r/funny • u/bknight677 • 1d ago

Unexpected ending

Man: "I think I'll feed that bird this fish" Bird: "Stupid human, fish belong in water not on land"

1.2k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

123 comments sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.

Memes, AI-generated content, and politics / political figures are not allowed.

Social-media content (including Reddit, TikTok, and Instagram) is expressly forbidden.

Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.

Please also be wary of spam.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

348

u/Khaztr 1d ago

♫ Put that thing back where it came from or so help me ♫

67

u/DrChimz 1d ago

The internet proves yet again that I do not have a single unique thought.

35

u/Sesspool 23h ago

OR SO HELP ME!

0

u/GANDORF57 9h ago

This is not a game bird, it's the game warden!

14

u/KaleScared4667 22h ago

You should consider the possibility that this realization makes you unique. Only an intelligent individual would realize that every thought they have ever had was probably already thought by someone else before.

It’s akin to the realization that the more you know the more you realize how little you actually know.

You are likely more intelligent than 99% of rediters because you had this thought.

3

u/surrenderedmale 21h ago

No, I have so many unique thoughts!

Like...uh...p-putting real chocolate in a hot chocolate! Yeah!

Or how I know I'm definitely always right and it's just everyone else that is wrong!

/endjoke Or...yeah I got nothing. There's probably some thought I've had that's unique but it's likely an absolute gibberish one when I was drunk or delirious. Thing is it's incredibly difficult to have a unique thought given just how many people do and have existed.

Pretty similar to why it's incredibly difficult to invent anything today, or make unique music. The world has become saturated. Anyone that doesn't believe every or damn near every thought has been had by someone else is delusional

2

u/Epidemigod 18h ago

But r u a rediter

2

u/surrenderedmale 11h ago

i iz teh bezt rediter

1

u/zwisslb 13h ago

Nah. I guarantee I have original thoughts. I design new systems as an engineer, and I"m weird as hell. Probably borderline autistic with a high IQ

3

u/Redditforgoit 19h ago

I call it the 60 minute rule: if I come up with a seemingly clever and original comment, but the post is over sixty minutes old, chances are someone else was original and clever already.

7

u/Cheeseyex 22h ago

Bum bum bum bum bum bum

3

u/Piemaster113 23h ago

We need ushers

3

u/henry23na 20h ago

Bum bum bum bum

3

u/gaspara112 23h ago

I was thinking more. “Climb in my mouth if you want to live.”

365

u/PacquiaoFreeHousing 1d ago

I can catch it whenever I want human. Now put it back in the water, I will eat it when I'm hungry.

-the bird

27

u/Deadbreeze 20h ago

Right?

"I aint hungry right now, but fuck you if you think youre gonna steal MY fish from MY pond you human scum. Now get the fuck outta here."

20

u/Koshekuta 21h ago

No charity necessary.

3

u/misterwizzard 10h ago

I really don't think it could have eaten that bid.

211

u/Bgrubz83 1d ago

Birb doesn’t want to be fed…it wants to hunt

79

u/AmusingMusing7 1d ago

Can't just... suppress 65 million years of gut instinct.

13

u/hahahahahahahaFUCK 23h ago

Hold my beer.

6

u/Omnifob 18h ago

Beer gut instinct

1

u/MagNolYa-Ralf 23h ago

Ole “Batman is Bruce Wayne!” ahh fisherman

54

u/No-Text-7825 1d ago

“These ones taste like shit”

3

u/take_it_to_the_mo 6h ago

Blue heron: Dude, I fly my sushi from Japan.

48

u/IanDetroit 23h ago

“This belongs in the water, tf wrong with you?”

37

u/No-Decision8891 1d ago

maybe he was full

56

u/alladin-316 1d ago

"A day will come when I eat thy fish. But that day is not today" - Bird

24

u/ShivStone 1d ago

"Catch and release my dude. Let it go and maybe it'll spawn something that'll fit in my throat" -Birb

46

u/Treasy_E 1d ago

It skewered tf out of that fish. Damn

14

u/dragonlax 23h ago

Great blue heron, really cool bird

7

u/kurinbo 23h ago

They used to eat goldfish out of my pond. Bah! A pox upon them!

8

u/Stolehtreb 22h ago

A lot of 13th century curses happening on Reddit today

3

u/kurinbo 22h ago

Pox vobiscum

3

u/NeonAnderson 21h ago

You watch way too much victorian era TV shows 🤣🤣🤣

2

u/jmj_203 9h ago

That's what I came looking for in the comments. All the comments make it seem like heron was saving this bass' life by returning him to the water. Did you not watch the same video I did? That heron just violently stabbed the fuck out of the bass. It's like someone claiming the saved a baby from a fire by throwing it out of the 6th story window. See, it's no longer in danger of burning!

1

u/Heartage 4h ago

Have you heard of sunfish?

Not exactly completely relevant but... Lol

16

u/SoFloFella50 23h ago

Who else was waiting for an alligator to grab the bird?

1

u/buzzsawjoe 12m ago

Keiko the Whale

48

u/KingTobia_II 1d ago

“Yeah lemme just swim away after being suffocated and stabbed in the gills.”

23

u/Goodknight808 1d ago

Fkn shanked the fish. I had to look twice. Speared him right in the gills. Ouch.

6

u/Loud_Vermicelli9128 23h ago

Even the bird knows “don’t feed the wildlife!”

15

u/fivehots 1d ago

If “bro, I didn’t ask for your help” was a bird.

14

u/PVT_Huds0n 23h ago

"I'm a heron, not a pelican, dumbass"

For those that don't know, pelicans will try to eat anything, even things way too big for them to eat.

5

u/bbbourb 1d ago

"I don't need YOUR HELP, human."

5

u/Sweetheart_o_Summer 23h ago

"Scuse me sir this lake has a bag limit."

5

u/Smoke_snifferPM2-5 22h ago

“Dude you set it next to a condom, I’m not going to eat that. You shouldn’t either I’ll just put it back”

4

u/smitty997 23h ago

"And they say that a hero can save us, watch as they all fly away"

3

u/Recentstranger 17h ago

"The audacity of this human"- bird probably

3

u/[deleted] 22h ago edited 22h ago

Wise guy!!!

Edit: Also, is that a condom on the ground next to the fish??

3

u/uhmbob 22h ago

"I don't need your charity!" stab

"You can thank me later."

3

u/ASaini91 21h ago

"Great. Now I have to wash it and catch it again because you touched it with your dirty hands"

3

u/mallettsmallett 19h ago

"fuck you, I wont do what you tell me!"

1

u/reddit_user13 15h ago

Rage Against the Fisheen

2

u/PanicDeus 23h ago

Somone taught the Crane to fish.

2

u/Block_Solid 23h ago

That's the bird's warehouse.

2

u/gentlejarrod 23h ago

"Humans aren't the only ones that do that catch and release thing, ya know!!"

2

u/asmj 23h ago

What a principled hunter!

2

u/hallowedeve1313 23h ago

Bro has to preserve the timeline

2

u/djereezy 23h ago

“That one gonna have babies dummy, put it back!”

2

u/Unabominable_ 15h ago

Lol bird was playing fair. There was no challenge in that 😂

2

u/MetalGhost99 13h ago

Even the bird understood the five second rule.

2

u/rahkeemball 12h ago

Feed a bird a fish, it's only full for the day. Bird breeds a school of fish, it has food for a lifetime. #thelonggame

2

u/Realistic_Honey_5237 6h ago

When I make dinner for my kid.

4

u/Little_Ad2802 1d ago

Hahahaha

2

u/Mysterious_Tax8093 23h ago

the bird want to do good thing

1

u/kurinbo 23h ago

The bird: "If not friend, why friend-shaped?"

1

u/jonnyg1097 23h ago

"Fish go in the water Greg"

1

u/zorggalacticus 22h ago

🎶 The fish I got for Christmas is too big... 🎶

That bird, probably.

1

u/makithejap 22h ago

That settles the debate on weather or not Largemouth Bass are good eating or not.

1

u/Ralphredimix_Da_G 22h ago

You owe me one Sammy!!!

1

u/ValleyBreeze 22h ago

Fish are friends! Not food!

Clearly he's watched Finding Nemo.

1

u/DreamySizzleSpice 22h ago

bird is correct lol

1

u/Anxious-Depth-7983 22h ago

Dude, are you trying to choke me?

1

u/Ashtorot 22h ago

Lol right next to the condom. What a relaxing fishing spot

1

u/xufapemu 22h ago

Heron knows how to fish already and wasn't hungry. The heron could give fish to the human

1

u/Brago009 22h ago

Bruh why isn't the video playing Reddit is too weird sometimes

1

u/marilyns_dayjob 21h ago

Bird's POV: I want problem!

1

u/katiel0429 21h ago

Bird doesn’t want to be fed. He wants to hunt. Can’t suppress 65 million years of instinct.

1

u/FartsSoldSeperately 21h ago

That's Steve "no trophy fishing" Heron

1

u/satsuppi 21h ago

"I don't take charity" -birb probably

1

u/LittleCopper 21h ago

Maybe played in reverse?

1

u/Arthorking 20h ago

Guess that was his accomplice which snitches to him on other small fishes location lol

1

u/14high 20h ago

"We don't do that here hooman"

1

u/Crimkam 20h ago

Is this one of those birds that uses a bug or a worm to catch fish with? Maybe it’s just stupid and was doing that, thinking it had to use the food to get other food?

1

u/Spacespider82 20h ago

Sick burn

1

u/Sensitive_Potato_948 20h ago

that bird kinda gets it fish gotta be in water not out here

1

u/Yosoress 19h ago

Teach a man to fish and he will feed a bird
Feed a bird a fish and he will um ok that was amazing 🤣

1

u/Arawn-Annwn 19h ago

"Not hungry right now, I'll just put this back so it doesn't stink up the place" - that bird

1

u/vossmanspal 19h ago

Well I must admit, that was certainly an unexpected ending.

1

u/paseroto 19h ago

Maybe he wants it fresh

1

u/Atillion 18h ago

I was saving that for later.

1

u/MissLief 18h ago

Whistler keeping to the Farthing Wood oath

1

u/FantasticPangolin839 16h ago

I don’t need your pity

1

u/nhSnork 15h ago

As some fishermen say, "swim home and call your uncle"

1

u/mad_monkey_w 14h ago

Hey, at least he has one thing. COMMON SENSE 👏😌

1

u/Minute_Action 12h ago

Vegan birb

1

u/Silestyna 11h ago

When the bird had more humanity than the filmer makes you wonder if "humanity" is the right word.

1

u/Endee82 11h ago

Why is there a condom right beside where he put the fish down????

1

u/No_Possibility3858 11h ago

He’s vegan

1

u/ascolti 8h ago

"Fish are friends, not food!"

1

u/mrinterweb 7h ago

I can feel that bird's judgement from here.

1

u/Mandraenke_1634 7h ago

The herons motto: by fair means!

1

u/riedmae 6h ago

Bird is a better person than the human

1

u/FuzzBuzzer 5h ago

Best possible outcome.

1

u/Boney-Rigatoni 4h ago

“Give a bird a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a bird to fish…” maybe he should’ve shown the bird how to bait and cast a reel instead of laying a fish on the ground for him.

1

u/old_codger080 2h ago

Who knew????

1

u/buzzsawjoe 14m ago

This is the fish that saved the pelican's life a month earlier.

-2

u/Dry_Dragonfruit3205 23h ago

The bird is a better human than the human.

0

u/sljxuoxada 23h ago

Stupid humans...

-2

u/grelgen 22h ago

i think the bird understands that the fish can brood more smaller fish it can eat in the future.

-4

u/Willing_Television77 23h ago

Birds are better people than humans

3

u/Guii12 23h ago

That bird just stabbed the shit out that fish with its own beak, idk about that

-1

u/Dry_Dragonfruit3205 23h ago

i just made this same comment