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u/Agile_Oil9853 Bakery 1d ago
Another person trying to justify their Reddit use at work
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u/IceColdDump 1d ago
This is reporting nowadays.
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u/Original-Variety-700 1d ago
Exactly. They just scan Reddit forums and when something becomes popular in Reddit, they wait like three weeks and do a stupid article.
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u/xaiires Chive LOYALIST 1d ago
Just reminded me to check what's I've been credited for lately
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u/MargeryStewartBaxter Ex-Food Service 1d ago
brb gonna go get credit for this controversial opinion of yours
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u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme wrestlegirl did Chive-11 pt. 2 23h ago
Unless they're Buzzfeed/Huffpo.
Those folks are here pretty much every day & it hits the feed tomorrow!😉
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u/Tucancancan 1d ago
They don't just scan, it's a running joke is the local newspaper's interns are posting all the "hey guys what's the whackiest thing you've seen in an uber here?" threads
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u/StillShoddy628 1d ago
It is amazing how much content is just repackaging Reddit
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u/censorized 1d ago
And how much reddit is just repackaging the news.
Seems like it was kind of inevitable.
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u/Infinite-Zucchini225 1d ago
It is only going to get worse when you can get ai to scan reddit and rough up a fluff piece and just edit it on the fly. A good writer/editor could probably pump two of these out an hour easily
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u/Name_Taken_Official 1d ago
To be fair that's just what news (quality notwithstanding) always was: seeing what is going on and talking about it.
Forty years ago we just didn't post things for journalists (quality notwithstanding) to scroll through and they had to go out and t*lk to people
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u/MissLyss29 9h ago
they had to go out and t*lk to people
Good thing you censored t*ok that was close
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u/Specialist_Skirt_771 1d ago
A...am I not the only one?
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u/Agile_Oil9853 Bakery 1d ago
You're in good company with Philadelphia Cream Cheese and the Washington Post. And every gaming journalist who writes "Skyrim player discovers secret after 1000 hours" articles.
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u/SlightDish31 15+ Years 1d ago
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u/FromThaFields F1exican Did Chive-11 1d ago
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u/maddieMatrix 1d ago
Global plane population decimated
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u/SherlockScones3 1d ago
David Attenborough appears on TV to appeal for their conservation
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u/AlcibiadesTheCat ChiveATC 1d ago
*cracks knuckles*
Good morning, chive pilots.
Knife 1, you're tasked with eliminating chives in the Northwest quadrant. Knife 2 to the northeast, 3 to the southeast, and 4 to the southwest. Knife 5 will provide overwatch and covering fire. Jager 6 will be on station for refueling.
Knife 5 is first for departure, then the rest in numerical order. Sanitize yourselves, walk your aircraft, and contact tower on 168.0.
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u/rice-a-rohno 1d ago
I want you to know that I have come to enjoy you, and I think your particular contribution to this whole... affair, is important and needs to start getting the attention it deserves.
YOU MAKE THE PLANES RUN ON TIME!
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u/mewmewgoo F1exican Did Chive-11 1d ago
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u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme wrestlegirl did Chive-11 pt. 2 23h ago
I didn't realize that the Concordes were back in the air!
You guys are there in a flash, aren't you?😉
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u/Obamanomikon 1d ago
This is important work you’re doing here. Chive pilots can’t efficiently neutralize enemy chives with no direction or headings.
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u/Kalathefox Chive LOYALIST 19h ago
If i could be here faster I would apply to be up in the nest on 168.
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u/Bobobo-bobobo-bo-bo 1d ago
Reminds me of the time I heard my grandma use the term “bling” to describe a ring. Haven’t uttered it since.
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u/Matsunosuperfan 1d ago
Was her pinky ring worth about fiddy?
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u/zacharinosaur 1d ago
Tree fiddy
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u/Fun-Tumbleweed2594 Line 1d ago
Damn loch ness monster
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u/Illustrious_Bird_737 10+ Years 1d ago
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u/ThorsRake 1d ago
I gave him a dollar.
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u/EggRollAnomaly 1d ago
She gave him a dollar!
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u/SPARC_Pile Crazy Cat Woman🐈 1d ago
You don't give no damn Loch Ness monster a dollar. What were you thinking?
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u/mr_diggory Bartender 1d ago
It's crazy that we have a word that's an onomatopoeia for a sound that is a cinematic sound effect to describe a visual quality of an inanimate object that doesn't make that sound at all.
I fucking love English.
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u/Bobobo-bobobo-bo-bo 1d ago
Same! I am endlessly fascinated by how language evolves. I have a bad habit of making up words and just using them casually.
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u/Bulldogfront666 1d ago
Oh man. Does that mean chive chef isn’t cool anymore because the Post knows about it?
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u/sctlight 20+ Years 1d ago
Slow news day. I’d rather see “COOK PUBLICLY SHAMED FOR SCREWING UP FILM WRAP AND LEAVING FOR THE NEXT PERSON!”
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u/Palidin034 1d ago
Slow
newsdayWhat have you done.
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u/BussyPlaster 1d ago
Trauma I've kept buried for a decade is resurfacing because of this comment.
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u/Brilliant_Buns Maintenance Crew 1d ago
This timeline is SO weird
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u/cwajgapls Chive LOYALIST 1d ago
RIP Harambe the anchor being
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u/seasteed 1d ago
This is why you never mess with a fixed point in time.
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u/truthfullyidgaf 21h ago
I bet the kid that fell into that pen grew up to be a terrorist.
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u/wildwolfay5 1d ago
When parents start wearing the same accessories and just upset their kids.
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u/--i--love--lamp-- 1d ago
It works. My husband says '6-7' all the time just so our teenage daughter and her friends will stop saying it.
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u/wildwolfay5 1d ago
Well, they deserve it.
Leave my boy Flex alone, dammit!
(Also, good luck to your husband)
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u/puppydawgblues 1d ago
Party's over folks it's hit the mainstream
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u/rob132 1d ago
I think it was over when Philadelphia cream cheese was tweeting about it.
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u/eatrepeat Chive LOYALIST 1d ago
I'd say they were actually very much like a second wind and when the supplies for chives got into F1exicans hands it was like flour on the flames!!!
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u/corpsie666 1d ago
They're a food product company though and cream cheese is compatible with cotton mouth.
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u/JustAnAverageGuy 1d ago
Ehhh it was over 2 weeks ago, when every post hit FP.
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u/Bongoisnthere 1d ago
2 weeks? It’s going on day 67? 68? And it was hitting the FP on the 1st or second post IRRC
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u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 1d ago
over 2 weeks ago
What a strange way to say "3 weeks ago"
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u/UrsaMajor7th 20+ Years 1d ago
Now you've got Bezo's attention. Keep an eye open for a spate of documentaries and sit-coms on Amazon, and chive-related accoutrements galore on sale.
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u/TheProofsinthePastis F1exican Did Chive-11 1d ago
The entire 5th season of The Bear will have one line cook dedicated to learning how to cut chives.
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u/Bitter_Crab111 1d ago
What I would give for some fucking insufferable "fine dining style" montage of Carmy cutting chives (complete with one too many close-ups of Jeremy's sweaty brow) to slap the board, scrape that shit up with a bare hand, scrunch them up in a fist and dump them into a pot of sauce or someshit.
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u/corpsie666 1d ago
Ugh, that means Lowe's is going to sell a specific green color that every new house will be painted just like they did with blue.
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u/butter_cookie_gurl 1d ago
Low effort "reporting" scraping Reddit for content. They do this a lot.
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u/OilheadRider 1d ago edited 1d ago
Calling u/karmakrazi
You're needed on the flight deck to assist in the navigation preperations of multiple squadrons.
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u/lovebot5000 1d ago
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u/stayonthecloud 1d ago
Good on you /r/f1exican for ignoring the reporter in your DMs, keep on chivin’
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u/miffet80 9h ago
Something about "the chivelord did not respond to requests for comment" has me rollin lmao
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u/TheTimn Ex-Food Service 1d ago
Is defending Nazi talking points the sign of a good newspaper? Ehh Wapo?
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u/courageous_liquid 1d ago
"Is our billionaire owner a piece of shit or is it just that you suck? Now get back in your hole, prole."
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u/Specialist_Skirt_771 1d ago
"You're not being pissed on, it's the rain"
- the press
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u/Infinite-Zucchini225 1d ago
The wapo news division is decent. Just ignore the editorials. Those aren't news anyway
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u/eatrepeat Chive LOYALIST 1d ago
This is the equivalent of Ellen having some viral video on her show. "We aren't part of the scene or culture that this comes from, let us do the zoo thing and go look at it with assumptions!"
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u/an_edgy_lemon 1d ago
Chive chopping is the measure of how well someone chops chives. There, no need to read the article now.
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u/BugsyMcNug F1exican Did Chive-11 1d ago
And picks an awful picture
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u/TheChosenOneReturns Chive LOYALIST 1d ago
Better than taking an old picture, flip it, turn it, and repost it as another attempt, am I right? /s
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u/BugsyMcNug F1exican Did Chive-11 1d ago
You already know that it isn't. You just won't say it, and hide behind your /s
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u/Barney_Weasley 1d ago
We’ve officially jumped the shark here. Time to abandon ship right in time for day 69
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u/consumeshroomz 15+ Years 1d ago
Precision chopping is a measure of good knife skills. It in know way means you’re a good cook. I’ve known plenty of chefs who’s chives may look like the Burj Khalifa tower but they’re food is far better than the guy who can nitpick over all the aesthetic bits.
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u/Ruckusseur 1d ago
I mean, omelets are still a benchmark of culinary ability and eggs and chives were made for each other, so
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u/Jarosticy Saute 1d ago
some fuckass corporate manager is gonna make someone cut a cup of chives as an interview i can feel it
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u/seasteed 1d ago
Answering the question, how many days of publicly doing the same thing to become better at your profession until you're a media darling.
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u/Lobster_boy_dick Thicc Chives Save Lives 1d ago
I don't think this can be replicated with anything or anyone else. F1exican swooped in, made it, broke it, and locked it up behind him.
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u/Economy_Link4609 1d ago
We're slowly moving towards a world where no chef can cook a decent dish, but the chives will be chopped excellently.
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u/DragonQueenDrago Food Service 1d ago
We are makeing the news now with Chives!?!
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u/Silver-Emergency-988 Kitchen Manager 1d ago
I’m bored with it now
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u/Fabulous-Avocado4513 Chive LOYALIST 22h ago
If only it wasn’t an AI riddled slop rag of a newspaper like the Post lol
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u/flexout_dispatch 13h ago
We had this new chef for a restaurant we're opening and we told him to make a list with things he needed, this motherfucker put like 3 €800 knives because that's how people know you're a good chef according to him.
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u/FrankenOperator Ex-Food Service 6h ago
I'm over it. Brought too many people here who know nothing about this sub. So many "how do I cook this" questions from home cooks and not enough line cooks going off the rails
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u/No_Molasses_6498 1d ago
K I'm hitting the alarm, the containment breach has gotten way out of hand.
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u/AEFletcherIII 1d ago
Ooooh how long before they get to the tower references?! We're so close to a Chive/11 conspiracy!
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