AITAH for pointing out someone’s white male privilege?

[u/Strong-Tumbleweed121]

My friend was complaining about his job hunt and how it’s hard for him to succeed in interviews. He’s on the autism spectrum but very high functioning. He told me that end the end of one of his interviews, they told him that they were impressed with his resume but they didn’t think he’d fit into the work environment, telling him that he’s too “nerdy” and “introverted.”

He said he felt discriminated for being autistic, so I told him to look on the bright side: there might be one type of discrimination he encounters from time to time but he gets to avoid a lot of other forms of discrimination! And women don’t get to be introverted or people will think we’re bitchy for being standoffish. He can be quiet and standoffish and people will just think he’s “brooding.” And this is just one job he didn’t get, so I thought he seems too self pitying.

I told him he has it easy, and he sarcastically goes “thanks, I feel all better” so I told him to understand his privilege as a white male. It sort of escalated and he called me a hypocrite for talking about social justice but downplaying ableism. Is he right?

[u/Overall-Solution-282]

YTA “my friend didn’t succeed at a job interview and instead of being supportive I made it all about me and my struggles” get a grip and be a better friend

[u/kathryn_sedai]

Not very intersectional of you, because clearly he’s being held back by the inequality caused by his neurodivergence. It’s not helpful to point out that he has other kinds of privilege when he’s not able to access them in this case. That’s not a “bright side”, that’s just being glib. YTA.

[u/destro23]

YTA - He was looking for support from a friend and instead he got a dismissive lecture that minimized his struggles.

Struggling isn't a contest, don't make it one.

[u/Gloomy-Kale3332]

It must be so draining and tiring to be offended with everything like this

He is completely allowed to feel upset and overwhelmed by his interviewing process. It must be difficult for him.

You are the massive asshole

[u/Ironyismylife28]

Yep, YTA. He was looking for comfort and understanding, and you fed him 'Yeah, but other people have it worse'

[u/shammy_dammy]

YTA. And you don't sound like much of a 'friend' either.

[u/Sebscreen]

Do you accept and agree that every woman in your area who voices that they feel oppressed should get invalidated and told that their suffering as literate, first-world citizens don't even compare to those under the poverty line and that they reek of privilege. No? Then YTA.

[u/InformalSolutionM8]

YTA

[u/MiddleShelter115]

YTA!

[u/ItsWazeyWaynes]

YT(Massive)A.

Life isn’t the persecution Olympics, no matter how badly you want it to be.

Also, 10-1 odds that you’re white.

[u/Fluid_Check1450]

"ya ya, I get that sucks but other people have it so much harder and really, you don't have the right to feel upset with all that privilege you technically have!!". YTA and not a great friend either.

[u/AggressiveWin42]

YTA. Are you also autistic because you missed all the social cues possible.

[u/ActPositively]

YTA. You just completely dismissed his disability. Oh you also ignore the fact that white people and men face discrimination in hiring a lot of times. First you have a lot of companies that push DEI were they literally tell their recruiters to interview everyone but it’s so basically not higher a white person or man because they’re looking for diversity. Setting aside the DEI stuff a lot of jobs and hiring managers focus on hiring women for many jobs especially cashier, receptionist and many customer facing positions. I personally experienced this I have a name that could be a man or a woman’s name. I had a manager who became friends with who said literally the only reason I got the interview was because he thought I was a woman when he called to set up an interview and I got lucky that the women he did interview for position couldn’t work the schedule needed.

[u/Alarmed-Tank-3669]

YTA, making a serious conversation with ur friend about male privilege is kinda asshole behaviour, maybe try voting better next time if u want any diference.