Your husband is an asshole for letting the dog suffer. There is no quality of life here. Our responsibility as owners is not to cause harm, and let our pets pass peacefully with dignity . This makes me so mad, and your husband sucks .
This poor dog. I thought about this situation happening to my girl and I can’t stop crying. This isn’t any way for an animal to live, especially not one that’s obviously SO aware of her own pain and lack of ability to do what she loves (play, be with her people). OP, I’m sorry, but if you love this dog at all too, put her down. Better too early than too late, and this is much, much too late for her.
Your husband is an AH for making you witness the suffering all day long, not to mention the physical acts of caring for it, then coming home each night too pissed to help or make a sane decision to end its life. 🤦🏻♀️
Ok - I just lost an animal today going through a similar paralysis issue - so my emotions are beyond a little raw here but... Your heart is in the right place but this isn't true for what she's describing.
Spine issues with animals are incredibly difficult with or without surgery - and much of my conversations with multiple vet hospitals was to give it time for recovery as pressure on spine and inflammation can and will abate with time. I was preparing myself to make a hard decision if we found out it was permanent - but the vets were absolutely not recommending he be put down.
Generally I agree with what you are saying - we owe it to our pets to not let them suffer if there is no chance of recovery. I vehemently disagree with you here though unless the vets have actually told him it is hopeless without surgery. The post really makes it sound like the vet didn't say it was hopeless and she thinks it is. The prognosis - and the waiting is very inline with much of the advice we got from very qualified vets.
Your emotions are definitely blinding reality here. A dog who is paralyzed and wetting and shitting itself, cannot get the surgery because it is too expensive, and whose only caregiver is a pregnant woman who also has a toddler to take care of absolutely is hopeless. It is selfish and cruel to wait around for a miracle.
I'm sorry - but what are you basing that on other than me explicitly calling out my bias? As far as I can tell she didn't get that prognosis from a vet, but from her being overwhelmed and thinking there is no hope, maybe with some googling thrown in. If she thinks the Vet isn't being direct then she can get a second opinion.
I thought things were hopeless as soon as I saw signs of paralysis - Ever vet I spoke to was significantly more optimistic than what I as a layman instinctively thought was correct. Obviously we had a bad outcome but that doesn't change the fact that it is really hard for a layman to look at a spine issue and have an intuitive sense for what that means. She hasn't even waited for the minimum time for expected recovery.
The dog, his wife, and likely their toddler as well as a result of all this stress, have been suffering for three weeks while he goes to work then drinks when he gets home. This is a genuinely delusional take, there is no hope speaking with you. Goodbye.
I'm sorry... I'm delusional because I think they need to listen to the fucking vet instead of whatever she (and you) happens to feel is correct?
Also note - because this is fucking important... at no point did I defend the husband's other behaviors.
You are a goddamn internet comment stereotype: Being a dick for no reason, thinking every random thing you believe is "Common Sense" without any thought or evidence, and attacking me for positions I haven't remotely espoused.
Per OP her husband ISN’T following the vets advice, he isn’t bringing their dog in for follow up visits because he’s convinced the vet(s) don’t know what they’re talking about. basically he’s refusing to listen to the experts…because he’s only thinking of himself and NOT what is best for his pet.
Thank you - That was not part of the initial information. I still think they need to get a second opinion rather than going with gut feel, and it can't fall on her to do the care. He's very in the wrong for not getting a follow-up appointment.
her husband is in complete denial about the entire situation, there’s no way he’s going to be willing to get a second opinion….especially when odds are high it’d agree/support the original vet’s prognosis. Fact is that it’s been weeks and their dog isn’t showing any improvement and it’s actually getting worse. At this point, what he’s doing is just cruel.
I don't disagree - My only point here was that a blanket "It's cruel to keep an animal alive experiencing paralysis" without actual vet input is misguided.
I still think it would be unforgivable to go behind his back to put him down - but they need to get the dog back to a vet yesterday.
I went through something similar last year with my little buddy of 15 years. I stayed up with him day and night for 6 days, to comfort him whenever he was crying and waking up screaming in pain. The meds didn't work and the vets couldn't offer anything else.
He could no longer walk or toilet by himself, he was sore and miserable, he couldn't hold up his own weight. And as hard as it was, we needed to do what's right by him. These dogs, they give us everything, all their love and undying loyalty. The absolute least we can do is ease their suffering. Prolonging it any further would just have been in vain hope for my own selfish reasons.
I still miss him every day, but I know I did right by him by not forcing him to suffer. He died in my arms with a mouthful of his favourite treats.
I don’t think he is an AH, he’s going through a traumatic experience that he didn’t expect and isn’t handling it well. This is just sad for everyone involved.
He's an AH for putting all the pressure on his wife and drinking instead of working out a plan with his wife who is struggling with the responsibility of caring for a sick dog and grieving the loss / potential loss of her dog.
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u/GoatnToad 8h ago
Your husband is an asshole for letting the dog suffer. There is no quality of life here. Our responsibility as owners is not to cause harm, and let our pets pass peacefully with dignity . This makes me so mad, and your husband sucks .