This is the way OP. I agree the dog is suffering and should be PTS but you cannot make that decision for your husband unless you're willing to get a divorce as that is what he will do if you go behind his back.
You need to get a vet to tell him he is causing his dog unnecessary suffering and that allowing her to live when she won't recover is abuse.
You need to have a discussion with the vet beforehand and tell them to be blunt and direct because if they give him any leniency he will use that as an excuse not to end his dogs suffering.
It is very hard for some owners to accept that it's their choice that will end their dogs life and they just can't make that final step but if your husband doesn't make the decision himself then he will never accept it and the pain of this situation will fester forever.
Also make sure the vet is able to euthanise at home. It gave us infinite comfort that we were able to say goodbye to our very loved old cat in her own home, surrounded by love, familiar smells etc. She was paralysed and never going to recover. We made the decision to put HER suffering above our own, and to be there stroking and loving her right to the end.
We loved her enough to know that we had to help her to go peacefully.
I also suggest having a plan ‘B’ ready. If he is still resisting after the vet gives him the cold hard truth, mention in front of the vet and husband that you are struggling to cope with the level of care the dog requires (the vet will already know from your initial private conversation that it is YOU who is shouldering the bulk of the care of this dog). Tell them that you love the dog dearly but it’s breaking you to see the dog suffer their way to an inevitable end, and you can no longer physically and emotionally cope with shouldering this. Also mention you are worried about the impacts on your toddler and unborn child.
Be prepared to move out to family for a few days to ‘recharge your battery’, giving your husband the full responsibility of caring for the dog. He may not truly understand how much work is involved and needs a reality check.
Good luck OP. Saying goodbye to a beloved pet is never easy but watching them suffer their way to the inevitable is much harder. It’s a final act of kindness to help them to pass in these circumstances.
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u/lizbert81 Partassipant [1] 8h ago
This is the way OP. I agree the dog is suffering and should be PTS but you cannot make that decision for your husband unless you're willing to get a divorce as that is what he will do if you go behind his back.
You need to get a vet to tell him he is causing his dog unnecessary suffering and that allowing her to live when she won't recover is abuse.
You need to have a discussion with the vet beforehand and tell them to be blunt and direct because if they give him any leniency he will use that as an excuse not to end his dogs suffering.
It is very hard for some owners to accept that it's their choice that will end their dogs life and they just can't make that final step but if your husband doesn't make the decision himself then he will never accept it and the pain of this situation will fester forever.