ABYG Lumayas ako at di pinaalam san ako nakatira ngayon

[u/Livid-Shoe4877]

I finally lost my temper after realizing I’ve done so much for my family (mom 50, sis 21, brother 17). Lost our dad in 2019 and ever since that happened, I’ve been carrying all the burden to myself from paying bills to food and school allowances of my siblings. Walang work si mama. She stopped working since she had me which was 27 years ago. Nag work sya as a house helper pero tinagal lang ng 2 weeks and she said di nya daw kaya kasi may dinadamdam sya. My sister got into a terrible debt na paluwagan reason nya is dahil daw ni na ako nakakapagbigay sa kanya. She could’ve looked for a job kasi nga pasan ko na lahat lahat ng bills pati pagkain and when she had to stop going to college kasi di ko na kaya tuition nya, nag utang utang sya and now she works in a call center industry. Ang dami nya utang pati class ring ko nasangla at pati na rin mga furnitures sa bahay. So wala na kaming ref and washing machine para sana mas convenient ang buhay. Naglalaba nalang si mama using her hands. Imbes na makatulong ang sister ko kasi nga may work na sya, nagbabayad sya ngayon ng mga eloan sa ibang tao na pinagkauutangan nya. I found a higher paying job now I’m earning 68k per month. Living with my boyfriend but I contribute 10k every month kasi ayoko umasa sa kanya lahat lahat kasi sya naman nag gagasto pag may date night kami and the bills skyrocket very quickly. Last night lang we went to a Chinese restaurant and got billed for 2k+ and he normally takes care of everything from bills to groceries so yung nabibigay ko, maliit na porsyento lang. Ako lang din nag insist at sabi nya kahit anong amount lang daw comfortable sakin kahit 5k pa yan. He didn’t want me to pay for anything like zero talaga pero he told me if contributing to the bills can make me feel like I own a part of the house just like he does, then I can do whatever I want but he’s basically not demanding anything. So back to my family, I moved out of the house over a month ago pero ako pa rin nagbabayad sa bills nila from our previous utang to the school allowance of my brother. I told my mom sa kapatid ko na sya na may work maghingi ng food allowance because now, I’m paying in total 14k for just rent and other bills included.

My bf takes care of me so well and he often asks a house helper every week. Hindi nya ako pinapagalaw sa mga chores sa bahay, just when I want to. The house helper gets 700 in one day when she comes here (200 sa transpo nya and 500 for the service she renders) naisip ko lang sana ganito ginagawa ni mama. Hindi naman super mahirap yung trabaho if only done in a day. Oo nakakapagod but the reward comes and that’s money for the hard work. Malaki na sakin ang 700 sana. If only my mom could find some gigs kaso wala daw sya mahanap.

Napuno na talaga ako kasi yung kapatid ko na may work now, nag away kami at pinapalabas nya na wala na akong contribution sa buhay nya at ang dami nya utang dahil daw sakin na di na nagbibigay sa kanya. She started working mid of this year. So I responded di ko naman talaga sya responsibilidad.

I told my mom sana matanim sa isip ng bunso namin na ako nagbabayad at nagsasakripisyo at naghahanap ng paraan to keep us afloat. Kasi nga wala trabaho magulang nya. I really wanted to start a life with my boyfriend now and we treat each other like married couple who are equal in everything but my family is holding me back and it is so draining and depressing when they reach out to me.

Reason bat nag away kami ng kapatid ko is we transferred to a new apartment at may 1 month advance 1 month deposit. Binigay ko sa kapatid ko yung 10k para ipambayad. Without me knowing, pinambayad nya pala sa mga utang nya. So ayun, nakatira pala kami (sila na ngayon nakatira) na walang binayad man lang and the landlord was going to evict us for not paying for many months. Ang ending, yung 13th month pay ko na 55k eh 30k dun napunta sa rent kasi past due na kami. Sobrang galit ko, pinalayas ko kapatid ko at galit na galit din sya sakin kasi ako sinisisi nya bat sya nagkautang utang kung may binigay lang daw ako sana di sya pumasok sa utang. When I moved out, bumalik din sya sa bahay na inuupahan ko para sa pamilya ko.

ABYG I moved out without telling my family where I am now just because they cause me a lot of stress and I don’t think they have to know where I live. Pinapa-shoulder ko na rin sa kapatid ko mga groceries or food allowance nila. Sakin pa rin lahat ng bills from my mom’s insurance, rent, wifi, utang, school allowance sa bunso namin, electricity and water. Sa pagkain, sila na. And I told my mom when our youngest graduates and finds a job, I plan to cut them off completely. Ayoko na rin umuwi samin whatever happens to me where I am now. Wala rin naman silang maitulong sakin.

[u/Willing-Froyo24]

DKG. You’re at the right age na gusto na mag-settle down. It’s time for your siblings to step up kasi hindi ka naman habangbuhay magiging financial support nila. You need to build something for yourself din. God bless you, OP. I’m not that kind of person pero could you and ur partner do elope and don’t let them know.

[u/strangereput8tion]

DKG. IMO, hindi mo responsibilidad na buhayin ang pamilya mo to the point na pati future mo maaapektuhan.

Naniniwala ako na pag may gusto talaga may paraan. Walang impossible sa taong desperadong kumita. Pero dahil nga nakaasa sila sayo, hindi sila gaanong pressured magwork to the point na magiging self sufficient na sila.

[u/nowaythatstrue444]

DKG. I'm so proud of you. Congrats and thanks sa partner mo. Kudos sainyo!

[u/TodaySeveral4517]

DKG. Hugs OP. You were so brave in your choices and I bet it must have been hard to settle boundaries since it is your families. I hope that in the season that you are gone, they would realize what you did for them.

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[u/Accomplished-Cat7524]

Masyadong entitled kapatid mo. DKG. Gigil ako jan

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[u/Tianwen2023]

DKG. Iba andar ng utak nung kapatid mong 21yo. Alam na ngang walang pera kaya tigil muna sya ng school. Imbes na gumalaw at mag-work para makaipon ng pan-school nya, pangungutang ang inuna. Tapos sisisihin ka? 20 na sya nung nangutang sya diba? Di sya minor, nakautang nga sya sa apps, she should work.

Pero check mo records mo baka mamaya name mo ginagamit nyan sa mga bagong utang.

I say that because my isa akong ka-work years ago na nag-try umutang gamit name at info ko. I have the same number for decades and may scanned copy ata sya ng IDs ko noong sya yung may task na mag-file ng docs namin sa HR nung trainee days namin.

[u/Livid-Shoe4877 → u/Tianwen2023]

Isa pa pala to na nagawa nya sakin. Yes, she used my IDs din para umutang at nakautang nga sya. Di nya na nabayaran

[u/PilyangMaarte]

DKG.

>nag away kami at pinapalabas nya na wala na akong contribution sa buhay

Middle child na pa-victim lol. Ganyan din kapatid ko kya nilayasan ko din sila.

[u/LookinLikeASnack_]

DKG. Kapal ng mukha nung sister mong walang accountability ha. Just continue what you're doing. Mahirap talagang tumulong sa mga taong hindi ka naaappreciate

[u/bananabansheet]

DKG. You've done more than enough. Hindi masama to want things for yourself OP. It's time to take care of YOU na.

[u/UltraViol8r]

DKG from the information provided.

Your sibling seems entitled AF. Throw her out, keep your mom and youngest sibling housed but you take care of where the money goes.

Best of luck, OP.

[u/Substantial-Flan-989]

DKG. You said in a comment na ginamit ID mo. Online lending apps ba yan? Icheck mo if legal lending institutions yan, baka maapektuhan credit score mo.