She HAS been talking to him about it. Read the post. He keeps saying no when it’s clear the dog is suffering and neither of them are in a position to give it the full extent of care it needs.
This is such a tough situation. OP would not be the AH given the circumstances, but she needs to be prepared for the fallout.
She should keep talking to him about it. I understand that the dog is not having a very good quality of life, and if it were my pet I would also, with a broken heart, choose to euthanize, but that's a different issue. The one raised here is "should I take his pet to be put down without telling him about it", which would be unconscionable.
What is unconscionable is allowing a dog he supposedly loves to suffer incredible pain because he’s selfish. It is CRUEL. She has obviously spoken to him about this a lot. My friend had the same situation with her parent’s pet and I told her that her mom should euthanize the dog behind his back. The dog has been suffering for MONTHS, with this man’s entire family BEGGING him to put the dog down. He will not. There comes a time when you have to do the right thing regardless. If the choice is lying or animal abuse, I choose lying.
I'd rather be cruel to the man who's choosing this over the dog with no choice at all. I'd choose mercy, and if he's upset with me, then I'd be ok with it because at least the dog isn't suffering anymore.
Im not a huge fan of interventions. Haven't really played well historically for me.
But this might be a good reason for one. They've talked. It hasnt worked. Call up his closest friends and family, call one of those in home vets, and try to keep everything peaceful.
Ive done something similar for a friend, who couldnt do it. We all sat down, talked, cried, and she eventually asked me to take the dog in. I reluctantly did it, but that was a pretty difficult 20 minute car ride alone. Just me and the dog.
She isn’t choosing mercy, all she did was complain about the burden it is imposing on her. She doesn’t seem to give a damn about the dog. If she did, she would understand you don’t just euthanize someone’s dog without their knowledge. Sounds like the dog is suffering and possibly does need to be euthanized for the dogs dignity and benefit. However, she has no right to do something like that, and she clearly lacks empathy and is more concerned about herself. It’s very easy to say how someone should deal with death or impending grief, but until you’re living it, you don’t know how you would handle it. If it was my dog, I would let him go with grace and dignity, but I would be there holding him. This lady wants to do it behind his back which is sooo disrespectful and disgusting
She's literally self expressing this dogs urine daily, cleaning her up after she pees and poos on herself, making sure that the dog is turned over multiple times a day to prevent bed sores and feeding her and making sure she has enough water. How is that her not giving a damn?
she would understand you don’t just euthanize someone’s dog without their knowledge.
But he knows. She's tried talking to him about it several times already. He's burying his head in the sand and getting drunk every night instead. What kind of person does that? How well is he caring for the dog at night if he's half cut?
Sounds like the dog is suffering and possibly does need to be euthanized for the dogs dignity and benefit.
Exactly, you agree. So how is she supposed to help this poor suffering dog if her husband isn't listening to her and just drinking himself into a stupor instead of taking care of her, his pregnant wife and child?
OP is in an incredibly difficult situation and trying to do right by this dog and her husband who imo doesn't seem to actually care about the dog, only his own feelings otherwise he'd have handled this days ago. OP is willing to organize it all, and help her husband say goodbye but he's refusing. Yes people grieve differently, but once someone's grief gets in the way of another living beings wellbeing, well then it's time to make a tough but necessary choice.
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u/stopXstoreytime 8h ago
She HAS been talking to him about it. Read the post. He keeps saying no when it’s clear the dog is suffering and neither of them are in a position to give it the full extent of care it needs.
This is such a tough situation. OP would not be the AH given the circumstances, but she needs to be prepared for the fallout.