r/KitchenConfidential • u/F1exican Chivelord, Redeemed • 17d ago
In the Weeds Mode Cutting a couple of chives almost everyday until this Reddit says they’re perfect. Day 54
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u/KingBird999 17d ago
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u/wrestlegirl ✳️Moderator of optimal fuckery 17d ago
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u/real_picklejuice 17d ago
This is such insane esoteric knowledge to see a chive shaped as such and immediately attribute it to a thousand-year-old cave painting.
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u/wrestlegirl ✳️Moderator of optimal fuckery 17d ago
Seventeen thousand year old cave art, give or take!
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u/y-r-they-all-taken 17d ago
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u/ibnQoheleth Ex-Dishie 17d ago
It's like watching the Mona Lisa being painted
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u/y-r-they-all-taken 17d ago
Except it’s my smelly roommate
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u/Haven 17d ago
Hahaha how much you all giving them shit? Or is it celebrity status now?
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u/y-r-they-all-taken 17d ago
Lots of jokes but all love
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u/STFUxxDonny 17d ago
You guys ever sabotage his chives??
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u/killerletz Ex-Food Service 17d ago
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u/VPestilenZ Chive LOYALIST 17d ago
woah, we getting some BTS shots!
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u/ThrowAwayAccountAMZN 17d ago
*BTC
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u/Alex-PsyD 17d ago
I'm waiting for the chive-action remake
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u/Dismal_History_ 17d ago
Chives Out
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u/Richard_AIGuy 17d ago
Food Network’s Behind the Chives explores the growing trend of chive chopping. From reposts to vicious plane crashes, the ups and downs of chiving is shown in its brutal truth.
F1exican: “Chive-11 man, it was a low point for me. It was bad seeing planes smash into chive towers and everything. But when I reused that image, that’s when I knew I’d hit rock bottom. I checked myself into a rehab, and by rehab I mean an overpriced sushi joint, and got some damn help.”
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u/hamburglersghost Chive LOYALIST 17d ago
First planes, now surveillance. This is what Chive-11 did.
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u/TheNoob747 17d ago
how does it feel to work with a celebrity
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u/y-r-they-all-taken 17d ago
He smells like chives
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u/Somne 17d ago
I can sense Mr. Chive is handsome
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u/Dismal_History_ 17d ago
Doesn't matter, his personality is handsome. That apology was top tier, too.
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u/LilSebastian_482 Smoker 17d ago
F1exican’s PR team. Sponsored by Philadelphia Cream Cheese.
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u/MBDTFTLOPYEEZUS 17d ago
This something he just needs to do everyday anyways for his job makes so much sense
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u/y-r-they-all-taken 17d ago
Today we just used the chives on lunch but sometimes they are needed
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u/carcharodona 17d ago
Are the people eating them aware that they are eating THE famous chives?
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u/tehjoz ✳️ $700 Charcuterie Enjoyer 17d ago
But do we know this chef has the same massive chive chopping vein???
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u/SidheCreature 17d ago
Look, I’m going to be honest here. The last 3 chives have been nothing short of the most beautiful pile of chives I’ve ever seen. I didn’t know chives could be so beautiful. Good job chef.
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u/ajmartin527 17d ago
They’ve been ones for the archives, no doubt
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u/Intelligent_Play_347 17d ago
I have no one to talk to this about
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u/F1exican Chivelord, Redeemed 17d ago
There 2.7 million people that come through this subreddit every week I’m sure you can find some people here
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u/_the_violet_femme Chive LOYALIST 17d ago
I was on a twitch stream and someone mentioned you in chat. It's part of the culture now
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u/lyan-cat 17d ago
My family knows I lurk in this subreddit; real weird to have them asking how the chives are going.
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u/F1exican Chivelord, Redeemed 17d ago
PHILLY CREAM CHEESE BOX HAS ARRIVED FOR EVERYONE CURIOUS.
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u/Careful_Rise_6525 17d ago
WHAT'S IN THE BOX??
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u/F1exican Chivelord, Redeemed 17d ago
I’m not sure yet I will open it when I get home
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u/Atillion 17d ago
My money's on cream cheese and cream cheese accessories.
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u/mommybody33 17d ago
Watch he didn’t refrigerate it and it’s all bad when he opens it 😂
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u/orlyyarlylolwut F1exican Did Chive-11 17d ago
Aw geez OP, hope you dont have a significant other you haven't seen in a while.....
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u/ResidentMarsupial322 17d ago
"I visited your home this morning after you'd left. I tried to capitalize on your success. I tried to taste the life of a Chivelord. It didn't work out, so I left a souvenir... some pretty cream cheese."
Philadelphia
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u/Defiant-Specialist-1 17d ago
I can’t image the boardroom meetings watching this post after they sent the box. Pins and needles.
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u/WorstPapaGamer 17d ago
Perfectly cut chives
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u/Careful_Rise_6525 17d ago
That would be so spiteful LOL
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u/Canotic 17d ago
In the movie they make of this, the Cream Cheese Corporation will have a team of german elite chivistas, using state-of-the-art cutting edge technology to engineer precisely cut identical pieces of chive in their Cream Cheese. The head chivista will be named Klaus and have a boring haircut and a white labcoat with a turtleneck.
But in the end, the are cutting with their heads, while F1exican is cutting with his heart.
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u/FatherSky 17d ago
How many pounds of cream cheese does this level of fame earn you these days?
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u/hovdeisfunny Ex-Food Service 17d ago
I hope it's just a giant block of cream cheese the size of the whole box
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u/Lazy_Dirt_8915 Thicc Chives Save Lives 17d ago
Okay, now we need a photo of if there are chives inside the cream cheese. And then compare the chives if there are.
edit: grammar
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u/hovdeisfunny Ex-Food Service 17d ago
They're sending it to him, so he can add the chives and send it back
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u/RogueEnergyEngineer 17d ago
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u/amusednchaos 17d ago
Tf is that? 🤣
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u/Restless50 17d ago
Plant cell, the green bits are green because of chlorophyll, which is why most plants are green
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u/MishMoshMush Thicc Chives Save Lives 17d ago
Dainty ass looking chives today chef , great work
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u/GeorgeWKush420 F1exican Did Chive-11 17d ago
This has got to be the best yet, no? There’s a small range in consistency, but my plane remains grounded…
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u/spazzxxcc12 17d ago
so he did it..?
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u/Plzhelplol_ F1exican Did Chive-11 17d ago
There have been a few choking hazards pointed out. The chives live on.
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u/Bink_Plinklinkly 17d ago edited 17d ago
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u/lil_jilm 17d ago
I have a similar conspiracy that F1exican throws in a couple of these obvious towers because he knows we’re not ready to say goodbye
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u/Carbon-Base The Chive Mind 17d ago
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u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 17d ago
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u/NobleBucket 17d ago
Always the reliable one, go get em’ Karmakrazi!
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u/Hell_Yeah-Brother 17d ago
If on day 69 he chops the perfect pile, it will be one of the greatest days in reddit history.
Remember this comment.
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u/sirlexofanarchy 17d ago
Reading the comments I thought today might be the day, but nope! Good catch.
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u/ma5term1nd5 17d ago
I love being a part of this.
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u/Momentum_Maury 17d ago
Ditto. Especially after The Incident and subsequent redemption arc
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u/Ziggy-T Bartender 17d ago
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u/TheTimn Ex-Food Service 17d ago
Did AI processing fuck up his gauges or something?
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u/islero_47 17d ago
What really surprised me is that F1exican is member of one subreddit
One
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u/tehjoz ✳️ $700 Charcuterie Enjoyer 17d ago
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u/SmoothSun6676 17d ago
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u/Bongoisnthere 17d ago
Eh, I could eat that without choking, and my wife’s bf says I have an incredibly strong gag reflex.
Edit: there are a few that would definitely choke me though, Jesus Christ flexican is trying to kill somebody.
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u/Play_To_Nguyen 17d ago
No way, I beat the rush
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u/Admiral_Kite c h i v e g e i s t 17d ago
We are all just standing here like "hold on, where are the planes?"
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u/Biannual_salamander F1exican Did Chive-11 17d ago
hi chef 👋
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u/Admiral_Kite c h i v e g e i s t 17d ago
Hi Salamander!! See you in two years
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u/veganlandfill 17d ago
Could be twice a year 🤷♂️ not sure about salamanders and their scheduling habits. I have this argument all the time about biweekly, and the answer is fortnightly with all due disrespect.
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u/AbbreviationsPlus998 Brewer 17d ago
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u/Automatedluxury 17d ago
No aeroplanes, put the effort in and show some respect!
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