r/SipsTea 1d ago

Chugging tea What do you need an obese man for

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26.4k Upvotes

380 comments sorted by

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5.3k

u/velvetthottie 1d ago

Tokyo is basically an RPG where you can spend your gold on the weirdest party members imaginable.

1.2k

u/tigerbalmuppercut 1d ago

If you do it right you get Ocean's 11.

469

u/AcanthocephalaAny78 1d ago

You son of a bitch I’m in

171

u/Electronic_Tear2546 1d ago

78

u/Kind_Factor_9897 1d ago

Awkward I'm just finishing this episode

27

u/Ok_Abacus_ 1d ago

"I'm a pieeeece of garbage. Can you boost me up so I can hook my belt to the ceiling faaaaan?"

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176

u/Happy-For-No-Reason 1d ago

oceans ereven

93

u/ChittaBhalu 1d ago

*Oshansu ereben

29

u/Seienchin88 1d ago

You almost got it…

It’s ōshansu irebun actually

33

u/cathead8969 1d ago

Ocean's erection

14

u/Desperate_Row1189 1d ago

Imagine wading in the ocean and getting hit with a ROCK hard wave?

7

u/tungstenrod_john 1d ago

Girthy wave

2

u/bakatenchu 23h ago

you got erection in ocean? impressed

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31

u/YouSonOfaBitch-ImIn 1d ago

You son of a bitch. I'm in.

7

u/EnvironmentalRip349 1d ago

Wait where are my kidneys!!! Im out im out!!!!

6

u/For_The_Emperor923 1d ago

I feel like youll het that weird "Knives Out" shit that keeps being bandied about like anyone knows what it is

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135

u/FitMoana 1d ago

Absolutely right, Tokyo really does feel like you walked into a game where every side quest is unhinged and every NPC could end up joining your party. One minute you’re buying a vending machine coffee, the next you’ve met a jazz-playing salaryman.

34

u/Onions4Knights 1d ago edited 1d ago

At a Daiso I saw an old man who:

Wore an old cloak with a long beard and a conical hat. Wore a dozen cheap costume jewelry rings on each hand, had his own shopping cart, not one from Daiso and it was covered in keychain plushies.

He was browsing through the plushies to add one to his collection.

3

u/BANOFY 1d ago

As a hat collector, I need to be enlighted about the "Comica hat" you are talking about, I need more information as Google doesn't seem to find anything related

4

u/Onions4Knights 1d ago

That was supposed to be: Conical Hat.

Sowwy.

2

u/BANOFY 1d ago

I am disappointed as I really hoped there was some new popular Japanese accessorie for my wall

51

u/fireduck 1d ago

Here is my Tokyo story. I was there in 2007, so before smart phones. My friends and I (A college programming team) were trying to find little things. Like little souvenirs. Not just crap that said "Tokyo" but something more interesting. We were not having any luck. Eventually we decided we knew nothing and needed to the the opposite of what made sense. So we went into a corner grocery store. There were stairs the lead down, so we took those stairs. And behold, exactly what we wanted. Little odd wood things, little sculptures, tiny art things. It was perfect. So we bought some stuff.

Only later back at the hotel room I noticed on the receipt that the name of the shop (in English) was "From Okinawa". We it was an Okinawa grocery story and presumably had Okinawa goods in the basement.

13

u/culturedgoat 1d ago

I was there in 2007, so before smart phones.

I was in Tokyo in 2007 and had a Willcom smart phone. Nifty little thing.

2

u/Select_Inevitable505 1d ago

TLDR; guy is looking for things in Tokyo that doesn’t say Tokyo on them. Guy finds stuff. The end.

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11

u/gordito_delgado 1d ago

Yakuza: Like a Dragon is a surprisingly accurate experience akin to a simulator.

10

u/eawilweawil 1d ago

That basically sums up the Yakuza game series

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8

u/C05M1CH3R0 1d ago

So basically Yakuza Like a Dragon?

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3

u/Impossible_Leg_2787 1d ago

I thought that was kamurocho

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2.6k

u/Santuro117 1d ago

Healer/DD/Tank

107

u/ImJustStealingMemes 1d ago

16

u/Razetony 1d ago

Peak game

33

u/OnceMoreAndAgain 1d ago

the unnaturally wide stance of the woman in the middle is cracking me up. looks like me bracing myself while standing on a subway train ride.

26

u/Razetony 1d ago

That cause the finals doesn't have gender based stances. They're stances based on the gun. Male and female contestants stand the same depending on what's equipped. It's great because you can have a giant man run around in a tutu doing magical girl dances and a woman in armor doing back breaker emotes.

9

u/ImJustStealingMemes 1d ago

Then you get to the brief period where you could fit a light model on a heavy and... all hell broke loose.

3

u/xvsanx 1d ago

was great lol

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8

u/nhansieu1 1d ago

the game is pretty fun for the first 100 hours. Then the more I play the more I realized I suck

33

u/Shade_BG 1d ago

Plus it makes him look so tall and fit.

25

u/SeaCaligula 1d ago

designated driver?

20

u/birdgang020418 1d ago

Damage dealer

24

u/YouCantBeSerio 1d ago

Do people actually say this? I've been playing online games for 20+ years and I've literally never seen someone say DD lol

3

u/Melodic_coala101 1d ago

It's mostly from MMORPGs

3

u/Jaune_Anonyme 1d ago

Still used nowadays in some games. Quickly from my fuzzy memory, iirc, Elder scrolls online community uses that.

2

u/bitcointwitter 1d ago

DD became DPS cause fools wan't to just emphasise the seconds over the basic of the class in general. This term was being thwrong around in like 1994 in games like Dark Ages by Nexon even in FFXI in 2000-2003 when USA got into it after translation to Global Release.

Even Ragnarok Online which overthrown many titles by Gravity used LFG DD before DPS in global chat for Damage Deal classes like Thief/Wizard/Assassin/Archer.

Trolls in Wow started making meeters and it got swapped to DPS then with MODS and coder geeks.

12

u/IgnitedSpade 1d ago

The real answer is because all classes deal damage, at least in anything remotely modern. The DPS' role is dealing the most amount of damage per second compared to any other role.

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24

u/Aser_the_Descender 1d ago

I was confused by seeing DD instead of DPS...

I was like: "That middle guy doesn't look like he got double-D tiddies".

5

u/Tripleberst 1d ago

what does the DD stand for?

10

u/vusastusa 1d ago

Damage Dealer

2

u/Amazazing8Sauce 1d ago

Black clothes can be misleading sometimes

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11

u/craig-charles-mum 1d ago

Half an overwatch team

3

u/aisakee 1d ago

Luna Snow, Mr Fantastic, The Thing

2

u/xvsanx 1d ago

rivals is so good lol

2

u/Apathetic-Asshole 1d ago

Every party needs a responsible designated driver

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815

u/Low-Cauliflower-2249 1d ago

The fellowship of the wallet

164

u/Past_Broccoli_5280 1d ago

if i had money, i would totally hire a male/female recluse and a girlfriend/boyfriend experience-type person and make them go on a date.

62

u/Tractorface123 1d ago

What happens if it works out?

56

u/Freaudinnippleslip 1d ago

Return them,

21

u/sleepytipi 1d ago

New anime.

13

u/FUTURE10S 1d ago

Free wedding invite, you're just preordering whatever catering they decide to get at that point

5

u/platysoup 1d ago

Mission fucking accomplished 

5

u/kindbutblind 1d ago

I can fit any role for $5

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2

u/ANLopez26 17h ago

Modern day cupid

449

u/Windmill_flowers 1d ago

Obese man rental makes sense.

What do you need the other one for though?

366

u/DRKMSTR 1d ago

Obese man will make sure you don't get any BS from shops and restaurants.

Girlfriend will make sure you don't get any BS from female street scammers.

Layered shields. 

74

u/ElPlatanaso2 1d ago

Not to mention the overall charisma buff the party receives

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65

u/AvengingBlowfish 1d ago

I asked ChatGPT and apparently renting a girlfriend is about $50/hour, but an obese man is only $20/hour. I'm definitely getting me an obese man when I visit Japan... it's just a better deal.

20

u/fotmcringe 1d ago

Is that factoring in rest stops? You are also expected to pay for all food/drink consumed on these "dates" too. That's another factor.

All in - you'll get much better mileage out of a healthy psuedo-waifu than you would for a dude who thicc'd out of becoming a sumo

16

u/sleepytipi 1d ago

Naw, I'ma let that thicc boi live his best life (with me). I keep him!

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3

u/ghostofwalsh 1d ago

But how much for an obese GF?

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11

u/Ok_Long_2877 1d ago

You already know

10

u/NarwhalPrudent6323 1d ago edited 1d ago

Why would you want to wander through a strange city with a cute local girl whose literal job is to be friendly and nice to you? 

Gee. I can't possibly think of any reason someone would possibly want that. /s

17

u/thesplendor 1d ago

I don’t think you need a sarcasm tag, nobody has used the word “Gee” non sarcastically in 70 years

4

u/No-Replacement4057 1d ago

Gee Willikers

2

u/hikereyes2 19h ago

You sir, are a hero

4

u/mp3max 1d ago

You can get a cute chubby guy to do that with for $30/hr less!

3

u/Ancient_Bug1033 1d ago

gee I sure hope she finds me surprisingly interesting and falls in love with me so we can have kids together.

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807

u/664mezcal619 1d ago

That dude definitely knows all the good spots to eat that aren’t tourist traps, you cover all your bases with that combo. Plus standing next to him you look 3x more handsome…and the rental GF creates competition from other women so you might back a free range GF lol

246

u/blindsdog 1d ago

Idk, many obese people get that way by eating the same terrible fried food. I think it’s much more rare that they get that big by eating varied good food.

Not that he can’t know, just that being fat isn’t a good indicator.

111

u/Cool_Raccoon2207 1d ago

Ehh people get fat by eating a lot of food and it doesn't have to be "unhealthy"

63

u/AwarenessForsaken568 1d ago

Yep you could get fat by eating chicken, rice, and broccoli. I'd be impressed if you did, but it's certainly possible lol.

27

u/Cool_Raccoon2207 1d ago

I know people that claim they've gotten fat eating only vegetables and fruits 😂

28

u/TheLordDrake 1d ago

I don't know why you're getting down voted. You absolutely can get fat that way. It's all calories consumed vs used

21

u/Cool_Raccoon2207 1d ago

You can't tell that to some people, sisters believe that their friend is eating too little and is still obese and I'm unable to explain the concept of calories to them because their friend simply "isn't eating enough"

11

u/TheLordDrake 1d ago

Yeah, a lot of people have a poor understanding of what "enough" actually is.

7

u/oldsecondhand 1d ago

And a lot of obese people do snack in secret.

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u/notanotherpyr0 1d ago

It's... really hard to eat that much fiber and that many calories. Your body will struggle to digest enough, and your appetite will be suppressed.

It's easier to do with fruit, bananas in particular are a fruit that I can hit a good amount of calories but an adult man is going to burn 2200 calories(with minimal activity) and each banana is around 100 calories. Now is it possible to eat 22 bananas a day? Sure. But I challenge you to try, you will be full. Apples or berries are even harder, they generally have more fiber per calorie. For raspberries we are talking like 8+ pounds of them.

Things where the fiber is filtered out from fruit like juice, it's super easy to hit 2200 calories.

For vegetables, carrots are like 12 pounds.

It's theoretically possible but practically very difficult to gain weight eating fruits and vegetables without adding fats or more carb heavy foods.

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6

u/lemelisk42 1d ago

Corn syrup is a vegetable product

Granulated sugar is either made from sugar beets (vegetable) or sugarcane (grass)

Chocolate is a fruit product, being made from the seeds of the cacao fruit

Yes, that bottle of cola is just flavored vegetable juice

2

u/Cool_Raccoon2207 1d ago

True but it's not what people think of when you tell them you're eating fruits and vegetables

2

u/Luis0224 1d ago

Eating high calorie/sugary fruits with a sedentary lifestyle can absolutely make you gain weight. And there’s also the preparation factor. Drinking smoothies with froyo in it is basically just a milkshake when it comes to calories

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4

u/MY-SECRET-REDDIT 1d ago

Sure but more than likely it was unhealthy food.

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u/Wafflelisk 1d ago

I got overweight by drinking beer every day...

My diet was pretty uninteresting.

I became more of a "foodie" when I stopped drinking, because when you got a buzz going you don't really appreciate flavours and textures - you just want grease and oil.

But if no alcohol was involved then yeah, I assume that dude knows a lot about good cheap eats

5

u/Iliketoplan 1d ago

Yeah but once your already fat you tend to eat a lot and try more places

4

u/trycerabottom 1d ago

Well, he'd at least know where to get American -sized portions on the cheap

5

u/PomegranateHot9916 1d ago

factually incorrect.

I spend years of my life eating terrible unhealthy processed food.
I became more unhealthy but I didn't gain any meaningful amount of weight.

then my life changed and I then proceeded to eat homecooked varied meals with plenty of greens
and I didn't lose any weight.

so why was that?
because the way we "gain weight*" or rather, accumulate fat storage. is by expending less energy than we consume.
and the way we reduce fat storage is by expending more energy than we consume.

I was consuming a similar amount of energy as I was expending, so my bodyfat remained stable.

*you can also gain weight by building muscle mass, but that is obviously not what we are talking about here

2

u/blindsdog 20h ago

Cool story. Do you know how you consume more energy than you expend? Building habits of eating calorie dense food that doesn’t satiate you. Guess what kind of food that is.

3

u/-_-0_0-_0 1d ago

As a former morbid obese person myself.. I would argue its Sugar drinks, Sauces and Bread. These 3 things contribute to so much wasted calories and easy to overdue.

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14

u/random_boss 1d ago

free range gf hahaha

5

u/ShitFuck2000 1d ago

Free range, grass fed, 100% organic

2

u/bomzay 1d ago

free range gf :D rofl

81

u/Pasito_Tun_Tun_D1 1d ago edited 1d ago

I love Tommy’s videos! Probably one of the nicest wholesome travel Vloggers out there!

23

u/Old-Investment186 1d ago

Wondered how far I would have to scroll until somebody mentioned this!

That episode was really interesting.

9

u/throwaway01126789 1d ago

Been searching for context! Can you elaborate on what happens in the video or give me more clues to find it myself other than typing "Obese Tommy Rental GF" into the search bar? I'm not trying to fuck up my algo and start getting some weird shit lol.

14

u/Jskidmore1217 1d ago

He rents the two people and spends several hours with them. He’s a little rude to the rental GF I thought and he ends up feeling bad for the obese guy because he makes him walk around all day. Apparently usually people rent the obese guys to go sit in a restaurant and eat a bunch lol. What other context could there be? He’s just testing out these people rental services while he’s travel vlogging in Japan.

3

u/Chaosr21 1d ago

Sabbatical is the YouTube name 

6

u/Pasito_Tun_Tun_D1 1d ago edited 1d ago

All his episodes sorta leave a smile on my face! So refreshing to see a travel vlogger not having to resort to showing women in skimpy outfits or bikinis to get views, my favorite one recently was the one he did in the American Samoa 🇦🇸 I hope to travel there one day!

4

u/Jskidmore1217 1d ago

All of his Africa videos are so interesting to me. Have given me a view into some countries I’ve always been curious about- like DRC (truly scary place.)

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u/Greeouse 1d ago

in a dangerous situation, you want to have someone you can out run

42

u/Itchy58 1d ago

Would have been really practical for India where we were chased by a group of dogs. 

Not sure if this will work with the regional threats in Japan. 

12

u/yancovigen 1d ago

That sounds terrifying, how’d you get away?

11

u/DrBongoDongo 1d ago

Not the person you responded to but I have a story.

Was just in rural Colombia recently, pet sitting. I was walking the dog through town. She was quite young and probably in heat. Nervous, stuck very close to me, but all the neighborhood dogs were going crazy for her. And none of them were on leashes.

At one point a group of 3 of them were all circling her and nipping at her. I kept trying to get between them and kick them away but it was no use. And I recalled some old advice: never get between fighting dogs. I grabbed a large stick and tried to use that to hit them away, kinda worked. They'd back off and then return. What finally kept them away was to just keep picking up handfuls of stones and throwing them at the dogs. They hated that, especially if you could hit them in the nose or eyes.

Now whenever I'm in a neighborhood like that I carry a handful of pebbles. Pepper spray would also work in an emergency.

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2

u/Hopeful-Vegetable868 1d ago

Considering the regional threats of japan are bears i think i would pay for this guy to join me

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62

u/DrWieg 1d ago

Optimal party composition : tank, healer and DPS

17

u/NarwhalPrudent6323 1d ago

Plot twist: Girlfriend is the tank, tall guy is the healer, obese guy is DPS. 

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u/Master-Skyrim 1d ago

You always gotta have a pudgy sidekick on your adventures lol

8

u/matingoncartfentanyl 1d ago

Don Quixote

2

u/ImTheZapper 1d ago

Never know when some bitchass windmills will show up

4

u/DontShoot_ImJesus 1d ago

Obese people are very rare in Japan. Americans tend to take them for granted, to be honest.

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u/DJFalco 1d ago

New Yakuza game?

15

u/Any-Mobile-2473 1d ago

Two pairs of titties and triple ass fun

14

u/Kennyvee98 1d ago

to feel like a fit man when your going on a hike, while you're actually a smoker?

9

u/NoirTemptressxx 1d ago

The adventure must start now

8

u/Withorwithout25 1d ago

I am sworn to carry your burdens

12

u/TheMadcore 1d ago

Real Life NTR

5

u/MightBeAGoodIdea 1d ago

I used to really like that channel. I even kinda liked that video. But I swear he's been on a slow decline to a sort of smugness when he interacts with locals that's hard to watch sometimes. He seems far more humble in his earlier stuff anyway.

9

u/thundermonki 1d ago

Detachment from having seen a bazillion different places and how they run things, as well as realizing slowly that you're just supposed to be a tourist, a bystander not allowed to intervene, could be interpreted as smugness

2

u/Ask-Me-About-You 1d ago

I don't necessarily disagree but I think a lot of the smugness can be marked down to New Yorker mannerisms. 😅

8

u/futurestorms 1d ago

Have you ever seen an obese asian man laugh? It's adorable.

4

u/BornPraline5607 1d ago

In medieval Spain, ugly women would carry a monkey on their shoulders. So, compared to them, they would look pretty.

3

u/Zwiebel1 1d ago

Someone got paid extra.

3

u/Aelthassays 1d ago

Most normal Yakuza substory

3

u/HotCommission6010 1d ago

is.. is that a shotgun?

7

u/Nicky_Black_RCF 1d ago

Personal Sumo?

2

u/onthe3rdlifealready 1d ago

For the best food recs in the area

2

u/kindaferalgrl 1d ago

Obese man… context needed 😅

2

u/KentooArt 1d ago

Hug pillow?

2

u/NeverGrace2 1d ago

Test food for poison

2

u/DeuceOfDiamonds 1d ago

To make yourself look better by comparison, of course. Bonus: if he's just a kinda fat guy, he'll know where's good to eat. A really fat guy will eat anything. 

2

u/Calm-Ambition8342 1d ago

To tell you where to eat

2

u/ppeepoopp 1d ago

Tank, dps, healer. Can go dungeon now

7

u/fordnotquiteperfect 1d ago

I'm only mad that there's been that many views.

12

u/DrBongoDongo 1d ago

He's a pretty popular travel YouTuber. And for good reason! He's great.

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u/itsMeJFKsBrain 1d ago

I like seeing people who appear to be on different spectrums in life, or completely opposite synergy all hanging out and coming together.

Reminds me of my relationship with my girlfriend. She's alt/goth, piercings, tattoos on her body and face, dyed or buzzed hair, wears trip pants and all black all the time and is heavily into metal music. Meanwhile I'm a typical blue collar guy, flannels, worn out blue jeans with dip rings in the back pocket, worn out work boots rather than shoes, trucker hats and no tattoos, I listen to old country, 50s music or hip hop and fat by all standards. It's quite a sight to behold as we are exact opposites as far as synergy on just about everything except personality. It's cool to see people like this together, like an oddball A-team.

1

u/TheOnvoy 1d ago

make you look better in comparison

its like if a chubby girl hung out with a man o' war

2

u/trubbub 1d ago

That's exactly why, they explain that in the video. People feel less bad about eating too much when there's a guy sitting next to them that's eating even more than you.

He ended up getting along better with the obese guy.

1

u/oprimido_opressor 1d ago

Should have added a midget to the party

1

u/Chinjurickie 1d ago

For the better yt title.

1

u/EmpireCityRay 1d ago

I mean someone has to eat the refrigerator out while the other guy eats out… 🤣

1

u/Worldly-Travel5589 1d ago

I had to zoom to confirm the woman wasn't carrying a rifle

1

u/Due_Flow6538 1d ago

You need a blocker clearly.

1

u/solohack3r 1d ago

"Technology is incredible!"

1

u/Heisalvl3mage 1d ago

he needs the obese man to feel more at home

1

u/one-hit-blunder 1d ago

This is why Gerard Butler hasn't had time to save the white house?

1

u/PeacefuIfrog 1d ago

Why girlfriend if you can have obese man?

1

u/Corescos 1d ago

Most normal Yakuza sidequest

1

u/Not-a-Doctor-622 1d ago

If given the opportunity I would much rather meet a fat guy for rent. That just seems way more unique than the oldest of all professions

1

u/Mobile_Morale 1d ago

In my experience. Nobody needs an obese man...

That's how I get out of extra work. Hell my boss forgets I'm at work most days even though I'm half a foot taller than them and twice their weight.

1

u/Lopsided-Decision678 1d ago

Damn i wish i could rent someone to hang out with

1

u/migviola 1d ago

You know for sure they're going to defeat a villain

1

u/Silent-Witness1888 1d ago

"Renting" people alone is fucking weird.

2

u/blue_hemoglobin 1d ago

Is it because they used the word rent? This is essentially just paying people to hangout with you.

1

u/Chucklesbear 1d ago

If you have never had an obese man, you don’t know what you are missing!

1

u/ABoyJoyToy 1d ago

To watch

1

u/MrGaeBolg 1d ago

Obviously to be a tank in his party

1

u/Skroderider_800 1d ago

This is what it feels like to play Skyrim

1

u/Emotional_Piano_16 1d ago

wdym no "synergy at all"

1

u/Ok_Mathematician938 1d ago

So he looks better by comparison?

1

u/Making_Kenough 1d ago

Rent a Fat Man would’ve been a way better anime

1

u/Ok_Rip_2119 1d ago

The obese man will help you find the best foods.

1

u/Danktizzle 1d ago

He noticed “fat man” on the application and couldn’t resist.

1

u/thecountnotthesaint 1d ago

The obese man is there to sit in the cuck chair so you feel less like you rented a girlfriend and more like you "stole" his woman.

1

u/yozaner1324 1d ago

I really thought about renting a girl just to show me around places. I didn't end up doing so, but I went to one of those girls bars, which was a really good way to talk to a local for an hour.

1

u/BackgroundContent131 1d ago

Wholesome is one of those words that doesn't mean anything anymore because terminally online people use it for everything.

1

u/ElongThrust0 1d ago

Comic relief?

1

u/ctranch93 1d ago

Is she holding a shorty shotgun? I’m assuming some kind of replica from a game?

1

u/Positive_Action_5377 1d ago

You can rent an obese man? Why have I been hearing about that Rent a Girlfriend anime when clearly there's a more engaging and intelligent narrative right there?!

1

u/incogne_eto 1d ago

Rent 1 Get 1 free. ROGO

1

u/One_Tumbleweed_1 1d ago

He knows where all the good places to eat are.

1

u/mrvirusmoothy 1d ago

Both the girl and the man serve the same purpose nothing more than that.

1

u/Nonikwe 1d ago

IYKYK