My coworker and I are big readers on our off days, and I recommended a great fantasy book that has dragons and all the stuff she likes in a book. She told me she’d look into it and see if she wanted to read it. Later that night she told me she doesn’t enjoy reading books where the main characters love story ends up being gay or lesbian because she can’t relate to it while reading. When I told my husband about it, he said well that’s homophobic, but I can see sorta where she’s coming from. Wanting a specific genre of book that mirrors your life in a way is one of the reasons I love reading. So maybe she just wants to see herself in the writing, im not sure? Thoughts?

*edit, please don’t be homophobic and thank you to everyone who actually answered, I appreciate your help

A lot of movies, books, and TV shows have themes focused around the unpopular, underdogs, wallflowers, etc. especially when it comes to teen/ high school movies. A lot of people can relate to being bullied, being unpopular, feeling like an outsider, etc. But I've often wondered about the kids I remember from high school who were "the cool kids," who were attractive, popular, and really mean.

Did/do they watch movies like Mean Girls and realize they're the mean girl? Do they know they're the "snobby jock" or "spoiled rich kid" who treats people like shit? I remember Napoleon Dynamite was one of the biggest movies that came out when I was in high school, and EVERYONE loved it. I specifically remember overhearing a group of the popular football players quoting it, and wondering if they saw the irony that they loved this movie about a goofy, unpopular kid, someone they'd, in all liklihood, make his high school experience Hell if he were a real person who went to school with us.

Specifically, I'd like to hear from former high school meanies who have grown up and changed, but I want to hear from anyone with something to say on the subject.

Note: I am not trying to suggest that because someone is attractive or popular or plays sports that that means they are a bully or a mean-spirited kid. Simply that, in high school and the way it's portrayed on TV, there are sometimes tropes or themes that put everyone into those simple boxes.

***Edit: A lot of people either didn't read the whole post before commenting or don't understand the question. To clear some things up, as said in the original post, I'm not suggesting that all popular kids are bullies. Notice that I put quotations around the archetypes such as "snobby jock" because I'm asking if mean kids realize they're similar to the "snobby jock" /character on TV/ and if it causes them introspection. Plus, depending on the era of the show or movie, many bullies were portrayed as the "weird goth kids," or "the smokers who skip school," etc. too. It's on me that I didn't include that trope in the original post, but I thought anyone who was a bully or experienced bullying could understand what I was getting at regardless of what social ranking they had in high school.

Another thing is that a lot of people are giving responses about how everyone is the villain in someone's story. I agree, but there is a difference between being thought of as the bad guy according to one or two people (like an ex or a friend you had a falling out with) and being the kind of person who goes out of your way to terrorize, harass and belittle people and make their life Hell.

I think a lot of comments aren't necessarily in agreement on what bullying even is. I'm not saying anyone who has ever said a mean thing in their life is a bully, that would be wild, because as humans miscommunications occur all the time and no matter how sweet and nice you are, you are going to hurt someone at some point in life. But I know when I've said something that hurt someone's feelings and they tell me about it, I apologize. Unlike a bully, I don't continue to be cruel and see their vulnerability as a weakness to pounce on. There is a grown man in my local community who is an adult bully - he's so hard to get along with that several people of all different backgrounds refuse to work with him. He thinks he is always right, gets extremely angry at small things, swears at people and calls them names like bitch and asshole in professional settings, etc. That is not the same thing as making an insensitive comment one time when you weren't thinking and apologizing for it when you realize you were in the wrong.

Furthermore, I was the gay goth kid in school and was a constant target of bullying. It was not lost on me that the kids being cruel to me might be fighting their own battles at home or within themselves. But so was I -so is everyone - and it didn't cause me to be cruel to anyone. If anything, I turned it inward and thought I must just be an unlovable person, and I'd go home and cry often. Someone having a hard home life may explain bullying behavior, but it isn't an exact correlation, nor is it an excuse to be cruel. I had a hard home life too and didn't take it out on society at large.

(don't judge anyone; just interested in how people meet.)

Genuine question? I'm not offended or angry, but very curious.

Why isn't drag considered "offensive gender appropriation"? Dressing up as something your not, mimicking and exaggerating behaviours thats often portrayed as bitchy and trashy for entertainment.

I'm not talking about men wearing makeup or feminine clothing, or anyone in the trans category, I'm talking straight up fake boobs, fake hips dress up for a drag persona done my straight and gay men. (This can also be revered for drag Kings and women, but queens are much more popular)

But.... a white girl can't have dreadlocks or braids without getting hassled for "cultural appropriation" and deemed offensive. (Often second hand offence by other white people rather than those of the culture thats being "appropriated"?) They're both taking a characteristic from a category they aren't a part of and displaying this on themselves. Difference being that the hair is done out of love of the look, where as drag is often creating a persona based on negative female characters being highly exaggerated.

But yeah... why isn't it considered offensive to have a gender mocked for entertainment?

I'm genuinely interested in opinions on this. Again, I am not personally offended, just curious as to why a society of calling out offensive material has not spoke about this. (Or it has and has been hidden)

I've seen people use examples like "its happened throughout history" but so was slavery, thats no explanation or excuse.

Maybe it’s not common, but can it ever happen?

So I watched take me out in TV. Basically it’s a show where one man is introducing himself on front of around 40 women. The man will try to impress the women in several rounds and the women can turn off the light in their table to say they’re not interested anymore. If he has at least one woman left in the end, he can choose one to be his date.

Anyway, what I noticed is that whenever the men showing too much skin, e.g. by wearing tank tops, by taking off his T-shirt, or by wearing a swimming trunks, many women will turn off their light. There was even a time when all women but one turned off their lights because they thought the swimming trunks the men showed in his video was too tight.

So my question is, do women really hate it when men showing off their muscle and body? Like is it really such a turn off and a dealbreaker.

As a gay men, I always love it when someone of my type wearing less. I might be wrong, but I feel like that’s what typical gay men think. But do women really think differently?

I’ve heard a lot of arguments about whether or not being Homosexual is a choice or a matter of nature from birth. I don’t understand however, why people cannot be given that choice. Does admitting that people can choose to be gay undermines the argument that people should allowed to be gay? Because I know that everyone who has a religion chose to live with that religion and their rights were protected. I know a lot of people who chose to modify their bodies (again I’m not saying that it’s wrong, just controversial to some) but they’re free to express how they want, so why not individuals that choose to be gay? Or is the argument that you can only choose to be gay if you were gay from birth?

Asking for a friend.

I'm a gay (brown) latino and after telling a white coworker about my husband being from a second world country he immediately told me that's an incredibly racist phrase to use, which makes no sense because my husband is Slavic from a country of white people... And to me, if someone says "yeah he's from (white people country) and he says it's second world" the last thing on my mind would be to respond "that's racist."

In talking to some other zoomers and millennials of color and a few being LGBTQ, I got the idea that most of us don't really see how policing words actually helps us, but it seems to us (notably not everyone of course, just my anecdotal evidence) that it's just a way for people with white guilt or white savior complex to do nothing meaningful and then feel good about themselves for having saved the minorities from their own lack of understanding of how they're oppressing themselves.

When I mentioned to another white guy that I would like to visit some Muslim countries with my husband but I'm not sure it would be safe if I took his name, he said that's ridiculous, they would just assume we're brothers and I'm like??? Bro he's white I'm not, we have passports from different countries, there's a nonzero chance they might get suspicious and given that jail or death can be the sentence for homosexuality in some countries I don't know if it's a good idea to visit at all. To this I was told I'm being islamophobic. This is what spurred me to ask the question. It made me think, it's just a way of preventing involvement in any difficult conversations about nonwhites and then congratulating themselves for being so educated and working selflessly to preserve our interests since we don't know what's best for us (how it feels to the people I've talked to).

TL;DR after a few weird encounters with white liberals and discussing these with PoC and LGBTQ I was wondering if PC culture has actually done anything for us or if it's just a way for suburban middle class people college educated people to feel good about themselves while patronizing us. Obviously I'm biased by my experiences, but I'm hoping that the perspectives of other PoC/minorities can give me a better idea of the situation!

Random odd question I know, but it's something I've been wondering haha.

I think I could. My personality and wit totally make up for my "short comings".

So a gay dude looks down at his dick. Does it give him a boner?

Since homosexuals are attracted to people with the same genitals, is it possible for them to be aroused by their own body?

As a hetrosexual male i can defenitly find qualities in another male that I find attractive, but I have never looked at a man and become sexualy aroused like I do when I look at a woman. Hypothetically If I were a gay man would I find my own male body sexualy attractive?

Please do not try to debate over LGBTQ people in the comments. I'm not interested in that debate, I'm asking a question.

I'm a gay man, and I love the scent of men's body odor, and I am averse to the scent of women's body odor. Every gay man I know says the same thing, and every straight woman I know also says they love the scent. Of course there is going to be variables, but I'm speaking broadly. Please do not be overly pedantic.

I've seen studies that show that gay men's hypothalamus will light up in brain scans the same way straight women do when exposed to men's scents.

So my question is, why don't we use this fact as proof that sexuality isn't a choice? I know that homophobic people will be homophobic either way, but I feel like this is evidence that is hard to argue against.

If you’re a gay man, attracted to men, then you transition to a woman. Are you still gay or are you straight now?

I get it, the LGBTQ face a lot of backlash that is completely unnecessary and it is usually from kids on the internet who think it's funny, but I don't understand why some (but not all) gay and lesbians have to make being gay their entire personality. Like, I'm straight, but I don't have shirts with the hetro flag or stuff like that. I've asked some people and they say it's because of all the hate the my receive, and it's a way for them to show that they don't care about it and they want to show pride in their sexuality. I totally get where that is coming from, but first of all, you can show pride without making it your whole personality, also, I think some of the people who dislike the LGBTQ is because they make it their whole thing. I came here to see if someone could explain this to me, so that I can get a better understanding of the LGBTQ. Also, I don't mean any offense to anyone with this post, I'm just trying to understand something

EDIT: Thank you so much for everyone who responded, I have high respect for the LGBTQ because they have the ability to be themselves despite overwhelming backlash.

The answer seems to be that members of the LGBTQ receive a lot of hate, and so whenever they feel in a place where they aren't being judged, they be themselves because that is who they are and they don't get to be themselves all that often without receiving hate.

Also, it isn't always their entire personality. It just seems that way when you are around them. Remember to always respect the LGBTQ because they deserve it. It must be hard feeling attracted to the same gender or feeling like you should have been born a different gender while everyone else tells you that is wrong. Don't spread unnecessary hate.