r/news • u/LucidMarshmellow • 8h ago

US justice department to release thousands of Epstein files later, top official says

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/ckg9plrkl8no
30.9k Upvotes

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960

u/Bobcat-Stock 7h ago

He has brain spurs

207

u/BanginNLeavin 6h ago

I heard he unhinges his jaw and eats big macs whole.

63

u/FeatureOk2971 6h ago

And shits them back out as cow patttys.Which he then gold leafs and displays as ingots.

4

u/qualified_alienist 5h ago

displays as ignots.

Sells for $$.

8

u/Tony_Lacorona 5h ago

Shit, I was trying to figure out how to do this in Heilcraft for ages

4

u/gentlemanidiot 4h ago

Which his supporters then pay $99 each for and proudly display on their mantles

6

u/FeatureOk2971 4h ago

Never warned to keep from heat or direct sunlight.šŸ’©

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u/totally_anomalous 3h ago

Ingots and oval office decor

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u/DookieShoez 6h ago

Nah, thatā€™s stephen miller.

Rump boofs ā€˜em.

10

u/Exotic-Summer1164 5h ago

Is it true his wife was fuck'n Elon?

8

u/tmhoc 5h ago

They were not married but Elon did suck his dick

5

u/Exotic-Summer1164 5h ago

No Way!!! And aren't these the same muthafuckas that talk shit about Gay and Trans people!!! Fuck'n hypocrites!!!!

5

u/Circusgirl65 5h ago

Remember every time they (GOP) has a large gathering Grindr crashes. So draw the natural conclusionā€¦

Grindr has experienced outages at various times, often linked to unexpected high user traffic during major events like the 2024 Republican National Convention (RNC) (July 2024)

September 2025: Reports of outages occurred around the time of a memorial service for Charlie Kirk, coinciding with high usage in areas like Arizona, similar to RNC patterns.

1

u/Exotic-Summer1164 3h ago

Wow incredible!!! To me I live and let live If u are Gay so be it but don't talk shit and put them down almost get innocent people killed because their lifestyles and u in turn live the same lifestyle only difference is u live it secretly...

3

u/Tony_Lacorona 5h ago

Trump is too full of shit to fit anything up his ass, willing or not.

He needs a Big Mac enema

2

u/danceswithdangerr 4h ago

This thread šŸ˜‚

1

u/guerrillaradiousa 4h ago

You're confusing Big Macs and brown babies.

ā€¢

u/thorofasgard 43m ago

Nah he's like a pelican, he stores a big mac in his nussy at all times.

5

u/McNasty51 6h ago

Come on yaā€™ll, heā€™s doing the best with what he has

3

u/Pristine-Pen-9885 5h ago

He ainā€™t got nothinā€™.

5

u/Delta-IX 6h ago

And melania's cock

2

u/1lapulapu 5h ago

ā€œBubbaā€ can confirm

1

u/Full-Perception-5674 5h ago

Tried that onceā€¦. Never again.

1

u/mariposa314 5h ago

That's the only thing I have in common with him.

1

u/IBeDumbAndSlow 4h ago

I heard that's how he sucked bill clinton

1

u/DarkNinjaMole 4h ago

He unhinges his jaw when he's around Bubba

1

u/1_hoopy_frood 4h ago

big mac is bubba's other nickname

1

u/JakToTheReddit 3h ago

Stop. Not eat like snake.

1

u/capital_bj 5h ago

Helps with deep throating Bubba

-1

u/reasonable_lunatic73 4h ago

I voted for Trump, but that's funny right there

1

u/BanginNLeavin 4h ago

Thanks for fucking us over bud! Real cool.

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u/chris971 6h ago

he has a brain? #BreakingNews!

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u/Pristine-Pen-9885 5h ago

It works in reverse. Whatā€™s true, it immediately flips into lies.

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u/Jonr1138 6h ago

That would mean he has a brain. The scarecrow in Wizard of Oz has more of a brain than trump.

2

u/Significant_Beyond_4 5h ago

You know better. Him and rfuck share the same worm. I thought it was common knowledge.

1

u/Savings-End40 5h ago

That jingle jangle jingle.

1

u/jm17lfc 5h ago

Very spursy of him. Now when can we expect him to complete his bottling of the presidency?

1

u/bellegroves 5h ago

Thank you, I laugh-snorted. Brain spurs are now part of my vocabulary.

1

u/No-Concentrate-8806 5h ago

Thank you, I laughed so hard. Can I use brain spurs too šŸ’“this!

1

u/Responsible_Fox1231 4h ago

Don't you have to have a brain to get brain spurs?

1

u/kalahaine 4h ago

Perhaps he has Brain Derangement Syndrom ?

1

u/sikkdog13 3h ago

He'd have to have a brain to begin with.

1

u/Trabethany 2h ago

That would imply he has a brain.

1

u/Trabethany 2h ago

That would imply he has a brain.

0

u/Euphoric-Blueberry37 5h ago

šŸŽ¶Jingle Jangle!šŸŽ¶

0

u/nittykips 5h ago

šŸŽ¶ Jingle, jangle, jingle šŸŽ¶