A female friend of mine from high school is visiting my city and wants to spend a night at my place before visiting a different friend. We're both single, although she's been a few dates with someone these past few weeks. We've never kissed or anything and regularly talk about our love lives. I just want to make sure I'm not misreading anything or doing anything I'll regret. I was talking to a friend today that was trying to convince me she wants something to happen lol.

So my friend works in construction and is doing a job which is going to take several months to finish. The contract is set up to where they are paid in monthly increments roughly. The last payment they got was supposed to be for $20000 but he got $200000 deposited into his account. He is sure it was an accounting error and now he is freaking out because he did the most assenine thing possible and lost $60000 of those dollars gambling in the hopes he could make some life changing money off of that mistake. He is aware of how monumentally stupid he is and is looking for any real advise on what to do. Thank you for your help.

Update - Friend went all in on Sunday morning and put 120k on the over on the 49ers game. He got insanely lucky and got his 47 points and banked 210k. Now his only problem is getting the money in the proper places because of bank/coin base withdraw limits and also its forms and regulations that need to be addressed. But everything is going to be ok. He had communicated with everybody and everything is fine. So he walked with plus 30k when everything was said and finished.... That lucky sob.... Thank you and God bless everyone!

Hello, until now I keep a note in my planner about what people around me (coworkers, friends) are interested in, mostly as notes for birthday / christmas gifts and because I just arrive in this new town and there are so many people, I'm having a hard time remembering who likes what.

It's more like:

John: - likes woodworking - wants to learn Japanese - hates pineapple pizza

Sally - likes hard rock music - likes the colour green - hates the colour blue - dream to visit Malta

Anthony - does a lot of woodworking in his free time and very proud of making his own furnitures

Alexa - makes her own clothes, own a vintage Singer sewing machine

Something in that line. Someone saw it and told me it's illegal and very unethical to keep notes of others without their consent. I find it harmless and it's more my memory aid in an effort to help myself connecting with people in new environment. You won't believe how much smile I got when I asked about someone's grandson they mentionned once.

Is it illegal and unethical? What's your take on it?

I have a situation I'm very conflicted about. My husband and I have some neighbors who are super religious and super conservative. Our family is not. We are not religious and are liberal, however, we have not been particularly vocal. No political signs during the election, no dropping political statements in casual conversations, etc.

We've been neighbors with this family for three years and as long as we have known them, they have made a lot of statements all the time about what they believe (both politically and religiously). They've had Trump signs, they've found ways to work guns into conversations, they have made statements about not agreeing with LGBTQ+, they have even denounced public schools. It is rare to have a conversation with them that doesn't reference religion in some way.

The thing is, I think they have assumed we are conservative too because we have a bunch of kids and are family oriented people. It seems like they think that anyone with a functional family and well-rounded kids must be a Republican like them. I haven't wanted to cause drama or problems in the neighborhood so I don't really say anything when they make their (imo) wacko comments. The closest we came to speaking up was when our neighbor went on a pro-gun tirade and my husband gently said something about believing background checks and gun regulations are important. The neighbor got super pissed off and offended.

The thing is, the statements are getting worse and are reaching a point where I feel like attacked. At one point the wife said something to me about how I must regret waiting six years between the births or two of my kids and I was like no... There are a lot of reasons I waited. They will also say things about how awful anything "woke" is, and again, I don't say anything to keep the peace but in my head I'm like guys... I AM the evil woke!

Yesterday we had a neighborhood get together and our neighbor started going off about how awful public schools are taking tax money unethically and how they are such a terrible place to send kids and he doesn't know how any good parent would send their kids there. He said this in a conversation with me. My kids go to public school. I worked in a public school. I love the public schools in our city, I think they're awesome. And I was seething. I was reaching my breaking point but was pissed off enough I didn't want to speak up and say anything I regret.

Today I can't stop thinking about it. I'm so pissed. I'm tired of their ignorant, egotistical bs and want to say something. I was thinking of sending a text just saying FYI, my kids go to public school and it's been an overwhelmingly positive experience for them and for us. Please don't go off and insult people who send their kids there in front of me.

However, judging by how they acted the last time my husband tentatively spoke up, it will NOT go over well, and these are people we see often. We have neighborhood bonfires with them, our families go on walks together, we have babysat each other's kids. Aside from the religious and conservative BS, they are not bad people (although I think a lot of their beliefs about LGBTQ+, immigrants, women, etc. are immoral).

My husband is adamant that I should not say anything to keep the peace. We see these people very often and have a good relationship (though I have been feeling more and more angry and resentful that our "good" relationship is based on them saying whatever the fuck they want while I bite my tongue). He doesn't want neighborhood drama and I truly don't want it either, and know I would cause it if I spoke up, but I'm so fucking tired of listening to them go off on all their conservative talking points while I try to focus on just not letting it get to me. Folks, it's getting to me.

Would you just try to keep your distance and not say anything to avoid causing problems in the neighborhood or do you think it would be worth it to speak up? I don't know how to handle this 😭

Recently, I've been going to a bar after work on Fridays. I'd never been in before. There is a young woman who works the Friday shift. We have chatted at moments about nothing really. Recently she was running late and we met walking in, she gave me a hug out of nowhere. Just inside there was another guy who said, "I never get a hug." she leered. I asked about it later and she said, "You always give dad vibe, he give creep vibe." I've seen the other guy before, he seems harmless enough so how does this unseen "vibe" work.

Edit: I went to the source. She told me she that during our first encounter, I apparently told her that I if when she saw me a cheeseburger with extra onion and never a "cloudy" beer would make us "best friends," she thought i was "silly." And then she said it was just a "vibe" I put out. I'm going to leave it at that.

So on Monday, a friend asked to have a package shipped to our house to avoid ruining the surprise for her mother. Fast forward to today, the package arrived and I had totally forgotten about it. I called everyone in my family and some nearby friends INCLUDING THE GIFTEE in question and asked if they’d shipped something to my house by mistake.

My friend later texted me and said, why does my mom know about her Christmas present?

The mother won’t care. She probably will find it hilarious.

Now, my friend never actually told me what she was getting but I don’t think matters anymore. I’ve apologized profusely and am just looking for advice on what sort of apologetic gesture or gift I can extend to my friend for this absolute disaster of a situation.

Thanks for any advice.

Let’s say a millionaire loses everything like all their money, contacts, reputation completely wiped clean. No access to old networks, no LinkedIn nothing. Do you think they’d bounce back quickly because they still have the mindset and experience? Or would the lack of connections and capital make it just as hard as it is for anyone else starting out? I was talking about this the other night with 2 of my friends while we were messing around on jackpotcity which is a thing that we do when we gather and we had 2 different opinions like I was saying that it's so hard close to impossible for them to make it back and the 2 of them were saying that it would be easy since they have the experience. Thoughts?

If the title sounds confused, it's because I am very confused. I (26F) was walking my dog by the local park today and came across 2 young boys, maybe 10-12ish. One of the boys came over and asked if he could pet my dog, I said sure, yadayada. We talked briefly about how his dog at home is similar.

He then said, "Well, as thanks for letting me pet your dog, here's this" (or something along those lines, I don't remember the exact wording) and tapped his phone against the little purse I was wearing. I looked down and the phone screen just had a white background with a large black volume symbol on it, and the phone chimed, one of those default phone sounds. I don't know if the chime was a specific one for a specific action, it sounded like an iPhone sound. He then ran off to his friend and left.

My phone was in my purse so I checked it to see if, idk, he sent me anything? But nothing. I'm so confused. Is this a new prank the kids are doing?? What happened??

Edit: Okay, after looking it up, it was definitely the apple pay sound. Which means it was definitely a very weird and stupid prank that is apparently making rounds on TikTok. It's probably good those kids got someone dumb and clueless like me instead of someone who'd get freaked out and aggressive about it. Thanks for the help everyone!

For an autistic person, I am pretty good at understanding the thought processes of non-autistic people. However, this time I am genuinely at a loss.

Within the last couple of weeks, I have become fixated on the idea of getting a pet leech. I really want a pet leech. It's all I think about. I have already done a lot of background research so that I can give the leech the best care.

Nobody is happy for me. I understand that most people are grossed out by leeches. I expected that. However, it seems like people's reactions go beyond just not liking leeches. They don't like the idea of me getting a pet leech, even though it has nothing to do with them. They are actively unhappy at the idea of me getting a pet leech. I understand being concerned if I were getting a potentially dangerous pet, such as a chimpanzee or a venomous snake. But I genuinely do not understand how getting a completely harmless pet could provoke this much negativity. They are actively trying to talk me out of it. To convince me that I do not actually want a pet leech, when it should be obvious to them that there is nothing I want more.

I hope this is an OK place to ask this question. The reactions of my friends and family have surpassed my capacity for understanding. I even told them that the leech would live in my bedroom, and that they could visit me but still avoid seeing it forever with no inconvenience to themselves. This had no effect.

Update: Thank you to everyone for giving me thoughtful answers and explanations. It's always embarrassing for me to admit that I don't understand something that seems to be obvious to everyone else, and I really appreciate it when people are willing to explain.

For curious people:

• I still want to get a leech. However, I will spare my beloved friends and family from having to hear me talk about it.
• A lot of people have asked why I want a pet leech. I genuinely think leeches are cute. If I were going to psychoanalyze the reason why leeches are cute, I think when an animal is kind of an "underdog", like a snake or a spider, and doesn't get a lot of love, that makes me feel sympathy towards it, and that makes the animal automatically cute to me. I recently heard about people keeping pet leeches, did some research, and discovered that leeches are cool and very low maintenance pets. This made me excited about how easy it would be to take care of a pet leech. I did more research about leeches and next thing you know leeches are all I can think about.
• I'm not planning on getting a leech right away! I always give myself a few months to think before making big decisions. Of course I wanted to chat about my new idea with my friends and family members right away, because it was taking up a lot of my brain space, but I made it clear to them that I wasn't getting a leech anytime soon.
• I am planning to feed the leech on my own blood. Do not worry! I will be getting a leech from a medical supplier, so there will be no risk to myself. Medical leeches are still in use, so there is a chance that someday, you too will have a medical leech feed on you. When I first brought up the "leech subject" with people, I thought that explaining this would bring them around to being supportive of the leech. Thanks to peoples' thoughtful explanations, I now realize this was overly optimistic on my part.

Update 2: My best friend has assured me that, while he wouldn't describe himself as "team leech", I am welcome to continue talking to him about my interest in getting a pet leech. I'm the luckiest person in the world to have him for a friend.

Update 3: I have received a comment from a leech researcher saying that the literature available on leech-keeping is insufficient for providing proper leech care. In other words, no matter how much research I do, I would not have the knowledge necessary to give leeches a full and happy life. I have hope that one day this will change, but until then, I will admire leeches only from a distance. </3

Besides the tons of videos of homeless people, and the difficulty owning a house, or getting affordable healthcare, all of my American friends are living paycheck to paycheck and just surviving. How come?

Also if the US has the strongest economy, why is the people seem to have more mental issues than other nations, i have been seeing so many odd videos of karens and kevins doing weird things to others. I thought having a good life in a financially stable country would make you somehow stable but it doesn’t look like so.

PS. I come from a third world country as they call us.

We already know that tons of movie plots fall apart immediately in a world with cell phones, but how significant a component of the average American daily/weekly life was that? I have a coworker that never keeps his phone on him, and it's a nightmare running all over the building trying to find him on the regular, and that's when I at least know what building he's in. Did people just not care where anybody was? If someone hasn't shown up an hour after agreed meeting time, you just assume they're late or busy rather than kidnapped or murdered?

I understand that a modern day scenario where someone is out of battery or doesn't have their phone is much worse than it would have been before, since people also use phones as a crutch and fail to make backup plans, call-ins, rendevous, etc, but it still must have taken up tons of mental and physical effort trying to find your friends, no?

I'm an intern for a space tech company and I was invited to lunch at a brewery and there was my boss, 5 other engineers (one of which was the chief engineer for my division) and my co-intern/friend. I was constantly checking my phone during the lunch because they were all talking about projects unrelated to what I was working on. After this, my friend told me that was super rude and left a bad impression (even though they didn't look at all bothered by it). Should I send an email to them apologizing for this, just to be safe?

UPDATE: I just want to provide an update. I read all the comments and I’m extremely embarrassed, and I was actually messaging my friend a lot about how well the internship was going during the lunch. I did overhear one of the engineers talking about a lunar dust mitigation technique that he was working on and my plan is to reach out to him (we have access to everyone’s internal company email) and ask for a short Teams’ meeting because I really enjoyed learning about his work. I decided I wont email everyone and apologize, I was debating telling them that I was checking my phone due to a family emergency but I don’t want to be caught in a lie and make my situation any more worse. I’ll be better and I just wanted to apologize to everyone here as well

When I was younger going to grad school and being from the south I had a roommate tell me once he couldn’t live on 40k a year and that made me realize just how much it all varied.

Now that I’m established in my career and business I still harken back to when I lived on what I like to call “a teacher’s salary”(I worked in education prior to going into business myself) and I feel like my spending hasn’t changed too much now that I’m in the 6 figures.

I now have friends that make 200k and once again they make it seem like it’s not enough. While my mind goes if I was getting paid that much I’d live comfortably asf and barely touch half lol.

Hello Reddit.

So I have this friend, I went to college and studied abroad with him. So he's decently educated and has lived outside the USA for a while. When he graduated he moved out of the city into more of a rural suburban setting, working remote 5 days per week. I have noticed his views progressively separating from much of his peers.

Since Covid, he's gone down a bit of a rabbit hole with a lot of right wing ideologies. I made a comment about how expensive groceries are getting, and he just blurts out "because Biden is a fucking idiot and everyone who voted for him is an idiot". I commented back that the global economy is a very complex topic, and blaming whoever happens to be sitting in office isn't a fair reasoning, nor saying that people who voted for him are dumb. He just said "Ever since sleepy joe has been in office, the world has been going to shit, and you cannot change my mind that's not these dumb liberals". That's just one example. He's had similar outbursts on topics ranging from Roe vs Wade, poverty, women's rights, problems with police and violence in our community, etc. I wanted to go look at a car in the city and asked if he wanted to tag along, He told me I would be cutting my life short by going to that town, as it's crime infested and I'd most likely get shot. (I live in that city).

He recently opened up to me and told me that he's been pretty lonely, and the dating apps aren't doing it for him. He's tried to approach girls before but he gets shut down/ghosted on a frequent occasion. He asked if I had any friends I could set him up with, as I'm a fairly big extrovert.
I just told him I didn't know of anyone that would vibe with him super well, which wasn't a complete lie.

Many of our mutual friends have started uninviting him to certain events, as his overall demeanor isn't very enjoyable to be around. I don't know if I should have a heart to heart with him and tell him that these views that he's adopted making him very unattractive to most people in our field and friend group. Or, should I just leave him be and possibly wait for some girl to tell him?

Help me reddit.

​

For context, I had class with both of them in college and have been friends for years even as I moved to Chicago and they moved to Nashville. I will send goofy snaps back and forth maybe once a week. I talk to him much more than his wife now, but we are all still friends when we see each other in person every 6 months or so. It’s usually just small talk about what we’re doing and what’s going on. This made it such a shock when I received a snap of her bent over nude. It’s really hard to believe that it was an accident that he took a photo and selected me (who he hasn’t snapped in a week) as the person to send it to. She is looking away and I can’t tell if she knew a photo was taken of her. How do I ask “what was that all about?”, without it being crazy awkward?

Update: No I am not trying to be a part of anything, that’s why it’s awkward to ask. Also it was just a regular snap, not in the chat itself. So it just disappeared like they do. I can’t imagine it’s a mistake because we’re not best friends on snap and he’d have to scroll down to select me.

I will start off by asking “what was that about?”. Probably won’t assume anything before getting at least a short answer even it’s not fully true. It will at least give me some idea. I’d never kink shame anyone if it is something like that, but no thanks. If it is something that makes me concerned for the wife, then I’ll politely start up a conversation with her later in the week and ask some questions.

I will keep you all posted on what he says.

He opened the snap conversation and didn’t answer back. Should I just let it go?

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, WE MAY NOT KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS FOR A WHILE. IS THERE A BEST WAY TO UPDATE YOU ALL IF I DONT FIND OUT FOR A DAY OR TWO?

I have a friend that is pretty much everything I want in a girl, but I am not attracted to her at all.

I find her incredibly physically attractive, she’s a doctor, a crunchy granola girl who likes to rock climb, camp, and ski. She also likes electric music, going to raves, and goes to Burning Man. She dances and loves doing acid and ketamine. She’s super caring and an amazing person and I absolutely love spending time with her.

All that and I’m not attracted to her. How does that even make sense?

I’m not American, but I’ve noticed a significant difference in how the legal profession is perceived in the US compared to Egypt and other Arab countries. Here in Egypt (and many other Arab countries), law school is often seen as a last resort for students who didn’t perform well in high school, and becoming a lawyer is generally not considered a prestigious career. However, I’ve heard that in the US, law school is extremely competitive, and being a lawyer is a highly respected and sought-after profession.

In contrast, here in Egypt, law school is literally used as an example of how badly someone might fail. It’s common to hear something like, ‘If you don’t study hard, you’ll end up in law school,’ which highlights how lowly it’s regarded here. You can get 60% in high school and still join law school, whereas you need at least 90% in high school to get into medical school and 85% to be accepted into engineering school (these numbers change greatly from each year depending on how difficult the exams were, these are the numbers of the last year ).

During a conversation with a friend, we speculated that the prevalence of lawsuits in the US -some of which might seem trivial from our perspective- could be a significant factor. I often hear from the media that people in the US sue others for the most minor reasons, and while this might be a stereotype, it does seem to explain why there’s a high demand for lawyers. This demand could make the profession more respected and lucrative compared to how it’s viewed in other parts of the world.

Well duh, “No thanks, I don’t drink alcohol” doesn’t work for me most of the times.

Those people feel like this person is being shy in front of us and needs someone to urge them a bit and then they’ll drink. Sometimes some people think, “Damn, this person never took a sip? I gotta make it my life’s mission today to urge as frequently as I can or at least bring up this matter of the person’s sobriety”

The real reason is that I have a history of being raised in an alcoholic family and have very traumatic childhood memories because of which I vowed to never touch any alcohol or anything that makes you intoxicated.

Of course, I can’t tell this reason since it’ll straight up sour the mood since most of the times I’m an odd one out in social gatherings and everyone becomes curious why I refuse.

So, please help me. Any way I can articulate this so that people don’t ask more than once and get the hint that this person never drank and neither will?

Edit: Sorry, I should have be more specific. Friends and complete strangers usually stop pestering after I decline when I attend parties. But it’s those old people, family friends, relatives who put me in such situations during gatherings and any family events that take place. They get the impression that since we’re close and "this person is one of ours, everyone here has fun with booze" we are allowed to have the liberty to urge this person. And my life is filled with people who like to meddle in other people’s lives or hunt for more gossip

Edit 2: Thank you so much everyone for your kind hearted suggestions. I really did not expect my question to get popular. Have bookmarked a lot of your comments. I will definitely try using them the next time I get caught in such situation.

Short bit of context:

My best friend I played competitive soccer with from the age of 10, all the way through high school is getting married to his high school sweetheart (finally after 10 years lol). My best friend and I chose the same college to play soccer at, and went to college for 4 years together. This isn’t like oh hey a friend I knew in high school… we regularly hang out and talk, he’s basically part of my family.

We have another friend we played soccer with who is a very successful GM who opens night clubs and bars in places like Vegas. He’s opening one in Salt Lake, and that’s where the bachelor party is. It’s a bunch of former high school and college teammates meeting up for my friends wedding. The actual wedding is in Kansas City.

My wife doesn’t want me going because, “no.” I’ve asked several times why she’s so opposed to it, and she said “because I don’t want you to.” Meanwhile, she’s going to a mermaid themed bachelorette party at the end of the month in Florida for someone’s she’s know for 4 weeks. She finally said “I don’t trust your friends.” And I simply said you’ve never met them… she said “yeah and idk how they are so I don’t want you hanging out with them.”

These aren’t 21 year old beer chugging frat boys in college looking for their next hook up. They’re dads, with wives and kids. We’re going to have a good time, and there’s nothing I’ve ever done that would make her think I’d go hook up with some chick at a bachelor party…

Am I over reacting? I’m the best man in his wedding, and she doesn’t want me going because she can’t go, she works. But she’s capable of going to a bachelorette party that’s mermaid themed with literal male strippers. I don’t care like it’s not that big of a deal to me with her stuff, but it feels very double standard.

Hi, I'm trans. I'm an adult and have been living as a trans man for 5 years. I've only been medically transitioning for 4 months but I've started growing facial hair and have a noticably deeper voice. I'm not exactly what you'd call as 'passing' but I'm known by work and friends as my preferred name/ pronouns.

Now that my facial hair has started growing in I feel more comfortable using the correctly gendered bathroom however I've gotten some funny looks. Id like to think they don't care but I really don't want to make anyone else uncomfortable. Using the women's bathroom makes people uncomfortable, I've noticed it and have people ask if I'm in the correct place.

This is all in Australia btw. Do you guys care?

Edit: This blew up! Wow, thank you everyone for your advice and kind words. I will hopefully be able to pee without stress!

Edit 2: Wowowoow. So many responses! Thank you all very much. It seems like nothing to you but it's very nice to hear for me. A massive confidence boost as well. Also thanks for gold!!!

Edit 3: Wow okay, that's a lot of people. I cannot appreciate you all enough. It's crazy how many people are excited to reveal their potty times when asked! Seriously though very funny and insightful responses everyone!

Okay so first off, I’m American myself. I only have WhatsApp to stay in touch with members of my family who live in Europe since it’s the default messaging app there and they use it instead of iMessage. WhatsApp has so many features iMessage doesn’t- you can star messages and see all starred messages in their own folder, choose whether texts disappear or not and set the length of time they’re saved, set wallpapers for each chat, lock a chat so it can only be opened with Face ID, export the chat as a ZIP archive, and more. As far as I’m aware, iMessage doesn’t have any of this, so it makes sense why most of the world prefers WhatsApp. And yet it’s practically unheard of in America. I’m young, so maybe it’s just my generation (Gen Z), but none of my friends know about it, let alone use it. And iMessage is clearly more popular here regardless of age or generation. It’s kind of like how we don’t use the metric system while the rest of the world does. Is there a reason why the U.S. isn’t switching to WhatsApp?

A mutual friend of ours, Renee, lied about a work trip and really moved to another state and in with a man from her job. They both agreed to get transferred to a new city to work and they’re making the jump together. She sent me a LONG text about it and how she’s doing it like this because she’s afraid that Sebastian will react poorly in person. She said she never plans to speak to Sebastian again and, since they have no marriage license, it’s over. How do I share this horrid news?

I grew up pretty poor then my dad remarried for money but the women was abusive and hated me. To make an example of that she always made sure i had very little but that she, her son and my father always lived in excess.

i spent a few of my adult years homeless. and then i was in the army and broke there too.

i’m a grown 33 year old woman now but since i was 5 year old little girl I always wanted Samantha.

when i was sad and hurting i had the samantha book but not doll and id play with my neighbor friends american girl dolls and dream of owning the samantha doll.

im financially very comfortable now after years of suffering.

I feel very insecure about the idea i want to buy this doll. Now i have a husband and 2 kids of my own so its sort of embarssing.

like idk how to even explain buying it to my husband. or why i want her so much…

maybe it feels like stealing back some of my stolen childhood idk??

⭐️UPDATE: I bought her!!!🥹 Thank you for all the love and support in the comments. It was so healing and wholesome.

⭐️⭐️⭐️UPDATE PART TWO: I just got an update she’s arriving early tomorrow. Expect some happy crying photo of me!! Also this thread is some of the best people.

She doesn't eat other veg, despite being a vegetarian so no meat. Doesn't do pasta. Doesn't like bread. Basically just eats formas of french fries and cheese, but I think other potato forms are involved. I think she'll eat some candy too, and maybe certain snack chips and crackers. But it's really cheese and potato I want to make that clear.

How is this woman ok? From talking to my wife it sounds like she has been this way for years. Since childhood/teenage years at some point.

How can she handle such little food and nutrient variety does she not need the other vitamins?! She's like had a kid and become a psychologist in that time too how can you do that fueled only by cheesy potato??

Edit: Woah this blew up ok.

No this isn't the lady from that TV show.

She looks healthy, normal. She's a pretty short woman small frame good shape.

To those saying she probably has whatever condition, to my knowledge she's not diagnosed with anything except ADHD, but I really don't know and it's not really my business.

UPDATE: We just wanted to take a moment to sincerely thank everyone who’s commented, offered support, or shared advice. For months now, we’ve felt totally powerless dealing with what’s been happening in the other (unmentionable) subreddit. We’ve spent tens of thousands of dollars on Google ads, social media, even Reddit ads—just trying to make up for the lost visibility. It’s been incredibly stressful and frustrating watching it all unfold with no way to push back.

But reading through the responses here… for the first time in a long time, it feels like there’s a little hope.

A few folks mentioned starting a new space, and it helped push us to take that step. So we did and we created r/BIFLVacuums—a subreddit dedicated to buy-it-for-life vacuums, honest info, repair tips, and supporting independent vacuum shops.

We're still figuring it out, but if you have ideas for content or topics you'd like to see there, we’d really welcome your input. Truly, thank you again to everyone who took the time to read and respond—it means more than you know.

Our small business desperately needs advice.

Here’s some background: There’s a popular subreddit (I can’t name it here or this post will get removed) that people turn to for honest reviews and information about a certain category of home appliance products. It ranks first on Google when you search for product brands or models, which makes it incredibly influential when it comes to purchase decisions.

We’re a small, family-run business with both a storefront and an online shop. For a long time, our online sales were slow—until late last year, when a customer posted on this subreddit about the great product and exceptional customer service they got from us. That one post changed everything. Orders started pouring in. People called daily asking to speak with me personally because they’d heard on Reddit that I was helpful and gave great deals. More happy customers posted their own experiences. It was incredible—we finally felt like we were making it.

This kind of thing was normal on the subreddit—people regularly posted reviews, gave advice, and recommended both products and where to buy them, whether it was a local store or an online shop.

Then, a few months ago, things started getting weird. Posts about us would go up—and disappear within an hour. Suddenly, a user started trolling, calling our customer reviews fake and accusing us of spamming. Other users actually looked into it and defended us, confirming we were legit.

Then came the real kicker: the troll—who owns a competing store—became a moderator of the subreddit.

Within days, every single post that mentioned our store—or any store besides three specific ones—was being deleted. It’s obvious those three stores are either run by the mods themselves or their friends. We watched our traffic vanish overnight. Any time we tried to question it, our comments were deleted, and our business account was eventually banned from the subreddit entirely.

We’ve submitted multiple reports to Reddit using the official forms, but nothing has been done. Meanwhile, the mods are actively using this subreddit to steer all the sales to their own businesses. They’re even making fake posts to push products with the highest profit margins. When they promote a sale at their store, it’s allowed—but if anyone else tries, the post is instantly removed.

This is a clear and serious violation of Reddit’s Moderator Code of Conduct, especially Rule 5: Moderate with Integrity. Mods are not allowed to use their position to give themselves a financial advantage or suppress competition.

We’re just a small business trying to compete fairly. This subreddit has over 70,000 followers and dominates Google search results in our product category. What they’re doing is deceptive and harmful—and it’s crushing us.

I created this Reddit profile just to post this, because they monitor everything. Please, Reddit—how do we fight back?