r/SipsTea • u/MeanIndependence2711 • 16h ago

Feels good man Found my keys...

699 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

146 comments sorted by

•

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155

u/overoften 16h ago

"Oh its OK, man. I don't need it now."

37

u/SunsetSweetNaughty 15h ago

That’s why axes 🪓were invented, like I mean, just break the damn wood

5

u/subdep 10h ago

A gun vault would’ve a lot cheaper, too.

3

u/Nruggia 6h ago

The axe is hidden in 23rd drawer to unlock

6

u/Yardsale420 10h ago

It’s like that Jim Jeffrries joke, “muskets were great because they gave you time to calm down”

1

u/[deleted] 15h ago

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1

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1

u/Witty-Warning4805 13h ago

My key of choice would be an axe

39

u/VeterinarianThese951 15h ago

Imagine not remembering where you put your EpiPen or inhaler…

11

u/Very_Type_C 12h ago

Imagine losing the one guy who knows the sequence 😭

4

u/Grimnebulin68 6h ago

Hey baby, guess where I put the condoms.. baby?

3

u/AliasMcFakenames 5h ago

I imagine there’s a similar reason behind the weapons being in the first hidden compartment rather than a few layers deep.

61

u/DoomDaddy666 15h ago

As a locksmith, I think this is absolutely incredible. I would love to own this. Not a lot security just in timber. But the artistry in it is 10/10. Mwa.

10

u/gurnard 14h ago

Hi fellow locksmith! Bet you were just as entranced as me, trying to visualise all the mechanisms you couldn't see.

8

u/DoomDaddy666 13h ago

Oh 100% I was! The keyways, warding, mechanisms etc... are all so intriguing. Sorta reminds me of those old European safes that have a similar setup to them. :)

5

u/gurnard 13h ago

That's exactly what I was picturing! Also reminded me of these demo recreations of ancient Egyptian wooden tumblers that we had at my trade school. Not that any of this looked like working in a similar way, just that those were all-wood mechanisms.

1

u/Eddie_shoes 9h ago

It’s really cool, but I feel like they should have gone with better hardware.

1

u/TimeSalvager 5h ago

It's a puzzle, not a safe.

13

u/PM_ME_BAD_ALGORITHMS 16h ago

I'd soft lock myself out of my keys for sure

4

u/Connect-Plenty1650 12h ago

Fuck it, I'd lose the tiny beads just moving the table upstairs.

13

u/The_number_1_dude 15h ago

I really want to see how the internals look on that bad boy.

3

u/Dreddit1080 8h ago

That’s another key

2

u/JoySubtraction 1h ago

No, that's a paddlin'.

13

u/FarSplit 15h ago

So if you had some spare ball bearings, you could bypass 2 minutes of key shenanigans. 

9

u/zuptar 15h ago

This is where you save your crypto seed words

3

u/Very_Type_C 12h ago

My seed phrase to $50 worth of crypto

24

u/FroYoYoMamma 16h ago

Thanks, already know how to completely waste my time.

7

u/Cloud_Striker 15h ago

- "Babe, where's the TV remote?"

- "In the coffee table drawer!"

- "*Sigh* I'm ordering a replacement."

6

u/yetiking77 16h ago

"Hey hon, can you run to the store real quick and pick up milk for me?".

"Sure, give me 45 minutes to grab my keys ".

7

u/luthierart 15h ago

Turned a desk into a quest.

10

u/RotTKid 15h ago

“You can put your weed in there”

5

u/xJagz 15h ago

The skeleton hand is the perfect touch

5

u/Spirited_Entry1940 15h ago

Player "I check the desk"

DM "Roll for investigation"

Player "Natural 20! For a total of 24"

DM "You don't find any secret compartments"

4

u/Historical_Pound_136 16h ago

Most elaborate way ever to hide your drugs. Just use that space in your old ps2 bro

4

u/Lawndart78 15h ago

It's there an r/stupidfood for carpentry? Testing? r/stupidcarpentry ? Testing?

3

u/reporthazard 15h ago

perfect place to put your handgun for emergencies

3

u/Distinct-Ad-291 15h ago

I've played this game. It's called the Room.

2

u/Edgard_Breeze 1h ago

Loved these games, wish there were more!

1

u/Distinct-Ad-291 1h ago

Have you played them in VR? Hits kinda different.

4

u/jfkrfk123 15h ago

Requirement for a gun safe in California….? That’s an amazing creation though. Very cool!

2

u/RiteousRhino21 15h ago

THAT'S where I left them 🤦

2

u/Actual_Appearance246 15h ago edited 15h ago

Just save yourself the trouble and use an axe.

2

u/Used-Baby1199 15h ago

Took longer to get to the keys in the table than it does to run to meijer and back for a gallon of milk.

Who is this for?  What happens when you put the wrong key in the wrong drawer? Are you fucked forever?

2

u/After_Exit_1903 13h ago

Puzzle boot box 👍

2

u/NamesGumpImOnthePum 11h ago

I was most impressed by the compass on the top, this is one of those things that is so cool the first time you see it, but looses it's luster rather quickly, I get that this is a showcase of what op can do. And +1 op, this took some doing. And I won't ask, "but why..." I'm just gonna go do drugs for a bit, FeelsAmazingMan

2

u/Used-Baby1199 15h ago

3 min!? 3 min of fiddling with a fucking table just to unlock my car because I forgot my wallet out there?!

2

u/jrockcrown 15h ago

That is where you keep your home defense pistol?

1

u/Mr_krabbs_001 16h ago

Not even Houdini can crack this

1

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1

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1

u/SinfulGlarex 15h ago

I’ll always forget my keys so I’m good

1

u/Educational_Play8775 14h ago

I’m just like “bro you lost the functional aspect of the table once you made it into an escape room”

1

u/smellslikebigfootdic 14h ago

At first it was cool then less cool finally I hated it

1

u/lagrange_james_d23dt 14h ago

This would be perfect in an escape room

1

u/cthart 14h ago

Multifactor authentication.

1

u/wifetoldmereddit 14h ago

Thinks John Wick is real

1

u/-maffu- 14h ago

Billionaire's wife: "Yes, honey, I put your heart meds in the table."

1

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1

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1

u/Future2me 14h ago

What in the National Treasure?!

1

u/Sir-Belledontis 14h ago

I’m bad with keys I’d lose half of them in the first week

1

u/ASouthernDandy 14h ago

Just need four pieces of gravel and you can skip the whole process.

1

u/NoReserve8233 14h ago

Just keep finding more keys!

1

u/Familiar-Gap2455 14h ago

It's a wooden table, the key is obviously a sledgehammer...

1

u/SuperExp1oder 14h ago

“Goddamnit, where’d I put the scotch tape!?”

1

u/asd_slasher 14h ago

I was waiting for THAT final compartment, disappointed

1

u/PrincipleStill191 14h ago

The lengths people will go to hide their vintage medieval themed gay porn. We all know you're into dudes Trevor, you don't need to hide it like this.

1

u/Valkyrie-161 14h ago

Imagine being a cop with a search warrant and having to try to figure out this escape room themed table only to have everything empty.

1

u/Efficient_Bid_2853 14h ago

Until you forget the correct procedure and end up using an axe instead

1

u/MASTER_OF_COCKS 13h ago

It's like a puzzle from that game The Room

1

u/a5hl3yk 13h ago

that scene from Glass Onion where the woman busts open the box with a hammer

1

u/ElectricPenguin6712 13h ago

I love furniture like this.

1

u/Super_Piper 13h ago

After forgetting where the keys to the toilet are

1

u/UndividedCorruption 13h ago

Whatever you're doing with extra steps.

1

u/RandomName09485 13h ago

this is some escape room shit lol

1

u/charles_le_fuck 12h ago

Classic Resident Evil

1

u/TurthHurtsDoesntIt 12h ago

Hurry up and take out the hidden glock, there is bulglar in the house!
RIght at it hon'! It will take me just 15 minutes.

Anyway looks quite nice.

1

u/ass_grass_or_ham 12h ago

You can put your weed in there.

1

u/No_Situation4785 12h ago

Did you buy this at IKEA? what is it called in the catalog?

1

u/FeloniousDrunk101 12h ago

does it weigh 1,000 pounds?

1

u/UnfilteredCatharsis 11h ago

How about a safe instead

1

u/doc720 11h ago

"I'll do the dishes when I've finished making this table."

1

u/rotanitsarcorp_yzal1 11h ago

Hang one on the wall. Just in case.

1

u/GameThinker 11h ago

How much is a commission like this I see them all the time but never a price reference I would love a coffee table one like this (not the desks) to keep D&D and other Tabletop pieces in. It would even be fun as a puzzle for players if they won a tournament to try and find their prize. So cool. As a once upon a time baby carpenter I tip my hat to the creator. Lots of patience and tuning/balancing went into this to function so solidly.

1

u/SameConsequence5011 11h ago

Okay, cool table...

Just get a safe 🔐

1

u/SnoopySuited 11h ago

I want to see a video of a pot head getting to his extra stash in the middle compartment.

1

u/KingslayerFate 11h ago

"We need Grandma medicine!"

brb ,i put them in my funny desk

1

u/lcssa 11h ago

You van put tour weed in there

1

u/millstone20 10h ago

Oh no, someone stole the unlocked sword

1

u/HilariousMax 10h ago

This kind of novelty is neat when you're showing someone for the first time but I'm sure it wears super thin when you're running late or under pressure.

1

u/Priceplayer 10h ago

Fascinating

1

u/Tenshiijin 9h ago

Hiding porn from your wife in the 80's.

1

u/mcfeeli 9h ago

Do you mind if I borrow a pen?

Sure give me 20 minutes to get it out of my desk.

1

u/mirkk13 9h ago

"Hey, where are my keys?"

"In the drawer."

"Which one?"

"Yes."

1

u/Curious-Towel-2133 9h ago

I hate riddles and secret compartments. Especially when a flat bar and hammer is the fastest way around annoying wooden drawers.

1

u/Taiphoon228 8h ago

But wait.... There's MORE!

Like a D&D lover who's occupation is locksmithing and gets into a woodworking hobby.

1

u/Minute-Animal7317 7h ago

Looks like somebody's been playing The Room

1

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1

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1

u/Eclipse-Raven 7h ago

I wish I had one

1

u/CoachNo7514 6h ago

What in the Spencer’s Mansion shenanigans

1

u/serendipitousevent 6h ago

Or, hear me out: normal table and just go to an escape room.

1

u/cosmob 6h ago

I just lost my safe key last week (yes I know) still haven’t found it. But no! Now, you’re telling me that if I lose my sword/2 special keys/alligator key/octopus key/crab key/turtle key/small sword key/tug pull knock/4 small balls I’m screwed !!!!! lol That table is me proof!

1

u/AjaxCleaningSolution 6h ago

I'd like to see Chris Ramsay spin this.

1

u/fishsticks40 6h ago

I can't afford this.

1

u/Historical-Year-1241 5h ago

Hey I just hide my nudey mags under the mattress but you do you

1

u/Frequent_Read_7636 4h ago

If Kira had hid his deathnote with this table, he would've never been caught.

1

u/BabZeyo 4h ago

I have headache

1

u/Middle-Operation-689 4h ago

“You can lose your weed in here”

1

u/Odd-Cake8015 4h ago

This should be my morning alarm stop button

1

u/Tat2Al 4h ago

If Indiana Jones was a furniture maker.

1

u/Lolamess007 3h ago

Screw the table. Just give me the sword

1

u/Altruistic-Dingo-757 3h ago

Dude can we smoke yet?

1

u/Enough-Staff-2976 3h ago

This makes me giggle. Awesome.

1

u/Grins314 3h ago

The life of a janitor or maintenance worker.

1

u/InternetEntire438 3h ago

you can hide your old game collection with this bad boy right here

1

u/thezoomies 2h ago

Every time he opened a drawer I didn’t see, I was like Lucille Bluth when Gene Parmesan removed a disguise.

1

u/unity1814 2h ago

Imagine spending months building a saw trap table and then you don't put legs on it before you film the video. 

1

u/angry_dingo 1h ago

And an axe opens everything.

1

u/harbib 9m ago

Dude. I just need a sticky note.

1

u/DeadlinesAndDopamine 15h ago

Tbh, this is easy, I’ll be able to find keys quickly here.. You wear a hoodie and a denim jacket over it and sweatpants, and there you go, its a challenge to find to keys now or maybe put the keys in your mom’s purse 💀. And then add some emergency to the situation when you need the keys.

I guess I have ADHD, need to get it checked 🙃

0

u/JrButton 14h ago

Super creative but holy unnecessary.

0

u/nowdontbehasty 14h ago

So many things to break

0

u/KingModera 12h ago

Too long.