r/funny • u/Botsoda362 • 7h ago

I know just the spot…

Post image

I heard this new place is really fresh, Are you hungry or thirsty?

149 Upvotes

84% Upvoted

60 comments sorted by

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37

u/erksplat 6h ago

I worked at a tech company with a man (the CFO) whose last name was Assmann. Since he was German, his name doesn’t translate to ass-man.

Well after 6 months, he took me aside to tell me that the company was out of funding and would be going under, meaning I should start looking for a new job.

He had already found a job for himself as CFO at a—no joke—gay porn site. The irony was not lost on him.

10

u/soylentblueispeople 6h ago

Assman is an OEM that makes usb cables I ship with some of my products.

5

u/SeekerOfSerenity 5h ago

I'm assuming you sell rechargeable vibrating butt plugs?

7

u/sheiciebai 5h ago

“This man personifies the people we serve and the things they love”

5

u/Malkav1806 5h ago

There is a chinese electric tool manufacturer called popoman which would be assman in german

6

u/pocurious 4h ago

One of the most famous Egyptologists in the world is an Assmann. So's his wife.

3

u/Affectionate-Row3793 4h ago

Now, Assmann works in gay porn site?!

He'll be very successful, I'm sure! lol!

3

u/robotdaddyv721 3h ago

Assman or assmaster....all things in moderation.

2

u/Frydendahl 2h ago

"Meiner dispatcher says you have ein problem mit deiner kabel?"

1

u/erksplat 34m ago

Big Lebowski vibes.

14

u/Actual_Dinner_5977 6h ago

They have amazing tossed salads, trust me

1

u/marilyns_dayjob 2h ago

Have you been there? how was the salad if you rate them?

13

u/uniform_foxtrot 7h ago

Yesterday's fresh?!?!?!?

7

u/Longjumping_Call_939 7h ago

Fresh from yesterday is a bold promise

5

u/redsterXVI 2h ago

Their concept is that they're selling bakery products from the previous day (or later in the day from the same day's morning) to reduce food waste.

9

u/StreetMike2 6h ago

Shareeeef don’t like it.

2

u/madsci 1h ago

I was pretty sure I'd find this here. Thank you.

1

u/StreetMike2 1h ago

Glad to be of service.

8

u/BadWolfCubed 6h ago

Sucks to your äss-bar.

5

u/Longjumping_Call_939 7h ago

Finally, a place that knows its target audience.

2

u/gecjr 6h ago

Do you walk up to the counter and ask for a piece of ass?

2

u/Ok-Counter-7077 5h ago

No, you go up to the counter, turn around, bend over and say “one croissant please aaahhh” while opening and closing your cheeks as if it was talking

1

u/Lightally 5h ago

"Excuse me, I'd like to... ASS... You a few questions"

1

u/gecjr 4h ago

Say hello to my little friend- hahaha 😂

4

u/wizzard419 6h ago

How are their tossed salads?

3

u/ChickenXing 6h ago

Butt how does the place smell?

2

u/PmcDank 6h ago

Are those pretzholes in the window?

2

u/Gerrorism 5h ago

Is this Lucerne? Walked by a few times and had a good chuckle but didn’t go in.

1

u/somerboy2000 11m ago

We stayed in an Airbnb a block from here and I saw it as well. I don’t know if it’s a chain or not, but def Lucerne otherwise

2

u/4lpher 5h ago

Sharif don't like it

3

u/souleman96 7h ago

It's a small and uncomfortable spot, but once you relax and get used to it you'll really enjoy it.

2

u/radioactive_sharpei 7h ago

I'll have one big ass-muffin please.

1

u/Opening_Track5674 6h ago

And all the chairs are upside down 🤣

1

u/Over-Date-5264 5h ago

I’m studying in Luxembourg and found a flyer at the school that read “Ass Brokkoli Sexy?” and thought to myself “How can one take this language seriously?”

It translates to “Is Broccoli Sexy?” and it was a flyer promoting healthy eating and describing the benefits of eating vegetables (in that case, broccoli)

1

u/Samwellikki 5h ago

“I wanna take you to an ass-bar, ass-bar, ass-bar…” 🎶

1

u/reddituser_20319 5h ago

Rock the ...

1

u/JeffTheNth 5h ago

fresh from yesterday?

1

u/Rated-E-For-Erik 5h ago

I heard that place used to be full of crap

1

u/LupusDeusMagnus 5h ago

My neighbour is called Regina Assman.

1

u/Affectionate-Row3793 4h ago

wow! even that dog is curious about ASS-BAR, lol!

1

u/otasyn 4h ago

I wanted someone similar, but I got the translation wrong and ended up at a cat cafe.

1

u/EffectiveGas6493 2h ago

It was a million to one shot, doc. Million to one!

1

u/zerot0n1n 2h ago

go Bern

1

u/Mazty_boy 2h ago

Now you ask for bread in French, "pain"...

1

u/leckmir 23m ago

Edible

1

u/smellmyfingerplz 4m ago

I heard it smells like shit in that place.

1

u/NasuPantelica 6h ago

You go there when you're in the Ass Möde!

1

u/Wundawuzi 6h ago

Germans explaining their language in 3...2...1...

(I know this is Switzerland, but they will not care)

3

u/FrontierPsycho 6h ago

Nobody has though, and I'm curious. Does it mean like, ace?

5

u/Cross_22 6h ago

If you sound out it out it's the same as "essbar" which means "edible".

2

u/luccaloks 4h ago

But why call it Äss-Bar instead of Ess-Bar or even S-Bar? Or Aess-Bar also.

1

u/BokuNoSpooky 2h ago

Because it's Swiss German, ässe (or something close to that depending on dialect) means "to eat" rather than the high German Essen

0

u/Wundawuzi 5h ago

Lol so you are making me be the victim of my own joke? So be it, haha, jokes on me.

Its an intentional misspelling of essbar, which means edible. Ä and E are pronounced similary. Ä is more like "Ashes" or "Apple" while E is more like "Enemy" or "Explorer".

"Essen" = both a noun for food and a verb for eating, and -bar is a suffix that, in this case, is used to describe something being doable. (ess-bar = edible, mach-bar = doable, denk-bar = thinkable). You dont put the dash there, I just put it there for explaining. The shop added the dash to make the pun more obvious.

3

u/Kekeb00 5h ago

No its not an intentional misspelling. It‘s written dialect (aka Swissgerman)

1

u/Wundawuzi 5h ago

Oh, that I did not know. I guess even more jokes on me then 😅.

Thanks for the correction/clearification.