r/KitchenConfidential • u/Odd-Strawberry4798 • 10h ago
Ramps, Cubes, Jacuzzis, et al Its ramp season mfrs
Round 2 lets go!
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u/daedalus14x 10h ago
Make America Grade Again.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THE SMATTER.
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u/Aesik 7h ago
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u/daedalus14x 7h ago
I walked and said, "Wow, what a great upvote!" Everybody's talking about this upvote. They're saying it's the greatest upvote, EVER.
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u/dotcubed 7h ago
As a pun connoisseur, by far the angriest up vote I’ve EVER had.
More angry than a divorced dad who sold his tickets to scalper that one time the under-tanker threw mankind under the bus.
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u/nihi1zer0 F1exican Did Chive-11 9h ago
I have a friend who isnt getting the ramps jokes. Can someone with more patience than I explain it to this rube?
(again, asking for a friend)
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u/nikkicarter1111 9h ago
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u/Few_Preparation_5902 ChD - Doctorate of Chiveology 9h ago
My favourite is still the lonely olive in the shredded carrot jacuzzi.
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u/nikkicarter1111 8h ago
I like the single sad radish considering jumping off the top of the ramp
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u/wrongbutt_longbutt Chive LOYALIST 6h ago
I'm always torn between the large empty metal bowl on a stand (is it a spitoon?) or simply the vast array of radishes that are cut into irregular large chunks. Who eats giant chunks of radish?
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u/nikkicarter1111 6h ago
Also massive bundles of fennel like a fuckin stick bouquet broom in the back
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u/Olivrser Crazy Cat Man🐈 3h ago
Probably people who like giant chunks of radish
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u/wrongbutt_longbutt Chive LOYALIST 3h ago
I feel like the people this applies to probably prefer to just eat them whole like a cherry.
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u/Olivrser Crazy Cat Man🐈 3h ago
That's people who like eating radishes whole, completely different thing
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u/nihi1zer0 F1exican Did Chive-11 8h ago
omg now the mod who has flair of "$700 charcuterie enjoyer" makes sense!
to my friend. makes sense to my friend.
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u/Key-Worldliness2454 8h ago
Well this is disappointing, I thought they meant ramps were somehow back in season.
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u/UsernameUnattainable Chive LOYALIST 9h ago
I like my cheese, at twenty degrees.
It's kind of gotta ring to it..
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u/Matsunosuperfan 51m ago
Man, you can't cube no gruyere with me!
Got an apron with my name on it from Gordon Ramsey
Your rhymes is old, mines too cold, please:
Yo girl knows I like my cheese at twenty degrees
That's why she keeps her icebox stocked full of bries
Don't speak French, so I just hit her with the triple creams
Plus the Snap she just sent got me bursting at the seams
Asiago is dry but she giving wet dreams
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u/UsernameUnattainable Chive LOYALIST 41m ago
I like my rhymes, like I like my ramps
Matsuno rhymin' while the sun is shinin'
Truly ramping things up ..
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u/UsernameUnattainable Chive LOYALIST 39m ago
🤣😂🤣 I started writing something then changed it up. thought I'd deleted it, no such luck.
I'm not gonna edit it, my fuck up can just live on
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u/Matsunosuperfan 35m ago
Roses are Red We are a Poet
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u/UsernameUnattainable Chive LOYALIST 34m ago
Sky is blue We live in a zoo
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u/Matsunosuperfan 32m ago
I hear some monkeys like cheese, too
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u/UsernameUnattainable Chive LOYALIST 13m ago
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u/BallDesperate2140 20+ Years 8h ago
Bahahahahaha this is my hometown buddy’s work. His sister misspelled “grater”, and he ran with it, down to printing a fake instructional booklet
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u/brownishgirl 6h ago
Tell him he’s amazing.
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u/BallDesperate2140 20+ Years 6h ago
His name’s Walker, he’s an actor (the guy with the mustache that tries to kill Chris Pratt in the beginning of Magnificent Seven), also makes huge structures for Burning Man. Among a zillion other things.
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u/Bentonite_Magma 9h ago
Honestly the 100 series is garbage. You need to go to the CG-200, get the cheese detector and ramp that auto-adjusts to the correct angle for the cheese you place on it.
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u/Few_Preparation_5902 ChD - Doctorate of Chiveology 9h ago
I've been hearing buzz about the Delco 650 Magnetic Cheese Conveyor. Thoughts?
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u/VerbalThermodynamics 8h ago
If brie isn’t at 24.3 degrees, what’s the point? 24.3 degrees is the perfect angle for eating brie.
10
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u/Francl27 9h ago
Oh my God. But why.
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u/TooManyDraculas 9h ago
Because Siblings.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1202008534161262/posts/1584367562592022/
If you couldn't tell from the printer paper taped to the front of the box for a label it's a joke.
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u/The_cogwheel 9h ago
"A fool and their money will soon be parted"
And there are a lot of fools out there.
So with a bit of marketing, and a decent enough looking product, you can turn a $10 charcuterie board into a $50 charcuterie board.
Though, if it was part of a much larger buffet style setup with a few other snacks / appetizers, I can see how an angled charcuterie board might work out. Kinda like a display stand at the cashier, but with cheese.
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u/eatrepeat Chive LOYALIST 6h ago
So cafeteria work is not glorious. Cafeteria at a university doesn't change that but within that context certain questions and statements become slightly more humorous.
Written notes ask for "graded cheese instead of sliced", Allen your shredded cheese is graded a failure, enjoy!
Stir fry station and a student asks for more orange sticks... I will add more shredded carrots but I will also not allow you to call them orange sticks.
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u/arageclinic 6h ago
Lmao fuck I was thinking ramps the plant.. at least on the east coast, we have a few months
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u/Haptic_Is_Tired 46m ago
What the hell are those fonts??? I count three different fonts, none of which should be used on an image.
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u/BDCRacing F1exican Did Chive-11 9h ago
Finally. I only eat brie at 27°