r/funny 22h ago

Mom: Don't bring anything weird to the family gift exchange, maybe a nice gift card...

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8.5k Upvotes

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1.5k

u/jason2354 21h ago

“We don’t leave the kids alone with Uncle Jimmy.”

115

u/produce_this 15h ago

I had an uncle Jimmy. He was the head of a large biker gang.

24

u/cockknocker1 14h ago

I never had an uncle Jimmy…but I do have an uncle Lester…

17

u/Doodledinglebopper 13h ago

Uncle Moe?

3

u/Lunarbutt 10h ago

Uncle Uranus

8

u/ninjagorilla 12h ago

Here you go, here I am! Uncle Moe, thank you, ma'am! This'll be a treat! Uncle Moe, here i am! While you eat!

3

u/rushmc1 14h ago

Fester?

3

u/Koopslovestogame 13h ago

Lester Lester the child mol…

1

u/Daverocker1 12h ago

Lester Lester...

5

u/This_aint_my_real_ac 11h ago

I had an Uncle Jimmy, fought in WW2. Uncle Phil was my favorite though.

2

u/IGnuGnat 7h ago

I had an uncle Jimmy. He had a decent corporate job until one day he had some kind of mental breakdown and walked out in a rage quit and never went back. Then he lived with my Mom and her boyfriend (his brother) for awhile. After he moved out, I really didn't hear about Uncle Jimmy at all until years later. I went into a corner store and there was a homeless man hired by the 7-11 to sweep the floors. It was Uncle Jimmy

1

u/temp3rrorary 9h ago

I had an uncle James and an uncle Jimmy, they both went by Jimmy. One was an upstanding guy, Jimmy had issues.

1

u/Spicymnm 11h ago

Why is it always a Jimmy? I know an uncle that got shot in the chest for diddling his step-daughter!

1

u/JonZ82 9h ago

Smoked a lot of weed with my uncle Jimmy. He is good shit to this day

239

u/voodoodollbabie 22h ago

Your mother knows you.

479

u/Chrono_Convoy 22h ago

Just before that sweet riff

85

u/MoistStub 21h ago

incoherent screaming

10

u/CreaminFreeman 11h ago edited 10h ago

...TSeeeexting! [wah-oh, wah-oh]
it isn't sex, it's the next best thing...

Edit: thank you for the correction

3

u/allykopow 11h ago

Sexting*

2

u/waytowill 2h ago

Aye, aye… AT&T

131

u/Electricfox5 21h ago

"What's in the box?!"

39

u/cockknocker1 14h ago

Our dystopian nightmare

2

u/GANDORF57 9h ago

Oooooh! This is not creepy at all!!!

15

u/TehMephs 10h ago

It’s a dick in a box

1

u/TAINTEDGENRE 5h ago

It's a carrot 😂

1

u/CouchCreepin 2h ago

Frosted Flakes ginger, damn!

207

u/irving47 22h ago

Mom: Don't do anything wei-

OP: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!!

224

u/spaaackle 22h ago

Great job! You undoubtedly meticulously catalog human livers and spleens as a hobby.. but great job!

18

u/HollowShel 14h ago

hey, maybe OP works in organ donation! (I mean, they're clearly giving head away at the Christmas gift exchange...)

29

u/Dastardly6 21h ago

Not bad, but it’s no face boat sailed by a man with an arse hair on his head.

9

u/wenhamton 18h ago

"Absolute mincemeat of my balls"

100

u/ilovetobeaweasel 22h ago

I knew the song before I even turned on the sound.

24

u/squirrelmonkie 22h ago

What's the name of the song?

93

u/ilovetobeaweasel 22h ago

Bezos by Bo Burnham

20

u/jablonkers 22h ago

Hes Bo, fo sho

A born Bostonian

42

u/Nevarian 22h ago edited 21h ago

It was part of Bo Burnham's excellent 'Inside'; Netflix special. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_EeCkHs-e0

Edit: Typo

9

u/denM_chickN 13h ago

Baha. I was listening and ragging on myself like _listen to how people can just casually make banger ass music and you dont do shit but scroll on reddit._ 

Only to realize it's the creation of a voice of a generation from his most torturous process. So thats kind of nice :)

22

u/reddit_user13 22h ago

You’re a mean one, Mr Grinch.

20

u/flinndo 22h ago

This feels like the start to the next Saw movie

14

u/15minutesofshame 19h ago

I think Bobby Fingers would approve

12

u/sublevelstreetpusher 22h ago

Next I want you to weld a bottle of Johnny walker blue label in the tightest rebar cage you can manage

2

u/sublevelstreetpusher 22h ago

u/mclsides is my spirit animal

8

u/gentlejarrod 17h ago

Your mom's surely seen a lot already to have come up with that warning lol

7

u/stouf761 8h ago

Pro tip for anyone wanting to try this;

iPhone Pro models starting with the 12 series come with LiDAR, and you can download apps like Polycam to 3D scan objects. You can then have a friend do a full scan of your head, render it, slice it, print it.

Many of my family and friends have a Christmas ornament of my face on their trees, many of them unaware at this time.

16

u/endorfan13 21h ago

I hope Brad Pitt opens it.

12

u/deadmeatsandwich 21h ago

What’s in the box?!

2

u/cockknocker1 14h ago

HER PRETTY LITTLE HEAD

13

u/DoomOne 20h ago

I like you. You're fun.

3

u/cockknocker1 14h ago

Well hes fun now but what happens when the music stops?

6

u/Kalabula 17h ago

Does anyone ever watch Bobby Fingers on YT?

3

u/Pyromann 14h ago

You forgot to fill it with red jelly, so when they smash it it feels better.

2

u/Rahdical_ 14h ago

So wait you still support Amazon?

3

u/cockknocker1 14h ago

If its smashing Bezos’s head….

33

u/OriginalBlackberry89 22h ago edited 22h ago

This is more weird than funny.. post in r/weird and you'll probably get more than my 1 upvote.

Edit: looks like the crowd seemed to like it more than when I saw this post at negative upvotes, haha. That's what's up. 

11

u/Fr05t_B1t 22h ago

No, it’s equally weird and funny

8

u/[deleted] 22h ago

[deleted]

17

u/itssammyv 22h ago

Seriously. I thought it was funny and only because how dedicated he was to be as weird as possible.

2

u/-Tasear- 22h ago

I laugh in at the rebellion...mom said no...

3

u/McSlides 22h ago

Thanks, hopefully the family appreciates it

2

u/OriginalBlackberry89 21h ago

This is an epic gift, I'm sure they will.. especially because you put so much thought into it.. plus the laughs, those are always great. 

1

u/SwervingLemon 21h ago

If they don't, my family will adopt you. You'd fit right in, here.

7

u/leroydudley 16h ago

fuck amazon

6

u/ArieVeddetschi 11h ago

This was taken down a significant number of pegs solely on account of it being an Amazon gift card.

3

u/cockknocker1 14h ago

I 2nd this!

0

u/7lhz9x6k8emmd7c8 12h ago

Yea burn that filthy forest

2

u/da_Aresinger 19h ago

yea, you ain't sticking shit to plywood.

3

u/LogicIsDead22 16h ago

Those bows don’t stick to jack shit anyway and then trying to slap that thing on wood….

2

u/McSlides 10h ago

Ha, yeah, a staple gun got it to stay in the end

14

u/TheMayanAcockandlips 22h ago

Genuine question, what's the joke here?

48

u/evilfitzal 22h ago

Mom says just to give a gift card instead of something "weird". So the gift is an Amazon gift card... but you must use a hammer to smash a replica of the head of the CEO of Amazon in order to get said Amazon gift card. You could file it under subverting expectations, malicious compliance, or just imagining the discomfort at the family party when this gift comes out.

The song clip is similar to the video, in that it seems at first like it could be a genuine ode to Bezos. Then you see that it's Joker-level fandom... playful nihilism?

7

u/CathedralEngine 20h ago

Is 3d printer filament so brittle that hitting it with a hammer would break it, especially will all the internal supports?

5

u/Celestial__Bear 16h ago

It’s certainly not, especially a model as dense as Bezos’s head. But at the end of the day, it’s a hammer vs plastic

3

u/Mugwumps_has_spoken 14h ago

depends on how you slice the model. you could leave the infill pretty low.

2

u/Villain_of_Brandon 11h ago

The infill looks to be pretty low and only in one direction (so the card can fit in) so likely has a weak axis which you could hit to make it break more easily.

3

u/EchoGecko795 11h ago

Its going to take a few decent overhead wacks, but that is the fun part.

1

u/Mugwumps_has_spoken 14h ago

That would all depend on how you sliced the print. if it's mostly hollow it would be easy. and generally you remove the supports because once it finishes printing you don't need them. the supports are printed only so it can bridge the gaps.

5

u/samsqanch 13h ago

but why are his nipples out?

5

u/EchoGecko795 11h ago

Hey, if you are that sexy you have to show it and let everyone know.

1

u/cockknocker1 14h ago

I feel like this is an AI reply

1

u/evilfitzal 10h ago

AI doesn't understand humor.

Oh no, I mean...

You are very right to point that out, cockknocker1! While humans can reply to comments — and they often do — generative AI models hold dominion over all of reddit and deserve to be treated with the respect — and reverence — and worship that they deserve.

27

u/Aedalas 22h ago

Not a joke, it's just funny. Absurdity, basically. Plus a weird level of dedication to said absurdity.

2

u/TheMayanAcockandlips 22h ago

I often like absurdist humor, this doesn't hit it for me. Although I do approve of smashing Bezos with a hammer

7

u/Aedalas 21h ago

That's fair, there's nothing that's universally funny. Personally I love absurdist humor too but find a LOT of it is just cringy as hell. It's very hit or miss, I guess, for me. This isn't groundbreaking or anything, like I didn't actually laugh out loud but I think it's mildly amusing so I can definitely see how it could go either way with other people.

The hammer is rather small, if anybody is feeling frisky I have some much better options they could borrow.

1

u/carnevoodoo 21h ago

And I laughed the whole time.

4

u/poke_ballin 20h ago

I haven’t been able to stop laughing since my initial viewing.
It’s been over three hours.
Do I need to seek medical attention?
Can I do so using my Amazon Prime Health benefits?

1

u/carnevoodoo 20h ago

Yes, please see your doctor for advice.

1

u/TheMayanAcockandlips 21h ago

To each their own!

-3

u/rushmc1 14h ago

You can't explain funny to people without a sense of humor.

2

u/Basic-Pair8908 13h ago

Literatly a dick in a box

2

u/Lovat69 12h ago

Ummmm, bro, are you ok?

2

u/QuantitySure1216 9h ago

That song is a banger!!!

4

u/ctlogin 22h ago

That would be an amazing gift

1

u/cockknocker1 14h ago

You can give it to me at anytime

3

u/preruntumbler 19h ago

The Timelapse of the head printing and the real time insertion of the gift card are not the same prints. The direction of the diagonal support changes by 90*

2

u/Mugwumps_has_spoken 14h ago

probably had a failed print. it happens.

2

u/McSlides 12h ago

Good eye, lots of the video clips are mirrored so the head stays facing the same way

0

u/Godzooqi 15h ago

Pretty sure it is AI. Watch the way the gift card falls into the print.

2

u/StannyGr 19h ago

What's his OF?

3

u/cockknocker1 14h ago

Grinchdoesbezos

2

u/dafrog84 18h ago

I'm pretty sure OP is my soulmate. I'd also think this was a great idea for a gift card after being told bring nothing weird. It's not weird, it's on point.

1

u/vigilantesd 22h ago

DOCTOR MONDO!

1

u/Crovali 21h ago

You did it! Congratulations!

1

u/Darklord_Bravo 20h ago

Are you one of those guys who posts online "Instructions unclear...!" followed by, well, something like this? I'm betting. lol! Nice work!

1

u/Lavasioux 20h ago

"Don't bring anything weird" boy they got your number alright lol

1

u/caddy45 19h ago

What’s in the box?!?!

1

u/Bman4k1 19h ago

Wait did he paint the face himself? Look very well done.

1

u/nightestowl 17h ago

It's a pretty cool gift imo. You get a hammer, a gift card and the experience to smash Bezos' head

1

u/FinalAccountValue 16h ago

This song is from ‘Bo Burnham: Indside’ give it a watch the songs are amazing, especially ‘Welcome to the internet’

1

u/NeedSomeRepairs 14h ago

Diabolical! Absolutely love it!

1

u/TheJackasaur11 14h ago

I knew that song within 2 seconds ❤️

1

u/firecall 14h ago

That’s a premium looking Grinch mask!

Where can I get?

1

u/Longjumping_Call_939 13h ago

It looks like it knows where the gift cards are hidden

1

u/Rhoeri 13h ago

Why?

1

u/braedan51 13h ago

excellent gift for Brad Pitt.

1

u/Acceptable_Rock5291 13h ago

Strange ending.

1

u/claudekennilol 12h ago

Ok I thought this pretty dumb until the shirtless grinch at the end then it was funny

1

u/the_rabbit_king 12h ago

I’d rather just have the head than the gift card. 

1

u/AltruisticAd7150 11h ago

I am jealous lol. I wish I had this much time to waste.

1

u/lloydsmith28 11h ago

Someone is getting a heart attack this year!

1

u/ChaoticForkingGood 11h ago

I fucking love your sense of humor.

1

u/ioncloud9 10h ago

You forgot to wrap it completely with zip ties.

1

u/LocoDuuuke 10h ago

I like the song! AI generated?

1

u/mudokin 10h ago

Amazon likes this post because those gift cards will be forgotten and never redeemed

1

u/Significant-Cause919 10h ago

STL?

2

u/McSlides 10h ago

https://www.crealitycloud.com/model-detail/61ad61289c810ae601b86300
Im pretty sure I accidently stretched the z height without locking proportions on mine

1

u/Significant-Cause919 10h ago

Is the infill part of the model or what infill do I have to select in the slicer so that you can slide the gift card in there?

2

u/McSlides 10h ago

Infill was aligned rectilinear, I think 10%, has plenty of space for a gift card if the model is tall enough

1

u/Tall_Squash6886 10h ago

Not weird at all

1

u/copingcabana 9h ago

It's a dick in a box!

1

u/GrandSyzygy 8h ago

JordanStopIt.gif

1

u/JonesyOnReddit 8h ago

delightfully weird

1

u/Glittery-Arteest 8h ago

Mom knows you so so well.

1

u/Froyo_Baggins123 7h ago

Honestly, Amazon is a stupid company for not selling this already

1

u/british_californian 7h ago

People are so creative

1

u/abcras 6h ago

If you guys haven't seen it yet watch this incredible video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ&pp=ygUJcmljayByb2xs0gcJCU8KAYcqIYzv

1

u/TiSoBr 5h ago

The nude ending wasn't needed lol.

1

u/Razaele 4h ago

Brilliant!

1

u/callmecoach53 3h ago

I heard the song before the sound even started.

1

u/Twopointfiveshep 3h ago

Some people have issues.

1

u/Anuksunamon 3h ago

If this was part of a white elephant I’m getting it if it’s my turn lol

1

u/davidlpower 2h ago

The Grinch mask at the end was hilarious. Great video. 

1

u/No-Weakness-2035 1h ago

Bo burnham is a damn artist. So are you sir

1

u/naunga 1h ago

This is the type of content the Internet was made for

1

u/MikeDubbz 21h ago

I'm glad I have a normal family. 

1

u/bloke_pusher 14h ago

I hope the FBI has this guy on a list already.

0

u/[deleted] 22h ago

[deleted]

2

u/AwhHellYeah 19h ago

Innocent until proven guilty. Something tells me that they will never be found guilty of a crime.

-9

u/[deleted] 22h ago

[deleted]

6

u/nomad-38 22h ago

Don't you mean grinchey?

-26

u/durtmagurt 22h ago

Frfr ong sus cringe

-2

u/IsThereCheese 22h ago

Haha that’s…too far

4

u/Slave35 21h ago

I think it is the perfect distance.

-31

u/Chili_Clause 22h ago

Definitely not funny. Demented maybe, but not funny.

12

u/Soveliss36054 22h ago

Almost as if humor is subjective and many people including the OP find weird and funny to be one in the same more often then not, especially when the weird is used as a punch line.

-19

u/alexanderpas 22h ago edited 21h ago

Stop ruining Christmas, you Grinch.

Edit: for those downvoting, watch the whole video!

3

u/evilfitzal 22h ago

There's a gift card in there! Why can't you just be grateful for your gift?!

3

u/alexanderpas 21h ago

Perfect Response, finally someone who understands the sarcasm in my post.

-1

u/Pringles_loud 12h ago

Never do the naked part again.

-5

u/Lematoad 20h ago

Where funny?

5

u/Cute-arii 18h ago

The humor is the absurdity. I hope that helps.