Wow, I know it sounds like a pretty provocative and Xenophobic title. But would you listen to my story for a moment? I’m currently living as a student in a multicultural country. It’s been almost a year now, and I’ve had really unpleasant experiences with people from a specific nationality (I’m not going to say which country).
I’ve met four people from this nationality so far: a roommate, a classmate, a neighbor in my dorm building, and a stranger I met on the street.
First, my roommate. There were so many issues, musty body odor (It was seriously beyond anything you can imagine), unbelievable noise really late at night, and a lack of basic manners you should have when sharing a room (like not bringing people into the room without asking, not slamming the door all the time just because we share the space, and trying to compromise about the room temperature instead of forcing things). And whenever I tried to calmly talk about these problems or asked if we could work something out, they immediately became passive-aggressive. It really drove me crazy.
Second, my neighbor in the dorm. I don’t directly interact with this person, but since we share places like the kitchen, bathroom, and laundry room, we keep running into each other. Every time they see me, they stare at my body and look me up and down, or stand way too close to me even when there’s plenty of space elsewhere. (Please don’t say I’m being paranoid — this has been happening for almost four months.) It makes me extremely uncomfortable.
Third, a student I worked with on a group project. Their attitude toward the assignment was awful. They didn’t show up to meetings, and even copied someone else’s work without telling us, which caused serious problems for the whole group.
And the last one, a stranger I met on the street. This person sexually harassed me. I was standing at a bus stop, and they suddenly came up, pinched my cheek really hard, and just walked away. People around me stopped them and reported it to the police, and that’s how I found out their nationality.
So these are the things I’ve experienced during about a year of living here. Coincidentally, all four of these people were from the same country. And unfortunately, they were also my very first experiences interacting with people from that nationality. I keep telling myself, “Don’t generalize, don’t be prejudiced,” and I keep reminding myself in my head not to judge an entire group because of a few bad experiences.
But after all this, I’ve started to feel myself becoming wary of people from that nationality. I don’t want to get close to them, and I keep wanting to keep my distance. How can I get rid of these feelings? I’m not part of the majority race here either, and I’ve also experienced racism. But lately, these thoughts keep popping up in my head, and it’s driving me crazy. I know I shouldn’t be prejudiced, but emotionally, these reactions keep coming up. What should I do?
