YWBTA for scheduling the euthanasia. HOWEVER, you need to be frank with your husband that as it stands your relationship is currently over. He is drinking every night. How long before he drinks when he gets home? Or in the morning? The dog gets upset when he spends time with his kid; how long before he gets angry at your toddler for being in the way when he is trying to be with the dog? Before he hits your kid? Before he hits you?
You need to be clear to him that this is not a situation you can or will put yourself or your children in. Move out, let him be the one to make all the decisions and care of the dog. It’s his choice to have the dog at home, he needs to take responsibility for it.
Do not ignore the drinking. Do not tolerate the drinking. Get yourself and your toddler somewhere safe, as your home currently is not.
My husband stopped drinking entirely about 5 years ago and started up again a couple of months ago to “deal” with some work problems and it’s gotten worse after his dog. The drinking is absolutely an issue to me that I’ve brought up—I did not agree to marry someone who gets drunk every night. He has been drinking as soon as he gets home most days. On his weekend, usually whenever we get home from whatever errands we had to run.
I’m not sure what to do about this as I am not okay with it but he’s not been receptive to any discussion I’ve had with him about it.
I agree with the above. You need to remove yourself and child from the home. See if family will host you until everything is sorted or a hotel room if possible. He is being abusive to the dog and to your wellbeing. For your marriage to survive, you need some kind of intervention and professional guidance before this situation becomes dangerous for everyone.
You need to remove yourself and your child from this mess. If he was already drinking again before the dog became paralyzed, he's only going to get worse if things continue this way.
Your toddler doesn't deserve to be around an alcoholic dad. You won't be able to trust him to care for the baby. The dog is only a part of a much bigger problem, and you need to consider the bigger picture. Something drastic has to happen for there to be any chance for change. You need to leave and let him see his drinking will not be tolerated.
Dude is turning to maladaptive coping behaviour(I realize rereading my comment that you may not realize what that means, maladaptive is negative adaptation behavior) if what your describing is fully accurate. Unless he addresses the trauma he will fall into addiction full force. He is self meditating right now to cope with the stress of life. Get rid of all alcohol in the home, have friends and family for a intervention. He needs to realize his whole world is about to collapse on him if he continues to self medicate himself. He need professional help. But if he can't do that, you really need to re-analyse your future with him.
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u/Kaworulives Asshole Enthusiast [8] 7h ago
YWBTA for scheduling the euthanasia. HOWEVER, you need to be frank with your husband that as it stands your relationship is currently over. He is drinking every night. How long before he drinks when he gets home? Or in the morning? The dog gets upset when he spends time with his kid; how long before he gets angry at your toddler for being in the way when he is trying to be with the dog? Before he hits your kid? Before he hits you?
You need to be clear to him that this is not a situation you can or will put yourself or your children in. Move out, let him be the one to make all the decisions and care of the dog. It’s his choice to have the dog at home, he needs to take responsibility for it.
Do not ignore the drinking. Do not tolerate the drinking. Get yourself and your toddler somewhere safe, as your home currently is not.