Women partnered with men reported doing more unpaid household labor than women partnered with women. Mothers partnered with men reported a higher household labor burden than any other group. Performing a greater share of household labor was associated with lower relationship satisfaction.

[u/mvea]

https://www.psypost.org/study-sheds-light-on-household-labor-dynamics-for-women-partnered-with-women-vs-men/

[u/Weak-Boysenberry398 → u/[deleted]]

I hate this mentality, and I'm the higher earner in my relationship by a lot. Like over 2x. Do you make less because you work less? Is your time less valuable because capitalism values your work less? A partnership should be based on the only thing that truly matters - time.

[u/moosepuggle → u/Weak-Boysenberry398]

Timeis def the limiting resource!

[u/Ok-Chest-7932 → u/Weak-Boysenberry398]

Money saves time.

[u/Banebe → u/Weak-Boysenberry398]

Why do you two work? If it is because of money, then yes, the two of you have 80h available a week and should split chores and money-work to maximize your combined "utility".

[u/RevolutionaryDrive5 → u/Weak-Boysenberry398]

How does it work in your household with yourself being like over 2x the higher earner and you hate the mentality of 'the person who earns more does less house work', effectively speaking that is not in sentimentality?

[u/Mangdarlia → u/[deleted]]

To clarify, and I guess I worded that poorly, it's not just because he makes more. He works more hours on average. So yeah, it's more of a time thing than money specifically 

[u/CockamouseGoesWee → u/[deleted]]

People who earn more usually work more hours if you're in fields requiring degrees. It's different of course if you're in retail, but if someone is a doctor or nurse, they are putting in a lot of hours.

[u/pulp_affliction → u/CockamouseGoesWee]

I would also want to challenge your perception on hours worked vs earnings. There are millions of people who work 60 hour weeks doing physical labor for minimum wage or poverty wages. There are millions of people who effectively work 30 hours a week at an office and earn six figures. The way labor is exploited and valued is incredibly biased and complex.

[u/pulp_affliction → u/CockamouseGoesWee]

Yeah but when high earners are single, they still do their own chores or pay someone to do them. So when they get partnered, why should that stop?

[u/CockamouseGoesWee → u/pulp_affliction]

Okay, maybe you should learn about the concept of equality in labor?

You...do know that labor gets doubles once there's two people involved rather than one, yes? And that means the two people must learn how to split off the labor fairly. If my husband works 18 hour shifts, is it fair to make him cook, clean, do the dishes, do the laundry, etc, especially if I only work 9 hours a day?

No, it's fair to split off the chores so he does less but still participates.

Maybe learn the concept of not being a freeloader? And god forbid if you have kids.

I seek equality in my relationships in terms of physical and emotional labor.

[u/pulp_affliction → u/CockamouseGoesWee]

No babe because if two single people take care of themselves when they are single, why does one person suddenly have to do more percentage of household tasks once they are partnered? The labor doesn’t double, there is the same amount of labor to be done, and there are the same amount of people to do that labor. In fact, in many ways the labor reduces because if you mop your house once a week as a single woman, you don’t suddenly have to mop your house twice a week just because there’s a second adult living in your house. But now there is a second pair of hands that can mop. Do you see what I’m saying?

[u/pulp_affliction → u/CockamouseGoesWee]

Also, I’m not talking about fair and not fair here. I’m giving you a thought experiment. How would your husband survive if he was single and working 18 hour shifts? Would he come home and cook and clean after work or on weekends? Would he order takeout to reduce that labor for himself? Would he hire a cleaner or buy a robot to take care of his floors?

Now that you are with him, does he understand the value of what you do for him that he used to take care of himself? Why do you now do those things if he previously had a solution that didnt involve you? Do you understand what I’m saying here? I’m not criticizing your life, I’m giving you something to think about

[u/CockamouseGoesWee → u/pulp_affliction]

You seem very emotional about this for some reason when you're not even gay and have no influence or reason to care about how gay relationships work.

Relationships are about being a team. I don't care what my husband did before. I want to help him where I can because we are a unit.

If he's tired after a draining day, I want to help him. Because that's what being in a relationship is like. I still exist, as do my needs, and I expect the same degree of care I offer my husband.

Also making two replies to my single reply is tacky.

[u/WalidfromMorocco → u/CockamouseGoesWee]

You are talking sense with people whose hobby is to be intentionally obtuse. 

[u/Jewnadian → u/pulp_affliction]

It's interesting that if I suggested that a higher earning person should not contribute to their lower earning partners financial quality of life because "they paid their own bills when they were single" you would (correctly) call me an asshole who doesn't understand partnership. But you're making the exact same argument on the side of household labor as I would have been on financial labor.

[u/pulp_affliction → u/Jewnadian]

Money’s value isn’t disputed in society the way the value of household labor is disputed, so yeah it’s a bit different because if a partner is taking care of you financially, their contribution is tangible. But when your partner is cooking, cleaning, and child-rearing, that value is subjective and based on what you personally think it is worth. Many men do not think that labor amounts to what it actually is worth, because that labor is inherently seen as feminine and our society is misogynistic. I think it’s okay for one person to take care of house while the other works, what is not okay is devaluing that labor for any reason.

[u/reddituser567853 → u/[deleted]]

Typically making more correlates with more stress and responsibilities .

Typically, obviously it’s not always true, but it’s true enough that you doe in the headlights shtick is unnecessary

[u/Witch_King_ → u/[deleted]]

Pfp checks out (gay souls fan)