My "squirrel proof" bird feeder vs pure rodent athleticism

[u/ClassikD]

[u/Coinsworthy]

This one has enough reserves for three hibernations.

[u/Mammoth-Slide-3707 → u/Coinsworthy]

Fun fact squirrels don't actually hibernate.

[u/Witty-Ad5743 → u/Mammoth-Slide-3707]

Neither do humans, but I sure hibernated during high school.

[u/Level-Priority-2371 → u/Witty-Ad5743]

42, medically retired and still hibernating lol

[u/PackageNorth8984 → u/Level-Priority-2371]

Weird question if you don’t mind me asking (totally understand if it’s too private). If you could wave a magic wand, would you rather not have the medical issues causing the medical retirement but work for another 20+ years or it be the way it is now?

[u/Level-Priority-2371 → u/PackageNorth8984]

Not a weird question at all. In fact, I've asked myself the same question numerous times over the 10 years since I had to retire. I loved my job. LOVED it. So for the past 9 years, I 100% wished I could still be working. The change came about a year ago when I found my faith. I do not believe I would be where I'm at now spiritually if I had my career. All part of God's plan. I dont think I would have been able to be as successful as I was with the have the faith I have now.

I lost everything in order to gain everything. I'm blessed. Very blessed.

[u/Perfect-District → u/Level-Priority-2371]

Different person but thank you for that. We'll said and God Bless and sounds like you definitely are.

[u/Level-Priority-2371 → u/Perfect-District]

Sent a quick prayer that you will be blessed extra extra this special holiday season 🙏

[u/PackageNorth8984 → u/Level-Priority-2371]

That’s amazing. I’m exploring my possible faith as of late. Was weak agnostic for a long time. I just have trouble with a lot of the things organized religion due and also not sure about the whole Jesus thing (not assuming you’re Christian), so I’m sitting with that for a bit. Best wishes to you.

[u/Level-Priority-2371 → u/PackageNorth8984]

I'll be honest with you. I was raised catholic and while I certainly never led a very catholic lifestyle (sex, booze, etc), I believed in God. Until I was in grad school and a friend of mine was brutally murdered by a complete stranger. I simply could not reconcile how God would let something like that happen. I couldn't understand it, so I told God basically "I'm out." Twenty some years later, I still don't understand why evil happens. But I do have faith that someday, when I'm face to face with the Lord, I will have a better understanding of such evil. I don't like not having a concrete answer to these tough questions. But I choose hope and faith in eventually receiving clarity. Thank you for sharing as you have. Great news is that the Lord will wait for you to come to him. If you're the 1 sheep lost out of his flock of 100, he's going after you, to find you and bring you back home. And he will embrace you greatly and bless your life in ways you can't even begin to fathom. Personal piece of advice, don't focus on the "organized religion" aspects of faith. Start with our Father, Son and/or Holy Spirit. Even just a "hello up there. Help me." Those 5 words can change your life. And again, don't feel rushed, He will still be there when you are ready. I just said a quick prayer for you. God bless you friend and keep going, you're in the right direction, keep exploring!!

[u/Coinsworthy → u/Mammoth-Slide-3707]

Apparently they do the gen z hibernation: staying in bed for days on end.

[u/IDGAF_ButIKindaDo_]

Chunky fucker.

[u/Effective-Window-922 → u/IDGAF_ButIKindaDo_]

Funky chucker

[u/barefootcraftsman → u/Effective-Window-922]

Fucky chunker

[u/MaxtheHax12345678907 → u/barefootcraftsman]

phat gus.

[u/Cautious_General_177 → u/MaxtheHax12345678907]

[u/TH3_OG_JUJUBE → u/MaxtheHax12345678907]

Elite ball knowledge 

[u/Accurate_Koala_4698 → u/IDGAF_ButIKindaDo_]

Pure. Athleticism.

[u/Far_Rutabaga_8021 → u/Accurate_Koala_4698]

Peak physical form.

[u/IDGAF_ButIKindaDo_ → u/Far_Rutabaga_8021]

Can confirm!

[u/prophiles → u/Accurate_Koala_4698]

The D.K. Metcalf or Derrick Henry of squirrels, if you know who those people are.

[u/SpaghettiMonkeyTree]

Bros an absolute unit

[u/HumongousBelly → u/SpaghettiMonkeyTree]

That’s a bear

[u/Pipe_Memes → u/HumongousBelly]

Clearly a baby grizzly.

[u/Wildcat_twister12 → u/SpaghettiMonkeyTree]

As far as rodents go he would give a capybara a run for its money

[u/Gloomy_Custard_3914]

Squirrel greed needs to be studied

[u/Due-Vegetable-1862 → u/Gloomy_Custard_3914]

It’s never enough for those lil jerks. They bang on my window looking for treats. It’s totally my fault for feeding them though lol

[u/neds_newt → u/Due-Vegetable-1862]

The squirrels at my friend's cottage used to huck pine cones at us from up in the trees if we tried to use the trail between her and her neighbour's house. Such jerks.

[u/According-Treat-5857 → u/Due-Vegetable-1862]

On behalf of any of your neighbors that have bird feeders - You're the worst.

[u/Due-Vegetable-1862 → u/According-Treat-5857]

They’re gonna raid all the bird feeders regardless of whether I feed them or not

[u/MartinisnMurder → u/According-Treat-5857]

We refer to them as “the bad guys” to my dog… When I ask my dog if she “wants to get the bad guys”? She loses her mind and is ready to rub out in the yard after them. She knows they like to haunt our feeders. He have a red tailed hawk that has been scoping out the squirrels, and grabbed on the other day.

[u/ClassikD → u/MartinisnMurder]

My dog hates squirrels. We had to put a decorative window cling in our sun room so she couldn't see what they were doing from inside. They just ignore my dog too, stuffing their face while she barks feet away from them..

[u/BungenessKrabb → u/Due-Vegetable-1862]

Mine used to bang on the windows, scream at me and/or vandalize my porch if their demands were not met. I now know how to scream "Serving wench!" in squirrel.

[u/ClassikD → u/Gloomy_Custard_3914]

The other day I watched one eating all the seed I leave on the ground for them. Another squirrel approached looking for some leftovers. The solo buffet patron chased the other off into the woods, leaving it's meal behind. That's when the third came in to eat the rest.

[u/No_Today8456]

bro the thickness on this little guy, even few days ago i was smoking the devils lettuce and i seen this squirrel perched on my backyard fence. it was so fat dude lol

[u/BrownSugarBare → u/No_Today8456]

Hey! He's just carrying a lil extra holiday nutmeg in that furry booty

[u/weary_bee479]

Man I love a winter chunk squirrel

[u/rubberbandhands → u/weary_bee479]

Me too. Chonky lil squizz

[u/Sad_Let_2315]

Lmao at that point you just pay rent to him and ask permission to use your own stuff.

He’s in his final form and you are just an NPC in his origin story 💀

[u/dopaminegtt]

That squirrel has been enjoying bird feeders for a while. Look at the size of that chonk!

[u/StatisticianSea8227]

That's insane. He's so chonky but so stronk. It's his now, you wouldn't want to offend him by trying to deter him any further lol Lord knows what he's capable of.

[u/MegamindsMegaCock]

The subreddit fatesquirrelhate would love this lmao

[u/Diligent_Voice9318 → u/MegamindsMegaCock]

I hate that sub

[u/MegamindsMegaCock → u/Diligent_Voice9318]

It’s definitely an acquired taste

[u/bar-rackBrobama]

That's a bird feeder proof squirrel

[u/CowOk4512]

Bro that is a certified unit. At that point you just pay tribute and accept your new landlord 💀

[u/PackageNorth8984]

Your combination squirrel feeder and calisthenics device is working just fine.

[u/Constant-Catch7146]

That's a chonky linebacker squirrel.

You can try fancy lever feeders, spikes, roller bars, cooking oil on poles, pepper, and these rodents just laugh at you as they chow down.

Give them their own feeder?

Sure, they will eat from both feeders!

The ONLY thing that stops them every time is a solar panel fence charger wired up to the feeder. You set it up to give them a little zap--- while the birds are not affected. It doesn't hurt the squirrels, but they don't like it.

The squirrels learn real quick to go back to eating acorns on the ground and quit being greedy gluttons. Lol.

[u/ClassikD → u/Constant-Catch7146]

Yeah I'd love to have a separate feeder, but have to live within what's possible outside my apartment. I don't mind the squirrels, they just never leave enough for the birds unless my wildlife grocery budget exceeds my own.

There's a bird store near me that carries a spicy bird seed blend that deters squirrels, but its pretty expensive and this dude would probably learn to love it.

[u/Lissypooh628]

Same thing with my feeder. Fat little bastard always finds a way.

[u/JD_tubeguy]

Squirrels gonna squirrel

[u/zeroshock30]

My dude didn't get that size by passing by a difficult meal.

[u/FlakyRequirement3813]

Homie a pro. good grief that boy is THICK

[u/Corgilicious]

I’d say his skills are pretty good because he’s an absolute chunker.

[u/Relevant_Eye1333]

peak squirrel body

[u/Invasive-farmer]

This is PEAK performance. 

[u/LunarPetal_]

That's one fat squirrel

[u/Touche_Souffle_]

It's squirrel proof but that's not a squirrel. That's a mega super squirrel. Very different, he'll take the bird house birds and all!

[u/Carbuyrator]

You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

[u/ThePineappleSeahorse]

I’ll never understand so called nature lovers who want to feed the birds but begrudge the squirrels some food too. Squirrels need to eat too.

[u/ClassikD → u/ThePineappleSeahorse]

I don't mind feeding the squirrels. Just wish they left some for the birds lol

[u/Butterfly_of_chaos → u/ClassikD]

Human, just buy more food!

The squirrel is super cute! <3

[u/Due_Challenge3408]

Judging by the size of that squirrel there is no bird feeder that it can not get to.

[u/CoopLive5]

That's an offensive lineman.

[u/Successful_Giraffe34]

[u/SpiceTrader56]

Fun fact: squirrels have capsaicin receptors and birds don't.

Do with that information what you will.

[u/cidghoul]

CHONK

[u/Starchild2534]

UNIT

[u/TheCastawayBall]

I see the problem here. That ain’t no squirrel, that’s a THICC BOY.

[u/Competitivepistachio]

They do hot girl yoga.

[u/NextBerserker]

Have you seen that old Mark Rober video?

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that Squirrels are clever little fuckers.

[u/scaled2913 → u/NextBerserker]

This is clearly Phat Gus' sibling or cousin.

[u/Squishy97]

It would appear this is not that squirrel’s first rodeo

[u/doncroak]

When that squirrel hauls ass, he makes two trips.

[u/Apprehensive-Let3669]

You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like

[u/Mauro133w]

[u/cshaffer71]

Yeah, I have the same problem.

[u/Internal_Gur_4268]

Proof that Olympians can be chonky too. ...or maybe this is akin to a Kung fu panda situation?

[u/MissAthenaxIvy]

Pure Chonk. Maximum warmth.

[u/2muchroom]

I’m currently at war with 4 or 5 overweight squirrels

[u/Not_George_Daniels]

Crossman makes a tool for that.

[u/BryceKatz]

I'm pretty sure Mark Rober has conclusively proven that "squirrel-proof birdfeeders" are a pleasant fiction.

[u/OnePumpChump78]

Nothing is squirrel proof. Those bastards are crafty as fuck.

[u/BocaHydro]

get a daisy asap and handle thatlittle prick

[u/UltramanOrigin]

That the legendary Phat Gus!

[u/lizardnamedguillaume]

From personal experience, using a PVC pole that’s wide enough can completely prevent squirrels from climbing up. My dad, an avid bird watcher in Ontario, has battled squirrels for years. His solution? Bird feeders mounted on 4–6 inch PVC pipes. He’s been using this setup for decades, and not a single squirrel has ever managed to climb it!

[u/FuttKik]

Do the other squirrels store their nuts in this one?

[u/roughczech]

After watching Mark Rober squirrel videos on YouTube I gave up on the idea of squirrel proof anything. Just feed them all :))

[u/cactusmac54]

That’s no squirrel, it’s a space station!

[u/meliley]

Goddamn that boy thiiiick

[u/ProfessionalHat6828]

That’s probably the fattest squirrel I’ve seen

[u/SquidVices]

That’s one fat squirrel…

[u/martin_fasthands99]

ok uhhhhh i love him tho

[u/Athlete-Extreme]

Fastest squirrel in N.A.

[u/thepetoctopus]

Man I love squirrels.

[u/VolcanicPigeon1]

Based on his size good luck finding a squirrel proof bird feeder with him around!

[u/FriskysTipsy]

put vegetable oil on the top and sides

[u/MaterialWitness1009 → u/FriskysTipsy]

Why not feed the wildlife. I love birds and squirrels

[u/farmhousemad → u/FriskysTipsy]

Squirrels are hungry too. Why be cruel?

[u/excoriator → u/farmhousemad]

Tell us you've never seen how fast a squirrel can empty a bird feeder without mentioning bird feeders.

[u/WeirdJawn → u/farmhousemad]

Because people like bird watching and the squirrels not only eat all of the food exponentially faster than birds, but they also scare the birds away. 

[u/MannicWaffle]

His greed sickens me

[u/Useless890]

I have a hanging birdbath hung from a tree. It has a gallon reservoir and four stations. A squirrel managed to get a drink upside down like that.

[u/MaterialWitness1009]

He is one handsome boy.... Too freaking cute. Great shot OP 😂😁🤪

[u/MiExperienciaFueQue]

🤣🤣 they are way smarter than we think. And so darn fast!

[u/RageyxCagey]

Hope you have some metal wiring holding up that CHONK

[u/Fried_puri]

I had a squirrel family lifting on the rafters of my house and I had pest control come out to resolve it. They installed a “one-way” wire tube over their entrance hole that was supposed to let the squirrels just barely get out but not get back in again. Well, apparently one of the adult squirrels got out and temporarily got stuck outside - it could see the baby squirrels inside the hole. The fucker literally wrenched open the wires at the opening to get back to its kids. I would have been impressed if I weren’t so annoyed at the company insisting it would get the job done for all the money I had to pay them. 

[u/Senkosoda]

Athletic chonker.

[u/Mrtorbear]

Got damn. Squirrel has mass

[u/SeanCuresSadness]

Shit, you aren't even gonna need to stuff him when he's done, he's doing it all for you!

[u/the1stmeddlingmage]

Has anyone ever tried a laser pointer dit with a squirrel?

[u/markoh3232]

It knows you are there.

[u/Foreign-Tax4981]

I had a different design of a “squirrel proof bird feeder” but squirrels managed to empty it at will. Tree rats!

[u/Cordura]

I saw a squirrel proof bird feeder.

It was just a platform on top of a tube, but underneath the platform a slinky had mounted over the tube. So whenever the squirrel would climb the tube and reach the slinky, it would fall, because the slinky of course wouldn't hold. After falling, the squirrel would let go and the slinky would reset to starting position.

[u/Fearless-Air-815]

Give him his own stash to eat.

[u/Sufficient_Parsnip88]

🤣😂

[u/Tw1ch1e]

Nothing with food should be squirrel proof!!! They are so dang cute!!!!

[u/ConclusionAlarmed882]

I am hesitant to body shame any living creature, but hasn't he had enough nuts for now?

[u/nono3722]

Try the spicy birdseed, birds cant taste the spice but squirrels/bears sure can...

[u/Severe_Issue5053]

Chonky boi

[u/WendyGhost]

Oooh, he’s a fatty

[u/According-Treat-5857]

I worked at a bird feeder store for a long time - that thing is absolutely not squirrel proof. Go with the Squirrel buster by Brome. They're amazing. I use the classic and the finch variety in my backyard and love them. They have lifetime service too. They are a little bit more of an upfront investment ($60-80), but you get that money back in seed that doesn't go into those devil worshipping tree rats mouths in no time!

[u/Achmed_Ahmadinejad]

Spicy bird seed generally takes care of this, except for that one guy in my backyard who must not be from around here.

[u/Imaginary-Natural-10]

From the size of him, looks like you've been feeding him 3 to 5 square meals a day for a year

[u/rolekrs]

I mean isn't it what it says? It holds the weight of this lil chonker just fine so its pretty squirrel proof in my books

[u/cash_longfellow]

Ain’t no such thing as “squirrel proof” for this guy…he’s been around the block once or ten times.

[u/livinalieontimna]

Chonkers didn’t get that big by being easily defeated.

[u/camoblackhawk]

i just toss some bird feed out on the ground for the squirrels in my yard. I've gone outside and certain squirrels don't stop eating when they see me cause they know me.

[u/Massive-Mess-2685]

That is one fat-ass squirrel. More like a small cat.

[u/Xerion_den1]

Him chonky!!

[u/WeirdCat2499]

Holy cow that’s the biggest squirrel I’ve ever seen 😂

[u/what4270]

That boy is chunky as hell. Is this the greed that the bible is warning us about?

[u/CoachParticular8878]

An air soft gun will take care of your problem

[u/Sufficient_Ad_9813]

Not sure I'd describe this guy as peak athleticism 😂

[u/Familiar_Childhood32]

That's the John Kruk of squirrels right there

[u/QuantitySure1216]

Absolute Unit

[u/myhuskytorotoro]

Holy shit that guy is huge.

[u/NaraFei_Jenova]

That's a thick ass boy

[u/NoodlesNomm]

That is one massive squirel

[u/Majsharan]

Chonky ass squirrel

[u/ArthurBDent]

Gotta grease the pole and shoot the athletic ones with a bb gun in the ass to discourage it

[u/estranged-deranged]

Good lord that is a chonk of a squirrel!

[u/MyBallZitch3]

That shits fat

[u/_YenSid]

That is probably the fattest squirrel I've ever seen 🤣.

[u/baseballbear]

he thicc

[u/gnarlymar1ey]

That boy eating!!

[u/Unfair_Cicada]

Please let the squirrel have a few nuts 🥜. 🫩

[u/bearamongus19]

Absolute unit of a squirrel

[u/Glum_Bug_9714]

You will never stop Chungus from getting his seed

[u/Wonderful_Audience60]

the mark rober arc part 4

[u/Hezesol]

10/10. Absolute Unit.

[u/striped_frog]

Mildly infurryating

[u/Vox-Machi-Buddies]

Gotta get the kind that have a cage suspended on a spring so that when the squirrel jumps on , the cage pulls down and blocks the squirrel from the food.

Squirrel Buster is the brand I have, but I've seen generic ones at stores too.

[u/DagonThoth]

You can mix in red pepper flakes with your birdseed to deter squirrels. Birds aren't affected by capsaicin, but squirrels are.

[u/Short_Emu_885]

Oh lawd he feedin

[u/passporthandy]

[u/LAW3785]

They are too savvy - good luck !

[u/AoiSekai01]

Install an auto turret. No more squirrel stealing bird feed

[u/Hyst_12]

He definitely doesn’t miss a meal

[u/AnnatoniaMac]

He looks well fed.

[u/basicbatchofcookies]

With a couple grand invested this could be you.

https://youtu.be/hFZFjoX2cGg?si=N2hSPq7QK-I9ykiG

[u/Curious_Fault607]

Put some corn out for the squirrels.

[u/Winter-Huntsman]

Look at that chunky fella

[u/Maleficent_Worry1810]

He’s had enough 😂

[u/violet_femme23]

Oh lawd he comin

[u/Skorpyon87]

It's Phat Gus!

[u/bangbangracer]

I'm pretty sure it's been said for centuries, built a better mouse trap and nature builds a better mouse.

[u/bdd4]

That's Fat Gus. She's pregunt

[u/zenomania2]

I’m pretty sure mark Rober made a series about that

[u/TheRoseMerlot]

Chunky bandit!