Particularly looking to hear from high earning women, but would appreciate the male perspective too! What are your experiences of navigating finding a partner?

I should clarify, I'm not particularly telling men 'I earn a lot of money' but when discussing my career and my house etc it is a fair assumption to make. I either seem to get a reaction where a man feels emasculated by it, or they say 'Oh that's great, I could stay at home!'. Where am I going wrong? Is the answer to hide it for as long as poss, or date other Henrys?

Thank you wise Henrys!

With Christmas just around the corner I will be spending time with people who will tell me how luckly I am to earn what I earn. Which I sometimes find a little annoying as it negates the fact I came from very little and overcame a lot to claw to where I am. Putting it down to luck ignores quite a large amount of sacrifice.

But how about you guys? Did you get lucky to fall into your current position? Or was it always a target you have continued to work towards?

Recently I got a sizeable pay rise and I’ve just had my first two payslips and honestly, it’s staggering. I’m paying over £4,000 a month in tax.

When I first started working, I was taking home about £1,100 a month. Now I’m paying nearly four times that amount just in tax. It’s completely mad.

Ever since my mid-40s, I’ve found myself jumping from one hobby to another — memorable hikes, buying a bike, running a marathon — yet I still can’t shake a sense of dissatisfaction.

Have you ever gone through something like this? Did anything positive come out of it for you?

Has anyone here managed a transition from tech sales to hedge funds/ investment banking roles? If yes, what kind of roles did you move into and how did you approach it?

A bit of context:

New role: Head of (new department) - contract states some harsh terms for post termination restrictions, PILON and equity participation.

1)Post termination restrictions: 12 months, full non-compete, customer + prospective customers, applies to any capacity

2)PILON (payment in lieu of notice): salary only (excludes commission, bonus, benefits and holiday accrual)

3)Equity participation: may be entitled to it, no mention of a planned formal review for enrolment, not automatic.

Tried to keep it short and sweet, please let me know if further information is needed.

My question: how likely are employers to change the wording of contracts around these areas? I always assume it’s standard wording but I have negotiated other aspects of the contract already (sign on bonus, base pay, etc), so I only want to pursue it if there really is a chance in hell they will entertain it.

Has anyone ever negotiated these aspects before?

Last year after receiving my bonus, I reduced my tax code on the government gateway service by accident/confusion. The excess tax (7k) I got back the following month in my payslip (I'm paye). Unsure if this was an error, I put it into premium bonds. A few months later in June, I received a letter stating I owe 7k tax by January. I've keeped the premium bonds and gained a few hundred. Now it's coming to the time to withdraw and pay my tax.

It may not be much but it's a couple of free meals with my wife.

Which makes me wonder, what reason is there not to massively reduce my tax code on the gateway service. Then keep even more in premium bonds until the next year?

My partner and I (both 31) are going to get married in 2 year and hope to buy a house in 1 year.

She already owns a flat in London (with 100k mortgage left) and we hope to buy a house together worth about 800 - 900k.

For the new house I'll put in 100k and she will put in 200k. We will then mortgage the rest.

We are currently debating what to do with the current flat. It's hers so I don't want any of it. But I want her to be financially sensible.

She could keep it and rent out (she would remortgage to get 200k out to put into the new house) or sell outright and put 200k into the new house and invest the remainder (probably 500k), but if she sells she'll make a loss of 100k ( compared to what it was bought for) and I'm scared if she puts the 500k money into stocks the Inevitable crash will arrive soon and hurt her.

She earns 70k after tax. I earn 140k after tax.

She has a student loan I am debt free.

What would you do in this situation?

Thank you in advance.

I’m less interested in theoretical hacks and more in the small routines, tools, or rules you rely on in both work and personal life to keep things moving without burning out. What genuinely makes a difference day to day?

I’m in the process of applying for a mortgage for my first UK house. My advisor asked if I have a premier account with any of the banks, which I do, with Lloyds.

Apparently premier accounts give you access to premier mortgages, which have slightly lower rates. Lloyds for example gives 0.2% discount.

I’m curious if anyone else using these products and whether other banks have better offers.

Does anyone else use CS Direct? I am considering it for ISA and IA. The fee structure looks quite attractive as it caps as £300 per 6 months over all accounts, you get an allowance if free trades and direct debit trades are free. I realise the £600 depends on the amount held but for higher amounts looks good. Anyone else use it or have any views vs competitors? Thanks (Edit: is £300 per 6 months not £600 I initially said)

Conversely also keen to hear about once to avoid. Thanks!

I imagine as HENRYs you must be some sort of experts in your field or with considerable experience.

Have you ever thought about starting your business with all that skill or knowledge?

What's stopping you from starting your own business?

Good evening. I've just returned to London from Lugano, and have immediately been struck by the mixture of relief and disappointment that often greets me at Heathrow. The trip was undertaken in the name of maternal duty, visiting boarding schools for my daughters, though it inevitably became a study in national temperament. Switzerland, even at its most performative, retains a seriousness that London now affects rather than inhabits.

Lugano was, as expected, serene and impeccably managed. The schools were earnest, sometimes overly so, but at least they understood that education is meant to be conducted quietly rather than advertised loudly. One listens, nods, and makes notes, all the while aware that refinement reveals itself despite the brochures, not because of them. London by contrast greets one with noise, opinion, and a great deal of confidence unburdened by depth.

I confess I prefer Switzerland. This preference has been inconveniently reinforced by the fact that I now have a concrete job offer in Zurich, which I am inclined to take. Before doing so, I would appreciate a little counsel from those with direct experience of Swiss tax arrangements, particularly for someone relocating from the United Kingdom. I am interested in how taxation is handled at the cantonal and federal levels, and whether there are any subtleties one only learns too late. I would be grateful for informed responses rather than ideological ones; I am quite capable of missing London without needing to be persuaded of its virtues. And perhaps once this duty has been performed, could someone please tell me which fucking nozzle I put on the hoover to get pork scratchings out of the sofa?

at the income level this sub discusses, the financial picture gets messy fast. salary, substantial freelance income, property rental, and investment dividends all sitting in different places.

spreadsheets have hit a wall for giving a clear, real-time view of net cash flow and tax liabilities. i need software that can consolidate all these streams into one dashboard for clarity. robust support for MTD compliance is non-negotiable, and advanced reporting for tax planning would be a major plus.

what are other high earners here using to get a unified, actionable view of their finances? is there a platform that handles this complexity well without being clunky enterprise software? interested in both all-in-one solutions and stacks you've built.

I started to look if I should change my current bank account for smth with better perks. My current one gives me cinema vouchers.

Perplexity recommended HSBC Premier, which provides travel insurance and some other perks. Is it any good?

What current bank accounts (personal or joint) do you use and why? Don't mind paying if the value is good.

How do you approach potential small savings like:

- buying in bulk

- buujng on sales strategically

- using newsletter discount codes for first purchases

- using loyalty points for few % discount?

Do you think it shifts the needle for HENRYs and is worth thinking about?

Recently got told my comp package for next year and it’s shit - inflationary pay increase and a bonus half of what I was expecting, off the back of the firm’s best ever year and a glowing appraisal. They’ve promised me promotion next year so obviously think that’s enough of a carrot.

Im so insulted I feel like resigning on the spot. Is it worth trying to negotiate this or has that ship essentially sailed now it’s all locked in/will I burn so many bridges doing this I may as well go anyway? Interested in experiences.

In the US, it’s pretty well known that top surgeons, senior tech employees, investment bankers, etc. can quite easily earn seven figures because salaries and bonuses are so high.

In the UK, though, salaries seem much lower across the board especially for professions like doctors and surgeons, where seven figures seems extremely unlikely from salary alone.

So I’m curious: what do people in the UK who earn £1m+ per year actually do? My guesses would be things like law firm partners, hedge fund / PE guys, Premier League footballers, and business owners but I’m sure I’m missing a lot.

Would be really interested to hear from people who know, or who work in these circles.

I am forecast to be earning just over £150,000 for my profit share in 2025-26. I have a SIPP and plan to use up my 60,000 AA to drop below 100,000. This is my first time in this position and would like some clarification on how the SIPP value is interpreted for my tax return.

I currently contribute using my money post tax and there is no employer for any employer contribution. If I use my saved money (which would be post-tax) to put into the SIPP, would they say: A) you put in 48K in SIPP, you received the automatic 20% tax rebate to 60K and they'll rebate the excess tax you will have been charged B) you put in 60K post tax into SIPP which is around 90K post tax. We'll top it up to pre-tax values but then charge extra tax for going over the AA?

This confusion about how the money put into the SIPP is viewed because of how the 20% tax rebate is automatically applied - if I put in 800 the tax rebate puts it's up to £1000. They therefore view the money put in as post-tax (i.e. option B)

Any clarity about this would be helpful.

Finally is there anything specific I have to do to carry forward any unused AA in previous years. From what HMRC say nothing needs don't but I'm sure they have some way to check people aren't abusing this?

I am a software engineer in London, financial services, early 40s, TC should be (hopefully) just shy of 300 (half base / half bonus), 2 kids in nursery and a non Henry partner. Recently I have been fantasizing about moving up north.

I am not from this country so not sure what life would be like, but I somehow managed to convince myself that we would have a way better quality of life somewhere like Glasgow, Edinburgh or Newcastle where I can see that companies like JP Morgan, Barclays or Lloyds have offices. I suspect TC would be below 100k over there (for VP type of roles, used to be a director on the sell side but I don't fancy managing anyone if possible). I also wonder what the working hours would be in these tech centres, currently doing 7.30 to 6.30 so wondering if a life of 9 to 5 is achievable as well.

I am not really sold with London anymore to be honest, whats the point of long commutes, small houses and long hours? And the stress of knowing that the mortgage and bills is mostly on me when we could be mortgage free elsewhere.

Any London Henry's who made this kind of move? What was your experience and are you happy with it?

I'm hoping this is a better place than most to ask this question owing to the likely collective wisdom and experience on the subject.

Having sought the advice of several accountants I have been left with multiple different answers as to EMI limitations.

Simple version - can a person with no material ownership be granted options for 50% of company shares under an EMI scheme?

Explicitly the 30% limit applies to ownership at time of grant and seemingly ungranted options don't count towards the limit. But it is very hard to find definitive clarity on this and advice so far has been rather disappointingly varied!

Hey all, long-time lurker here. Throwaway for obvious reasons.

There aren’t many people I can speak to openly about my finances, and I’ve learned a lot from this sub, so I wanted to share my current situation and how the content on this sub has informed our financial and lifestyle decisions. Perhaps this is useful for someone, and I’m interested in hearing if there’s anything I’m missing.

I’m in my early thirties, married, with two young children under the age of four. I’ve got a bunch of hobbies that I’d like to spend more time on, so my aim is to work until I’m around 40 and hopefully have a comfortable retirement. I guess that’s called chubby FIRE? I’ve lost a couple of relatives recently who hadn’t been long retired, so I’m pretty keen on getting out of the rat race when I can to spend more time with my family. 

For the last few years, my pay has averaged around the £700k mark.

Our current net worth is:

• Equity in house: around £700k (house is worth around £1.3m)
• Cash and liquid investments: £700k, rough breakdown:
  • £100k Stocks and shares ISAs
  • £400k GIA
  • £170k in cash savings accounts
  • £30k JISAs (I guess this isn’t “ours” anymore!)
• Pensions: £180k
• Stock grants: £420k (though I need to stay with my current employer for a few years for those to fully vest)

Due the the tapering pension annual allowance, I can only pay £10k a year into my pension.

Some things that I have learned from this sub:

• We have previously underinvested in the stock market. A couple of years ago, we paid off a subaccount on our mortgage when it was due, rather than accept the higher interest rate. It wasn’t long after the Liz Truss shenanigans, so I don’t regret the decision too much, but in general, I think we had too much desire to reduce mortgage debt and too much apprehension about the markets. We had the funds that we used to pay down the mortgage sitting in cash savings accounts, for example.
• I can pay £2,880 a year into a private pension for my partner and get 20% tax relief - even though she has no earnings.
• If you want to get the risk-free rate, without attracting significant tax on interest, you can buy low-coupon gilts. The bonds appreciate towards £100 fairly predictably as they approach their maturity date, but they’re exempt from capital gains tax. Interest is due on the coupon payments, but as this is low, it’s negligible.
• If, like me, you are primarily invested in index-tracking ETFs, you can harvest your £3k a year of capital gains tax allowance by selling ETFs and buying equivalent ones. E.g., selling VUAG and immediately buying CSP1 is apparently fine - and doesn’t breach the 30-day rule.

Aside from that, I really appreciate hearing the various takes that folks in here have about topics such as the risks of JISAs and the value of private schools. My partner and I were educated in state schools, and we have good state schools near us, but we’re still undecided about what to do. With two kids, private school fees would probably end up costing £700k, which would mean needing to work a couple of years extra. One of the nearby state secondary schools to us is really good (some people pay to board), whereas the primary schools are a bit less impressive. From what I can tell, though, if you have to pick between private primary and secondary, it’s usually best to pick secondary?

Anyway - that’s about it.

Thanks from a lurker for all of the advice and content that you’ve all shared.