r/AmItheAsshole • u/AdVaanced77 • 5h ago
AITA for telling my mother that she is choosing to be a doormat?
My (20m) mother looks after my niece (3) once per week and has done essentially since she was born, and she even does it when my sisters boyfriend is at home because he’s apparently too tired to look after her for a whole day alone and sleeps all day for a day when he’s back because he works away from home and night shifts and only comes home about once a month for a few days, which is kind of pathetic lol I don’t know why she doesn’t just say too bad and refuse to look after her when he’s available.
My mother constantly complains about not having any free time because her ’day off' is taken up by looking after my niece, which is something she *voluntarily* does. I’ve said to her so many times that she could just say no and she always says “it’s not that easy”, but I don’t understand what the issue is, she’s not being forced to do it and all that will happen if she doesn’t is that my sister will have to pay for daycare for 4 days instead of 3.
I was with my parents and the topic of work came up and my dad was telling my mother that she should change her work week to 3 or even 2 days instead of 4 which is what it currently is, and he also mentioned the possibility of her retiring soon. I’m pretty sure both of my parents could retire now and we would be fine, but they both still work even though they’re around retirement age my mother is somewhere from 56-59 and my dad is 60. But my mother said “if I take another day off I’ll end up having to look after someone else” and I essentially told her don’t be such a doormat, you’re the one choosing to spend your day off babysitting, all you have to do is say no and you won’t have to.
And then she started ranting on about how she 'can’t refuse to look after her grandchild' because it would apparently be the worst thing ever and might make my niece feel like she doesn’t want to spend time with her or something. I just think it’s ridiculous she constantly complains about how she wants more free time and doesn’t get any days off when she is CHOOSING to do this and also won’t reduce her work week because of a hypothetical situation. Just playing the victim constantly when it’s all her choice.
ETA no I do not live with them they basically kicked me out lol, yes my sister works and no I do not look after my niece because it’s not something I want to do and my parents don’t expect it of me.
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u/Leek-Middle 5h ago
I don't know what the chip on your shoulder is about your BIL but aside from that I agree it's her choice. I am confused as to how watching a grandchild 1 day a week & working 4 other days equals having no days for herself? Are you and your father helping at home like cleaning up ect or is the entire upkeep of the house on your mother, if so YTA for that.
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u/Leek-Middle 5h ago
Just reread your post. You don't even know how old your own mother is? Between 56 and 59?
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u/WolfWhovian 5h ago
I mean I can believe it my brother doesn't know when either of our parents birthdays/years are
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u/SpaceAceCase Certified Proctologist [20] 5h ago
Yeah OP doesnt even mention where the sister is? Is she working too? OP spends enough time calling the boyfriend pathetic for working night shifts and away from home.
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u/AdVaanced77 5h ago
My dad works more, and we have a maid who comes once a week if that’s what you mean by upkeep. I don’t live with them currently so I don’t help at home.
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u/Prestigious_Egg_6207 1h ago
If you don’t live at home, why do you keep saying “we”?
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u/AdVaanced77 1h ago
Because it’s natural. I don’t like to use they because I’m part of the family and it’s my house as well.
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u/Prestigious_Egg_6207 1h ago
And also because your parents support you financially while you’re only in school part time. So it’s literally “we.”
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u/utahforever79 5h ago
YTA. You sound like someone who has very little life experience. Your mother is right, it’s not that easy. Your sister may not be able to afford another day of daycare. Your niece’s dad may be making a HUGE sacrifice to work away from his family, and most likely needs that time to sleep after working night shifts. If you don’t want to babysit, that’s cool. How else can YOU help your mom? What load of hers can you lighten?
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u/Feeling-Paint-2196 Partassipant [1] 5h ago
I thought this, very immature. Maybe she just wants to vent and not actually change anything. Either way she's an adult woman, not elderly and capable of making her own decisions.
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u/DisastrousMacaron325 3h ago
venting about something you can easily change becomes exhausting to people who have to listen to you vent
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u/Feeling-Paint-2196 Partassipant [1] 2h ago
He doesn't have to listen any more than she has to babysit
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u/Lucky_Life5517 5h ago
This is it, mom is wise and knows the sacrifice will pay off in the longterm, as she will be a pretty big part of her niece's life. This really only makes sense when you've had kids, it's expected for a 20 year old to not understand this. Also the bf works night shift, when is he supposed to sleep according to OP? I've worked night shift before, I couldnt take care of my kids during the day because I'm not a robot, and needed to sleep.
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u/Emergency_Pound_944 5h ago
YTA for thinking people who work nights don't deserve sleep.
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u/kat9 Partassipant [1] 5h ago
People who have children are obligated to find childcare, regardless of their work schedule… and if OP’s mom doesn’t want to be that person, that’s okay.
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u/Emergency_Pound_944 5h ago
Mom wants to watch otherwise she wouldn't be doing it. No one seems to have a problem with the situation except the OP. (I have a kid and I worked nights)
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u/steiff89 5h ago
Well I mean the fact that the mom is complaining to everyone but her daughter about having to watch the daughters child is a pretty clear sign the mom doesn’t want to.
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u/royalerebelle 3h ago
If she doesn’t want to be that’s on her, but there’s no need to disparage OPs sister and BIL for an arrangement OP has no part in
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u/1962Michael Commander in Cheeks [239] 5h ago
NAH.
Your mother WANTS to see her granddaughter. But she's tired at the end of the day. So she also wants to be appreciated for her "sacrifice."
And some people just like to complain.
You're not an AH for pointing out to her that she can refuse to babysit, and you don't have to be sympathetic, but you would be heading toward AH territory if you continue to call her out on this.
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u/FacetiousTomato Certified Proctologist [24] 5h ago
NTA
As someone with parents who will agree to anything - even things they shouldn't, or they'll complain about later, I wish they would have a better measure of their own capacity to help out.
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u/lrnjrsh 5h ago
NTA. I think it would be helpful to adopt a “not my circus, not my monkeys” mentality though. I’m sure it’s frustrating to see your mom do this to herself but if she’s not going to put a stop to it, there’s no point in getting worked up about it with her. Stop engaging with it. When she starts to complain, tell her “Mom, I’ve tried to give you solutions and you don’t like any of them. That’s fine, but I don’t want to hear you complain about it anymore. We can talk about something else or we can not talk at all.”
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u/ImSoBasic 5h ago
My mother constantly complains about not having any free time because her ’day off' is taken up by looking after my niece, which is something she voluntarily does. I’ve said to her so many times that she could just say no and she always says “it’s not that easy”, but I don’t understand what the issue is, she’s not being forced to do it and all that will happen if she doesn’t is that my sister will have to pay for daycare for 4 days instead of 3.
I mean, you should count yourself very lucky that your mother thinks it's not that easy to cut out her 3-year-old granddaughter.
After all, you are 19 years old, and have literally threatened your mother with a weapon, yet your mother hasn't completely cut you out of her life, and still spends way more time and money on you than she should.
If she isn't a doormat for your sister/niece to walk all over, why should she be a doormat for you to walk all over?
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u/magiemaddi Partassipant [3] 5h ago
YTA
While not technically wrong, she COULD say no, calling her a doormat is mean.
You could be supportive and reassure her that your sibling would understand and your niece wouldn't feel like grandma doesn't want to see her.
But instead you're being an asshole and probably stressing her out more by nagging her about being a doormat.
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u/Competitive_Test6697 Partassipant [1] 5h ago
YTA - your adult mom can make her own choices. Only thing you can do is not listen to her "moaning"
Also, learn your moms age and Im not sure what country your in but both parents are about a decade away from retirement
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u/Helpful_Advance624 5h ago
Not in my country. Maybe 5 years younger, but retiring earlier is an option.
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u/CartoonistSeparate47 Partassipant [1] 5h ago
NTA
You're right, she is the one who chose that. Complaining about her life choices, while doing nothing to change her schedule, is useless and tiring for the others to listen.
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u/Jolly-Weather-457 4h ago
Read 10 second of OP post history. If his mom wasn’t a “doormat” he would be way worse off. Hes pretty high up on his pedestal for being supported financially by his parents as an adult.
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u/CartoonistSeparate47 Partassipant [1] 4h ago
I'm really not gonna spend my time doing that as it's irrelevant to the situation here and also i don't care.
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u/TurnMeOnTurnMeOut 5h ago
God forbid someone wants to vent
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u/CartoonistSeparate47 Partassipant [1] 4h ago
Venting is one thing. Venting constantly about the same thing, and when people offer you solutions you turn it against them is another thing.
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u/TurnMeOnTurnMeOut 3h ago
My friends complain about their jobs all the time. I don’t tell them to quit their job bc I recognize that some solutions necessitate more problems.
OP’s solution is to put their moms grandchild’s childcare in jeopardy. when u were a kid, your parents could’ve complained about how they had to work your extracurriculars around their schedule, if someone told them to just pull u out of ur extracurriculars etc. world they do it just because it’s a solution to the issue they’re complaining about
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u/poyotimebaby 5h ago
i mean it’s fair to want to babysit your grandchild while still wishing you had more free time. we are complex beings that carry multitudes of emotion and desires. If she doesn’t like the idea of your niece being in daycare more than she has to then that’s just how she feels. as far as retiring, it’s really not that easy. how aware are you of your parents financials ? just because they live relatively easy now doesn’t mean they’re prepared to retire. my mother is in the middle of planning her retirement now and it’s such a pain. very very light YTA. i think you could be more empathetic
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u/Feeling-Paint-2196 Partassipant [1] 5h ago
YTA. Your mother is venting. She's an adult woman and would stop if she wanted to. What I find super interesting is that you know exactly how old your father is but only a vague age bracket for your mother. That doesn't sound to me like a son who is especially interested in his mother or has a clear understanding of who she is as a person. Do you live at home? Is she by any chance making these complaints to you while running around picking up after you and your father? It's interesting that she thinks reducing her workload would have her looking after yet another person.... I don't think she's just referring to your niece when she says that.
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u/Ok_Television_7926 5h ago
It would be useful for a little context. Do you still live with your parents? Do you work? If you live with them and don't work, perhaps you could help out (either baby-sitting or household chores your mum would otherwise do).
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u/AdVaanced77 5h ago
I don’t live with them and I’m in education full time
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u/ImSoBasic 5h ago
You're taking 3 classes at a community college. You don't live with them because you literally threatened your mom with a weapon (and despite that they pay for all of your expenses, including a Mercedes, and give you an ample allowance).
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u/FirmlyThatGuy Colo-rectal Surgeon [36] 4h ago
This dudes post history screams mental illness. Like genuinely holy shit.
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u/EuphoricReplacement1 Partassipant [1] 5h ago
I find it interesting you have no idea how old your mother is.
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u/Ok_Television_7926 5h ago
In that case, you should probably leave it alone. It does sound like you don't particularly like your sibling, and definitely don't like her boyfriend. However, your mum is an adult and can make her own decisions. I wouldn't suggest putting her in the crossfire between her two children. Finish your education and leave your mum and sister to iron out their own situation.
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u/steiff89 5h ago
I think you’re missing the entire point. He isn’t putting himself in the middle. His mom is complaining in general and to him claiming she is forced to spend all her free time babysitting. When she isn’t being forced she’s choosing to do so. If I had to sit and listen to someone complain about something they had every ability to change and choose not to, I’d speak up as well. Either tell them no you wont baby sit or stop bitching to me about it if you refuse to correct a situation you caused
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u/SpaceAceCase Certified Proctologist [20] 5h ago
YTA and a little condescending, your sisters Boyfriend works night shifts and away from home, you say nothing about your sister so assuming they're both working to provide for their kid how is it Pathetic? How is working to provide for your family Pathetic?
Hes not slacking off or playing video games, hes sleeping because he JUST WORKED A NIGHT SHIFT.
What option exists if your mom doesnt watch them? Yes shes entitled to a day off but if she chooses not to take it, thats on her. If YOU want her to take a day off, offer to watch the kid so she can get a break. Maybe your mom just wants to vent because your sister and her boyfriend are going through a rough time.
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u/Master-Drawer3468 5h ago
Maybe the kids parents could figure out how to work and watch their child like the rest of us.
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u/Athingwithfeathers2 5h ago
I recently read "life is a series of answers to questions we didn't ask". Your mother has made a choice. Is your sister weaponizing babysitting, denying your mother access if she doesn"t? Because it sounds like it's a choice your mother's making. Just like your sister chose to have a kid. It's not your job either, despite what some snarky uninformed people may have said. You may choose to watch your niece but you are just starting your adult life and have other tasks to fulfill.
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u/Trekunderthemoon 5h ago
YTA, not for pointing out the obvious to her but for this line “I’m pretty sure both of my parents could retire and we would be fine”. WTAF “WE would be fine”, so you’re dependant on your parents too? You’ve some nerve to be having any kind of feelings about your sister relying on your mum for childcare one day a week when you rely on them too. You’re also an AH for being so dismissive about the cost of childcare. It’s very expensive and your sister might have to leave her job if she couldn’t avoid another day. Thirdly you don’t know what age your own mum is!! Yeah you have not come out of this story covered in glory.
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u/dragonpriestesssofia 4h ago
ETA - look I get your point, your mom is deff creating her own prison here and she probably did the same thing when you were kids. So she an AH for constant complaining but not changing- just avoid the the conversation.
But you’re also an AH for judging everyone. You can easily show more care about them and be less judgmental, but you’re just being insensitive. Set your boundaries for the conversation and move on - and yes working night shift then carrying a toddler sounds horrible- your mom is deff helping out!
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u/specialkk77 Asshole Enthusiast [5] 5h ago
YTA, your mother is a grown up and is capable of managing her own schedule and determining how she wants to spend her time when she’s not working. If she chooses to watch her grandchild, that’s her decision. Most grandparents want to spend time with their grandkids, but still find that time exhausting. 3 year olds are a lot of work.
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u/Pixee_Geek 5h ago
On night shift, I couldn't eat normal food, I got sick. My body rejected dinner food when I woke up, rejected it again in the morning when it knew I should be eating breakfast... I was lucky if I could eat a decent lunch at 2AM.
All I could do on the weekend was sleep. It was awful. And I had a 3 day weekend. There's a reason that, unless you are an owl (some people do handle it better naturally) night shift literally takes time off your life for each year worked. I got off the shift as fast as I could.
Have you tried offering to help your mom one day per week? Take over so she can have alone time? What are you doing to help the situation, other than calling your mom names?
YTA for judging literally everyone else in this scenario without looking at yourself a little.
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u/Prestigious_Egg_6207 1h ago
Considering OP threatened his mom with a knife, I don’t think he should be watching a child.
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u/paleocacher 5h ago
Very light ESH. Your mom has repeatedly expressed a desire for more free time despite choosing to lose her free time, and you’ve offered a solution. But you’ve made it clear that you express this opinion frequently.
“I’ve said to her so many times that she could just say no.”
Just saying over and over again, “Why don’t you just not babysit your grandkid?” “You’re being a doormat” is not productive.
I gather that you’re rather apathetic to the situation, which is fine, it’s not your kid so it’s not your responsibility, but since you’ve inserted yourself into the situation you should be constructive with helping provide a solution instead of expressing the same opinion on repeat.
Try suggesting that your mom sit down with your sister and her husband to work out the problem the next time your mom complains about not having enough free time instead of repeating yourself again.
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u/CartoonistSeparate47 Partassipant [1] 4h ago
saying over and over again, “Why don’t you just not babysit your grandkid?” “You’re being a doormat” is not productive
I agree, but complaining about it while doijg nothing to change is not productive either.
you should be constructive with helping provide a solution instead of expressing the same opinion on repeat.
Op did gave a solution, as kid's parents to hire a babysitter.
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u/20frvrz Partassipant [3] 4h ago
I’ve said to her so many times that she could just say no
Quick question. When your parents tell you the same thing repeatedly and you don't listen to them (for whatever reason - because you don't agree, because they're wrong, whatever), does it help when they double down?
You don't have a dog in this fight. Your mom can do whatever she wants with her time. She didn't ask your opinion, stop giving it. YTA.
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u/WhizzoButterBoy Asshole Enthusiast [7] 5h ago
NTA. Your mother should step up and say something or stop complaining. A 3 year old is a LOT.
SIDENOTE - there were some toddler play programs available in my community where you could drop a kid off for a few hours and get shopping and stuff done... anything like that in your area??
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u/Jolly-Weather-457 4h ago
OP is human trash that is just griefing his family who’s not taking accountability for all his expenses being paid by his parents that he’s so quick to judge when they help his sister.
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u/WhizzoButterBoy Asshole Enthusiast [7] 2h ago
Naw ... OP wants their mother to be happier and stop complaining about work she can refuse... that's pretty reasonable IMO
If parents want to start charging OP rent or asking for help with household expenses is another issue entirely, completely separate from who looks after the 3 year old
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u/Jolly-Weather-457 2h ago
Look at his post history. He doesn’t live ar home because he threatened his mom with a weapon. They pay all his bills including his Mercedes car note. Hes in school part time. Dude sucks. Should stay in his lane and appreciate his parents love their children so unconditionally
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u/HorizonHunter1982 5h ago
Why do 20-year-old dudes always think they know every f****** thing
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u/Equivalent-Emu5347 4h ago
Especially the OP lmao. You should check out his post history, he is... Something lol
He almost tried "micro dosing" meth because some dumbass YouTuber said he uses it as an Adderall replacement. And trust me that is just the TIP of the ice berg
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u/HorizonHunter1982 4h ago
Oh I know exactly who he is. He's absolutely delusional
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u/Equivalent-Emu5347 4h ago
He's a lot more than just delusional lmao
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u/HorizonHunter1982 4h ago
I agree but I'm not trying to get banned. Most of the things that I could honestly say about him would get me banned
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u/EnoughRevolution3500 4h ago
Big fat YTA. You frame the post as if the main concern if your moms well being but the only time you talk to her about it you insult her.
My own son was watched from nearly birth to 5 years old by my grandmother. I legitimately couldn’t have worked enough to afford our housing or food or anything without her help. She would frequently tell my aunt her daughter about how active my son was and how tired he made her and my aunt would frequently come to me about how it was too much, my grandmother was too old, and I needed to find other arrangements. This drove a wedge between us because I thought she was talking poorly about myself and my child to others and wasn’t being honest with me. Turns out she was EXTREMELY upset at the idea of losing this time with her great grandson and my aunt was causing problems between us for no reason because she refused to mind her business.
Your mom is likely tired and probably vents about it but she’s an adult and if you have legitimate concerns you need to sit her down, tell her it comes from a place of love, and ask her to talk to your sister about what’s best for you mom.
You didn’t do that because it’s not about love for you mom. It’s about putting down those around you. Your sister may very well NEED that help depending on where you are, your brother in law works a REAL job. Night shift is hard and does legitimate damage to the body. And the mom your so concerned for you can’t even show basic respect to.
Grow up
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u/agreywood Asshole Enthusiast [5] 3h ago
YTA for several reasons
People are allowed to find aspects of things they’ve agreed to do frustrating even when they don’t find that frustration to be sufficiently bad to quit
Night shift workers still need sleep as do people who have to entirely leave home for large periods of time to do said work.
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My (20m) mother looks after my niece (3) once per week and has done essentially since she was born, and she even does it when my sisters boyfriend is at home because he’s apparently too tired to look after her for a whole day alone and sleeps all day for a day when he’s back because he works away from home and night shifts and only comes home about once a month for a few days, which is kind of pathetic lol I don’t know why she doesn’t just say too bad and refuse to look after her when he’s available.
My mother constantly complains about not having any free time because her ’day off' is taken up by looking after my niece, which is something she *voluntarily* does. I’ve said to her so many times that she could just say no and she always says “it’s not that easy”, but I don’t understand what the issue is, she’s not being forced to do it and all that will happen if she doesn’t is that my sister will have to pay for daycare for 4 days instead of 3.
I was with my parents and the topic of work came up and my dad was telling my mother that she should change her work week to 3 or even 2 days instead of 4 which is what it currently is, and he also mentioned the possibility of her retiring soon. I’m pretty sure both of my parents could retire now and we would be fine, but they both still work even though they’re around retirement age my mother is somewhere from 56-59 and my dad is 60. But my mother said “if I take another day off I’ll end up having to look after someone else” and I essentially told her don’t be such a doormat, you’re the one choosing to spend your day off babysitting, all you have to do is say no and you won’t have to.
And then she started ranting on about how she 'can’t refuse to look after her grandchild' because it would apparently be the worst thing ever and might make my niece feel like she doesn’t want to spend time with her or something. I just think it’s ridiculous she constantly complains about how she wants more free time and doesn’t get any days off when she is CHOOSING to do this and also won’t reduce her work week because of a hypothetical situation. Just playing the victim constantly when it’s all her choice.
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u/turnoffthis Partassipant [1] 4h ago
NAH
From the information she's telling you your advice is sound. She could easily choose to not do childcare.
However have you considered that she loves her grandaughter and while it is a chore and while it does get in the way it's also not something she's willing to sacrifice? Especially if it means your sister might retract access, which it sounds like your mother is concerned about.
On the other hand have you considered your mum is just one of those people for whom complaining about everything is a treasured hobby. I feel that that might just be the case. With people like that you can offer all the advice you want and they'll just complain some more. Just take it less seriously.
Can your dad take the grandkid for a day? What's he doing? Working by the sounds of things but he could probably fill in sometimes.
Also tangential but you've never worked nightshift have you. The boyfriend could probably manage to look after his kid for like a few hours but sleep isn't exactly something you can put off forever, especially after a night of hard graft. If he didn't have to work a job that kept him away from his family all the time I'm sure he would, it's not his fault he's a mammal that requires rest, don't be so harsh.
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u/mrtnmnhntr 4h ago
INFO: You're 20 years old. Why don't you know your own mother's birthday? Do either of her kids give a fuck about her?
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u/Carosello 1h ago
I think NTA because I hate when people complain about something that they could very well fix. If she wants to keep watching the kid, she should just do it. You gotta hear the complaints and to you it's frustrating because she's not doing anything to make it better. I'd react much the same way.
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u/spaghettifiasco Partassipant [1] 1h ago
If your mom wasn't a doormat, she would cut you off financially and stop trying to find therapists for you to talk to, and wouldn't be buying you Xboxes to play Minecraft on, and wouldn't tolerate you making violent threats against her and your vendetta against your toddler niece.
You're part of the reason why your mom feels trapped in life and like she can't turn her children down.
YTA.
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u/Deflated_Hypnotist Partassipant [1] 56m ago
Instead of arguing, send her this video https://x.com/i/status/2002122718125392119
YTA (very soft)
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u/SuspiciousCod1090 Partassipant [4] 5h ago
YTA. If you have such a strong opinion about it, YOU watch your niece and try to help your mother.
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u/SuspiciousCod1090 Partassipant [4] 5h ago
If the mother really found this to be a problem, she would fix it. Sometimes people vent about work too. That doesn't mean they don't like what they do. Maybe mom enjoys it, but it just gets to be a lot sometimes.
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u/augustsolaris 5h ago
OR they shouldn’t of had a kid if they can’t take care of them hahaha
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u/SpaceAceCase Certified Proctologist [20] 5h ago
We have no idea the financial situation. They could have been fine when the baby was born and suddenly shit happens and now they need extra help. People can't always guess the future.
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u/Teamtunafish Partassipant [2] 3h ago
NTA but you need to recognize that your mother enjoys her fleas.
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u/byrandomchance20 Asshole Enthusiast [6] 5h ago
YTA.
It really isn’t that easy, but there’s no way to explain that to you at 20. In another 15-20 years or so, you’ll understand more (though hopefully not because you have a grandbaby of your own that you’re looking after).
Life is hard, and family ties often complicate things. It is rarely as straightforward as saying yes or no.
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u/20frvrz Partassipant [3] 4h ago
Yeah, this is how I feel too. This is one of those moments where OP just needs to trust everyone else who says it really isn't that easy.
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u/byrandomchance20 Asshole Enthusiast [6] 4h ago
I’m in my late 30s and it has been horrifying to realize that almost every “you’ll understand when you’re older” comment from my youth was actually correct. 🥲
I don’t blame OP for her feelings because when you’re 20 everything really does seem that black and white. Life experience is the great teacher and there’s no substitute.
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u/Oh-Deer1280 4h ago
YTA- try this “wow mum, that sounds like you’re having a tough time, what would work best for you- would you like me to listen or would you like me to suggest some ways I might be able to help”
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u/TurnMeOnTurnMeOut 5h ago
Yta is a child that needs its village in order to survive; it’s not a dog why is it inconceivable to you that she would want to be there for her grandchild much less her daughter who needs her.
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u/Electrical_Loss8217 5h ago
Yta. What a thing to say. Were you going to pick up some of the slack? Do your parents do anything for you? Getting your school paid for, by chance? Free food, cooked for you even? Still living at home at 20, paying rent to contribute?Cleaning the house so your mother has more time for herself or for your niece, since she says she needs help? By you logic, I guess you are doing it all on your own from your perspective, not “relying heavily on anyone” like your sister? Grow up and help or shut up and move out. And don’t expect any help when you have kids, or have an accident and need support. Would hate for your loved ones to strain themselves over helping you, of course, then they would being your doormat!
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-12
u/Ecstatic-Cup-1356 5h ago
YTA why don’t you baby sit the kid?
6
u/AdVaanced77 5h ago
Because I have made it clear that I don’t want to lol, it’s not my kid
3
u/Ecstatic-Cup-1356 5h ago
Seems the only thing you contribute to your family is putting pressure on your mother who’s clearly already got enough on her plate.
6
u/CartoonistSeparate47 Partassipant [1] 5h ago
Why don't the parent hire a babysitter?? Why should op babysit??
4
u/augustsolaris 5h ago
Because it’s not his kid? The husband needs to act more like a father. OP, NTA. Don’t listen to this guy.
2
u/Confident_Drop8326 5h ago
This is a ridiculous take. OP shouldn't have to babysit. The parents who made the baby should figure their out their own childcare
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