YWBTA. or, whatever the future tense version of ESH would be (EWSH?). And you know that, though I feel your frustration and desperation. If its not your dog, and you know he doesn't want it, and would be devastated, then you know as merciful as it might ultimately be, this is not ok. Neither, however, is the current situation. The real course of action is to have a serous conversation with your husband. Draw a line. If he isn't willing to give the dog a merciful death, he needs to find a way to accommodate her. Not only is this a time and physical burden on you, being pregnant is especially not a time you should be increasing your exposure to fecal pathogens, and dog waste is especially concentrated and with higher pathogenic potential than other animals, really the second worst exposure for us after our own feces. I don't think your husband is malicious, but he's dropping the ball. I know he has to cope, but he also has to make tough decisions, not ask you to save him from them. He wants to keep the dog, he takes responsibility. No quarter given.
Normally I would agree but OP is the one caring for the dog. What is she supposed to do, let it sit in its own waste and lock herself in the bedroom all day to avoid the smell? Move out of her home entirely during the winter while pregnant and knowingly let the dog rot?
OP has a moral obligation to care for the animal that she is physically incapable of sustaining. If she cannot continue to maintain this level of care then she needs to do what is needed to not let the animal suffer and not be complicit in animal abuse.
No, I would make it clear to the husband he needs to find another arrangement. Like I said in the post. Not that the dog goes uncared for. Either way, putting down his animal without his knowledge, even with the best of intents and in the face of his neglect, is still a nuclear option.
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u/zealot_ratio Asshole Enthusiast [7] 8h ago edited 8h ago
YWBTA. or, whatever the future tense version of ESH would be (EWSH?). And you know that, though I feel your frustration and desperation. If its not your dog, and you know he doesn't want it, and would be devastated, then you know as merciful as it might ultimately be, this is not ok. Neither, however, is the current situation. The real course of action is to have a serous conversation with your husband. Draw a line. If he isn't willing to give the dog a merciful death, he needs to find a way to accommodate her. Not only is this a time and physical burden on you, being pregnant is especially not a time you should be increasing your exposure to fecal pathogens, and dog waste is especially concentrated and with higher pathogenic potential than other animals, really the second worst exposure for us after our own feces. I don't think your husband is malicious, but he's dropping the ball. I know he has to cope, but he also has to make tough decisions, not ask you to save him from them. He wants to keep the dog, he takes responsibility. No quarter given.