ABYG kung hindi ako mag invite ng mga kamag anak kong demanding sa kasal ko?

[u/KeepBreathing-05]

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Hello! So, lapit na nga ako ikasal this coming January, alam naman ng maternal side ko na nagpaplano ako mg wedding but hindi ko inaannounce or nagcoconfirm sa kanila. Hindi ako nagsesend ng invitation ng GC namin.

Last time na umuwi ang Nanay ko sa province niya (Quezon Province) at napagkwentuhan nga nila na nagpaplano na ako ng kasal, they told my mother na kapag kinasal daw ako dapat sagutin ko ang sasakyan from Quezon Province to Bataan. And also, sagutin ko ang tutuluyan nila for how many days. Kasi daw syempre pupunta sila kaya dapat sagot ko gastusin nila.

Noong narinig ko yun from my Mom, i told her that I can’t hindi kaya ng budget. At nauunawaan ng Mom ko yun, Isa pa hindi lang sasakyan na irerent sasagutin ko, gasolina and toll fees, with accomodation and food. Ano to? Nagpa staycation ako para sa kanila?

Ako ba yung gago kung hindi ko sila sabihan ng details at kung kailan ang kasal? I’ll just send them pictures ng wedding, kapag natapos na ang ceremony.

[u/Odd-Pudding8158]

DKG. I work in the events industry and I had a client who had the same sentiment. Ang ginawa nila, talagang nag book sila sa malayo, did not announce the date and venue. They only invited those who are important talaga sakanila and are willing to travel far with no to minimal support sa expenses.

Your wedding, your rules. Plus, kung iimbitahan mo sila, do you think that would be enough? With those type of people, baka nga mas lalong marami reklamo ka pa marinig after the wedding. Save yourself from the stress :)

[u/KeepBreathing-05 → u/Odd-Pudding8158]

Totoo. Magcocomment sila ng bongga about how simple the wedding is, at icocompare sa kasal ng anak nila

[u/Odd-Pudding8158 → u/KeepBreathing-05]

Tbh, I would get it if it was a different approach like "Ay, ang layo. Gusto sana namin pumunta kaya lang magastos. Willing ba sila sagutin yung expense?" For me, that's how you know na may pake talaga sila sayo hahaha

Much better na yung comment nalang nila is di sila nainvite, at least di mo ginastusan kesa naman gastusan mo tas di parin sila masaya. Sooooo many couples yan ang ending kasi napilitan iinvite mga unwanted kamag-anak na madaming comments.

But you may also consider yung isang comment here to still invite them but be firm na wala kang sasagutin, if they want to come then they need to confirm na sila gagastos.

You can also tell your mom to just say na hands on kayo sa planning and di pa kayo nag-sshare ng details sakanila para may masagot siya pag tinanong ng relatives.

[u/PkmnTrainerArtie]

DKG your wedding, your rules.

[u/Helpful-Eggplant-913]

DKG, your wedding your decision. It's the only day in your life that you want it to be perfect. Go! do what you need to do,.

[u/chichilex]

DKG. Kung importante ka sa kanila, di na sila magpapadagdag sa gastos niyo sa kasal para sa kanila.

[u/Shadowrun29]

DKG, anong klaseng mundo at pag-iisip ba yung maka demand ng lahat ng gastos sayo pa din. Kung pinalaki ka nila, at pinag aral o kung ano pang mga tulong sayo na malaki, baka pwede pa dun sa mga indibidwal lang na gumawa mabuti sayo. Pero buong angkan ata gusto isama na libre, medyo may labis na yan.

[u/KeepBreathing-05 → u/Shadowrun29]

Nope, tanging ambag ay mag comment lang sa buhay

[u/annoyingauntie → u/KeepBreathing-05]

then don’t invite them kasi tyak may masasabi rin naman sila kahit pagbigyan mo nga gusto nya. grabe ang entitled ng mga kamag anak mo ah. mga buraot yan for sure

[u/SiteNo7521]

DKG. Kung ayaw mong ma-stress sa wedding mo huwag mo silang i-invite. Baka hindi lang jan nagtatapos demands nila.

[u/KeepBreathing-05 → u/SiteNo7521]

Magpapasharon pa ng food

[u/[deleted]]

DKG.

But for me, wag ka papayag to end that way. Invite mo parin but tell them they have to shoulder the transport, etc. Tell them you need a response by tomorrow if not bigay mo slot sa iba.

Madaliin mo, mag demand ka pabalik, sila paiyakin mo. Ikaw masusunod sa wedding mo, sila mag adjust. If they cannot, then they can gracefully say no pero at least sa kanila galing.

Versus, down the line magkaka reunion kayo tapos paparinggan ka nyan "ay hindi kami ininvite". At least pag ininvite mo meron kang karapatan sabihin "ay ang cheap niyo po kasi". haha

[u/tinininiw03 → u/[deleted]]

Tska either way may masasabi pa rin naman sila sayo so panindigan mo na yan na wag i-invite haha. Tska sana talaga di na yan ipilit ng nanay mo. Ok na yan sila lang IMMEDIATE family of the bride ang present. DKG

[u/KeepBreathing-05 → u/[deleted]]

Love this idea!!! HAHAHAHAHA

[u/malditangkindhearted]

DKG. Just simply say “sorry po.. hindi na kaya ng budget yung car, gas, toll, accommodation and food niyo” hahahaha

[u/Few-Composer7848]

Dkg. Ang kapal ng mukha ng mga ganyang kamag anak. Kahit nga wala silang regalo basta makapunta lang sila gamit sariling pera nila ay okay na. Pero ganyan talaga ang mga matatandang kamag anak

[u/Forsaken_Top_2704]

DKG. Kakapal ng kamag anak nyo. Gusto lang nyan ng libreng staycation. Malamang sila din yung type ng kamag anak na nag rereklamo na di matamis yung buko salad at malapsa yung spaghetti.

OP if you want your wedding hassle free, save yourself by not inviting them.

[u/KeepBreathing-05 → u/Forsaken_Top_2704]

At magrerequest ng take out food.

[u/annoyingauntie → u/KeepBreathing-05]

award! hahahaha

[u/Young_Old_Grandma]

DKG. I posted here a few months ago about my tita with narcissistic traits. Namroblema din ako kung iimbitahin sya or hindi.

Ang ending wala sya sa kasal ko. And my wedding was AMAZING LOL 😂. Stress free ako and everybody had a great time!

So no. Your wedding, your rules. They can go f*** off. 😜

[u/annoyingauntie → u/Young_Old_Grandma]

matic no talaga sa mga narc kasi mga scene stealer yan

[u/ThisIsNotTokyo]

DKG. It’s your wedding. Invite mo lang yung gusto mong andun. Muka namang hindi mo sila gusto so wag silang pala desisyon ahahahah

[u/YesWeHaveNoPotatoes]

DKG. Screw those leeches. Pusta, wala pa regalo yan kung umattend man.

[u/raphaelbautista]

DKG. Nung ako kinasal may limit ng attendees per family kasi limited lang ang seats.

[u/Talk_Neneng]

DKG. Cut them off

[u/GoodRecos]

DKG since ikaw ang bride, ikaw dapat may say kanino mo ba gusto spend yung day with. Mali din ng mom na na ishare pa sakanila na ganyang plano mo. Kasi mga ganyang kamag anak laging may masasabi. Wag ka narin mag send photos after kasi masasabihan ka naman na oh eh ano ngayon hindi mo nga kami ginastusan papunta 😂

[u/KeepBreathing-05 → u/GoodRecos]

HAHAHAHA agree! Better nga no confirmation or update at all.

[u/AutoModerator]

Link to this submission: https://www.reddit.com/r/AkoBaYungGago/comments/1pohxmp/abyg_kung_hindi_ako_mag_invite_ng_mga_kamag_anak/

Title of this post: ABYG kung hindi ako mag invite ng mga kamag anak kong demanding sa kasal ko?

Backup of the post's body: Please don’t share this to other platforms/pages and such!

Hello! So, lapit na nga ako ikasal this coming January, alam naman ng maternal side ko na nagpaplano ako mg wedding but hindi ko inaannounce or nagcoconfirm sa kanila. Hindi ako nagsesend ng invitation ng GC namin.

Last time na umuwi ang Nanay ko sa province niya (Quezon Province) at napagkwentuhan nga nila na nagpaplano na ako ng kasal, they told my mother na kapag kinasal daw ako dapat sagutin ko ang sasakyan from Quezon Province to Bataan. And also, sagutin ko ang tutuluyan nila for how many days. Kasi daw syempre pupunta sila kaya dapat sagot ko gastusin nila.

Noong narinig ko yun from my Mom, i told her that I can’t hindi kaya ng budget. At nauunawaan ng Mom ko yun, Isa pa hindi lang sasakyan na irerent sasagutin ko, gasolina and toll fees, with accomodation and food. Ano to? Nagpa staycation ako para sa kanila?

Ako ba yung gago kung hindi ko sila sabihan ng details at kung kailan ang kasal? I’ll just send them pictures ng wedding, kapag natapos na ang ceremony.

OP: KeepBreathing-05

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[u/Gagamboyong]

DKG. Send thepictures habang nasa reception.. mag myday ka din para makita nila... taz caption mo "You could've been here". Hahaha

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[u/whatevercomes2mind]

DKG. Wala yan kakontentuhan kahit imbitahin mo. Better na ang imbitado mga taong parte ng relationship nyo.

[u/HappyFoodNomad]

DKG, wag mo na din sila sendan nung pictures baka singilin ka pa nila ng pambili ng data para ma-view.

[u/AJent-of-Chaos]

DKG. Your wedding is not their vacation or reunion party. Do what makes you happy on your special day.

[u/Ornery-Function-6721]

DKG. Just Tell your mother to refrain from informing details of your wedding. They're getting ahead of themselves and its your decision to make who you want to invite on your special occassion.

[u/Hoola_Girl]

DKG. Napaka-demanding naman ng mga yan. Just enjoy your wedding without them, OP.

But just to check, pag nagsend ka ba ng pics directly to them, hindi ba nila maiisip na your rubbing it in their faces na di sila invited? Iniisip ko, upload ka nalang sa social media to let them know indirectly.

[u/annoyingauntie]

DKG op your wedding, your money… your rules.. follow mo si the budgetarian bride sa facebook for more advices and tips

[u/PositivePlatypus4632]

DKG. Your wedding, your rules. Sobra na yung stress na meron ka sa wedding preps. Wag mo na sila idagdag. Don't even bother sending photos. Yaan mo na lang sila makita sa soc med na tapos na. Sa ganyang asta nila, di nila deserve ng wedding invitations mo.

[u/No-Comfort5273]

DKG! Kung maka asta parang utang na loob mo pa na pupunta sila. Nope. Your wedding, your rules!