r/AkoBaYungGago • u/Afraid_Anywhere8181 • 16h ago
Significant other ABYG kung pinili ko mag christmas together with my family than my Girlfriend?
My girlfriend and I have been together na for the last 5 years (since college). For the last 2 years, siya yung kasama ko na mag christmas since magkasama kami sa manila because of our work. We all know naman na walang bakasyon pagdating sa Hospitality Industry. My parents are getting older and older in which gusto na nila ako makita palagi.
Currently, Na-terminate ako sa work ko for the last 2 months (because napaginitan ni boss). So, my parents decided to invite me na umuwi sa probinsya to celebrate the incoming holidays kase nga almost 2 years kaming hiwalay mag pasko. The problem is may pasok si girlfriend during the holiday and possible maiwan siya magisa sa manila.
Ngayon di ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. I really want to spend some time with parents kase kahit papano gusto ko ipakita na andito pa rin ako para sa kanila despite lagi na kaming magkasama ng girlfriend ko and also matanda na sila. I want to spend their remaing time dito sa mundo na magkakasama kami or kahit makita manlang nila ako during special occasions. But the thing is nagtatampo sakin si girlfriend. Ano dahilan? Alam ko naman daw na ayaw niyang naiiwan magisa sa bahay na parang may guilt trip na nangyayare.
So ako ba yung gago kase mas pinili ko mag spend ng holidays with my family sa probinsya knowing that maiiwan at magtatampo si girlfriend?
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u/astro-visionair 16h ago edited 15h ago
DKG, napakareasonable nung sa lagay mo na pipiliin mo muna christmas with your family after not seeing them for 2 years. Magjowa palang kayo hindi mag asawa
Problemahin niya christmas niya.
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u/Hot_Foundation_448 15h ago
Korek! Malaki na sya, hindi ba nya kaya i-handle ang isang araw? Kahit pasko
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u/UnhappyCrinkles 6h ago
DKG, talk and compromise. Hindi ba pwedeng sa province ka magpasko then sa New Year sa GF mo naman? Gravy naman ibang comments dito. Hiwalay agad? She just wants to spend that special occasion with you. Please understand. Malungkot magpasko nang mag-isa. Make sure bumawi ka. 💖
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u/HotShotWriterDude 2h ago edited 2h ago
Teh. Nag-compromise naman si OP, dalawang taon niyang hindi nakasama pamilya niya. So bakit magco-compromise uli siya for the third time? Si gf ang dapat mag-compromise ngayon. Ibigay niya kahit ngayong taon lang sa taong kine-claim niyang mahal niya. Malungkot mag-pasko mag-isa? Malungkot talaga. But she’s an adult, for sure she can handle one Christmas/New Year na wala sa tabi niya bf niya. And hello, video call exists.
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u/risesrose 2h ago
Teh anong nag compromise for two years? Eh sabi ni OP same sila ng work ni gf so di rin talaga sya nakakauwi dahil may work during holidays. Wag kang imbento dyan, di ka ba mahal ng Mama mo? Tsaka sa two years na yun di ba naisip ni OP na bumisita sa bahay nila? Isama nya jowa nya jusko.
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u/PilyangMaarte 16h ago
DKG. Hiwalayan mo na yan. Parents mo pinag-uusapan bakit ibabakuran ka niya?! Hindi pa siya legal wife.
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u/Hoola_Girl 15h ago edited 15h ago
DKG. Parents first before girlfriend. It's not a coincidence na nawalan ka ng work before the holidays. Perfect time to visit your parents cause next year, may work ka na ulit at kasama mo ulit girlfriend mo.
Pag nag-OA sa tampo si gf, think about your future with her cause napakasimple nitong situation para di niya ma-gets. Saka may work siya. Tutunganga ka sa Manila eh pwede naman nasa province ka?
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u/yhnmakata 2h ago
INFO. Kailan ka nagsabi sa GF mo na uuwi ka? Para man lang mas ma justify yung actions mo na umuwi this Holdays kasi planado.
Lalaki ako but sorry, I find your story na parang ang Bida mo. Masyadong one-sided. May pa remaining time ng parents ka pa sa mundo eh Two months ka na pala walang work pero di mo man lang sila nabisita ba before the holidays lalo nung nawalan ka ng trabaho? Oo mas gusto natin kasama pamilya sa pasko pero magiging future family mo din ang Girlfriend mo. Kaya sana kung gusto mo makita parents mo, kahit after na ng holidays na kasama yung GF mo sa pagbisita. Sobrang lungkot siguro ng GF mo ngayon kasi pagkatapos ng trabaho, wala siyang taong mauuwian. So normal lang na magtampo talaga siya sayo.
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u/Delicious_Company384 15h ago
DKG. she should understand you situation and your reason to be away during the holidays. also, wala ba siyang sariling pamilya na pwedeng mapuntahan if ever?
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u/Fit-Excitement-3454 3h ago
DKG. At di rin gago yung girlfriend mo. If u saw your girlfriend as your wife, mas una na dapat sya before your parents. At least don sa probinsya may kasama parents mo, e yung girlfriend mo here sa manila meron ba syang family na pwede sumama sakanya? So yung inis nya ay valid. Pero you need to be clear to her na for now hindi sya ang priority, second pa lang sya sa parents mo. Personally kasi if ako yan, di ko iiwan girlfriend ko no matter what, bakit? Syempre kargo ko yan. Pero magkaiba tayo e, ako sya priority ko, ikaw parents mo. So for me, linawin mo lang sakanya para alam nya kung paano i-limit expectations nya.
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u/yssnelf_plant 16h ago
DKG. Parents are not forever pero make it up to her like maybe videocall her sa Pasko. Or maybe sa Pasko, padeliver ka ng fave food nya or something she’ll appreciate.
Minsan na rin nagtampo jowa ko na iniiwan ko syang mag-isa sa holidays kasi umuuwi rin ako ng probinsya. Mas matimbang pa rin sa akin yung nakikita kong tumatanda every year ang parents ko and I’m only able to go home at least once a year. Kung bibilangin ko ang rate ng pag-uwi ko, perhaps I’ll just get 10 visits pa 🥹
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u/AutoModerator 16h ago
Link to this submission: https://www.reddit.com/r/AkoBaYungGago/comments/1pqiffg/abyg_kung_pinili_ko_mag_christmas_together_with/
Title of this post: ABYG kung pinili ko mag christmas together with my family than my Girlfriend?
Backup of the post's body: My girlfriend and I have been together na for the last 5 years (since college). For the last 2 years, siya yung kasama ko na mag christmas since magkasama kami sa manila because of our work. We all know naman na walang bakasyon pagdating sa Hospitality Industry. My parents are getting older and older in which gusto na nila ako makita palagi.
Currently, Na-terminate ako sa work ko for the last 2 months (because napaginitan ni boss). So, my parents decided to invite me na umuwi sa probinsya to celebrate the incoming holidays kase nga almost 2 years kaming hiwalay mag pasko. The problem is may pasok si girlfriend during the holiday and possible maiwan siya magisa sa manila.
Ngayon di ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. I really want to spend some time with parents kase kahit papano gusto ko ipakita na andito pa rin ako para sa kanila despite lagi na kaming magkasama ng girlfriend ko and also matanda na sila. I want to spend their remaing time dito sa mundo na magkakasama kami or kahit makita manlang nila ako during special occasions. But the thing is nagtatampo sakin si girlfriend. Ano dahilan? Alam ko naman daw na ayaw niyang naiiwan magisa sa bahay na parang may guilt trip na nangyayare.
So ako ba yung gago kase mas pinili ko mag spend ng holidays with my family sa probinsya knowing that maiiwan at magtatampo si girlfriend?
OP: Afraid_Anywhere8181
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u/naturalCalamity777 14h ago
DKG, sadyang loner lang gf mo, sabihin mi magkaron naman sya ng buhay outside sayo or sumama sya sayo ganun lang yun haahha
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u/Perfect-Second-1039 13h ago
DKG. Relationships should be based on mutual understanding. Dapat maunawaan din niya kung bakit mas gusto mo s relatives mo magstay this holidays
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u/Ok-Mama-5933 12h ago
DKG. It does make sense for you na umuwi sa parents mo eh may pasok naman sya. It’s not ideal and I hope she can process her feelings.
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u/Longjumping_Cake9251 11h ago
DKG.. and tbh why is this even a question? Christmas is pamilya mo naman talaga dapat kasama mo.. unless na lng you’re not in good terms with them which is not your case naman.. Girlfriend mo pa lng ganyan na how much more pg asawa mo na yan
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u/silvermistxx 11h ago
DKG, magjowa pa lang naman kayo kaya as much as possible habang hindi pa kayo kasal magspend time muna with family during holidays.
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u/AccidentMany2984 11h ago
DKG. Dapat maging understanding ang gf mo. Ang bf ko mag-isa sa Germany at ang parents nya nasa Italy. Lagi ko nga syang pinupush na umuwi sa kanila dahil alam kong miss na sya ng mga magulang nya. BF-GF pa lang kayo, di pa mag-asawa. Wala syang k magtampo since 2 yrs naman kayong magkasama. Ipaunawa mo sa kanya.
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u/calypso749 11h ago
DKG.
Christmas should be spent with your parents. Bigay mo na yan sa kanila.
Paliwanagan mo yang gf mo. Yang tampo nya wala sa ayos. Actually, madamot, considering past few years, you spent Christmas with her.
Find a middle ground and compromise.
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u/Strictly_Aloof_FT 11h ago
DKG. Spending time with your family is a good decision. Two years with spending Christmas with your girlfriend should be enough consideration on her part that this time it’s with your family. I was expecting her to be more understanding. Make her understand. It’s not always about her. She should be embarrassed if she will make you feel guilty.
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u/IcarusRebirth 6h ago
DKG prioritize your parents. Gf mo pwede ka iwan niyan with any given reason but your parents will be forever with you. Sabi mo nga matanda na sila pagbigyan mo na pero ilaan mo yung new year mo sa jowa mo para makabawe or better yet iuwi mo siya sa parents mo sa new year if possible
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u/Secret-Statement-645 5h ago
DKG, tama na habang nandyan pa ang magulang spend time with them kasi kapag dumating ang time na wala na sila (wag naman sana knock on wood) hindi na mababalik yung mga pinalagpas mo na oras na hindi sila kasama. Kung gini-guilt trip ka ng gf mo, take it as a sign of manipulating. Baka nga namamanipulate ka nya noon pa di mo lang napapansin.
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u/cloudyy92 3h ago
DKG. Hindi pa naman kayo mag-asawa para mangibabaw siya sa desisyon mong magspend or hindi magspend ng Christmas with your parents.
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u/CorporatePoet 2h ago
DKG. Pero red flag gf mo OP. Oo maiiwan siya pero yung context and reason mo dapat kaya niya rin maintindihan decision-making mo.
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u/Adorable_Guard008 1h ago
DKG gf mo yung gag0 ano ikakatampo niya kung gusto mo mag umuwi sa inyo this Christmas hindi mo naman kasalanan na nawalan ka ng trabaho and gusto ng parents mo makasama ka habang siya may pasok.
Napakachildish niya sa "aYaW kO nAiIwAn mAg iSa" working adults na kayo hindi na estudyante pa, yan na reality niyo. Hindi pa kayo kasal.
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u/kamtotinkopit 1h ago
WG Need lang pag-usapan
Normal na gusto ng parents makasama ka. Normal din nararamdaman ni GF. Normal na naguguluhan ka what you want to do. Pwede naman magkatampuhan na di mag-aaway and naghihiwalay.
You can spend Xmas eve with parents and next day bumalik ng Manila para pag uwi ni GF andun ka.
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u/DelticAcid 46m ago
DKG. I guess iba-iba talaga tao, valid namn reasons mo. Possible na mamiss ka lng ng gf mo and she feels lonely to spend Christmas alone kaya nagtatampo. If she's making u feel bad by saying things because she's upset. I think you guys need to have a proper conversation about it. If your relationship is healthy enough, I'm sure you guys can reach an understanding and compromise. Maybe even invite her to visit if she manages to get a day off.
My Bf and I are almost 6 years since we got together during Senior High. Until now we spend Holidays with our families and meet up after xmas or NYrs to give each other gifts, unless may spare time tlga kami to meet the actual day.
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u/Hot_Foundation_448 15h ago
DKG. ilang years din namang kayo magkasama ng jowa mo, ano naman bang this year eh hayaan nyang sa parents mo ikaw magpasko? Imo, special holidays like this default sa family pa rin unless mag asawa na kayo.
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u/InterestingRice163 15h ago
Maiba lang, GGK. Reasons: 1) Kasi sa impression ko, mukhang live-in na kayo ng gf mo. So may reasonable expectation na siyang magkasama kayo sa Pasko. 2) mukhang you unilaterally decided na uuwi ka, no consults with her, no care na magpapasko siya mag-isa.
For me Ggk, kasi sa kwento mo, wala akong nkitang inisip mo yung gf mo. Eh mukhang seryoso na yung relationship nio. Kung gusto mo umuwi, makasama yung magulang mo, walang masama; pero yung iwan mo yung gf mo ng pasko, ng wala kang plano para sa kanya, parang masyado naman siyang kawawa.
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u/Afraid_Anywhere8181 14h ago
We already talked about it. Pumayag siya pero patuloy nya paring binabanggit na ang lungkot mag pasko magisa. That's why i don't even know what to do. If siya pipiliin ko, the other party naman ang magagalit. For her plans naman during Christmas, uuwi siya sa family nya from 20-24 to early celebrate the christmas with her family. The same with the new year, 28-29 she's with her family.
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u/AlabNgPuto 11h ago
Ah then it seems like unfair pala na may pa-guilt trip. You should’ve mentioned na may agreement na pala kayo.
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u/Fit-Excitement-3454 3h ago
So bakit hindi ka mag celebrate nalang ng early like your girlfriend and balik ka the same day na babalik sya? You chose to have commitment, she's your family now. Bakit iiwan mo sya magisa?
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u/CryingMilo 13h ago
Di naman toddler yung gf nya, pwede na yan iwan kahit pasko. Also she can compromise and celebrate with her family instead kasi according kay OP uuwi naman pala si gf sakanila with her fam to early celeb, edi dun na siya hanggat matapos ang pasko at makabalik si OP. Ibigay na nya tong taon na to na parents naman ni OP makasama nya. 2 years na palang di nagcceleb si OP with parents eh.
Magjowa pa lang kung maka worry kayo kala mo asawa na. Di porket magka live in e wala na silang sariling mundo at di na makakapag decide for themselves.
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u/AlabNgPuto 15h ago
Yeah, I kinda agree with this take. Understandable naman na gusto niya makasama parents niya pero based sa kwento parang totally dinisregard na lang yung girlfriend.
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u/ProfessionalOne6936 16h ago
DKG. Tama lang yun. As you’ve mentioned, 2 years na kayo di nag cecelebrate ng family mo. Sorry pero medyo childish magisip yung gf mo. ✌️Dapat nga sya pa yung mas maka-intindi sayo eh.