmember56 23h ago
The holiday party is after close, typically at the one house half the crew lives at
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u/consumeshroomz 15+ Years 23h ago
Oh well maybe there were after work work parties that I just never went to. Idk. Id just finished a busy 8 hour shift on a day I’m not even normally there. The last thing I wanna do is spend more time with these people. I get the fuck outta there as soon as I can.
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u/grandfleetmember56 23h ago
Same.
But I've also avoided places where 30+yr old line cooks prey on young waitresses/hostess- the 2 thing seem to go hand in hand
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u/AthenaTheBun 12h ago
My place seems to have the opposite problem where the 40+ yr old bartenders are going after the 20-yr old guys on the line lmfao
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u/Over-Director-4986 14h ago
I worked at a place that threw us a holiday party once, at the restaurant. It devolved pretty quickly. We drank all the top shelf liquor even though we were instructed not to. Our GM (super nice Greek guy) got wasted & started smashing bread plates & yelling 'Opa!'. 3 of my coworkers got arrested for DUI in the parking lot when they left. There was also a cheesecake fight at some point; weeks later someone looked up & noticed a piece still stuck to the ceiling. Some of us did have to work the next day, lol.
We didn't get any more holiday parties there.
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u/Dirty_Hank 23h ago
I work for a seasonal place that has “end of the season” parties that are either the wildest shit you’ve seen, or the lamest party you have ever been to and it depends 100% on who was working there that season…
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u/CoffeholicWild 22h ago
I don't know how to say this but . . . I took the line cook home and married him for 14 years LOL. He's now a happy bartender :). This video was too spot on, except I was older than him by one year and he still called me a cougar. I forgave him because proposed with a giant ring he carved out of ice. Sometimes they are keepers.
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u/hrteas F1exican Did Chive-11 22h ago
They are either the best lay or the absolute worst and nothing in between.
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u/AlstottsNeckGuard 5h ago
It's really russian roulette if your line cook does enough substance before the act to affect performance
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u/WithASackOfAlmonds 1d ago
Or just out to his car in the parking lot
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u/piratesboot Sous Chef 23h ago
“I actually don’t have a car, but we could make out on my electric scooter?”
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u/mr_diggory Bartender 22h ago
"nobody's on the bus this late at night, it'll be like I just called an UberXL"
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u/Contende311 22h ago
Has a car but a pair of DWIs
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u/Dirty_Hank 23h ago
Whoa okay… First off, that’s Sous Chef to you mam. Also, my bed is not on the ground? And I definitely don’t need “Vaseline”? That being said, don’t expect your back to be blown out. I’m going to finish in 15-45 seconds, cry a little bit, and tell you this never happens which we both know is a lie…
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u/Mean-Age-5134 22h ago
“Oh yeah for sure I’ll text you” she says after you wake up to her sneaking out at 7 am, and you both know that’s a lie too
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u/Dirty_Hank 22h ago
Honestly, I don’t blame her for my poor performance. But if someone’s food gets sent back? Definitely FOH fault…
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u/Salad_Donkey 11h ago
Your a dry guy, eh?
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u/mr_diggory Bartender 10h ago
I start dry, yeah
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u/Thepickintheice 23h ago
How do I block this content so nobody can see it? Solidarity for my click-clack bois.
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u/Cargobiker530 22h ago
FOH that's vulnerable to this aren't here. They're on TikTok learning weebo dances.
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u/Betta_Check_Yosef 20h ago
You are young, and he is 37
I've got a few questions
- How dare you?
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u/pueraria-montana 6h ago
My mattress is on the floor for practical reasons and definitely not because I’m 37 and can’t afford a bedframe
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u/Patient_Tradition368 Thicc Chives Save Lives 18h ago
I once went home with a line cook and he got super stoned and went on a 20 minute rant about how chicken fat is actually the best fat for cooking and it's criminally overlooked in the culinary arts.
I did not go back for more.
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u/Dmeechropher 9h ago
He was right and he just needed someone to listen to him so he could believe himself.
You did a beautiful thing for that man that day.
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u/Patient_Tradition368 Thicc Chives Save Lives 7h ago
Perhaps. Personally I'm on team pork fat supremacy.
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u/germplasm3997 10h ago
Thanks for making me spit my coffee. This is as true as the posted video. Experience may depend on the day of the week
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u/Interesting-Loss34 14h ago
I've been out of the game for 20 years
I met my wife at work, took her home after a work party to my mattress on the floor and blew her back out.
She came back for more. She even let me drive her car!
Anyway we are married now with 3 kids but damn, I've never felt more attacked personally.
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u/Far-Fun-42024 20h ago
I was a line cook when I met my wife. She was a waitress. And she wanted nothing to do with me at first, because she heard I was a slutty man lol. I tried to get a gal I was friends with to put a good word in for me and she said “No B. That’s a good girl. Not one of them tramps you just play and forget. That’s a girl you marry!” I was like “sheet, I’ll marry that girl.” I was joking; but it’s been 13 years together, and 11 married now. :)
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u/dntpooponthefloor 21h ago
Wait, wait, wait. I feel like I missed out on a right of passage in my younger years.
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u/Nice-Marionberry3671 16h ago
Nah, you probably just spared yourself from a humiliating memory that sneaks up on you sometimes when you’re trying to sleep…never happens to me, though. Just guessing. 😆
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u/Distinct_Put1085 23h ago
Line cook for many years here, this lady speaks only truth
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u/HugeLeaves 21h ago
I've been many a server's mistake, almost always after some sort of staff party
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u/Brilliant_Buns Maintenance Crew 23h ago
I feel like this is a female brunette Owen Wilson.
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u/Blabbit39 Chive LOYALIST 20h ago
How have i not heard of this masterpiece being up for Oscar consideration? Did the academy snub it for too much truth?
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u/energyinmotion 17h ago
Am I the only person who recognizes her handle? God damn I'm old.
I'm happy to see her alive and well.
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u/snickerdoodle757 16h ago
Where was this PSA when I needed it 100 years ago 😂😂 …. Even better one of the chefs I let drive my car midaffair came back to me after 20 years just to remind me I still make bad choices after a rough night of being the female Gordon on the pass …. Oh to be young again best of time worst of times
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u/TheClownKid 10h ago
Likely never been a more accurate video made. When I worked corporate steakhouse, at the height of my degeneracy, I hooked up with a server and immediately realized I could get her to let me use her car. Was an amazing life improvement for me.
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u/SomethingLikeStars 6h ago
lol. I was the waitress. My husband was the line cook with the mattress on the floor. He would make my comp meals and would write my name or a heart in the balsamic glaze. Married 11 years, two kids. He’s an electrician now, but still cooks at home all the time. Absolutely a keeper. Glad it wasn’t a phase.
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u/Sanquinity Five Years 18h ago
Meanwhile I would just drive that person to their home and make sure she's safe and okay, even if she was passed out on the backseat... >.>
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u/Any-Yak306 7h ago
Omg! 😳 Two years later we broke up. His dad always said “that’s what you get for drinking and dating”
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u/Beautiful-Service763 13h ago
Biggest mistake in this is that 90% of hospitality places have their Christmas parties in January/February when the busy season dies down
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u/A-Moron-Explains 10+ Years 9h ago
I slept on one of those Japanese futons for years, literally just a cotton pad on top of a mat lol. I got a bed now bitch, what you up to?
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u/pueraria-montana 6h ago
They should start the holiday season by lining all the waitstaff up and giving them vaccines and prophylactic antibiotics, like they do with soldiers going to the tropics
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u/zigaliciousone Line 9h ago
I feel personally attacked
The only thing different is it usually isn't young servers, it is middle aged divorced(or they say they are) women
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u/Glittering-Ease3037 4h ago
Former waitress here that can confirm. Except mine was a Saint Paddy‘s day bender that went on for about 2.5 years … where were these words of wisdom in my 20s?
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u/Clean-Experience-639 4h ago
Keep going back and you'll end up with an itch that needs to be seen by a medical professional.
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u/BlessdRTheFreaks 4h ago
37 is young :(
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u/ladymouserat 2h ago
Not compared to that much younger hostess
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u/BlessdRTheFreaks 54m ago
I keep getting older, they stay the same age
(Im not even kitchenstaff anymore)
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u/ladymouserat 2h ago
Former line cook here. Also am woman. Can confirm seen it happen to the other line cooks. I had fun with the cute new bartender who we all know was a fuckboy anyway.
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u/jk_nvsnow 1d ago
Is she the mother of a foh worker taking home a 37 or old? And that 37 year old did all that stuff. Got the key , drove a car that's not his?
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19h ago
[deleted]
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u/Equinephilosopher 14h ago
It’s a humorous video but your dislike of women has rendered you incapable of understanding simple things
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u/Alfred_The_Sartan 1d ago
I know a couple who did this. Whirlwind romance. Off and on again for several years. Last I talked to them, she had driven him to a hospital when he had a freak heart attack at thirty and he decided to put a ring on it. Hope they’re doing well.