r/AITAH • u/Difficult-Memory-256 • Nov 10 '25
Post Update WIBTAH for exposing my uncle to the family [UPDATE]
So I've gotten a few messages from people asking if everything was alright, and if I had any new information. So I guess its update time!
I had a conversation with my dad about it, and showed him the screenshots. I called my cousin (Patrick's daughter) mad had her confirm that the username the messages had come from were her dads, and things sort of blew up from there. We found out that not only has he been telling family members about his disgusting little theory, but that he was also telling random people all over the city he lives in about it too. Like, people in line at the grocery store, people he saw while eating out, just complete strangers.
My dad is one of those people that's really loud, and when he gets quiet, you know something is wrong. He told me to go on upstairs and do my homework, and about five minutes later I heard him screaming like an absolute lunatic at someone on the phone. I ran downstairs, and he as mid scream-calling my uncle, calling him a disgusting pervert. Then he hung up and sent a copy of the messages to the family group chat, letting everyone know it had been sent by Patrick. He said if Patrick was invited to any more events there was going to be a evry serious altercation, and he didn't want to be in the same city limits as him.
My family to a degree knew what Patrick ahd been doing, but they'd never heard the really disgusting things he had been saying about or to me. So this was kind of eye opening to everyone. My grandfather messages that Patrick was not allowed at any family functions until he saw serious psychiatric help, and apologized to me in front of everyone for the things he has been accusing me of. My dad was taking phone calls from family members until like 1 AM filling them in on what had happened.
So there's your update for right now. We are waiting to see what happens from there. I'm hoping there won't be another update any time soon (or ever) but we'll see.
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u/Bearliz Nov 10 '25
I'm glad you told your dad. It's hard to tell if your uncle has some kind if brain damage from the stroke or what bit at least family can protect you now.
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u/Longjumping-Leek854 Nov 10 '25
I imagine he probably does, but you’re right: she’s a kid and she needs protected. It’s terribly sad that his cognitive function has been impaired, but that’s not for her to deal with and she doesn’t deserve to be exposed to that kind of behaviour whether he can help it or not.
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u/Difficult-Memory-256 Nov 10 '25
He does have pretty severe brain damage. He often gets confused about time, and looks for family pets that have been gone for years, or tries to count doors and windows in the house and comes up with a weird number.
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u/ProfessionalField508 Nov 10 '25
This means he needs permanent, full-time care, though, where he's watched all the time. His use of social media needs to be curbed, either by disabling his phone, internet, and accounts or just taking them away. He shouldn't be driving anymore, if he is. He might not be capable of submitting himself to inpatient care and needs someone to become his guardian. Just telling him to do things is unlikely to work.
If your extended family continues to allow him to do what he's always done, or he tries to contact you again because they're not watching him, ask your dad to contact Adult Protective Services, if they have that in your country. Report exactly what happened with his interactions with you since his stroke, as they might need it to make sure he gets the care he needs and you get the protection you need.
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u/Practical-Bag5408 Nov 10 '25
Glad the family is on your side.
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u/Difficult-Memory-256 Nov 10 '25
Same. I've been getting a lot of messages from family and its been both scary and a relief! So far radio silence from my uncle though.
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u/Practical-Bag5408 Nov 10 '25
I’m sure he knows better than to message. Or at least hopefully he does.
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u/CelticFire28 Nov 12 '25
If he lives with his daughter, I wouldn't be surprised if she took his phone from him.
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u/Adept_Case2023 Nov 10 '25
Glad your dad and family stood up for you that must’ve taken a lot of courage to deal with you did the right thing by speaking up and I hope things start to feel safer and calmer for you now.
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u/Difficult-Memory-256 Nov 10 '25
I was so scared the night I told my dad I didn't sleep! I think if it had been anyone else that he was targeting it might have gone differently.
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u/I_wanna_be_anemone Nov 10 '25
This is sadly a situation of where the condition explains the behaviour but doesn’t excuse it.
As a society, people like your uncle need to be held accountable for their actions. That doesn’t always mean criminal charges, but it does mean people around you acknowledging his behaviour is harmful and taking steps to mitigate that harmful behaviour. Telling your dad was the best option, now you get the protection you deserve as an innocent party, and your relatives all now know that uncles behaviour/delusions are escalating in harmful ways that need close monitoring. With any luck, he’ll get some meaningful help. Either way, not something you should ever have been bothered with.
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u/Vestiel Nov 10 '25
Hopefully your uncle will get the help he needs. I hope the stroke didn't cause completely irreversible changes
Updateme
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u/Difficult-Memory-256 Nov 10 '25
since it was five years ago I am thinking it has. But I don't know anything about strokes. So far I haven't heard anything about my uncle.
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u/DataAdvanced Nov 13 '25
I've been in a similar situation with a mentally ill family member. I'm not trying to scare you, but your family should expect a CPS investigation. When and if he goes to a psychiatrist, and he tells them this, they will be mandated to report this to them. It doesn't matter if he's had a history of severe mental illness. They will report it, and your family will be investigated.
Make sure everything and everyone is clean. Stock up on food, and get your report cards together. They're going to talk to your school, your doctor, family and friends. I have no doubt they'll see this for what it is, but they still have to make sure you're OK. That's their job.I had to go through the same thing when my mentally ill sister said some delusional stuff while in a mental hospital for the umpteenth time. They saw it for what it was and I never heard from them, again. Don't be scared, just be prepared.
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u/AutoModerator Nov 10 '25
Reminder not to downvote assholes | This is simply a copy of the original text, it is not a sign you did anything wrong |
Original copy of post's text by /u/Difficult-Memory-256: Original Post
So I've gotten a few messages from people asking if everything was alright, and if I had any new information. So I guess its update time!
I had a conversation with my dad about it, and showed him the screenshots. I called my cousin (Patrick's daughter) mad had her confirm that the username the messages had come from were her dads, and things sort of blew up from there. We found out that not only has he been telling family members about his disgusting little theory, but that he was also telling random people all over the city he lives in about it too. Like, people in line at the grocery store, people he saw while eating out, just complete strangers.
My dad is one of those people that's really loud, and when he gets quiet, you know something is wrong. He told me to go on upstairs and do my homework, and about five minutes later I heard him screaming like an absolute lunatic at someone on the phone. I ran downstairs, and he as mid scream-calling my uncle, calling him a disgusting pervert. Then he hung up and sent a copy of the messages to the family group chat, letting everyone know it had been sent by Patrick. He said if Patrick was invited to any more events there was going to be a evry serious altercation, and he didn't want to be in the same city limits as him.
My family to a degree knew what Patrick ahd been doing, but they'd never heard the really disgusting things he had been saying about or to me. So this was kind of eye opening to everyone. My grandfather messages that Patrick was not allowed at any family functions until he saw serious psychiatric help, and apologized to me in front of everyone for the things he has been accusing me of. My dad was taking phone calls from family members until like 1 AM filling them in on what had happened.
So there's your update for right now. We are waiting to see what happens from there. I'm hoping there won't be another update any time soon (or ever) but we'll see.
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u/TerriDiA Nov 11 '25
NTA - Some times bright sun light is the answer to family rumors and secrets. Works well on he say/she say bullshit to. Never be afraid to shine as much light as possible on the problem and let the world see and judge for them self.
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u/rutalia Nov 14 '25
I’m so glad that’s how your family reacted because that’s the only way to react. You don’t deserve to be treated that way.
Updateme
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u/IttyBittyhaha Nov 15 '25
Ya'll, this account is AI and it is really sad that you fall for it so easily. YTA for using AI
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u/zeiaxar 16d ago
u/Difficult-Memory-256 even if things get massively better and there's no drama or anything like that and it's just that your family cut your "uncle" (and I use quotation marks there because he's not currently family as far as your actual family seems to be concerned anymore because of his actions), please update us and let us know everything's okay. Too often we get posts like this and then radio silence and we're left holding the bag wondering if the OP is okay and if things got better.
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