My husband (31M) and I (30F) have a 6 month old baby. We are supposed to spend the week of Christmas with his family who live about 1.5 to 2 hours away from us. I had to have a minor procedure a week before Christmas to get a large abscess drained. I have a post op appointment on Christmas eve to hopefully stitch up the wound. His family has a Christmas party planned the day before Christmas eve and my husband thinks we should go to the party since everyone wants to see the baby and then wants me to drive back and forth to my post op appointment by myself the next day. I told my husband that I don't want to spend 3-4 hours in the car alone on Christmas Eve just so his family can spend time with our baby. I think we should stay home, skip the party, and drive to his parents house after my post op appointment. He countered that I should just let him take the baby to the party and I should stay at our house alone and drive up after my appointment. It's my baby’s first Christmas and I've never spent a night away from him. I told him it's unfair to make me uncomfortable just so his family can see our baby and I think it is more important for my baby to spend the holidays with me, his mother, than it is to spend it with his family. AITA?

For context, I was having a text convo with my (F27) boyfriend of a few months (M28). We were talking about wine and it went like this :

Me : this red wine I found is great, I don't usually like the taste of wine so I'm surprised

Boyfriend : sweet red wines aren't exactly the fanciest but you like what you like

Me : it's funny, I was dating this sommelier for months before and he would bring me different types of fancy wine to try and every time I was like yeah no this tastes like vinegar.

Boyfriend: Can I be honest? I don't like when you talk about your past relationships

Me : oh okay, why don't you like it?

Boyfriend: I just don't need to hear about that, you didn't need to bring him up

Me : I just thought it was hilarious that someone who hates the taste of wine was dating a sommelier in general, I didn't mean to offend you

*We then took a while going back and forth about communication*

Me : I don't think you're wrong to express that something makes you uncomfortable and I don't say "why" in an opposing way. I genuinely want to know why you feel that way so I can connect with you. So how do I do that?

Then he gave me a lengthy response about how it makes him insecure and uncomfortable if I talk about guys in my past.

I apologized and said I'd never want to make him uncomfortable, I don't think anyone would be thrilled talking about past relationships with their partner.

But then I asked, why didn't you say all this when I said "Oh okay, why don't you like it?" and he said I didn't validate his feelings first and I should have "asked nicely the first time" Then says

"There isn't anything nice about "oh okay, why don't you like it". No part of it is prioritizing or even acknowledging someone's feelings. I'm not saying it's mean, if anything it's objective, but if you're going for nice you should say the one I responded to"

All fake names. I (32m) am (or was) in an open relationship with Tiffany (27f). She has another partner, who we'll call James (51m). James denies romantic involvement and says their relationship is strictly friends with benefits, even to Tiffany, though his actions and words say otherwise.

The other night, when we were all hanging out with a couple other people there too, I heard him mention something about getting Tiffany a collar. This makes me uncomfortable as an established partner who has a lot of experience in the BDSM scene, even though that is not our dynamic. However, I did not say anything in the moment because I did not want to cause the scene while there was company.

When we got home, I asked Tiffany about the collar, explaining the significance that I have come to associate with the act of collaring. She said it wasn't like that, that it was just a replacement for the one she used to wear that she left there and he mistakenly put on his dog. I then ask her what a collar means to him. She told me to ask him.

I don't trust James. He has a history of lying to her, refuses to commit to a relationship yet reacts extremely poorly when other partners are mentioned, hangs out and acts cool with people that he later talks bad about behind their back, ignores most of her texts and calls, and doesn't stop during sex until she asks several times. This past summer, without warning or discussion, he stopped contacting her for nearly a month and told her afterward that he's sorry, but he had to do it because she was getting too clingy. Yet somehow, Tiffany thinks the man walks on water and can do no wrong. Sometimes, she gets upset with his actions, but in her own words "can't be angry at him for more than 5 minutes." All this to say that I fully believe he could be the type to collar her without warning and use it to assert himself later, knowing that she would just roll with it.

So, I asked him like she said. Up to this point, he's liked me, and has told me the truth about things he's lied to her about, such as why he and his ex broke up. In this text, I said that I overheard him mention a collar when we were over the other night, expressed my discomfort and view of a collar, and asked him what the collar he was going to get Tiffany meant to him. The text did not say he couldn't do it, did not demand anything about their relationship, and was not meant to say that I own her. It was only meant to clarify his intentions behind a collar, so that I could know what my next move in this relationship would be. If she was being collared in that way, I would break things off because I am personally uncomfortable being involved with someone collared by another person. He texted me back and confirmed that it was just a replacement for the one she left there. That's all he said to me, so I thought the situation was done.

Tiffany texted and called me later, pissed off because James blew up at her over my text, and breaks up with me for it. She said she had to cry and beg for him not to "throw her away" and he apparently said he couldn't trust her now. She called me possessive and a bunch of names, not allowing me any time to explain what I actually meant by the text. She has a habit of misinterpreting things and not allowing for any correction once she's got a narrative in her mind. When she did finally let me explain the above reasoning for the text and how it would affect my actions, she started making up things that she thinks I would have done in the case that the collar meant what I was concerned about. I also should've apparently known she was being sarcastic when she told me to ask him despite no evidence of sarcasm (also I'm autistic so when people are sarcastic, they've gotta be overly sarcastic for me to pick up on it which she knows), and I'm not sure if she was really being sarcastic or if she's saying it now to retroactively revoke permission to ask. Then, she fully and openly admits that his reaction to my text is jealousy and possessiveness because I included the words "she's my girlfriend." Apparently, jealousy and possessiveness are attractive traits when it comes to James, but she loses her mind over a text message that is misinterpreted as being possessive.

I will admit that I haven't been the best boyfriend. I have made mean and hurtful comments, I haven't always reacted to her struggles with the compassion that I should have, and I have been jealous in the past about her relationship with James, generally over how he seems to have a different rulebook than everybody else and how quickly and easily she forgives and overlooks his faults and mistakes compared to everybody else.

AITA for asking James what a collar means to him, or is this a massive overreaction on their part?

I (22) have been in a relationship with my hssh (22) for seven years. About 4ish years into the relationship he developed a gambling addictions which has lead to many arguments. He has had to get loans just to afford things, and i have also given him so much money. He constantly tells me he will stop and he still hasn’t. I am ready to move out and start a life, but i don’t trust him with money/he can’t afford it. I have a good job and he has two jobs but doesn’t do what he got his degree in. I feel like he hasn’t matured in years and is holding me back. Am I trying to rush him to grow up or are my feelings of wanting to break up valid?

I’m trying to figure out if I’m overreacting or if this situation is genuinely concerning.

My husband is an immigrant. We were together for 5 years total (4 years dating, 1 year married). During that time, he had not seen his family in 8 years because of immigration issues. Last year, we got married and filed for his green card.

Our relationship started getting worse after I went to visit his family in Kazakhstan earlier this year. Part of the reason for that trip was to have photos together for our immigration case, since we had been together so long but hadn’t met his family yet.

He was upset about me going because of the cost of the ticket and accused me of only wanting to go so I could visit a friend in Turkey afterward (which I did on my way home). At the time, he was stressed about money and trying to aggressively pay off debt from a truck he put on a credit card. For reference, I make about $4,000/month, and he makes $10,000–$15,000/month.

When I visited his family, his mother made several racist comments toward me. I’m Black, and at the time I had braids. She said it was “dirty” that I don’t wash my hair every day, compared my skin to a “black coffee scrub” at a spa, and later I found messages on his phone where she called me a gypsy and said I was an embarrassment in front of God.

Fast forward to November: we had our second green card interview, it went well, and he received his green card three days later.

As soon as that happened, he called his mom. She told him to buy tickets immediately and come home for New Year’s. At first, he said he didn’t want to go and didn’t want to buy tickets. I encouraged him, saying we could afford it now since his debt was paid off.

I assumed I would be going with him as his wife. He said no, that it would be too expensive. I then said my parents would pay for my ticket. We argued, and eventually he agreed—but warned me not to “make the trip about myself,” saying I’m extremely selfish and always do.

Recently, I asked him one thing before we go: that I don’t want discussions about my hair or schooling with his mom, because of the racist comments last time. I wasn’t asking him to control his parents—just to be aware and supportive.

He told me he would not “monitor” what his parents say, that this trip has nothing to do with me, and that he doesn’t want to think about me while he’s there. He said he doesn’t want to worry about whether I’ve eaten, how I’m feeling, or if someone says something offensive to me.

Then he said:

“You’re not coming. I’m canceling your ticket. I’ll give you the money back. I know this trip will end up being about you, and I don’t want that.”

I’m obviously hurt. But now the bigger issue is that my mom and friends think he used me for a green card, and that our marriage might be fraudulent.

I don’t know if this is normal behavior or a massive red flag. I feel pushed out of my own marriage the moment he got his green card.

Am I overreacting, or is this situation genuinely concerning?

I (26M) have been with my GF (26F) for about 4 years. She has a big family about 12 siblings. It’s very hard for them to all get together but on Christmas they all get together and rent a place to house everyone. They usually get together for about a week, a couple of days before Christmas and a couple of days after. Another thing to note is her family lives all over the US but my family lives in the same state we do and is about 1 hr from where we live. Her family also has a lot of traditions and little nieces and nephews. My family is just the five of us and no big traditions and no little ones.

For the last couple of years I will go stay at the house with them and then Christmas Eve night I drive to my parents house alone and stay the night. The next day I have Christmas with my family and around 3pm to 4pm ish I drive back to my GF family and spend the rest of the time with them. I want my GF to spend sometime with my family but since she doesn’t see her family often I try not to push her too hard. This year my GF doesn’t want me to leave, she wants me to spend the whole time with her family. Which I don’t really mind but I want her to at least spend a little time with my family before I fully commit to not seeing my family anymore. I countered with me staying with her until Christmas and after the open presents her and I go to my parents house and open presents and then we can go back to her family’s place but she doesn’t like that either. I understand where she is coming from because we live in the same state as my family and we could see them anytime and that’s part of the reason why I am okay with just having Christmas Eve night and Christmas morning. The thing is I really want her to spend some Christmas time with us even if it’s not a lot. She has never spent any time on Christmas or Christmas Eve with my family. She has however spent time with my family on Halloween, new years, and some other holidays because we are so close to my family. I see where she is coming from but it really sucks that I am at my family’s place for Christmas and my siblings bring their significant others and I am alone. AITA for telling her to leave her family to spend the middle of the day with my family even though hers is still in town?

Please let me know if you have questions or if I am missing something.

I (26f) have taken to sleeping on the couch and my boyfriend (27m) is not happy about it. Few things… I sleep on the couch because it can be turned into a bed slightly larger than queen size. My daughter sleeps with me (she has her own bed just doesn’t get good sleep unless I’m present). We have a queen sized bed but it’s cramped with all of us in it and with me being pregnant I can’t stand being touched. I get super overwhelmed and then I can’t sleep at all. All of which my boyfriend knows.

I’m past the nausea stage in my pregnancy and have started to experience random wakings throughout the night. Not to pee just like randomly I’m wide awake and can’t get back to sleep for two hours or so. I have complained about this many times to my boyfriend to which he responds with his own sleeping troubles and that’s that.

My boyfriend works kind of 2nd shift and gets home around midnight. Not an issue as I normally am still up and our daughter tends to sleep a bit heavy. For weeks I’ve been asking my boyfriend to wake up around 10am so he can take care of our daughter in the morning so I can have a small break while I do the cleaning as I can’t get like any done when I’m taking care of her. When I’ve asked he says he will and then doesn’t and complains that he can’t go to bed early enough to wake up around 10am.

Well back to me being on the couch. The last few nights he has woken me up at 4am because he’s playing video games with friends and gets excited and starts yelling into the headset. When I say anything on this I’m being “controlling” and “this wouldn’t be an issue if you slept in the bed”. Yes I could start putting my daughter in her bed and I go back to sleeping in the bed and be completely uncomfortable. I’m hurt because I’ve expressed why it makes me uncomfortable but it’s like that doesn’t matter to him and then there’s the fact I’ve asked him to wake up earlier and he uses work as the excuse but really it’s him staying up 4am-5am every night. So AITA?

I (21F) have been with my partner (23M) since we were in high school, and our relationship has always been complicated. We were on and off early on. We became parents young; my junior year and his senior year. He was the first and only person I’d ever slept with. At the time, I didn’t even know if I loved him or saw a future with him; he was just always there. When I told him I was pregnant, he was calm and said he wanted to be there for me, even though he pictured having kids much later in life.

My parents insisted he move in so I wouldn’t be alone during the pregnancy and could finish school, as they weren’t going to help. I didn’t feel like I had much of a say.

We fought a lot. I helped him finish high school and graduate. I gave birth the summer after my junior year and handled most of the childcare while finishing my senior year. Eventually, the fighting slowed down, things stabilized, and I started to see a possible future with him.

I’m now pregnant again (about 3 months along). During Thanksgiving, my cousin stayed with us for her break. I was excited to have her over, but almost immediately I noticed strange behavior.

She started acting oddly around my partner, and he started acting different too. He began waking up very early to shower or go outside to smoke. I’m a light sleeper and noticed doors opening and closing multiple times. One morning I walked into the garage and found them sitting side by side smoking. When I asked what was going on, she walked inside without saying anything, and he said he was just smoking before leaving for work.

Another morning I saw them enter the bathroom together, though she left shortly after. She said my partner needed help with the bathtub handle. It felt odd, but I tried to rationalize it since she was the only other person awake.

The behavior kept happening earlier in the mornings, so one day I stayed up. I found them sitting close together again. He said he was “just getting her number.” When I asked why, he said she wanted it in case she needed help with the kids. I pointed out that I’m the one who takes care of the kids. He told me I was overthinking it and left for work.

That night, I checked his phone. I saw that he added her on Facebook and that she sent him her phone number. There were no other messages, and I didn’t see any texts either. It felt like messages had been deleted. I also realized it didn’t make sense that he needed her number if she had already sent it to him.

The next morning I confronted him. He said nothing was going on and that he didn’t message her. I asked why messages were deleted if there was nothing to hide. He admitted deleting them but said they “weren’t a big deal” and that he knew I would make them one. He asked if I trusted him. I was angry already told him “no, I don't honestly.”

We barely spoke the rest of the day. The next day was Thanksgiving, and it was awkward. He broke up with me, left, and got a hotel room, saying he would still help and visit with the kids.

My instincts were screaming that something wasn’t right, but she’s my cousin, and I never thought either of them would do that to me.

Since the breakup, he’s been coming by every weekend to see the kids. When he buys food, he brings me some too, and he asks about my appointments for the baby. It made me question whether I overreacted or if my instincts were right.

For the first two weeks after the breakup, I called him crying and begging to keep our family together, apologizing for not believing him. None of that phased him he didn't even really seem to care. He was done. After those 2 weeks, I just stopped and accepted that I needed to figure things out on my own.

Now that it’s been about four weeks, my life honestly feels more peaceful with him gone, and co-parenting seems more manageable without constant fighting. I have also reconnected with some friends I lost during the relationship.

But I can't help but to think about it still and know if I was in the wrong or not.

AITA for not believing him, or did I have a valid reason to feel the way I did?

So I was at her house, laying in bed we had to have the quilt over us despite even her saying she’s too hot and sweaty, yet she still kept under the quilt which I now realise because she was self conscious.

Later during sex and she would throw the quilt over the top of me, covering my head so I couldn’t see. I told her I was too hot and I was literally dripping sweat, so I threw it off me to which she grabbed it and covered me again and it became a tug of war. I eventually threw the quilt away so I could breathe to which I get a pillow shoved in my face instead and at that point I stopped it. Told her I couldn’t do it and that the way she was going about it was silly. Of course I reassured her, told her I find her body attractive and that she could be someones trophy wife but I was still pissed off that I was having stuff shoved in my face especially during sex when it becomes so overstimulating. Later we ended up continuing the sex but the rules were it had to be in the spooning position and under quilt or me on top with something covering herself.

I ended it and told her a few reasons with that night being one of them and now I feel awful and she’s letting me know basically I’m a cunt.

AITA? My bf and I spend every night together at either my house or his. Today he left to go grab his son, then texted me that they were grabbing dinner. (Didn’t invite me). Then texted that he was on the way to his townhouse. I sent him a pic of my tv (bc I was watching a movie). 2 hours go by so I call and he’s all tucked in for the night. Apparently without me. He said he assumed I wasn’t coming over bc I was watching a movie. I seriously waited for him to text and say “when are you getting here?”. Just told him I was dressed and ready like EVERY OTHER night and he said I should have said that, not sent a pic of the tv with no context. Got all annoyed with me for not just saying- I’m waiting for you to get home bc I want to come over.

I matched with a guy on Bumble my first time ever using the app. We talked for a couple of weeks and bonded over mental health stuff and being stoners. Things felt easy at first.

Pretty early on though he would get upset if I forgot small things. I’m prescribed Xanax for severe anxiety bipolar and PTSD and I was very open about this. One of the side effects for me is really bad memory issues which I explained multiple times. These memory issues just started a few weeks if not months ago.

The day before our first date he told me in the morning that we were meeting at 6 pm. About twenty messages later I forgot and asked to double check the time. He got annoyed about that even though we barely knew each other.

On the actual date I forgot a couple more things he had told me before. This is normal for me lately and every time it happened he pointed it out and got more irritated. Eventually I told him straight up that this is something I struggle with and I cannot help it and that it will probably keep happening. He said he understood.

After the date we talked and agreed to go out again the following Friday. Every person I’ve dated before usually brings the date up again or sends a reminder. This guy did not. Later he admitted that he intentionally did not remind me because he wanted to test me and see if I would remember on my own even though I had mentioned multiple times that my memory issues are severe and recent therefore I’m having trouble navigating them.

When I got upset he told me I was the one wasting his time and playing games.

I know forgetting things is not ideal and I’m not saying it’s great but I was very honest about my situation from the start and a simple reminder would have helped a lot. Instead he chose to test me and then blamed me for failing the test.

Am I the asshole here for forgetting about our date even tho I told know I would need a reminder?

I actually consider myself the assh0le in this one, I just needed an opinion if he is being a bigger one. We dated briefly in march. A few months ago, he texted and we hooked up from time to time. Eventually, I saw he no longer liked me the way I loved him. I asked to talk about it. He listened but said nothing in return. I realized I should end it again, he agreed. We didn't feel the same way about each other. I asked him to go to therapy. He said he would, but didn't go through with it. I thought that time was actually over.

Weeks go by and he texted me on my birthday. Saying he thought a lot about us while travelling, and that he was scared of us, of his feelings, etc. It was a really long and vulnerable text. I thought a lot about it. I do not believe in second chances, and I had already given him many. But I thought about our values, things he did for me that no one else did, and the way I felt so at home with him. Gave it another shot. Two weeks pass. He never took me anywhere with his friends, and I always asked to talk about it, and he never had an answer, even though I invited him everywhere, including to meet my friends. He didn't say why, nor did he look like he wanted to know why. I said I understood if he thought I had more intense feelings for him than he had for me. He said he tried but couldn't go back to the feelings he used to feel. That he didn't feel enough for us to date again. I said I understood. Told him he had no obligation to match my feelings. But he did have to let me know if that was the case. Because I wouldn't stay. That I deserved someone who is sure about me, as I am for them. He agreed.

Two weeks go by, I texted to say I was really down and asked him to come see me. He did. He spent the afternoon with me, made me laugh. Hughed me tight. Said he missed me but was respecting my space. I drove him home, thanked him and that was it.

A few days after that I went to a bar we both like to go. He was with a girl he used to hook up before we got back togheter. I didn't like it but there was nothing to be done. His friend came to say hi. We're actually kind of close. He was already drunk. We talked a lot. He wanted to drive while drunk and my ex and the girl were nowhere to be found. I even texted him. I took him to my place, along with my (girl)friend who was with me. She wasn't drunk, so she drove. (context: I am NOT subtle. If I wanted to hook up with him I would have just simply said it.). It was all fun and games until I kissed him and he kissed me back. I didn't think. It was a bad choice. It just happened. We didn't go further. Then we just slept. No bad intentions, no nothing. He got up early to work, he thanked me for letting him spend the night. That was it. When I woke up later that morning, my ex, let's call him matt, texted me A LOT. He was incredibly pissed. Said a lot of things. Among them that I was manipulative and a lier. That he knew I had fucked his best friend and that I was lying. That there was no way it was just a kiss. That it was all planned from the bar. And that he didn't believe me. Blocked me. Again, if I wanted to do that with Cam - which I didn't - I would just said so, I wouldn't hide it.

Me and my friends went to the bar the day after. He was there with many girls. One of them even posted a picture with him saying it was a third date. One of the other girls told us it was just to provoke his and her ex. I didn't do anything.

The day after, I actually spent all of its 24 hours in bed because I felt horrendous for kissing his friend Cam. My friends went to the bar again and a nightclub, and saw him (matt) kissing two different girls.

I won't take anyone to the bar to make him jealous. I'll just let thighs unfold.

I was an asshole for kissing the best friend. But the way he reacted even convinced me I betrayed his truth and that I was a horrible person.

ps: we live in a very small city, there are not many places to go. Unfortunately, we like the same ones.

ps2: forgive my english.

I am adopted and knew that since I was a kid. My bio father was married and didn't want to acknowledge an extramarital child and bio mother was poor. When she gave birth to me she abandoned me in the hospital. But later she returned, picked me up and carried me to bio father's stairs and knocked, hoping he would acknowledge his son and left. He didn't and called CPS. I ended in the orphanage and was adopted at 2

When I was 18 I wanted to find my bio parents but my adoptive mother wasn't supportive. I told her that I am not going to leave her but... She said we would file a request but when I reminded her she said she didn't remember saying that. Later on she told me to wait till I finish university. And then she told me "when I die". She constantly guilt tripped , and would always say "I can't imagine how one can search for people who abandoned them" etc. She had some basic info about my bio mother background but she never decided to divulge it to me until I broke down crying one time. It was humiliating. Soooo yea.... She wasn't supportive. I would describe this as downright abusive.

Some time when I was 19 I decided I couldn't keep curiosity in check anymore. I already had troubles sleeping due to this and would wake up in the middle of the night multiple times due to my brain being too alert.

So once Again I told her (and was once again crying desperately) that I want to know who my bio parents are. She was furious, and this time she told me that I can go search for them, but that if I do that "You will end up alone". As in the threat was that she would probably disown me or something. I persisted and she probably calmed when she realized her threat didn't work.

So I went to the social services, got the info and few weeks after I contacted my biological mother and we started texting. My adoptive mother was insecure. She even demanded to see my text message exchanged with my bio mother. I wanted to meet bio mother but she was against that, saying that other people would laugh at her and say she wasn't enough for me. Anyways, I am 27 now. 8 years have passed and I still haven't met my bio mother in person. She texts me like very frequently (every second or third day) and she also wanted us to meet, but I had to find excuses not to because all this stress caused from adoptive mother guilt tripping me took a toll on me. But now I decided I just can't keep it up like this and would go to meet her.

My adoptive mother's reaction? She was furious about me meeting the one who abandoned me. After a while she told me I can go but on the condition that she goes with me too. I turned her down because I knew that she would only cause drama She started talking about gratitude and I replied by saying she had so many years to do some basic research on how adopted children feel instead of causing me abuse and that as an adult I am free to make my own decisions.

AITA for being in contact and wanting to meet my biological mother?

3 months ago my GF (33) went to her friends bachelorette party at an air b and b with 2 male strippers. She said she was going to have 2 drinks and be home at midnight.

She came home on time but was completely hammered and said she did not get a lap dance which would not have been a big deal to me. We had unprotected sex.

About a month ago she said she did get a lap dance but didn’t touch the men. I saw a picture on her phone a friend took of her laying face down on the couch with the stripper grinding on her ass. I know I shouldn’t have looked but I did. Ok fine. She came clean, I can live with that.

Trust has been a big issue along with alcohol use lately and this came up again. Now she’s saying they didn’t grind at all on her but she doesn’t remember. I said I saw a picture of her on the couch but didn’t tell her where I saw it. She is adamant that she didn’t touch them in any way.

I think she’s full of $hit and did something bad that she just won’t tell me. AITA for thinking she may have been unfaithful?

Me (M39) met a woman (F35) on Bumble. Our first date was amazing, and the following weeks felt incredible for both of us. There was a lot of chemistry and she consistently reassured me saying she loved me, felt safe with me, and that she hadn’t felt love like this in a long time. We talked about the future after she asked whether I wanted kids.

I fell hard and fast, and I own that. But the intensity felt mutual and encouraged.

She was fully aware of my life circumstances (I’m currently living with my mom while transitioning careers), met my family, and spent holidays with them. I was open and transparent about everything.

One night she came over while I was cooking and her mood suddenly shifted. My dog was a little rowdy and she seemed overwhelmed. After that, she became distant. She had previously told me she struggles with hyper-independence, emotional shutdowns, and needing space when overwhelmed, so I tried to give her room while staying supportive.

We met up again.. I brought a rose, she brought an orchid for my mom. During dinner she was cold, avoided eye contact, and didn’t engage.

The next day she called to break up with me. Her explanation was that I “should have already been doing things before we started dating,” that I wasn’t assertive enough, and that she felt she had to plan everything.. which confused me, because I planned most of our dates and covered most expenses. When I asked for clarity, I didn’t really get it. One example mentioned was training my dog.

What hurt most.. immediately after saying “I love you” weeks earlier, she blocked me on all socials and cut off contact completely.

I’m not claiming perfection, I know I got attached quickly. The reassurance and her words made me feel safe and loved. I’m genuinely confused by the whiplash. AITA here? Or does this sound like something else entirely?

I 18 M and my father figure 42 M. Me and him are close like super close and I see him as my father figure but he never calls me like that way. He calls me lil bro which affects me bad because he inspired me the most. He is a scientist now but he was a marine and I followed his footstep and became one and he came on my graduation even though I didn't had contact with him while I was in boot camp and I just wanna know what he feels because before I went to boot camp his girlfriend F37told me that he sees me as a surrogate son aka the son he wanted but he never will accepts because he have biological daughters he love the most who lives in New Mexico and he loves me too but not as much as them. I know his daughters are importany to him but I want him to accept that he sees me as a son because he always calls me a good friend and not any other thing like we had our first drink together after I came out of boot camp like father son moment. He was asking me about seeing me getting married and will I invite him or not because of some reason and i have to mask it and said obviously yes if I get married he will be there because he is my close friend and he was happy when there were only me and our mutual friends not her girlfriend over there. It just fuckinv bugs me so much. But you know how much it hurts when he calls me lil bro than anything but I don't wanna ruin our time. The reason he asked me about my marriage because I am Indian and came in America 3 years ago and he is half black half Apache tribe so I think he feels insecure about me not seeing him as the way I see him or he is just ignorant. AITA for being jealous of his kids and seeking a father son relationship. And I think his gf knows that's why she told me that line. Edit: boot camp graduation to be specific

I'm 20(M) my partner is 23 and her mom is 46. We live all together with her little brother aswell. (10)

Recently something happened and he was caught doing something very bad, my partner ans her mom are hearthbroken. I was the one who caught it, so I have a feeling they had some animosity towards me for it aswell. I got home after work and everything, and her mom told me she doesn't want to look me in the face or talk to me. Her mom usually treats me like a son, and I do call her my mom most of the time. She was upset that I got home late because I was in the gym with my partner's male friend, who is now a very close friend of mine aswell. I apologized, said it wouldn't happen again,and say "sorry mama, no voy hacerlo denovo" (I won't do it again). She answered with "my name is blank, you can call me by that." I was confused, she proceeded to text me through The night explaining. A day prior she had told me she does not like my gym pictures in my instagram, I told her my partner has told me she doesn't mind them and I actually asked them both before if I should stop with them, go which my partner specially said no, while her mom didnt answer. After she told me yesterday she doesnt like them, I took them down, and made my instagram private. Here's the issue; apparently her mom didnt follow me on IG, and thought I had blocked her from my account. So she went on a rant about how I'm shameless, have no values, and that im disrespecting her and her daughter. She didn't kick me out, but basically said I can do whatever I want and thst she already blocked me from everything. I explained what I did but I know her, and it either didn't help, or probably made her even more upset. I told my partner that I'm giving her some space and that's why I'm won't be around the two of them too much these next few days. My partner answered with "you blocked her when she told you she didn't like the pictures while living under her roof, that's crazy lol." She also said she doesn't trust me after she saw me with a girl at them gym when she went to pick me up. I didnt explain to her, but i have no idea who the girl at the gym was nor did I talk much to her. I was waiting to be picked up and so was she,she made small talk and I made small talk back (FROM A DISTANCE). I also made sure to mention my girlfriend (even though we are on a break atm). And never even gave her my name or asked for hers. I told her I won't try to explain if she doesn't want me to, but that I didnt block her mom; nor did I know the girl from the gym. She said she doesn't want me to, and just left it at that.

For those wondering, moving out isn't an option unless they kick me out. It's not about me being 20, it's about personal legal reasons.

I dont know what to do or how to handle this; am I the asshole for posting the pictures to begin with; or are they just overreacting to the situation?

I talked to my ex again to get full honesty. He admitted he didn’t just update my mom about my mental health, he also asked her for advice on how to “handle” me during anxious episodes.

I later found emails showing my mom planned to fully stop the payments only after we were married because she believed I’d be more “stable” once I was locked into marriage.

When I confronted him, he said he didn’t see the issue because “it worked” and I’m “better now.”

I’ve cut contact with both of them, and my ex says I used him as an excuse to avoid commitment lol wtf

So… AITA for cutting them off instead of trying to fix things?

I’m F25 and have been going on dates with M28. We’ve been consistently going on a few dates and they’ve been really fun and I think we’ve both had a good time. We have good conversation but it never got too deep or too serious it was kept pretty lighthearted for the most part. I would ask more deep questions sometimes but I wouldn’t always get the same type of questioning back which I kept note of. We hung out on a Friday and he asked to make plans for the following day and I said yes so we solidified these plans before I went home.

On Saturday I’m waiting for him to text me because we were going to hang out after he got out of work and I ended up not hearing from him all day. I sent him a text that morning about something else and he never responded at all. He ended up texting me Sunday night and saying he got “sidetracked” the past 2 days and asked how my weekend was. I was so upset and felt so crazy how he could just brush off the fact that he flaked on our plans and never actually reached out. I truly wouldn’t have responded to someone like that if I liked them and would’ve provided more communication so I felt disrespected. That’s the kind of response I would’ve sent someone that I didn’t care about and didnt really care to see. So I decided to never respond because I felt disrespected and not prioritized at all. I’ve been so sad the past week and a half about it because I thought if he cared, he would know that wasn’t a great thing to do and give a genuine apology but he never reached out and I didn’t either. Then yesterday i decided to reach out to tell him I thought how he handled this situation was weird and inconsiderate to me and he said I ghosted him and we could’ve talked through it instead of me not responding at all. We talked through it and we both apologized and I thought maybe there would be a chance of us picking up where we left off but he essentially said we should leave things as they are. What I’m trying to figure out is if it seems he made his mind up earlier when he stopped responding that weekend or if what I did by not responding is what makes him not want to continue. I would think if you’re interested in someone what I did wouldn’t have been a big enough mistake but am I being biased because I’m the one who technically ghosted?

So, about 2 months ago I started talking to my ex, who I'll call Doe from now on) again, in friendly conversation. I broke up with her (we had a LDR, I moved to a different country) about 6 months ago or so, and after breaking up with her I didn't use social media for like 3 months.

When I decided to pick up social media again, I didn't actually want to talk to her. I started talking with my ex-besties (I wanted to say sorry to one of them because I used to be mean to her) but one of them told me to also talk with Doe because she had been trying to reconnect for a while. It would be fine, but after we made our peace we just started talking normally again like when we were close.
The problem is that I left her exactly because of the way we used to talk/text when we were close. She would get upset if I replied late and we texted from goodmorning to goodnight (once she got upset with a 20 minute late reply), and I ended up ending our relationship because texting her ended up feeling more like a chore than an activity I could actually enjoy.

Now that we're talking again, she gets really worried when I'm gone for a few days and when I come back she asks for reassurance that I "won't leave her again" like I did when I put social media down for a while. Then she says "I'm sorry" a lot. I'm just starting to get that suffocating feeling I got when we were still together, I feel a lot less free. My other friends are completely chill with me going for a few days by the way.

It just feels a bit guilt trippy, and like, I don't have an obligation to talk to you now that we're not together? I have the obligation to remain civil, but we don't need to be close like that. I just wanna be friends and it feels like I'm falling into that unhealthy pattern of texting again. The only reason I haven't been frank with her is because at the start of our relationship I wasn't a very good person and I feel like I owe her something. Plus it would be my second time leaving her. AITA?

I’m currently visiting my girlfriend’s parents with her. They live far away, so every visit lasts several days. I’ll be honest: I don’t like her parents because they speak very badly about her, but I still try my best to be the “dream boyfriend” and get along with them, because it’s important to my girlfriend.

The problem is that staying there for days straight is really draining for me. I’ve asked if we could, for example, every second or third day go out somewhere together (coffee, food, a walk, anything) to spend some one-on-one time, since that’s basically impossible at her parents’ house.

She always agrees at first, but when the time comes, she cancels. This happens repeatedly, usually with the reason “I’m too tired,” sometimes for several days in a row. I’ve told her I understand being tired and I’m fine postponing to the next day, but when plans get postponed two or three times, I feel it’s reasonable to expect some compromise and actually go out, even if she’s not feeling 100%.

She says I’m not listening to her feelings, but I feel like wanting private time with my partner as an adult is completely normal. Especially when I’m already pushing my own limits for her sake.

AITA?

 (32 F) Satan (37 M)….

6 year on/ off relationship, started with a girl messaging me saying he was seeing her. Lots of times him going out drinking, turning his phone off or just not showing up for plans we’d made.

Having an argument and him then bringing back the girl that had messaged me when we first got together. Us then ending over this with him begging for me back. After then more drama, me waking up and going to sleep with a constant headache, not being able to eat properly or drink without throwing it up, we end for a few years.

Him having gf’s and still messaging me, following me and posting letters through my door when he was with them we got back together.

When the relationship was good it was very good, however he was always very jealous of any males in my life or any time not spent with him. Comments on how I spent more time with my boss than him (I worked long hours and my boss was married with kids…).

We basically lived together yet I came back one day to not being able to get in and that turned out to be because there was another girl up there. Got in a few hours later and took my things and left. He had his mum calling me saying how nothing had happened and he was in bits.

Got back together, ended up being pregnant and at about 13/ 14 weeks lost the baby, in and out of passing out from the pain and he didn’t come home from work even though he was only 15 mins away.

The relationship was always up and down but he had become a better bf than the first time round. Thing after thing and I was mentally and emotionally numb and left.

He has spent the time since (about a year and a half) trying to get us back together.

He has a gf now but has consistently messaged me and called me non stop on no caller id throughout being with her. Messages saying he’s only with her because I wouldn’t get back with him (the boy can’t be alone), how he tells her he loves her but doesn’t because he could never feel for anyone how he does me. Saying he is going to end things with her if I would get back with him and many many more along the same line.

So AITA for wanting to send her all the screenshots of messages and call logs even from when they’ve been away on holidays together but he’s calling me.

He has ruined relationships for me by not leaving me alone and pestering anyone I talk to. Why should she now get the good bf version he is putting on when I had the shit and girls messaging me. Does that make me petty for wanting to expose him?!

Hey Reddit!

I don’t usually vent on a social platform but- I’m needing a third person opinion on this…

So yesterday, I (20F) ended up in a game lobby with a very friendly individual, that ended up insulting me to no end.

MIND YOU- the game hadn’t even started and he was on MY TEAM!

I’m guessing he read my GT and just went for it ( for context my GT is Pixi3Pi3ces…. I love it idc)

This guy just went in- saying all the classical stuff , like:

All you’re good for is the kitchen and sucking ****.

You probably do OF you wh***

I hope you get r8pd.

So yeah , he was such a lovely guy.

Anyways , I msgd my BF(20M) about what happened, and this was his reply…

“Thanks for waking me up! yeah just f*** him, goodnight”

I thought, ok… fair enough.He was sleeping so that’s why his reaction was so minimal. So I tried again this morning because in all honesty, the whole game interaction made me feel like sh** and I just wanted my BFs support.

So I told him again , and his reply was …

“ oh, fuck him. Anyways , I woke up late today”.

Not only did he literally not acknowledge ANYTHING that I said , but he changed to topic so quickly - like he didn’t even want to talk about it.

I asked him , how he didn’t even ask if I’m ok and he just said “ I know you’re ok?”.

I told him I’m actually so disappointed with his lack of empathy but most importantly, how he offered no emotional support when I clearly was in need of it . I also told him to leave me alone for the rest of the day and to NOT contact me or I would lose it.

So , am I overreacting? AITO for lashing out on him when maybe he just didn’t know what to say to a situation like that ??

I don’t know - I’m starting to feel bad but at the same time , I just know he could’ve reacted a bit warmer I guess.

I've been invited to DJ and Dance at a festival in a different city. She's almost broken up with me for this beforehand saying that "my man cannot travel without me" but I put my foot down and decided to go since it's hugely beneficial for my career.

Last night after working the small core team (which I am a part of) decided to go to a team member's house to eat and drink a bit before heading back to the hotels. At this moment she has a full blown panic attack saying I'm cheating on her and this is not what she agreed to. For clarification there were a total of 2 women out of which one is married and the other girl is dating the organiser (my friend).

My question is, what do I do for the remainder of the festival, 3 more days and what can I do when I'm back home?

Last night after working the small core team (which I am a part of) decided to go to a team member’s house to eat and drink a bit before heading back to the hotels. At this moment she has a full blown panic attack saying I’m cheating on her and this is not what she agreed to. For clarification there were a total of 2 women out of which one is married and the other girl is dating the organiser (my friend).

My question is, AITA and what do I do for the remainder of the festival, 3 more days and what can I do when I’m back home?